View Full Version : G-d and the Jewish Blonde
seadove
04-28-2003, 12:15 AM
A Jewish blond woman named Estee found herself in deep trouble.Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial concern. She was so desperate that she decided to go to the Wailing Wall and ask G-d for help. She began to pray.
\"G-d, please help me. I\'ve lost my business and if I don\'t
get some money, I\'m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.\" Lotto night came and somebody else won. Estee went to the Wailing Wall again and prayed.
\"G-d, please let me win the lotto! I\'ve lost my business, my house, and I\'m going to lose my car as well.\"
Lotto night came and Estee still had no luck. Once again
she went and prayed \"My G-d, why have you forsaken me? I\'ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don\'t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me
win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.\"
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens
opened, and Estee was confronted by the voice of G-d Himself.
\"Estee, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.\"
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EXIT63
04-28-2003, 03:42 AM
I find that highly offensive!
seadove
04-28-2003, 03:44 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I find that highly offensive!
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
Why?
Are you Estee?
Or G-d?
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
franki
04-28-2003, 03:58 AM
Maybe he is jewish ...
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:07 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Maybe he is jewish ...
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
So what?That\'s not a sin and I can\'t hold it against him. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
By the way, I have posted another blonde joke before but I found it really offensive so I struck it out.
But if a moderator and at least one blonde will come up and reassure me, I will definately post it.
If you want, I\'ll PM you on this.How\'s that? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
franki
04-28-2003, 04:09 AM
Oh yeah, you can PM me and Elana and if we agree on it, you are allowed to post the joke ..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:13 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Oh yeah, you can PM me and Elana and if we agree on it, you are allowed to post the joke .....
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
How would you know if Elana would want to be the royal food taster?
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
franki
04-28-2003, 04:15 AM
I can feel it. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:19 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I can feel it.
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
Oh well ok, But if she gets angry at me you\'ll feel something else from me! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Hang on, I\'ll PM you.
Elana
04-28-2003, 04:20 AM
It tastes fine. You can keep it.
franki
04-28-2003, 04:23 AM
Yeah, that picture is funny and looks OK to me. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:24 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
It tastes fine. You can keep it.
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
Now see what you\'ve done Franki?
Now Elana will never speak to me again.
Then I\'ll suffer from \"Blonde Deffeciency\" in my blood.
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
franki
04-28-2003, 04:26 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
It tastes fine. You can keep it.
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
I don\'t understand it either Seadove. I would think Elana would want to have more and more of it if it tastes fine .. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Elana
04-28-2003, 04:27 AM
Are you both drunk?
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:30 AM
No!She\'s scolding me now and all because of you!!This joke was too offensive!
franki
04-28-2003, 04:44 AM
BUSTED!
She didn\'t even see the joke! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Elana
04-28-2003, 04:48 AM
You guys are such babies /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
http://www.webpresspro.com/funnyfarm/how_blondes_eat_bananas.htm (\"http://www.webpresspro.com/funnyfarm/how_blondes_eat_bananas.htm\")
seadove
04-28-2003, 04:53 AM
Now I\'m offended !
I\'m hurt and deprived of my unique taste for blonde women.
Will somebody apologise to me please?
Thank You!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif
franki
04-28-2003, 04:56 AM
Ok, I apologize for being an [bad word] ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
seadove
04-28-2003, 05:00 AM
Not enough.
Stand in the corner and write down 50 times:
Seadove is a WAGG /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
seadove
04-28-2003, 05:45 AM
Post deleted by seadove now that Franki deleted his.
Briela
04-28-2003, 02:22 PM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
By the way, I have posted another blonde joke before but I found it really offensive so I struck it out.
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
Don\'t know why that would cause any concern at all. It\'s a really old one!
upsidedown
04-28-2003, 06:24 PM
I\'m really offended by all these people who are so easily offended! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
franki
11-28-2003, 06:45 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
A Jewish blond woman named Estee found herself in
deep trouble.Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial concern. She was so desperate that she
decided to go to the Wailing Wall and ask G-d for help. She began to pray.
\"G-d, please help me. I\'ve lost
my business and if I don\'t
get some money, I\'m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the
lotto.\" Lotto night came and somebody else won. Estee went to the Wailing Wall again and prayed.
\"G-d,
please let me win the lotto! I\'ve lost my business, my house, and I\'m going to lose my car as
well.\"
Lotto night came and Estee still had no luck. Once again
she went and prayed \"My G-d, why have you
forsaken me? I\'ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don\'t often ask you
for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me
win the lotto this one time so I can get
my life back in order.\"
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens
opened, and Estee was
confronted by the voice of G-d Himself.
\"Estee, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.\"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
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Elana
11-28-2003, 01:42 PM
It was stupid
the first time, and guess what? It\'s still stupid. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Pancho1188
11-28-2003, 07:57 PM
Hey,
I\'m blonde, and all I have to say is THANK DUMB I\'M NOT GOD!!!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
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/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Holmes
11-30-2003, 10:58 AM
I\'m
a god. I\'m not the God.
Holmes
Pancho1188
11-30-2003, 06:14 PM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I\'m a god. I\'m not the
God.
Holmes
<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
Bill Murray
Groundhog
Day
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Holmes
11-30-2003, 06:22 PM
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif You don\'t miss a trick.
Holmes
Bruce
12-02-2003, 02:23 PM
Great movie.
I bought the tape a while back and have most of the lines memorized I think.
\"Don\'t hit your sister.
Don\'t
talk in class.
and... oh yeah..
Don\'t drive on the railroad tracks.\"
swerves onto the tracks...
dadadadadadada
Quiz question: What does Murray say to the cops when they pull him over after the joy
ride?
Bruce
Holmes
12-02-2003, 02:37 PM
Something
like:
PHIL: Let me handle this. Yeah, I\'ll have a cheeseburger, large fries, and a chocolate
shake...
DRUNK GUY: Annnnnd FLAPJACKS!
PHIL: Is it too early for flapjacks?
Don\'t remember
exactly, though.
Holmes
Bruce
12-03-2003, 07:39 AM
Very good.
That\'s the gist of it.
Bruce
Pancho1188
12-03-2003, 08:26 AM
I\'M
NOT GONNA PLAY BY THEIR RULES ANYMORE!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Holmes
12-03-2003, 08:38 AM
\"What
about the satellites? Is it snowing in space?\"
\"Quit staring, Larry. These are excellent.\"
Holmes
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