New Pheromone Product

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I just came up with a new pheromone product that will make you smell like dick and balls. I thought that I would market it to women because if they smell like dick and balls, men who secretly have bi fantasies would be attracted to the female. I think this idea is brilliant. What do you think? Please be honest...

[franki]

That idea sucks d/ck ...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m sure you\'re wrong. You just don\'t understand. You see, if the woman has on the dick and balls pheromone, then that is like she is a wolf in sheep\'s clothing. The guys will let her watch football with them and stuff, and tell dirty jokes. Maybe even hold the remote. And then eventually she could probably have sex with them.

[Elana]

You just may be on to something. I would purchase this product. Where would you apply it? Would you put the dick and balls formula on your crotch area? Wouldn\'t this be a bit confusing to the man sniffing it?

[belgareth]

If nothing else, she\'ll get her butt patted more often. Just like in football, right? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Elana]

OK....so the man would smell the dick and balls scent on the woman and then he would feel like he has the best of both worlds. A threesome with a man and woman without the guilt of him being gay. Brilliant!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You just may be on to something. I would purchase this product. Where would you apply it? Would you put the dick and balls formula on your crotch area? Wouldn\'t this be a bit confusing to the man sniffing it?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

No, because, you see, although this IS the dick and balls pheromone, and guys can use it to make like they have bigger dicks and balls -- when women wear it, it means whatever they want it to mean.

I say it means that men will go wild for you because it will make them think a) you\'re a MAN, Baybee! (and you know men are mostly bi) or 2) hm. I sure would like to s*ck some d/ck. This thought is making me horny. I\'ll take it out on this woman here.

[Elana]

This must really work, because it is on the internet

[Elana]

If the woman was wearing it, would it appear that she has a big dick?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

And the more you say it, the truer it becomes, of course.

[EXIT63]

I think the dick and ball pheros should be separate products. And they should come in male and female versions. It would be a perfect solution for all the dicks out there who don\'t have any balls! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Elana]

You mean one formula called balls and one called dicks?

[EXIT63]

Correct

[Elana]

Does it work on female Iraqi\'s?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

No, no, no. *sigh* Have I taught you NOTHING?

Look.

It\'s the dick and balls pheromone, right? And it was made for the guys to wear so it will seem like they have bigger dick and balls.

But when us WOMEN put it on? Well. Then it morphs into whatever we SAY it is.

And besides, even though it smells like dick and balls to women, it doesn\'t smell like that when WE WEAR it. At least, not so you\'d notice. Well. I mean. You would notice, right? But you wouldn\'t actually notice. Not at a conscious level. Although your actions would be conscious. But it\'s not so much that you\'re smelling dick and balls, as that you\'re ... um. Well. You\'re sensing it. But you don\'t know it\'s dick and balls. But you act like it\'s dick and balls. Are you feeling me?

I mean, it\'s like, a subliminal thing.

[EXIT63]

I find that highly offensive!

Remember the sex strap. We could modify it to become a burka strap. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Elana]

You are brilliant. Just say it a few more times so I know it is really true.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thank you, thank you.

You are brilliant too.

I\'d like to suck your dick.

Put your Dick and Balls on and let\'s go get some guys, what do you say? They won\'t be able to resist us with this stuff on.

[EXIT63]

Hey, it\'s on the internet. It must be true.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hm. Now I\'m thinking about separating the formulas, dick from balls ... you know, one of the things that makes balls smell like they smell is that there\'s semen in them ... and semen ... well, egg white is like semen. Same-same.

So, I think if you put egg white on your face? Like, do an egg white and saline solution masque before you go out on the prowl for cock? That should increase your chances.

Because, like, they\'ll smell ... uh ... not smell ... uh....sense .... dick and balls ... NO, wait, NOT dick and balls. Whatever I say it is.

That\'s what.

Whatever I say it is, that\'s what they\'ll sense.

Just put the egg white on.

Ok, now we\'ve really got a formula going on. I think this is gonna get us laid really good.

[EXIT63]

Are you sure a mens version wouldn\'t be effective. I mean, your argument is obviously flawed. I believe the 2 would be mutually exclusive. And I do know quite a bit about this stuff having read the forum for 4 or 5 weeks now. I think you should reconsider.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I think you should stop arguing with me and get with the program. What makes you think you know anything anyway. Don\'t make me pm you with a scolding.

It is what I say it is. What they said it was when you bought it?

It\'s that if you wear it.

If I wear it, it does whatever I think it does.

We\'re on page 6 of the Believe What I Tell You Pheromone Manual. C\'mon now Exit. Read along.

