Oprah & Controlling Relationships

[xxxPantero]

oh man...

the other night oprah did a show on controlling relationships...
i am, according to her, a dangerous person

1) i am overly possessive/jealous
2) i have a temper
3) although i haven\'t hit her, i have gotten physical in an angry way (shaking, yelling... before you crucify me, let me mention that my gf said it had turned her on at the time and that time we ended up having some seriously animalistic sex)
4) i isolate her from her friends and family

in my defense...
1) i am working on not being so possessive and jealous
2) ohman, i don\'t know about this temper... but i\'ve found outlets
3) no roughing with her
4) she has isolated me too, although i\'m attempting to change this dynamic

and this is the girl i\'m having so many sex problems with... so why do i stay? i\'m either stubborn, comfortable, attached, committed, stupid, or a mixture of all

[Watcher]

From a personality generalisation point of view, why men get possessive/jealous is because we are designed to make sure our female mates dont get distracted by another man and go off, we are always on guard, because remember women cant be trusted, if they feel horny and we aint around they will 90% end up [bad word] another guy, this is natures way of balancing out female permiscuity by making sure she doesnt have time to think about another guy.
So xxxpantero a thought i had was that perhaps this is what the problem is, is that you are just making sure that she doesnt end up with another guy. Hey nothing wrong with that, just gotta control that aggression a bit you should be fine.
Just realise that if she does cheat at all, you can dump her ass, use the pheromones to find someone else.

[xxxPantero]

well, that\'s why i feel bad...

she\'s very very loyal, she would never do anything as far as cheating, and she never keeps anything under the rug.
i on the other hand am the opposite. maybe i fear karma.

yeah i see what you\'re saying, tho, and i\'ve skimmed a book called \"The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as necessary as love and sex in a relationship\"
it backs up what you\'re saying, basically

but sometimes it gets out of hand. i didn\'t even want her to talk to friends who i knew and got along with. it\'s a weird relationship. just like everyone elses.
she got jealous of my family members, too!

she and i are sometimes so perfect for each other, and sometimes the worst match in the world
and that status doesn\'t always depend on whether we\'re happy or not - sometimes when we are fighting it\'s clear we are a good match lol

anyway...
i might probably dump her anyway, if i don\'t get dumped first. right now i am not looking for any other relationships. i changed my mind - i want to concentrate on myself. my phrase to describe myself is:

Single in mind, separated in heart, taken in reality.

not looking for relationships, but not denying them either.

35% of the time i am grateful for this girl, 10% i am in complete head over heels (and these aren\'t when we have sex... necessarily)
but i don\'t want to settle for a 10% relationship.

i don\'t think i\'ll ever find the \"love of my life\" in a person. except maybe my mom who i don\'t want to be around, but i still love. although i did tell my parents i don\'t feel like going on a family trip unless my gf comes along with me. and that\'s was just because i believe it won\'t mean much unless debbie comes along. but then sometimes i DON\'T want to be around her... messed up ain\'t it.

anyway thanx watcher.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Ok, Watcher, then why are women jealous?

[Xehupatl]

are we going to have to \"watch out\" for another watcherism (pun intended)? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

okay I\'ll go now ....
oh yeah ... OPRAH SUCKS!