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View Full Version : A LITTLE MALE BASHING



seadove
04-15-2003, 12:17 AM
A little male bashing especially for you girls. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Enjoy. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don\'t women blink during foreplay?
A: They don\'t have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won\'t stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can\'t mow the lawn.

Q: Why don\'t women have men\'s brains?
A: Because they don\'t have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They\'re intended for children, but it\'s the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It\'s sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won\'t hump women\'s legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man\'s pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn\'t happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What\'s a man\'s idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He\'s breathing

Q: What\'s the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don\'t know. It\'s never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man\'s idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

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Xehupatl
04-15-2003, 04:24 AM
I AM OUTRAGED! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif
no wait ... that\'s not it .. I haven\'t been sleeping all night .. yeah ,, that\'s it ... uh.. where was i ..

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

shouldn\'t it be: \"A: They are both empty from the neck up.\" ?

mwahahahaha no tobacco and no sleep make xehu go something something ...

seadove
04-15-2003, 04:32 AM
I know that feeling. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif\\

Go drink a cup of coffee, and on top of that a Carlsberg with some sugar in it to alter your blood mixture.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Xehupatl
04-15-2003, 10:49 AM
dude where am I gonna get Carlsberg right now? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I\'ll take the easy way out for now after 48 hours without sleep and just take 6mg of melatonin and go to sleep right not (it\'s not even 9pm)