[EXIT63]

Ummm, my dog ate my homework.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Don\'t you think you would be really turned on if a woman was around you and she had on Eau de Dick and Balls?

Because either you would think she was one of the guys and pat her on the butt, or your bi side would be activated and you would get all horny and take it out on her.

I have thought about this for a long time and it is logical so I am sure it is true.

[Mtnjim]

Women should be wearing D \'n B for the \"social proof\" that it provides. The scent that she has been \"with\" another man will stir up competition in the man she wants to attract.

[EXIT63]

Ya know, after further consideration. I don\'t think I want my women to smell like dick and balls.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

!!

Brilliant! That is brilliant! Did you make that up out of your own head? Or have you read that in other places on the internet?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Well, Exit, that\'s fascinating. But the fact is, we\'re not interested in the feelings of the men or about what the men say that men think. Just because you\'re male, is that why you think you can say anything about what males want or like? pffffft

Please.

And besides, I keep telling you -- it\'s not so we SMELL like dick and balls! Even though the product does indeed smell like dick and balls.

It\'s so you start thinking about dick and balls,
or else, um ...
you\'ll think I\'m thinking about dick and balls so I must be really hot,
or else
somebody just came all over me and I\'m such a slut I didn\'t even wash before I came out to meet you,
or
I\'m a tranny.

I\'m sorry, what did you say?

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I\'m sorry, what did you say?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I don\'t remember. Something about smelling like dick and balls.

[Cloud9]

\"most guys are Bi or Homos\"?????? I don\'t think so, I get disgusted when i think of a man in that way. The only way I could kiss a guy was if I was paid and it was like Tom Cruise.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Don\'t confuse me with the facts. I\'m working out a theory here.

And you know, YOU may not be homo, ok? But all the guys I know are homo. Even if they say they\'re not. And I like them like that? So shut up.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Ok, ok, look.

You put on Dick and Balls, and it makes everybody think you\'ve got a big ol\' hairy dick and balls, right?

So the women wet their panties about it.

So if the women wet their panties about it when they think you have a big ol hairy dick and balls, then

why not just skip the middle man?

Let the women put the Dick and Balls on.

That will make the men think we have juicy pussies.

Don\'t ask me questions because I won\'t answer you anyway.

Not even if you post them in the main forum.

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
And you know, YOU may not be homo, ok? But all the guys I know are homo. Even if they say they\'re not. And I like them like that? So shut up.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Yeah!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Elana, I am pretty sure they\'ll let us sit with them and at least TOUCH the remote. I tried it once? And some guy across the room said \"remote.\" HE DID! No, I\'m not kidding. See? It was on his mind. I made him think that because of the Dick and Balls pheromones I had on.

[EXIT63]

Ya know Red, I think you\'re way off base. Women should not smell like dick and balls. Only men should smell like big hairy dicks and balls. Which is why I think the mens version would work. It would help all the guys with big hairy dicks that don\'t have any balls.


Ok, lets review. Women should smell like women. And men should smell like big hairy dicks and balls!

Got it!?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Who asked you to talk?

[Elana]

What about actually being allowed to sit with them and watch a game? Can it work for that, or do I have to keep cooking for him and his friends when the game is on? I\'m pushing it, aren\'t I?

[EXIT63]

I\'m confused. I don\'t understand how come it makes people think a GUY has a big dick and balls if a guy wears it, but doesn\'t make people think a WOMAN has a big dick and balls if a WOMAN wears it.

And don\'t tell me to shut up!

[Elana]

Yes, please explain

[**DONOTDELETE**]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I\'m confused. I don\'t understand how come it makes people think a GUY has a big dick and balls if a guy wears it, but doesn\'t make people think a WOMAN has a big dick and balls if a WOMAN wears it.

And don\'t tell me to shut up!

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

&lt;fingers in my ears, eyes squeezed tight shut&gt;

La la la la la la la! Tra la la la la!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I\'m confused. I don\'t understand how come it makes people think a GUY has a big dick and balls if a guy wears it, but doesn\'t make people think a WOMAN has a big dick and balls if a WOMAN wears it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Because I SAID so.

Besides. You need to work on your denial issues about the homo thing.

I know about you and the Black Leather Elvis fantasy. Don\'t think I don\'t. All the guys I know would suck his dick.
So just be honest.

And if you can\'t follow the scientifical research being done here, just ...

go down to your forum and stay there, stoopit.

(Elana. They\'re SO gay...)

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />

&lt;fingers in my ears, eyes squeezed tight shut&gt;

La la la la la la la! Tra la la la la

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

That\'s the problem with you women. You don\'t listen.

