A question for lesbians

[bivonic]

What\'s the PC way to ask a girl if she\'s a lesbian? I met this really cute girl last night who was very friendly but I was getting a vibe that she was a lesbian. Do I make an effort to find out if she is a lesbian or do I just ask her out & find out the hard way, although I\'d rather be rejected for that reason then for not being her type. Also in your opinion what percent of lesbians are bi-?

I was thinking a good question would be do you find girls attractive? But even that I think might be too forward, how about off the cuff, after a hot waitress serves me a beer make a comment of how cute the waitress is & then ask her opinion? Although if she\'s straight she might take offense, but if she\'s a lesbian & she did think the waitress was hot, she might drop her guard & say something rather revealing?

Reasons I think she might have been gay, she had very short hair, I asked her on a scale of 1-10 how much do you trust me? (This is after I generated a good rapport & had her laughing), her response was \"0\", I told her I was in shock I had never gotten such a low rating, her reply was I don\'t trust anyone, don\'t take it personally. Then later on in the conversation this kind of struck me funny, phone numbers came up & she said I never give out my phone number to guys, even if I\'m attracted to them (which lead me to believe she was straight), but she said she did accept men\'s phone numbers - nope not going to fall for that, even if she says those are the rules she plays by, as they are not the rules I play by. As I\'m leaving I told her me & my friend were going around the corner & she should stop by, her response, \"You should stay here & play me again in pool.\" If there were not 7-8 other guys vying for her attention I probably would have, instead I told her, \"Sorry I\'m meeting some friends, come over when you are done here.\" No dice, no show, but she is a local & she told me that bar is the only bar she goes to, I saw her there last Friday too, but I thought she was with this guy I know so I didn\'t want to \"cut in\".

Sorry for the rant, advice appreciated.

Thanks!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Sounds to me like she\'s just had it with being played, is all.

[Mtnjim]

Assume she is streight and ask her out.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I don\'t think she would go out with him. She\'s marked him for a player.

[Gerund]

Ask her whether she prefers \"tacos\" or \"hot dogs.\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[Sexyredhead]

Ahhh, very subtle. You should be a diplomat, Gerund. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[Gerund]

ummm... do I get any slack \'cuz it\'s Friday?

[Sexyredhead]

Gerund honey, that WAS slack. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[bivonic]

Trying to get back on topic without analyzing my particular situation:

What\'s the PC way to ask a girl if she\'s a lesbian?

[Sexyredhead]

The only PC way I can think of involves questions like \"Did you ever date a guy who....\" Can\'t think of how to work it into a conversation.

You said there were a bunch of guys around her? Ask her if she\'s dating one of them. If she\'s a lesbian, I think she\'d find a way to work it in about there.
Sounds to me like she just wasn\'t interested either, sorry.

[CJ01]

First of what does PC stand for apart from personal computer?

To help answer your Q - don´t ask her if she´s a lesbian because even if she is not, she will probably not want to go out with you if you ask such a (sorry) sh*te question. It´s insulting and if she really is you´re putting her on the spot which is not the nice thing to do.

sexyredheads idea is good although even if she´s been out with men doesn´t guarantee that she could now prefer women right? Tricky huh /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

good luck anyway CJ

[Whitehall]

It doesn\'t matter. If she gives you the come-on - go for it. If she brushes you off - you ain\'t getting any anyway.

If you somehow get into a relationship, you\'ll know soon enough about her sexual proclivities.

So, why ask? It\'s a dumb thing to do.

Besides, relate to her as a person, not a pervert - sorry - deviant - sorry again - alternate persuasion mixed gender responder.

[Elana]

Bivonic- Just imagine me saying those three words to you. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
You think about stupid crap too much. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[bivonic]

Elana -

I\'m trying to remember which 3, is it:

Blow me now?

nah, I bet it is:

You\'re an idiot!

LOL

I answered my own question, no thanks to you geniuses, yes I\'ve been out drinking tonight so do not be offended.

The appropriate answer to my question, \"What is the PC way to ask a girl if she\'s a lesbian?\" Is obviously...

