Has anyone tried to preserve their own earwax?

[EXIT63]

or clit smegma?

[Elana]

Yes....I keep them in an old Ketchup bottle.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I mix a little toe jam in with mine.

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Yes....I keep them in an old Ketchup bottle.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Could you be a little more specific. What brand of old ketchup do you use. Those bottles have different size openings. When applying your earwax, do you squeeze the bottle or remove the cap and spoon it out with a popsicle stick?

One more quick question. Do you think there\'s a difference between old ketchup bottles and old catsup bottles?

[Elana]

I use the new ketchup bottle style. I like to use one of those sticks that you get from a corndog. That way I always get the same amount. I have used both Heinz and a generic brand. They both worked well, but I am currently using the Heinz. I will try to come up with a pie chart soon so you don\'t have to guess at measurements.

[Xehupatl]

I usually have a mix of old toejam : smegma : earwax = 3:4:2 but then I realized that I was going too heavy on the smegma because there\'s 0.04 mg of somethingorother in that and you only need 0.004 mg LOL what was I thinking!
So then I read the thread about sweat and so I made a mix called XX#1 which is 20% toejam, 10% smegma, 30% earwax and 40% sweat and I have to shake it alot and keep it in a ketchup bottle but the cap fell off and I spilled it all over the floor OMG! But my cat got really horny I don\'t know about humans because I don\'T go around with that on me because the verdict\'s still out on whether I should wear it on the upper lip or behind the left or right ear or on my balls. But I think it should work.
Tomorrow I\'m making another mix but I\'m all out of smegma and my ears are bleeding OMG XBOX LOL!

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I will try to come up with a pie chart soon so you don\'t have to guess at measurements.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Great, perhaps we could post it on the Earwax Reference Material page.

By the way, do you have a name for your earwax mix?

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
By the way, do you have a name for your earwax mix?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Light a candle Mix 44

[EXIT63]

Hey Xehupatl, what was in your mix again?

It would be great if you could post some hit stories.
Keep on experimenting, you may be on to something.

Just a suggestion, maybe you could add 1 or 2 dibs of deer puss to your mix.

[Elana]

He listed a great hit story. His cat loved it!

[Xehupatl]

Yeah well I just read about the Phi ratio so I\'m gonna have to throw all my old mixes away because the next one I\'m making will be much more potent ... you know because of the PHI!


THE PHIIII!I!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

[Elana]

You really need to try out LAC mix #44. This stuff has guys beating off as soon as they walk by me.

[Xehupatl]

Yeah well if there\'s no smegma in there forget it!

[Xehupatl]

But does your mix, by chance, involve two rather large holes cut into a t-shirt? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Elana]

Yes.....how did you know?

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You really need to try out LAC mix #44. This stuff has guys beating off as soon as they walk by me

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I\'m sure that happens without the mix! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Xehupatl]

I\'ve been watching you again lately!
bruahahahah there is no escape!

I think my next mix will actually make hot women from several miles away flock to my house and beg me to inseminate them ...

If it doesn\'t I\'m just going to have to continue to create mixes until they do! Remember that thing with Edison? He had 5000 failed attempts before he invented the lightbulb, you know!

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I\'m sure that happens without the mix!

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Exit....was that you? You owe me $80.00 for a ruined pair of shoes. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif

[EXIT63]

Not me babe, mine would\'ve hit you right between the eyes...from 30 paces! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[TBiRD]

With so many mixes around : WHAT is the BEST MIX ??? Muahahahahah

I\'m young and looking to attract flys.

hrhrhr

and : Oh does earwax REALLY work...????

+

What ARE the secret ingredients in ELANAS clit smegma ???



Damn... MAKE THIS A STICKY ONE !!!!!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Well, I\'ve got big news for you, boy, do I ever. SEBUM. Which is what blackheads are made of, actually.
But I have it on really good authority (a sportswriter from a high school newspaper) that it makes you really hot.

\"So, if you are looking for a good aphrodisiac, you need look no further than good old sebum.\"

Yup. Scrape off that Biore strip into the ketchup bottle and mix that up. That\'ll work.