Just goes to show that men who smell like big hairy dicks and balls are smarter than women who smell like big hairy dicks and balls ever time!

Now you shut up before I shut you up by jamming my big hariry dick in your mouth!

[Cloud9]

more like little hairless penis. I don\'t think BIG HAIRY DICK AND BALL spray will work for Fulltiltredhead because she has a lot of vaginal secretions going on.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

MEN SPRING WOODIES FOR WOMEN WHO WEAR EAU DE DICK AND BALLS!


You\'re just being tedious with these near fanatical objections. You know what? If you keep on arguing with me, I\'m gonna just start up a whole new thread on the same subject, so there.

Elana. I think probably continue to cook for them until at least half time. Then refresh the Eau de Dick and Balls and maybe they\'ll give you a titty squeeze or something, if you\'re really nice.

(Stump water. Do you think stump water would work? Because spiders swim in stump water, and spiders are like women, like - OH! Like Black Widow Woman, how she can have multiple orgasms? And then we could put the stump water on, and then the guys would have multiple orgasms! YEAH!)

[Cloud9]

what the hell! \"Stump water\" you would just smell like you fell into a swimming pool of double expresso.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

!
You know, you\'re getting to be a real pill.

Don\'t make me have to explain this to you all over again.

[EXIT63]

I AM NOT GAY.
I have never bengay
And I never will be gay.

You just wish you had a Real Man like me. Just remember, you may smell like big hairy dicks and balls. But I have a big hairy dick and balls.

And besides, one towel snapping incident in the boys locker room does not make a person gay.

Now Shut Up.

Beeotch

[Cloud9]

You shall hereby be vaginally discharged by the love-scent forum staff hands!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I AM NOT GAY.
I have never bengay
And I never will be gay.

You just wish you had a Real Man like me. Just remember, you may smell like big hairy dicks and balls. But I have a big hairy dick and balls.

And besides, one towel snapping incident in the boys locker room does not make a person gay.

Now Shut Up.

Beeotch

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


<font color=\"pink\">Homo says what?</font>

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I think probably continue to cook for them until at least half time. Then refresh the Eau de Dick and Balls and maybe they\'ll give you a titty squeeze or something, if you\'re really nice.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

This stuff could change my life! Thanks FTR! Thanks for sharing Eau De Dick and Balls with us lonely females, just wanting to smell like a big hairy cock. Finally.....and it is so simple. How many dabs and drops should I use to smell like a big hairy cock?

[Cloud9]

which pain relief product starts with \"Ben\"....\"Ben Gay\". How long?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I want a real man like you, yeah.

But ... you\'re telling me I should do something that might actually APPEAL to you?

Do you not see that this is too easy??

And besides...

if I was actually approached by a Real Man ...

um...

It\'s never happened? so I\'m not real sure what I\'d do.

Wait a minute. Let me look in the fukdembastids manual. Anybody download that and can pass me a bootleg version?

I\'m here to tell you that I wore Dick and Balls to a sports club and two gay guys got one whiff of me and started kissing each other.

Now.

Don\'t tell me it doesn\'t work.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Finally we\'re getting somewhere.

Well, lemme tell ya. When I went to the sports bar and the guys all started making out with each other the second I walked in? (because that\'s the true sign of love and affection)

I had one dib on each nipple, and a dab on my cooter.

Now, you try that and just see. I know what I\'m talking about.

[Elana]

How big is a dib? Is it bigger than a dab? Should I use one dib and one dab? Will two dibs equal one dab therefore making the correct amount four dibs to equal 2 dabs?

[EXIT63]

What?

[Cloud9]

LOL, well shlT give me some BIG DICK AND BALL spray please.

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
LOL, well shlT give me some BIG DICK AND BALL spray please.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

If it is a spray than how many squirts equal a dab?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
How big is a dib? Is it bigger than a dab? Should I use one dib and one dab? Will two dibs equal one dab therefore making the correct amount four dibs to equal 2 dabs?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


It depends entirely on the size of your dibber and you can\'t forget to take into account the width of your dabber, either.

Or the surface tension of the water in the birdbath in the backyard, which rises in proportion to the propinquity of the congruent proximity. Or the square root of that. Whichever comes first.

If you see what I\'m saying.

Of course, your mileage may vary.

[Elana]

Thanks for the clear instructions. I will get some measuring devises so I can be exact with my dibs and dabs.

[Cloud9]

LOL, How the hell do you factor in the dang bird crap in the bird bath?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

That\'s a really good question.

Because when you get the indole in the mix, it has to be just right.