Do not treat her like one, ask her, \"So where\'s your boyfriend tonight?\"

Just like you\'d ask any other attractive girl you were interested in:
A. If she was straight & she had a boyfriend AND she was NOT interested in you she would tell you where he was (lie or otherwise).
B. If she was straight & she had a boyfriend AND she WAS interested in you she would probably lie.
C. If she was bi- & not interested see A.
D. If she was bi- & interested see B.
E. If she was strictly lesbo, she\'d say so, unless she was not totally open & thn refer to A.

I\'m glad that us men got women who proclaimed they were strictly hetero to reply to a post that said, A question for lesbians, I guess that means they are bi- & ALL WOMEN ARE BI-!

LOL - gotcha, you fell for my trap! Busted! Okay flame me, I guess I deserve it, but you gotta admit I got you to reply to a post asking for ONLY lesbo input! and NONE of you prefaced it by saying your sexual dispostion, which leads us all that you bat both ways. I apologize in advanced if you get a sudden surge of PM\'s from the female populous! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif If you ever want to go straight back to dick, I\'m usually available /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Can\'t seem to get away from dicks, most days.

[Sexyredhead]

Ahhhh, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.
Bivonic, you have set me upon my right path. Your ruse has caused me to discover I no longer want dick. Why didn\'t I see it before??? Pussy all the way from now on.

Thank you. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Elana]

Big B...you were correct on the second set of words. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[EXIT63]

You could always try the direct approach.

Ask her if she likes Hair Pie or Balls on the Chin!

[bivonic]

That was good for a laugh Exit, thanks. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[frenchie]

hi Bivonic,
Just remember a few things : very short hair doesn\'t mean a girl is a lesbian...in other words : never trust the people\'s appearance.Most people think of Jodie Foster as a lesbian and God knows she is feminine and nice looking !
Another thing : sexual identity is very long to fix for some people, and is perhaps never definitely fixed for the rest of your life, apart for educational reasons.
I think it\'s useless to put people into categories, whatever they are. This is an open door to intolerance.

Only one person asked me : \"aren\'t you gay ?\". It was a guy. I didn\'t mind because we are good friends and we \"feel\" each other quite well. I also have a sense of humour so I laughed. But a lot of gay people don\'t feel very well in this hetero society where it\'s impossible to speak about your personal life without having to hide something...

I agree with Whitehall : if you want to start a relationship with her, just do it. I mean, you know she doesn\'t trust anybody very easily, so start by being a nice guy. Don\'t be in a hurry. If she wants to trust you some day, she will, and you\'ll know who she is.
If she is gay, she can be a good friend - and even help you about girls !!!
If she is not, you may have a good friend, or a potential girlfriend.
If you\'re nice enough, you cannot lose !

Frenchie

[bivonic]

Thanks frenchie points well taken! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Elana]

Bivonic- Did you ever ask that woman if she was gay? /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[bivonic]

I haven\'t seen her since, been going to that bar, but she\'s been a no show. Come to think of it I think she is straight. She was enjoying the attention from the other guys too much. Also I spoke to this girl friend of mine & she mentioned she came by that bar I told her to go to late night. So that\'s promising, could be a coincidence, but I sold her pretty hard on going over there. I think at the time I tried pitching her to go with us she was in the middle of like 5-6 guys at the pool table & wanted to wait a few. So I\'ll defefinitely hit on her, next time I see her! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[bivonic]

So I run into \"Denise\" tonight, the one that originated this thread...

I had 2 liters of beer (64oz x 2 = about 8 beers) with 3 friends of mine with a nice steak dinner & then we went to a few bars - so I was in a socialable mood, I notice a girl inside as we approach the bar wearing a red spaghetti string top & I told my buddies (my roommate & this girl friend) mind you my eye sight sucks & I should have known it was her before we even walked in. Turns out it\'s the same girl I met a few weeks ago, the one whom I questioned her sexuality. I asked her where she has been, I\'ve been coming around & have not seen her here, she said she was here last Wed., I told her, \"Ah I don\'t hang out that night.\" She remembered me & was happy to see me, we chatted for a bit & then this guy tries to butt in while we are talking, he actually wedges himself between the bar, me & her while he could have just as easily walked over to the other open side - he actually gives me a pretty sharp shoulder to shoulder nudge. I was very put off that he was such a dick & after giving him that look like I was about to smack him, my friend \"Denise\" says, oh <bivonic> this is my friend \"Dick\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif I barely shake his hand, neither of us looks the other in the eye & I immediately walk away to where my friends are hanging out, murmuring something to \"Denise.\" She calls me on it a few times while this tool is sitting next to her, to which I reply, \"don\'t worry about it - I\'ll tell you later.\" So an unrelated event happens, 3 girls start causing trouble with me & my buddies as to who is up next in pool (they were snaking games), the bartenders that know me get involved & I tell them not to bother fixing the problem we were heading out anyway. This leaves \"Denise\" baffled, as I never got around to telling her how put off I was by this \'tool\' friend of hers & she could not figure out why I was being so distant, I did make sure I told her we were leaving due to the other girls & where we would be.

\"Denise\" & the guy she is with follow us over to the other bar about 30-45 minutes later, while I\'m not looking she grabs my butt & laughs. We hang out for a bit & before I get to explain what I was pissed off about (while he was not in ear shot), I asked her if she was dating him, to which she firmly said, \"NO\". After I explain his rude behavior with the shoulder around the corner, she initially defends him & says, \"He must have thought you were some \'tool\' hitting on me, when in fact you were just being friendly\", I interject jokingly & say, \"actually I fully intended to hit on you\" <with a smile> =) that got a nice smile out of her. Then at some point we talk about when we first met each other a few weeks ago & I tell her my friend saw her come by this same bar (we were at currently) after I had told her to come meet me here (if you read the 1st thread there were like 6-8 guys hitting on her & I tried to get her to come here, but she was content with the attention she was getting) & she admitted she had come by later that night but it was merely a coincidence (which I think is BS - way too coincidental) & she tried to turn the tables & said, well you were definitely hitting on me that first night you met me, to which I replied, \"You are absolutely correct I was!\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

The real funny part of tonight came when my girl friend wanted us to take off to meet some \"cute guys\" & I told \"Denise\" this & her & my roommate said to us out loud in front of the entire pool room, \"What\'s the matter? These guys are not \'hot enough\' for you?\" & then one of them asked all of the single guys to raise their hands, it turns out the ass giving me a hard time with \"Denise\" raised his hand & \"Denise\" says what about him? My buddy shoots him down (unintentially), \"Denise\" cannot believe it as she thought for sure he was a \'stud\' (I\'m guessing), my buddy apologizes in detail & makes matters worse (for him) by saying, \"I\'m sorry I just do not find you the least bit attractive.\" Hahaheheh.

So me & my roommate eventually lose at pool & we end up taking off, I put my slick jacket on & I go to shake hands with dorko as he is protecting \"Denise\" at this point against the wall, then I go & approach Denise & we kiss each other on the cheek & I tell her I\'ll see her soon as I give her bare right bicep a little smooth rub as I\'m walking away & I end up leaving with my roommate & girl friend.

[EXIT63]

Try telling this story again when your sober /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Elana]

Exit- Leave drunky alone. /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[bivonic]

Nah I deserved that, I\'m just waking up to see what kind of damage I did, apparently minimal. =) My buddy had his digital camera out, I\'ll post a pic when he emails it to me, there\'s a decent one of me. I was definitely loaded last night & had minimal game, the night was meant to go that way from the get-go so I wasn\'t in pickup mode.

[CJ01]

We´re gonna get to see a pic of YOU ? /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif
Where is it, where is it!

[Elana]

Yeah! Where is it? Can we have a pic? /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[bivonic]

E you have mail. I\'ll try to get it up somewhere, any advice where to put it?

[CJ01]

Your profile?

[bivonic]

Here ya go - be kind, I\'m the drunk in the middle /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

http://photos.yahoo.com/bivonic (\"http://photos.yahoo.com/bivonic\")

[CJ01]

I´m not sure I want to see your head (the top one that is /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif )
I´m only interested in your body not your mind /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[bivonic]

You\'ve been hanging out with E too much!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hmph. Interesting. Now, you say you only date 8\'s, 9\'s, 10\'s, do I have that right?

