MOBLEYC57
05-21-2003, 03:01 PM
1) What is a KISS? It\'s an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
2) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take showers.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.
3) Why is a penis better than a credit card?
1. Once spent recharges itself.
2. It is accepted worldwide.
3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbor\'s son has a penis like a peanut!
MOTHER: You mean it\'s that small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it\'s that salty!!!
5) A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
6) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?
MAN: No,I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
7) Women top 5 lies:
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can\'t do that to my best friend.
2. I won\'t gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
8) A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says: What is that? He says: We go home, screw, and then you disappear.
9) What is the closest thing to a woman\'s period?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn\'t come, you are F*CKED!!!
10) Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied: The legs...because everynight I see my mom\'s legs up high and screaming \"OH GOD! OH GOD! I\'M COMING!!\"
11) Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil: Because I heard my sister\'s boyfriend say \"TONIGHT I\'M GONNA EAT YOUR PUSSY FOR YOU.\"
12) What\'s the difference between a panty and a stage curtain??
Answer: When you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTIES... IT\'S SHOWTIME.
13) AGES OF VAGINA:
-16 to 19 BRAND NEW.
-20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
-29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
-37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
-46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
-56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
-61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!
14) MOM: Didn\'t I tell you if stranger touches your breast say \"DON\'T.\" And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
GIRL: But mom, he touched both, so I kept telling him PLEASE DON\'T STOP!!!!\"
15) GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
9 INCHES - Oh Sh#t, pain!!
7 INCHES - Oh, I\'m in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
2) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take showers.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.
3) Why is a penis better than a credit card?
1. Once spent recharges itself.
2. It is accepted worldwide.
3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbor\'s son has a penis like a peanut!
MOTHER: You mean it\'s that small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it\'s that salty!!!
5) A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
6) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?
MAN: No,I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
7) Women top 5 lies:
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can\'t do that to my best friend.
2. I won\'t gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
8) A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says: What is that? He says: We go home, screw, and then you disappear.
9) What is the closest thing to a woman\'s period?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn\'t come, you are F*CKED!!!
10) Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied: The legs...because everynight I see my mom\'s legs up high and screaming \"OH GOD! OH GOD! I\'M COMING!!\"
11) Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil: Because I heard my sister\'s boyfriend say \"TONIGHT I\'M GONNA EAT YOUR PUSSY FOR YOU.\"
12) What\'s the difference between a panty and a stage curtain??
Answer: When you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTIES... IT\'S SHOWTIME.
13) AGES OF VAGINA:
-16 to 19 BRAND NEW.
-20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
-29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
-37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
-46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
-56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
-61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!
14) MOM: Didn\'t I tell you if stranger touches your breast say \"DON\'T.\" And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
GIRL: But mom, he touched both, so I kept telling him PLEASE DON\'T STOP!!!!\"
15) GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
9 INCHES - Oh Sh#t, pain!!
7 INCHES - Oh, I\'m in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif