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View Full Version : Things you'd love to say at work, but can't.



Briela
05-09-2003, 07:27 PM
1. I can see your point, but I still think you\'re full of sh*t.

2. I don\'t know what your problem is, but I\'ll bet it\'s hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you\'ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I\'m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I\'ll try being nicer if you\'ll try being smarter.

7. I\'m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don\'t work here. I\'m a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can\'t understand a word you\'re saying.

10. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers..

12. I\'m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

13. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

14. Thank you. We\'re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

15. The fact that no one understands you doesn\'t mean you\'re an artist.

16. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

18. I\'m not being rude. You\'re just insignificant.

19. It\'s a thankless job, but I\'ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

20. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

21. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

22. Do I look like a people person?

23. This isn\'t an office. It\'s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

24. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

25. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

26. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

27. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

28. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

29. I\'m trying to imagine you with a personality.

30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

31. Can I trade this job for what\'s behind door #1?

32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

33. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

34. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Gerund
05-09-2003, 08:37 PM
*********
6. I\'ll try being nicer if you\'ll try being smarter.
29. I\'m trying to imagine you with a personality.
*********

If the world was perfect, I would have been allowed to say those two. Frequently.

Andy
05-10-2003, 09:29 AM
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

looooooooooooooooool

**DONOTDELETE**
05-10-2003, 11:53 AM
I was LOL from number 1 and tried to keep a running tally of which I liked best, but one was as good or better than the next. These are just great. Hope you don\'t mind if I use a few. I work around people smart assed enough to appreciate them, thank god. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Briela
05-10-2003, 08:59 PM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I was LOL from number 1 and tried to keep a running tally of which I liked best, but one was as good or better than the next. These are just great. Hope you don\'t mind if I use a few. I work around people smart assed enough to appreciate them, thank god. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

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Feel free. I have no rights to them, a friend sent them to me. Like you, I couldn\'t decide which I liked best! They\'re all pretty good /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

**DONOTDELETE**
05-11-2003, 06:38 AM
12, 21, 22, 23, 26 ... pretty much what goes through my mind when one of the guys I work with shows up at my desk ...


Ever work with one of those people who stands in front of you and rambles endlessly ... after a good 5 minutes of listening to what the problem is, you STILL don\'t have any instruction regarding it. It\'s all I can do not to come out with \"and I care because ... why?\" or \"So, what are you gonna do about it?\" Drives me nuts. I so wish he would think about what he wants before he comes to me and just tell me what that might be, in 25 words or less. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Briela
05-12-2003, 06:37 PM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />

Ever work with one of those people who stands in front of you and rambles endlessly ... after a good 5 minutes of listening to what the problem is, you STILL don\'t have any instruction regarding it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


I can absolutely relate...it\'s ALL I work with! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Somewhere I have a hard copy of a classic \"what they say/what it really means\". If I can find it, I\'ll post it. It\'s extremely handy.