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bivonic
03-07-2003, 04:27 AM
I\'ve always felt more comfortable going out to bars with a friend to meet girls, whenever I\'ve flown solo I\'ve been in the wrong state of mind, almost bringing the Clint Eastwood effect upon myself when solo.

Wingman #1
Unless you have a real good wingman I think it\'s counter productive. I was at my local bar with a guy I used to play pool with, it didn\'t help matters that I stopped drinking for lent. He was a little loaded, he\'s a few inches shorter then me & he\'s missing a few fingers on each of his hands, to top things off he has a very bad stutter. He means well, but he is very touchy feely, not only to his guy friends but any girls he meets or to the waitresses. To make matters even worse his lines are horrendous, when my girl Sally would come by he always said something to embarrass himself, \"You are beautiful.\" He\'d tell her, \"I feel blessed whenever you come by.\" Plus he is putting his hand on her shoulder, arm, forearm, you name it. She tolerated it because she was a friend of mine she would even look over at me while she was sitting down and I would smile at her & she would give me this long face like get this loser off of me & then she would stand up & do a little dance for me. I guess I should have said something to my friend but he\'s pretty sensitive & he was not doing any harm, when he put his arm around me I said to him, \"don\'t put your arm around me.\" He got the hint & gave me kind of a shocked look, but I just left it at that. Lastly to try to be funny he would say things to try & demean me. When I would fire something back he would say, \"Oh hey buddy if I\'m crossing the line just let me know.\" Needless to say I won\'t be taking him out to meet women anytime soon.

Wingman #2
My roommate. Nice very outgoing guy, not the brightest. I can get him to approach any girl or groups of girls & he will say something really bad like, \"So you come here often?\" Followed up by, \"What\'s your sign?\" He\'d be smiling & almost laughing at himself so they would know he\'s not serious. When hanging in pubs with pool tables with music playing he\'d start dancing by himself, a little embarrassing for me, but sometimes girls start to laugh at him & it gives him an excuse to go talk to them. When he gets high or has not gotten his ZZZ\'s he\'s useless & I usually do not work chicks when he is in that state of mind because he\'s a zombie. Biggest problem is he\'ll approach 5\'s & 6\'s when I want nothing to do with them, I generally want to approach at least 7\'s if not 8\'s. Not the ideal situation, but the best wingman (even with his shortcomings) that I have.

Wingman #3
I no longer hang out with this friend of mine. He\'s the rich guy, drives a mercedes convertible, commercial real estate broker, the better looking friend of the group & pretty suave with the ladies. Problem is it\'s all about him, he\'s extermely arrogant & power driven & will just assume stab you in the back then shake your hand. Constantly doing things behind your back to common friends to project his image & lower yours. He\'s notorious for hitting on his friends girlfriends or wives, to the point of asking for their card, phone number or asking them out. I never felt comfortable working women with him because I could never trust him & whenever I went to the bathroom or saw him whispering in some girls ear while looking at me I would always have to 2nd guess what he\'s up to.

Wingman #4
Similar to #3 above but not as rich, not as suave - which in a way was a good thing. He was way too goofy though, think Chandler from Friends without the laughs, tried way too hard to get a laugh always seemed like he was putting on a show to hide who he really was. He was almost like a cartoon character he was so fake.

Not sure if these sound like horror stories or if I made myself out to look like a jerk with high standards for a wingman. I\'d really like to know what frame of mind I need to be in to fly solo. My good friend from Boston flies solo all the time & is quite successful, I guess I\'ll have to ask for some pointers from him next time we hang out.

Forgot to mention, because of my firewall at work I can no longer post here during the day /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif So if I don\'t respond until tomorrow that\'s why.

camusflage
03-07-2003, 05:25 AM
Without getting into the specific strengths or deficienes of a particular wingman, I\'ve found that while your opportunities are more numerous with a wing, your quality is higher when going solo. On the whole, for me, solo usually works best, but that may just be that my approach is to typically study a woman for a bit, gauge my approach, and move in a very precise and measured fashion that is tailored to the target in question.

Irish
03-07-2003, 07:45 AM
The only time the wingmen thing ever \'worked\' for me was early twenties. A bunch of us (bachelor party, hanging with fratboys, etc.) might fall in with a group of like-minded girls, all get crazy drunk, and maybe some would hookup (usually the ones not vomiting). Other than that, trying to work with one or two guys \'helping\' just backfires for me.