I just put the bird crap on my hair. It makes it smell really natural, and that\'s a turn on.

Also make sure you don\'t bathe for at least three days. You can rinse off a little if you must.

[Cloud9]

Ok, will do

[**DONOTDELETE**]

And if you have any bad results with this, or no results at all?

Here\'s a quarter so you can call some body who wants to hear that sh!t.

Me and Elana, we\'re wearin\' it.

[EXIT63]

Sorry, just woke up from my nap.

You know. I really resent the fact that you think all men are bi. It\'s just not true. We have big hairy dicks and balls. And they smell like big hairy dicks and balls. And we know how to use our big hairy dicks and balls. REAL MEN use their big hairy dicks and balls on women. Not on other men. Those guys are homos and I don\'t wanna see that sh!t.

I reiterate, 1 sword fight in the 1st grade does not make a man gay.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh, for God\'s sake, stop making sense.

[EXIT63]

Epilogue

Well, I just received my shipment of big hairy dicks and balls pheremone. I tried it out and I gotta say. I kinda like it. Not at first though. At first it was kind of painful. But now that I\'m used to big hairy dicks and balls. I don\'t think I\'ll ever go back to anything else. Thanx Big hairy dicks and balls.


That\'s my story.
Please don\'t hate me for what I\'ve become.

A lover of big hairy dicks and balls!

[seadove]

Dick n\' balls eh?


Yea I give I give.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Cloud9]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />


You know. I really resent the fact that you think all men are bi. It\'s just not true. We have big hairy dicks and balls. And they smell like big hairy dicks and balls. And we know how to use our big hairy dicks and balls. REAL MEN use their big hairy dicks and balls on women. Not on other men. Those guys are homos and I don\'t wanna see that sh!t.




<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
EXIT63,
This comment has much bigotry, this post just needs to be deleted.

[Briela]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
MEN SPRING WOODIES FOR WOMEN WHO WEAR EAU DE DICK AND BALLS!

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

FTR are you providing samples? The product is so new you must be using beta testers... do they happen to consist of large membered men for us to rub all over bodies? If so, send me two samples please! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[seadove]

www.dick\'nballs.com

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

for samples please contact:

wendy@dick\'nballs.com (\"wendy@dick\'nballs.com\")

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[DrSmellThis]

How \'bout \"Dick, Balls and Brains\"?

That\'s the phero y\'all need to be like us -- smell like you know something, like \"essence of library\".



/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[EXIT63]

Ya know Doc,

Red worked her ass off to write this thread (with considerable input from Elana and myself). And nobody even got it. Since no one has acknowledged her considerable effort and obvious comedic skill, I have taken it upon myself to create and bestow this high honor upon her.

The 1st Annual Love-Scent Comedy Award Trophy is awarded to the forum member who has contributed so much. Who has such a great sense of humor. Who has endured so much nitwit-ism. Who has worked tirelessly to further the cause and who gives the meanest blow job inside or outside the I-495 loop (or so I\'ve heard).

Come on up here Red and accept your award!!! (Carol Burnett theme plays).

[Elana]

Why do you get to hand her the award? I want to give it to her.

[upsidedown]

I\'m afraid to ask what the award looks like!

[Elana]

This is the award http://www.bettydodson.com/bouquet2.htm (\"http://www.bettydodson.com/bouquet2.htm\")

[Whitehall]

Actually, the taste in humor displayed in this thread is rather degenerate.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Actually, the lack of humor displayed in your post is rather unfortunate.

[Elana]

This is a tough crowd! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

FTR- On occasion, I may want to borrow your award.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Which award might that be?

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Which award might that be?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Scroll a few posts up. I showed a picture of the award that Exit wants to present to you.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh, my.

Exit, thank you so much for your acknowledgements. You\'re a gentleman and a scholar.

And Elana ... I think there\'s enough of that award to go around, so to speak ...

[Lucky]

Actually, the taste in humor displayed in this thread is rather degenerate.

Actually, the lack of humor displayed in your post is rather unfortunate.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
You two are Tit for Tat

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Whitehall and I have a perfect sun/moon conjunction - 7 degrees of Capricorn. sun/moon - tit/tat ...

[seadove]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Whitehall:Actually, the taste in humor displayed in this thread is rather degenerate.


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I would give a million bucks to see Whitehall smiling, \"in person\".

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[Bruce]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Whitehall:Actually, the taste in humor displayed in this thread is rather degenerate.


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I would give a million bucks to see Whitehall smiling, \"in person\".

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I have photos /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

B

[seadove]

And he was actually smiling? Or explaining a theory with his fluent \"Charles Dickens\" style language?

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif