MOBLEYC57
02-27-2003, 10:25 AM
We always hear \"the rules\" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note: these are all numbered \"1\" ON PURPOSE!
#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
#1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
#1. Sunday = sports. It\'s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#1. Crying is blackmail. But know this don\'t you!?
#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! LET US KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT!!!
#1. We don\'t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us. You\'ll still get something this way.
#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we\'d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.
#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\'s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
#1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor!
#1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.
#1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
#1. If you won\'t dress like Victoria\'s Secret girls, don\'t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
#1. If you think you\'re fat, you probably are. Don\'t ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.
#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
#1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girl friends.
#1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say \"nothing,\" we will act like nothing\'s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#1. If you ask a question you don\'t want an answer to, expect an answer you don\'t want to hear.
#1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!
#1. It is not in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. Doesn\'t matter which quiz.
#1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
#1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don\'t mind that, it\'s like camping.
#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
#1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
#1. Sunday = sports. It\'s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#1. Crying is blackmail. But know this don\'t you!?
#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! LET US KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT!!!
#1. We don\'t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us. You\'ll still get something this way.
#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we\'d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.
#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\'s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
#1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor!
#1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.
#1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
#1. If you won\'t dress like Victoria\'s Secret girls, don\'t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
#1. If you think you\'re fat, you probably are. Don\'t ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.
#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
#1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girl friends.
#1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say \"nothing,\" we will act like nothing\'s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#1. If you ask a question you don\'t want an answer to, expect an answer you don\'t want to hear.
#1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!
#1. It is not in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. Doesn\'t matter which quiz.
#1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
#1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don\'t mind that, it\'s like camping.