[bivonic]

Nope. I had an interesting, albeit eye opening, conversation with a buddy of mine I had not seen in a while. We played a game where we would rate the different women we saw in the bar where we were hanging out at. It seemed our \"scales\" were off by 1 point. In his opinion there was no such thing as a \"10\" & he reserved 9\'s only for the elite supermodels / actresses in the world, so in his real world experiences the hottest girl he would ever come across would be an 8. I told him my gauge was more based on %\'s, I\'m probably in the minority when I give this definition. I say a 9 is 90% more attractive then the rest of the female population, an 8 is more attractive then 80% etc... So an 8.5 would be more attractive then 85%. I guess a 10 would be in the elite 1-2%.

Also I believe I said I approach 7, 8, & 9\'s not 8, 9, & 10\'s - big difference. And for the record I never said I was a \'stud\', sorry I didn\'t meet your expectations. I rate myself on average a 7.5, or more attractive then 75% of the men out there, when I trim down 10-15 lbs. I\'d bump myself to an 8 which I don\'t think is that out of line.

[bundyburger]

Rating systems\' NEVER work. They are just all over the place. You are either Not attracted to someone, attracted too them, or find them irresistable.

About the only place I\'ve found myself using ratings.... is when someone else uses ratings and they need some kind of verification of there own beliefs. And it just about always ends up in disparity of results ...except for the most exceptionally beautiful women.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I didn\'t have any expectations, had no idea what you look like. I\'m sure women have different rating scales, too; in other words, if I sat down with a group of women, we\'d probably have some discrepancies in how we\'d rate the guys in the room. I\'d be curious to see examples of the women you think are good looking enough for you to approach; i.e., what your idea of a 7, that being your minimal number, would look like.

[bivonic]

I agree everyone has different tastes. As point of reference the girl in the picture you saw with me, I\'d rate a 8.5 - I\'d hit on her in a heart beat if she didn\'t have a live in boyfriend & there wasn\'t such a large age discrepency, I think she\'s 22.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

She\'s quite lovely.

[bjf]

no sh-t i was just going to post that she looked damn good

[bivonic]

Yeah she\'s easily the 2nd hottest girl that works at my bar, the girl \"Sally\" I keep mentioning is my personal favorite. If you saw Sally you probably would not agree, but once you see her with her hair down & glasses off you might change your mind. While I am not the hottest guy to walk into that place I do alright with my personality / charm / wit, once I get motivated enough to shed that extra weight & control my alcoholic intake look out! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Phantom]

lovely Indeed.

[bjf]

i am weary of good lookingwomen who work in bars, cause yes, i would want to flirt with them if they were patrons, but once they work there i figure, every guy uses it as an opportunitity to hit on them, etc. So therefore, you look like just another guy sweating her and taking advanatage of the easy opportunity to hit on them. And -- not wrongfully so -- they in turn flirt back because they know making you feel good about yourself and them leads to bigger tips.

I don\'t fault them for doing so, i just don\'t want to be another manipulated guy.

[bivonic]

I hear you, in most bars I don\'t waste my time, yeah I\'ll do the casual flirt but I won\'t think anything of it. I will say there are a handful of these girls that do date customers, I know one guy in particular that has dated about 3-4 different women at the same bar, the first girl he dated was married at the time, she ended up getting a divorce & moving in with him, then she moved back home when they broke up & he dated a few others. It\'s pretty easy to tell when they are only interested in you for tips, all you have to do is show up there & not drink - once they realize you are not going to be one of their paychecks for the night they\'ll ignore you.

The one category you also don\'t want to get stuck in is being their emotional support system, their BF gets all the loving & you end up giving them all of the emotional support their BF could care less in giving them. A lot of these girls are depressed about their life, yeah they make decent bank, but it\'s not like they are pulling in what dancers bring in, yet they still have to put up with a bunch of drunk stiffs constantly hitting on them, ala my buddy with missing digits, cheezy lines & touchy feely tendencies.

[franki]

You know, I feel sorry for B, usually when a guy posts his pic, all the ladies say how cute he is. Why don\'t you do the same with Bivonic?

Franki /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[bjf]

Yea bio. I am firmly against being a source of emotional support for a women that I am interested in as more than just friends if they have a boyfriend. No guy should ever put up with doing the boy friends job but then being not dubbed manly enough to f-ck. You just say, tell your boyfriend if they start in with that stuff. If they talk about him being emotionaly unvailable, then you say, why are you with him? And you can get them to see the light. If they say \"but, I blah blah him\" then you say, well then take it to him, I will not invest my concern in someone who doesn\'t respect me (i.e you are not good enough for a physical relationship, only he is, even though you are far better in taking care of her emotionally).

You can really turn the tables with this and win her respect and save your own. I hate to see guys who let themselves be walked on like that.

Women may not realize it, but a girl who will open up to a man emotionally but not physically is a MAJOR insult to a man. If they don\'t, just say, why are you telling me this, that\'s your boyfriend\'s job

[**DONOTDELETE**]

\'cause he already knows how cute he is.

[CJ01]

You´re right, hanging around Elena has made me go from bad to worse. I like it /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif
CJ

[**DONOTDELETE**]

She\'s a delightfully bad influence.

[Elana]

/ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif Thank you......I think /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I meant it as a compliment.

[CJ01]

I´ve actually meet someone who´s worse than me! I thought this was hardly possible but she´s proved me wrong.
And and you as well ! /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Elana]

/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif ROFLMAO
I have never met any woman as bad as myself /ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

\"And and you as well !\"

What? Elana\'s worse than I am? Or I\'m worse than you are?

[Elana]

We both have our own issues. /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif
I would say we are equally ummmmm not angels /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[CJ01]

You two are the worst ever!

[bivonic]

Well I ran into my sexuality challenged friend last night. She looks a little bit like Jolene Blaylock from Star Trek, (yeah that comparison went over really well) - only a few of my friends knew who Jolene was, I told them she was on the cover of Maxim.

Anyway, I can\'t write much, need to get ready for work. I walked into the bar at around 7PM, she had been drinking since 4PM, she\'s a student, she was psyched to see me, gave me a hug & now calls me \'Vegas.\' Because I went to Vegas for pool, she doesn\'t miss an opp to bust my chops when I\'m shooting pool, even when we play on the same team she eggs me on, like she\'s trying to get me to miss. It was all in fun though.

After me & my roommate showed up, I chatted with her for a bit, yep she\'s definitely an AW, had about 3-4 of my friends entertaining her. She had to go back to her place & check her messages? But says she\'ll come back, she comes back 30 minutes later in a new outfit. Then tells us she\'s meeting up with a friend in the city at 11:30 that she hadn\'t seen in a while.

I get her to join me & this girl I know to go around the corner where \"Sally\" works. Sally has been in the dumps for like the past two weeks or so, not exactly sure what\'s going on with her, she hasn\'t been opening up, needless to say she wasn\'t any cheerier when I walked in with two girls.

Well \'Jolene\' got her call from her friend & couldn\'t even stay for a game of pool, I lay into her for bailing w/o even playing a game & she said she had to jet, but told me to come out & meet her Saturday night around the corner. I\'ll be there...

Forgot to mention, after she split I was playing pool with these three girls that were roommates & some guy. This one girl was very flirty, in order to get me to miss she would start & rub her shin up my leg working her way up to my crotch, funny thing is everytime she did that I ended up making my shot, but then the cue would bounce off a rail & scratch. Not sure if she would have acted that way had I not been wearing my \'mones, something tells me she wouldn\'t have.

[JustPeachy]

I think you have to just come

right out and say it, don't you?

[Elana]

I think you have

to just come right out and say it, don't you?
Uh huh............. ;)

[JustPeachy]

:D Seems perfectly obvious to

me....

[Elana]

:D What do you mean?

[JustPeachy]

:D What do you

mean?
Little 'ol Moi? :D

[Pancho1188]

Okay, I admit it. It's my big

secret. I'm a lesbian. I'm really a woman, and I like women...like all of those weird 80's movies, I've

tried to pass myself off as a guy just to feel normal...until I've found the girl of my dreams. I hoped that one

day she would grow to love and understand me for who I was when she found out...

I don't know how you found me

out, ladies, but you've brought me out of the closet!

I'm so ashamed, but I'm tired of all the lies!!! Oh,

please................please help me!!! :rolleyes:

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D