[monesrule]

i hope you were not refering to me when you said sportswriter. I have never vouched for any of those substances, but am interested in seeing what they do.

Secondly, if you were trying to take a shot at me, I do not write for some high school paper. Nope. ESPN, USA Today, Fox Sports, Yahoo, LA Times, too many to name.

So what\'s your story? A secretary nowadays? You get fired for trying to rape 15 year old english students?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Testy today, are we? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[monesrule]

what the cheap shots skirt

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m sorry, I didn\'t quite get that ...

[Xehupatl]

break it up, ladies!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Exit, too?

[Skyy]

I have tons of Biore here, but i dout im bored enuff to try out new things ... to much going on lately...cat poop, deer lure and now this ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m surprised nobody\'s brought up the pig mones.

[upsidedown]

Xehupatl

If you really want to get out the word about your new XX#1 mix, you have to make sure you tell us about it over and over and over..... Start a new thread about it....make sure you hijack other people\'s threads and find some way to promote your mix on there, over and over and over.

You\'ve got to promote it in your signature....you need to promote it in both the men\'s and women\'s forums.

Only when Elana threatens you about posting it too much will you know that you\'ve adequately promoted your new XX#1 mix. Keep up the nice work!

[Elana]

What upsets me, is that I have actually tried out LAC mix #44 twice. I had some major reactions. One guy threw a brick at my head and another completely turned away from me as I walked past him. Then of course there have been lots of men jacking off as I walk past them when they are standing looking in a window of some sex shop place. My stuff has been tested and it works. XX mix has never once been tested except by a cat.

[Xehupatl]

well I can tell you after a whiff of XX#1 that sure was one horney cat!

[Xehupatl]

by the way here\'s my XX#1 mix:

20% toejam,
10% smegma,
30% earwax and
40% sweat

just mix it up good

[Xehupatl]

oh, did I mention what my XX#1 mix consists of? no? here it is:

20% toejam,
10% smegma,
30% earwax and
40% sweat

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Mix it up good with what? Colon? I here if you put a really good colon with it, that works to.

[Xehupatl]

Yae I think thats my micxses week point there. I havnt desided what two micx it with yet.
Maybe yuo can point me two a good sight for that.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Good sites are hear, their, and everywear for that, I think.

[Xehupatl]

ROFL!

I just love woman with red hare!

[Mtnjim]

DrSmellthis, 7/24/02:

\"I do, but then again I\'ll smell anything. Ear wax is like human musk. I freak women out when they ask me to make them a perfume I tell them I need to spend a few minutes smelling their armpits to get their pheromone signature.\"

[Xehupatl]

um ... good point there, Mtnjim /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I bet he smells their smegma, too, if they\'ll let him. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Xehupatl]

yeah but I\'d still be nicer than digging for toejam /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh, I dunno. I could go for a little toe action ...

[Xehupatl]

oh .. for some raisin I don\'T feel so good right now ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[upsidedown]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
What upsets me, is that I have actually tried out LAC mix #44 twice. . . . My stuff has been tested and it works. XX mix has never once been tested except by a cat. (QueenBee Elana)

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Sorry Elana. My oversight. What I said about promoting XX applies to LAC #44 as well. You need to promote it more. Maybe if you ask Watcher really nicely, he\'ll promote it for you instead of his mix.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh, gosh. Now I don\'t feel so well ...

[Xehupatl]

Maybe I just need to apply a bit of XX#1 mix, it\'s an excellent painkiller, cures cancer, and makes PMS-symptoms dissappear (but only in the rain)

so you\'re asking: What the hell does XX#1 consist of?
here you go (you asked for it!)

XX#1:
20% toejam,
10% smegma,
30% earwax and
40% sweat

[**DONOTDELETE**]

ROFL

[Xehupatl]

I here laughing /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Their is lafter everywear if you just lissen for it.

[Xehupatl]

two bee or knot two bee
that is teh kwetschkin!

[Xehupatl]

Eye here know lafter inn this rum