why i need wag

[bjf]

aftre being bitched out for telling a girl i thought she was really beautiful (honestly i did and i had my eye on her as soon as she came in) i wish i could have had some wagg.

the whole this was the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen, but i feel guilty like i touched a bad nerve in her and like did soething wrong (even though i didn\'t). It hurt, considering i was just being honest and would have been happy with nothing more than a smile.

She said, you don\'t know me how can you be attracted to me. Apparmently, she didn\'t under stand that men work differently then women.

She also was like four or more years older than me (i am 22, she looked 22), and was saying there was a big difference, and how she was working for four years. I said i worked through college. i gues she thought i worked at a deli, but i ran a company and got an offer to be aquried by disney at like 19. Especially, women, tell me all the time i am mature for my age.

I didn\'t say anything mean, just that i wanted to see who see was. i was like okay, (obviosuly she has issues) good luck (in a nice way).

Then her friends were hugging her. I am sensitive and bothered. I said or did nothing unkosher, yet am still hurt. I would not calll her a bitch. I guess me approachign a women who looked my age, was beautiful was an insult. That hurts, cause i always put women first and there is nothing more than i hate than being misunderstood or precieved as having bad intentions. I hassume that , like any other crap i have dealt with, i will be back to my old self in 24 hours. I guess i saw some pain in her, had to be, and to see that hurt and vunerability makes me feel the same way. I wish I could have just absorbed it and taken away from her.

ANyway, i wonder if the mstly SOE with dash of npa and some AE had anything to do with it. I hope not, but consisntly, i only get hits in well hit- sober environments. I think women are too distracted and senses to dull to pick up on much., I know i never have noticed a women\'s perfume or a man\'s cologn at a bar.

Hopfeully wag will work better.....

[bundyburger]

1. Women love been told they are stunning, look great, have beautiful eyes etc. ....But they only TRUST hearing that from people they have gotten to know.

2. Think of how many sleezy guys have gone up to them in a bar and told them they were \"...beautiful, lets get it on baby!\" (,etc)

You may be genuine about what you said, but she can\'t be sure of that though. If she\'s seen the negative side to it too much (guys trying to pick her up), then she will, just straight, hear it as a pick up line.

Don\'t take what happened with her as discouragement. Just learn from it /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

I\'ve had more success telling a girl she is beautiful after I\'ve known her for a while.

But hey, I\'ve also been berated by a girl friend for saying it too much to. It\'s all a balance. A frikkin frustrating balance, I know, but that\'s life. /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[DrSmellThis]

She may be beautiful, but she didn\'t earn you saying that. She wasn\'t capable of benefitting from it, in other words. She felt pain, and it apparently enabled her to feel more like a victim while enjoying a secret little ego rush...

[Sexyredhead]

I don\'t know how you said it to her, but I think she should\'ve taken the compliment and gone on, even if she wasn\'t interested.

Sounds like she\'s definitely got issues, may love playing the victim, and is a bit of a drama queen--my first impression from what you said. Consider yourself lucky to have been saved a lot of trouble in the long run and look for something better for YOU.

[a.k.a.]

The first thing to do is rule out an OD. It doesn’t sound like you over did it compared to many of the guys here. But everybody has a different threshold and combining three strong products like that would have certainly given ME and overdose.

If you can reasonably rule out an OD. (By testing the reactions of other girls when you wear the same combo.) You might want to try SOE on its own. My experience has been that even small amounts of None give out a sexually aggressive vibe. Usually that’s a good thing, but (depending on your looks, personality and approach to women) sometimes it’s not.

It’s quite likely that this woman had “issues”, but my experience is that a good formula/combo can smooth right over whatever issues women have.

In short, I recommend that you keep testing.

PS. And don’t take things so personally. A strange woman’s (over)reaction is no reflection on your true character.

