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View Full Version : 19 things not to say to the police officer



seadove
02-13-2003, 02:26 AM
1. I can\'t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, I didn\'t realize my radar detector wasn\'t on.

3. Aren\'t you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. You\'re gonna check the trunk, aren\'t you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.

9. I pay your salary.

10. That\'s terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? It\'s nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You\'re a trained specialist?

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesn\'t inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.

15. Didn\'t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

16. Is it true people become cops because they\'re too dumb to work at McDonald\'s?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around--That\'s how far they are ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Can anybody think of no 20? I myself got stopped last month by a female cop and I noticed her name on her badge and I told her \"hey, you have the same name as my girlfriend.\" but that didn\'t help either.Guess I\'m not charming enough.

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Bruce
02-13-2003, 04:42 AM
#20. \"Officer, dude, did you ever think how, like, you know, our entire planet could like be just like nothing more than a speck of dust on some other enormous civilization? Kinda blows your mind doesn\'t it, sir, officer, dude.? Just to think about it, if you know what I mean and stuff. Kinda puts our concerns into perspective and everything.\"

Bruce

a.k.a.
02-13-2003, 05:13 AM
“Officer, the car ahead of me was throwing sh*t out the window and I don\'t have time for a breathalizer ‘cause I’m an asthmatic and I left my stash at home.”

A line that a friend actually tried to get away with, back in my college days.

seadove
02-13-2003, 05:18 AM
Lol AKA

Well that sure beats \"you have the same name as my girlfriend\"

a.k.a.
02-13-2003, 05:18 AM
“I don’t recognize your authority. You’re just a functionary of the State, and you’d be happy to work under any regime.”

Another true story from my college days. (This one got us a night in jail.)

seadove
02-13-2003, 05:21 AM
Lol AKA

I\'ll keep that in mind NOT to say it.

seadove
02-13-2003, 06:14 AM
Bruce if I would say what you wrote to that female officer I would have gotten two tickets!!Especially if I called her dude.

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Lucky
02-13-2003, 06:26 AM
Wish I could have been a witness to that deal!!! ROTF

Wolfe
02-13-2003, 07:00 AM
#20 Can i borrow your handcuffs and nightstick baby?

bivonic
02-13-2003, 08:03 AM
20. I was hoping you\'d pull me over, I wanted to know if I could borrow your handcuffs tonight, I have a hot date & I\'m dating that girl from Joe Millionnaire & I hear she\'s into bondage.

bivonic
02-13-2003, 08:07 AM
21. Yeah, I\'ll have a #3 with a diet coke. Supersize that please.
22. Is that bacon I smell?

bivonic
02-13-2003, 08:46 AM
23. Too early for flap jacks?
24. Whatever you want buddy, You\'ve got the gun and I\'m not armed right now.
25. Do you know who you\'re talking to?!
26. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
27. Hey I know you, I used to bang your sister.