How Do You KNOW When You Want To See Someone Again

[Icemone]

Hi Ladies, all,

I\'d appreciate any and all input on this /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

Imagine you meet someone and sometimes you KNOW you really want to see them again and it us Mutual!

Sometimes it is a bit more subtle. Not as clear to both people.

So what are some of the feelings you get when there is that \"click\"
And how do you let the other person know you want to see them again.

P.s. I tend to experience either a few \"first\" dates that go nowhere or several VERY INTENSE Affairs.
Seems to be \"All or Nothing\" No in between and
I\'d like to learn to establish relationships that last a while longer than a few weekends/months. Thanks

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I don\'t think you ever really know if it\'s entirely mutual, and if the person doesn\'t pursue contact after the first time, you can never really know what happened with that, either.



The way I know if I want to see someone again is if I can\'t stop thinking about them and replaying the good parts of the date in my mind to experience the enjoyment of them again, and every time the phone rings my heart jumps up into my throat and then I\'m instantly sad if it\'s not him.


I have tended all my life toward the same kind of digital, it\'s either on or it\'s off, it\'s either 0 or it\'s everything love life, which will wear your nerves the hell out after awhile ... one thing I\'m learning from SDR is pacing. Even when it\'s very, very intense, pace it. Don\'t gobble it right up and give in to every impulse to spend every second together and do everything all at once. I used to be very impatient with him in the beginning of our relationship and resentful sometimes that he wouldn\'t give in to my every happy whim to get together, but he said he wants it to last, that\'s why he takes it slow, and he imposed his sense of proper timing on me to the point that I finally calmed down some and relaxed a little, and it IS better this way.


If it reveals itself as mutual and starts out as one of those too hot fires that cools too fast, try to pace it.


That\'s my best shot.

[frenchie]

I agree with you, FTR. Pacing is very important.

If I want to see someone again, I just feel it under my skin - it\'s nothing intellectual or sexual or anything, I just feel it deep inside. No words for that.
I have often noticed something : I can think about someone (the \"normal\" way : how is she ? where is she ?), but sometimes I think about someone like a kind of telepathic or mental connection and this is much stronger. Still, no words for that, but pacing is the most important thing to keep this contact.

Frenchie

[Icemone]

Thanks FullTilt and Frenchie,

Pacing! Good Advice!

Yes, sounds good and true. This is definately one of my challenges, although I SHOULD know better.

I\'m a very Intense person and especially
with what I\'ve studied and trained and learned. I can
REALLY enhance someone\'s experience ( and my own /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

I LOVE to please women and
I guess it\'s a matter of me having seen and heard what I WANTED to, and not necessarily reality.

Despite my Intuition sending me
\"red flags\" and warnings that this person is NOT ready for what I\'m about, I proceeded slowly when I probably
should have just said goodbye.

Even when they are literally begging for more, I\'ll have to slow things down even more. Make sure they are ready and
deserving.

Lately, I\'ve been giving women just a taste of what things can be like and this is often already too much LOL
Maybe I should go to one of those Swinger parties you wrote about FTR