How to be approachable to women?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

How about some of you love experts help me out on how to be more approachable to women. I am not a bad looking guy at all (not to seem concieted) I just want to know how do you get women to come to you like at clubs , mall etc. What is the secret?

[rjm]

Jose\' will agree with this, I\'m sure --

BE FRIENDLY.

What I generally try to do is to treat the female as though I\'ve known her forever. Also, if you\'re ON the first date, be open enough to tell her that yes, it DOES seem like a job interview (in some ways, it IS).

Just be one of the good guys. Keep a good attitude; getting in a bar-fight does NOT help the impression... (DUHHHH...)

As things progress, you\'ll know if she\'s what you want, and it can\'t be just for sex; those relationships do NOT last.

Here\'s a tip from my own miserable experiences: Be certain of what you will and will not accept. Been there, done that, will not tolerate it EVER again. I/YOU are NOT a doormat; nor are you a wallet and a ride. Yeah, I got screwed over; let\'s call them \"learning experiences.\" I now have the PhD in bull$#!+.

It takes some confidence. That will grow as you decide about that behavior thing (above).

So again, be a good-guy, but do not surrender yourself to abuse. YOU are the one you have to face in the morning, so your standards must not be compromised.

Randy

[jose]

I agree with you Randy, but there are other factors to consider. Remember you are the display window she\'s trying to make up her mind about buying you. You must be well groomed, good hygiene, brush those teeth. Always have a breath mint around when you go to the clubs or before talking to a girl. The first thing you do is smile and make eye contact. If she maintains eye contact for more than a fraction of second then she\'s interested. Look for the signs- her pupils are dilated, her skin tone is read. Touching her hair or stroking her thighs or her wrists. When she\'s sitting down talking to you is her body facing you. Body language is the most important thing to knowing a woman is attracted to you. You don\'t have to come up with a pickup line just say \"Hi my name is so-so I noticed you were standing here and I would really like to get to know you.\" And before she can say anything say \"what\'s your name?\" and then shake her hand. images/icons/crazy.gif
For the record most women want you to approach them not the other way around.
I\'m no love expert I just go by my experiences and I go to www.Askmen.com (\"http://www.Askmen.com\") images/icons/laugh.gif
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg (\"http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg\")

[a.k.a.]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif\">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mrright03:
I just want to know how do you get women to come to you like at clubs , mall etc. What is the secret?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mrright,
I don\'t know that secret. But it\'s not realy necessary that women come to you. The point of pheros is knowing that whoever YOU approach is going to have a more sexual, more positive, perception of you.

[Bruce]

Hi,
Shy Guy 101:
I often use that word approachable, but now that I think about it, I don\'t mean exactly standing somewhere and waiting for a woman to come over. Although that is possible, you are reducing your options drastically. Even if you are very shy, which I always was and still am in some ways, I think you can get by with very safe moves that can help you in many ways other than just getting you laid.
1. As Randy mention, be the good guy. Some women are programmed to look for jerks, but you are better steering clear of them anyway. So, be helpful, friendly, kind etc. etc. Avoid sarcasm, backbiting as means of being considered cool. Women that are into assholes are going to think you are a \"boyscout\" but women who have their head glued on straight and are looking for a long term relationship are going to be drawn to you like a magnet.
I was never very good at picking up women in bars. I would much rather meet women at work, church, the gym; any place I am going to see that same woman again tomorrow without having to ask her out the first time I bump into her.

2. If you are shy and easily buised by a \"turn down\" like I was, don\'t stick your neck out too far. You don\'t need to. Just be Mr, Friendly at work. Be nice to everyone. Practise on the folks who look like they could use a friend; new folks at work etc. The first time you meet, you don\'t have to keep the conversation going very long if you are shy; just a \"hi, you work in accounting, don\'t you?\" or something like that, is enough. Next time the woman might start the conversation, and some women love to chat and will keep it going with just the smallest opening. It takes a pretty strong woman to start up without any opening at all though.
Then just keep your eyes open to see if it looks like the woman likes you. Time and time and time again, after I have been doing my friendly, nonthreatening chat thing with a woman at work, she will say something like \"I really love that new coffee shop over on Oak street. Have you every been there?\" OK, guys... little test here: What do you say then? I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but I used to get brain freeze in situations like that, and just couldn\'t get the words out: \"No, I haven\'t, why don\'t we go there together sometime?\" Still very safe, and you are very likely going to get a big smile and a \"sure\" out of that, and it becomes very easy to make a date.

3. Like Jose said: get the grooming thing together. Check out the back issues of Pheromone News. Grooming comes up very strong as an issue for women these days. Don\'t miss the chance for an easy 5 point advantage on the competition.

Trust me, If you try these things and stick your neck out just a little bit, you will find somebody, and believe me, there is someone for everyone out there.

Good Luck,
Bruce

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Gotta chime in here. If MrRight is looking for something more than a quick\'nasty animal hook-up, clubs are low-percentage places. Like Bruce said, the gym, church, and other group gatherings which repeat regularly, give shy guys a better chance of standing out. Once the pheros have focused their attention on you, girls can observe you interacting in a fairly normal situation, appreciate your subtle good points, and move on from there.

A few years ago (okay, when dinosaurs roamed the planet) I met a cute redhead at a little theater play rehearsal. It was the perfect setup--we\'d be in the same place 3 nights a week all summer, had lots in common, and lots of time to chat when we weren\'t on stage. There were lots of girls there, but this redhead just caught my eye. I eased myself into the conversational group she was part of, and gradually started talking with her (among others). I saw some response--lingering looks, smiles, hair tossing -- then made her the focus of my attention. That\'s what turned out to seal the deal. I found out months later (we were, ah, intimate for two years) that she fell for me during one of our conversations. As she and I were talking, a drop-dead gorgeous girl entered the group. Every male head swiveled and every eye locked on her. But not mine. I never took my eyes off my chosen girl. Even when Miss Drop-Dead asked me a question, I gave her the briefest glance, then addressed the answer to my redhead. She said she fell in love with me that moment. She said she realized I was a man and not a pecker-led little boy...

So I guess the point of this sermonette is to say shy guys stand a far better chance in a repeatable, non-meat-market, group setting. The pheros open the door, looks and grooming gets your foot in the door, but only *the man you truly are* seals the deal.

Writer Guy