[Gerund]

Yeah. Really sounds like a Twilight Zone encounter, to me. I say she\'s simply a maladjusted jerkette of the first order. (and some good penetration would probably straighten her out for a bit!) lol

[Bruce]

Two points:
1. I feel your pain. It hurts when you take a chance like that and get a rebuff. Real bummer, and it just takes a little time for that to go away.
2. Tip on the compliments: be a little bit more specific and you will get a LOT better results. I would be willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that same girl wouldn\'t have gotten into and argument about \"you don\'t even know me blah blah blah\" if you had said \"You have very pretty eyes\". Also, wait until you have at least got a friendly conversation going before you stick your neck out too far.
:-)
Bruce

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Here\'s my two cents: don\'t be a \"sin eater.\" I\'m referring to your saying you sensed pain in her and you wished you could absorb it and take it away. It\'s not your job. And, look -- she didn\'t care much what she said to you. She didn\'t have the good manners to smile and say \"Thank you,\" and she went so far as to give you sh!t about it. You don\'t need WAGG (maybe you like it, but you are not deficient and therefore in need of WAGG). She needs therapy. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[DrSmellThis]

FTR is spot on here. Please don\'t disrespect yourself, self-sacrifice, open yourself, and give of yourself to people who cannot appreciate or benefit from it, and would attack you for it.

Bruce is also correct. Besides the intimidation and mistrust stuff, most people have poor self esteem, and think global compliments are therefore BS. In fact, it is painful to hear as it reminds them that they think lowly of themselves! When you compliment, therefore, describe highly specific things as if you are \"just being factual\", and only then say how you feel in response to that. If you can slip it in indirectly, as if you are talking about something else, you can get away with even more. Mention it \"on the way\" to some other idea, without dwelling. Keep it moving.

For instance, you could talk about how you\'re not used to all the stimulation or sensory input that happens in a bar, because you don\'t get out much, and standing next to a young woman with pendulous, room-dominating mammaries (notice carefully how specific we are being here) is making it difficult to think with anything above your neck, or to move your mouth in conversation because your pucker reflex is being triggered, and does she know by the way (see how we are keeping the conversation moving) that nipples are really just large sweat glands. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[tallmacky]

FTR always hits it on the spot.

You could do alot with your skillz

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You\'re very kind.

[bundyburger]

Everyone here has put down really good advice.

Bruce and DrSmellThis put accross the most important one (IMHO). How you handle it (and focusing on specific things) --

Example from last night when I went out:

A real pretty blonde on the dance floor. Never seen her before. She was dancing really sexily , having a good time. Just about every guy in there noticed her. I seen a few go to her and say something through out the night. Each time she was visually annoyed by what ever they said. She even made f__off gestures with her body and hands. (heard through the night that she had a boyfriend)
Later on when I found myself standing near her I tapped her on the side of her arm to get her attention, made decent eye contact, smiled and said \"Hey, you\'re a good dancer.\" in a matter of fact way with my eye brows in the \"Oh I didn\'t realise that/surprised\" position. I immediately turned back to who I had been talking to. I heard her say \"Thanks!\" and I looked back to see her smiling. She had that \"Wow. he\'s a nice guy!\" look on her face. So I said \"By the way, I like that top you\'re wearing too. You look really good in it!\". She took that VERY well, seemed to make her day ( ...i noticed... )for a minute or two. I continued on with my other conversation.

Got smiles and eye contact a couple of times from then on. As she was leaving (with her boyfriend on her arm) they passed by me. As they got closer she noticed me and bit her bottom lip, giving me good eye contact. She said \"seeya\" as she passed with a really nice smile.

The key here is, when I first tapped her arm she looked at me and started (JUUUUST) to get that \"What the f___ do you want\" look in her eyes. I have no doubt the way I said it, as a passing comment, that interupted what I was primarily doing (talking to a mate) diffused any BS thoughts she would have got about me.

[bundyburger]

<<She needs therapy.>>

Maybe it\'s an Aussie thing??? But I come accross what BJF decscribes all the time. Sometimes I\'m sure the girl has self esteem issues, but I find I can deal with it pretty successfully by doing the above. Handle it right.

Another technique I find works is actually making a point of the fact that the comment coming up might seem forward. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

From 2 years ago on New Years, \"Hi I\'m bundyburger. I noticed you earlier in the night and wasn\'t going to say anything to you, but I really have to comment on your eyes. They\'re a really nice colour!.\" And after a few words \"I don\'t want to seem like I\'m hitting on you but can I just look closer.\" She agreed. She was kind of uncomfortable at someone getting in her face, in a playful uncomfortable way, but she really liked the focus on her! And the eye contact was deep and after talking for a long while I ended up making out with her in the corner for a little while. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif