Weird pressure to get another girl... (Confusion)

[bsxs]

For some reason I feel some pressure to get a girl, like soon.
Maybe its because i wanna get a girl before my ex gets another guy.. so itll feel like I won. I\'m not sure it\'s pretty messed up. I know that it\'s dumb the whole \'win\' thing, but I really feel the need to get another girl like real soon. I kinda wish it would go away too.

I\'m using 6 SoE, 3 NPA, 1 Pl/m. I hope I get some results soon. Do you know what\'s up with this attitude?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You answered your own question:
\"it\'s dumb the whole \'win\' thing\"

[bsxs]

Yes yes I know how dumb it is. That\'s not the thing. I want to know how to get rid of this. I feel like it might be a shot to my self-esteem for some reason.

[Whitehall]

There\'s that old saying:

\"Sin in haste and repent at leisure.\"

Get in a big hurry and you\'ll make a mistake you\'ll regret. Just keep busy and enjoy yourself - that should be revenge enough.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Ride it out. It will go away by itself.

[bsxs]

Yeah that sounds pretty good to me. The only problem is I\'ll still think of her. I really want these thoughts out of my head. You know, hook up with someone to clear my mind. It really bugs me how she wants to hang with everyone except me.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yup. Love stinks.

[bsxs]

The reason I want a girl, is so these thoughts can get out of my head, and so she\'ll start to feel somethin, knowin that she can\'t get with me again. I want to start a band and crap. I\'ve made music all my life, but not in band form. It\'d be easy to do. I get stage fright though. Yucky. I\'ll have to get over that. I just feel some insuperiority thing because she pushes *ME* away.

[bsxs]

I\'m not sayin I\'d use this girl, but so I felt like I didn\'t get screwed over from my ex.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

No, you\'re saying you\'d use that girl. /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[bsxs]

Hehe well kinda. At first it\'d be like that but I think it\'d be more like she will take off where my ex left me off. I still lack some type of revenge against my ex.

[belgareth]

Revenge? How will screwing yourself up and using somebody else get you revenge?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Make a xerox of a picture of her face and use it for a dart board.

If you take it out on some other girl, and that goes bad, then you\'ll have guilt on top of it all.

Try to stay away from negative emotion and just let yourself get over it, is my best advice. Maybe the guys know better.

[bsxs]

Well that\'s true. I wouldn\'t think of it as revenge. Just something for my self-esteem. I know it sounds crappy, but I don\'t know what else to do in this situation. I\'m tired of feeling this way.

[belgareth]

You\'ll help your self esteem the most by behaving like a gentleman. Go out and have fun an dstop worrying about revenge.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

bsxs, how old are you? Your profile\'s not filled out and I was just curious.

[bsxs]

16, first relationship as you can probably tell. I know these feelings are very immature, but hey we all go through it once.

[Whitehall]

Dealing with this sort of disappointment is part of becoming a man.

You can do it.

[Wolfe]

sure sounds that way to me too..and using ppl will come back to haunt ya in the end.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Keep in mind what goes around comes around.

[Wolfe]

16!!!!!!!!!!!!!..lmao listn..get another box of worms and just go fishing

[belgareth]

We\'ve all been through it. It hurts and we sympathize with you. The only smart thing you can do is move on. Don\'t miss out on all the good things because of this. Go out and have some fun, the hurt will go away after a while, it always does.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

His ego\'s scorched. That\'s a real bad feeling.
What do you think, martial arts? That seems to help with a lot of things. ...

[belgareth]

It helps (helped) me.

Time is about the only sure cure. We all get burned and how we handle it is what really makes the difference. Going on and having fun is the best way to forget.

[Wolfe]

16 is to young to worry about lost love anyways..sorry if that sounds cold hearted but thats the way it is..and all here over 25 know it too.

[belgareth]

It still hurts when you are there.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

And never worse than when you\'re 16.

[Wolfe]

sure it does but sitting around moaning about it isnt gonna solve it no more than using some1 else will.

[belgareth]

It is part of the growing up process and learning from it is the best you can do. If you don\'t learn something, then she just may have come out ahead.

[Whitehall]

A couple of simple supplements that might help would be 5-HTP and/or phenylanaline. Both are amino acids or simple precursors so are fairly innocuous and easy to obtain (they\'re really just concentrated foods). Take one at a time on an empty stomach an hour before eating proteins again.

They might brighten your mood and perhaps reduce the obsessiveness of a broken heart.

[Watcher]

Good advice whitehall or you could use a nol heavy product. Just to boost youre mood.

[Wolfe]

when a horse throws you, ya got to get back up into the saddle and ride again or your lost..time to move on and find another girl, forget the revenge thing as YOU will be the one to pay the price for it, not her.
but what the hell i know, i\'m not getting paid for this like Dear Abby /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[bsxs]

Wolfe that is what the topic is about. The urge to get another girl.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You gotta excuse Wolfe sometimes. It\'s his age.

/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[bsxs]

Music > Girls

Girls will come and go, but I\'ll always have music =D

[Wolfe]

yes it is..sorta..but your \'urge\' is to get another girl to try to\'hurt\' the other one from before and all thats gonna do is get YOU hurt again but it\'s your life

[bundyburger]

\"I just feel some insuperiority thing because she pushes *ME* away.\"

Girls are good at doing that dude. Give her space. She may come back to you. But it might take a while. In the mean time occupy yourself with other things. It feels almost impossible, I know, because I still have days like that right now. It DOES get easier man.

You might have a month or two or three where it just doesn\'t get any better. You still think about her and miss her and can\'t get her out of your head and think that you never will. Then all of a sudden you\'ll wake up one day and be \"over it\".

Find something else to do. Organise that band with your mates/buddies or something. Bands are great fun and great mind occupiers. Hey, just think \"GROUPIES!\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Whitehall]

Then again, think of this experience as necessary training for learning to sing the blues.

[CptKipling]

Hey mate, I feel your pain.

I know what your going through, and I know its hard when you think about it.

The most important thing is not to beat yourself up about it. And stop trying to convince yourself that it\'s her loss by getting another girl so fast, just look inside and KNOW your own value.

As far as your concerned, in the long run its her loss, she only got to see a fraction of the person you will become, and you will get girls that are more worth your time.

A girl that makes you think like that never deserved your love in the first place. Maturing early sucks real bad i know, but you have to such it up and carry on. Everyone our age has insecurity problems, absolutely everyone. But you have one up on most people already, you have faced up to that fact and are trying to deal with it.

Think about things you can do with yourself to make you more happy with you. If there are things you cant change, why worry? Only use thought productively, and you will feel a lot better!

Sport always helps a lot. When I\'m angry or depressed I go out on a run, I come back shattered, but I feel better.

If you do the things you thought about to improve yourself it will help aswell, from the sheer satisfaction of it.

Music is a great medium for venting emotions. I liked to write, maybe you could write a song, or just play music really loud and sing \'till your lungs implode /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

Only do things that make or will make you happy.

[krtel]

Age is a NUMBER. Maturity is what should matter, not your digits.

- Krish

[SwingerMD]

bsxs,

Good way to think. Focus on improving other parts of your life. Lift weights, exercise, in other words increase that muscle mass. Pick up another hobby. How about dancing. Wonderful way to meet lots of people and work on your social skills. Worked for me! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

After my nasty break up two years ago I pretty much jumped back on the horse two months later, and promply threw myself off again. For such a deep relationship, I really wasn\'t ready to go again for at least a year. It took a lot of time and concentration on improving myself to get over her.

As for the revenge thing, not a good idea. My best friend in college, was dumped by his girlfriend that he was deeply involved with. She was doing some pretty bad things and he was thinking about blowing the whistle on her. Another friend and I convinced him to not do this. I thought, \"Man, I\'ll never get so worked up about a girl.\" Boy was I ever wrong. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif During my break up I was so pissed that I had started to dig up info on both of them (my ex and her new beau). I found out something that really could have destroyed their careers. My best friend from college and his new girlfriend convinced me not to.

You may cause them some grief, you may cause them some pain, but in the end you will only end up destroying yourself.

[Watcher]

Go forth and cause some pheromone induced activity and choas.

[xxxPantero]

it\'s called \"anger management\"

buy an aluminum baseball bat, write \"anger management\" on it, and go break some windows in the junkyard

the sound of shattered glass is very therapeutic.

i give ya 9 months max before you get over this girl. by then you won\'t care.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

ROFLMAO

Now, there\'s some advice that will save you mega bucks on therapy bills. I like that.

[bundyburger]

Ahuh, bought myself a workout bag for the same very reason. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[Wolfe]

maturity come from experiance, experiance comes from age..so age does matter

[belgareth]

You\'ve got a really good point there, Pantero. Find a way to blow off steam, it helps more than most people would imagine.

During and after my divorce, the master at my dojo would insist on extra hours spent in \'advanced\' training. Ha! Two hours practicing kicking a bag! Or an hour spent trying to get past his defenses. He\'d work me to exaustion, then we\'d go out for drinks and he\'d get me laughing so hard I couldn\'t breath. The guy was very good and the therapy worked.

[CptKipling]

Experience can come in many forms, and the RIGHT experience may happen to soem people before others, and some may learn from it very fast, and have the will to learn more, so age doesn\'t matter

/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

Experience can come in many forms, and the RIGHT experience may happen to soem people before others, and some may learn from it very fast, and have the will to learn more, so age doesn\'t matter

<hr></blockquote>

but the more one lives, the broader the range of experience. The broader the range of experience, the more that is learned. More experience = the POSSIBILITY of more maturity. So age does matter /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[CptKipling]

Just how old is George Bush these days? /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

Just because there is a possibility of maturity, does not provide a basis for predjudice.

Right back atcha!

[belgareth]

I\'d of used Bill Clinton, instead. More in context, considering his proclivivties. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Watcher]

Considering george bush had offspring that is doing its damnest to go to war with IRAQ asap in an effort to show his military might, instead of allowing the UN weapons inspectors to do their work, i know it didnt work the north korea but i think the best thing we can hope for is mr hussien steps aside and goes into another country to live out his days. Im sure zimbabwae would have him considering robert mugabe and his \"land reforms\"

[marv14yag]

I think it\'s just the biolgical drive to mate with the opposite sex...That, and social....

From what you said, I don\'t even think it\'s that, because if it was, you wouldn\'t have SAID it was because of the win...

Either way, what can you do? Just get a girl, or try and not think about it really...

Bart