PDA

View Full Version : Ok you twisted my arm- more blonde jokes.



seadove
04-26-2003, 10:14 PM
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10¢ a screw!

Q: What is a blonde\'s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!

Q: What did the blonde\'s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They\'ve never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: What\'s the mating call of the blonde?
A: \"I\'m *sooo* drunk!\"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) \"I said: I\'m drunk!\"

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: What\'s a brunette\'s mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: \"All the blondes have gone home!\"

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won\'t give in?
A: \"Have another beer.\"

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: What\'s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don\'t lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What\'s the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don\'t let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and \"The Titanic\"?
A: They know how many men went down on \"The Titanic\".

Q: What\'s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: How can you tell who is a blonde\'s boyfriend?
A: He\'s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don\'t know.
R: Neither did she.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why did they call the blonde \"twinkie\"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that \"love handles\" referred to her ears?

Q: What\'s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, \"Cock\'ll-doodl-doooo\", while a blonde says, \"Any-cock\'ll-doooo.\"

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only \'had\' 10000 men.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn\'t get Hearing Aides.

Q: What\'s the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, \"Aren\'t you done yet?\"
The nympho says, \"Are you done already?\"
The blonde says, \"Beige...I think I\'ll paint the ceiling beige.\"

Q: What\'s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.

Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That\'s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.

... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan \"Billions Served - just today\"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

phersurf
04-28-2003, 03:13 PM
This blind guy goes into a bar and taps his way to the bartender and orders a beer. On getting the beer he asks the bartender if he wants to hear a blond joke.

The guy next to him taps him on the shoulder and says \" Hey budy, the bartender is an ex prize fighter and he\'s blond. The guy to you right is 6\'4\" and 250 lbs and is a professional wrestler and he\'e blond. I\'m a bodybuilder and so is my girlfriend and we are we are both blond. Are you you sure you really want to tell that joke?!\"

The blind guy says, \"maybe your right, I don\'t want to have to explain it 4 times\".