Your wingmen descriptions are funny, and point out the general problems. If the wingman is as cool/attractive as you or more so, he will be your competition with every girl you encounter. And while there may be some value of hanging with a total nob (he makes you look good by comparison), your dorky wingman is more likely to embarrass you in front of that gorgeous girl. What\'s he there for anyway? Is he gonna hold your hand and coach you during sex?

Ultimately your gonna have to deal with any girl alone, so do so up front. Going solo gives you the option to approach any girl or group at any time, without any complicated choreography. You\'ll get brass points for spotting a girl amonst her girlfriends, walking straight up to her, and introducing yourself in front of the world. Who needs a helper for that ?!? Let the schoolboys laugh too loud with their buddies, trying to get noticed or get courage. Show you are the man in the room by going after what you want, not caring what anyone thinks, and able to walk away gracefully if the silly girl makes the mistake of not taking you seriously.

Hey, the worst that can happen is the girl laughs in your face and insults you. Big deal - do you really need a wingman to face that \'risk\'? Better to stand or fall on your own, than get laughed at because your buddy is a nimrod.

bjf
03-07-2003, 07:55 AM
A wingman is for a guy not MAN enough to seduce a woman alone.

I think the original post though was raising the question as to whether go to a bar alone or with another guy. To me it is better to go with someone else, but meeting a woman is not a team sport

Irish
03-07-2003, 08:08 AM
Yeah, but whatever works. The downside of the solo act is you have to avoid the lone-wolf look. So there can be some value being seen with someone else that seems normal too - like more circumstantial evidence that you\'re really an ok guy.

The absolute best wing\'man\' is a wing\'woman\', the hotter the better. Instant social validation - if a hot girl is with you, you must have something going for you. Women don\'t fear guys that other hot woman keep company with. Just let it be known your wingwoman is an old buddy from way back, nothing more. If you can get her to make an early apperance and then bail out all the better.

bjf
03-07-2003, 08:10 AM
definitely having a hot girl with you is a huge plus.

Irish
03-07-2003, 08:13 AM
IOnce I stooped to using my own sister as a wingwoman without telling her - she\'s gorgeous and it worked pretty well since she lived out of state and wasn\'t around all the time. I\'m not real proud of that one, but those were the lean years...

bjf
03-07-2003, 08:17 AM
yea, but if you had to tell a woman that it is only your sister, she will not see it as the same way.

one disdvantage is that females hate when you just leave them because they are uncomfortable being alone in a lot of those situations

bundyburger
03-07-2003, 04:07 PM
<<Is he gonna hold your hand and coach you during sex?>>

Did anyone else picture that when they read it??

...my imagination is getting too involved with my reading. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

On the wingman approach. I\'m crap at going out in the first place by myself. Though that\'s what I\'ve had to do for ages. Solo is better for picking up, but if there are no targets you are interested in then it\'s nice to have someone to go back to and play pool or chat or whatever. So a wingman is handy. Having a hot woman there with you is the best, but I tend to get interested in her. It\'s great when you turn up somewhere have a few groups of people you know there to fall back on or start with and then go off solo when you spot an ...ummm.... interesting place to go /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

proteus
03-07-2003, 09:24 PM
Well, bars are not the place I like to do pickups as I find I just have more success in more regular places e.g. parties held by friends. But if in a bar, a wingman helps if you\'re not by nature a barfly. As for having a hot gal with you, it\'s never worked for me, because said hot gal always c*ckblocks me with any gal who shows an interest. In college my best friend was a gorgeous redhead (an absolute 10) and it never helped with meeting other gals as she would not tolerate any other female even attempting to start a conversation with me. Best bet is to just approach on your own in a place where you are normally relaxed and can just be yourself.

bundyburger
03-07-2003, 11:28 PM
<<Having a hot woman there with you is the best, >>

I don\'t know why I said \"the best\". /ubbthreads/images/icons/crazy.gif ...It certainly isn\'t the \"best\". lol

...what I should have said was it\'s worked for me enough ( unless I\'m interested in her anyway. hehehe )

I agree with you about bars. They are hopeless compared to other social events. But they are the easiest to just rock up to when you have nothing better to do.

bivonic
03-08-2003, 09:13 AM
<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

Hey, the worst that can happen is the girl laughs in your face and insults you. Big deal - do you really need a wingman to face that \'risk\'? Better to stand or fall on your own, than get laughed at because your buddy is a nimrod.


<hr></blockquote>

Irish you make some great points as usual.

I agree with those that said an attractive female is the best wing-woman /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif I always try to make friends with attractive women, it\'s tough though because they always assume I want to bang bang bang them.

Which is true, but I have self-restraint /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif