Andy's Laughathlon

[Andy]

Ok ... here are some jokes ... not of the funny kind ... hell I don\'t know why I am posting this anyway, but beware ... this won\'t be the only ones ...

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Christmas time ... Peter and Paul are sitting under the christmas tree, peter is sitting right in front of a huge pile of gifts, paul is sitting in front of a few small gifts.

Peter to Paul: \"May it be that our parents love me more than you?\"

Paul to Peter \"May it be that you have cancer?\"

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The evil little pig meets a good faery in the woods ...

Faery: \"Now little pig, I\'ll grant you two wishes.\"

Pig: \"Do you see this tree over there?\"

Faery: \"Sure\"

Pig: \"Place a nail in it that no power in the whole world can pull out\"

Faery: \"That\'s easy, twinkle, twinkle, done\"

Pig (while walking away): \"Pull it out\"

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A man is yelling \"HILFE! HILFE! HILFE!\" while drowning in a river. Somebody passes by, shakes his head and yells back \"You should have learned swimming instead of german\".

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Most feminist are preventing pregnancy with their faces

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I tried to live without sex and alcohol .. must have been the worst 10 minutes of my life.
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My wife is finally pregnant .... do you already know who\'s gonna be the daddy ?

[seadove]

>>> Most feminist are preventing pregnancy with their faces
<<<

It took me a while to catch this one !
/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Tantalus747]

Which meaning did it take you a while to catch? /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[seadove]

<<< Which meaning did it take you a while to catch >>>

The \"taking head\" part.

Or is this an additional by-product of this joke?

[seadove]

OK maybe I have a dirty mind./ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif

[Andy]

I\'d say preventing pregnancy with giving her face is at least unusual for a hardcore feminist ...

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Are there any differences between women and tornadoes ? I don\'t think so, first some blowing, later on it\'s getting harder and in the end your house is gone.
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Women are like shotguns, just bend \'em over and load \'em from behind.
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Women are like stamps, the more you lick \'em the harder to get rid of \'em.
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Beer is supposed to contain female hormones, that might be true, because as soon as a man drinks beer he\'s talking only bs and is unable to drive a car properly.
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Don\'t take this too serious /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif