View Full Version : reluctance

01-10-2003, 04:29 PM
I have an honest question for the ladies. What would make a female hesitate to show interest in a guy even if she was turned on to the max? The more responses the better. The more honest the better. I think you all know me well enough that I am not going to come up with any sarcastic comebacks ... all answers are welcome, no one needs to mince words ... Cuddles

01-10-2003, 04:34 PM
If you work with him.

If one of your girlfriends is interested in him or just broke up with him.

If you know that he treated another woman badly.

If you know that he would talk about you.

01-10-2003, 04:37 PM

Thought maybe it was \'cuz she heard the guy\'s hung too well~ /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

01-10-2003, 04:50 PM
Ow! I just got Corona up my nose laughing.

TGIF everybody.

01-10-2003, 07:53 PM
or not well enough.

Right Elana?????

01-11-2003, 01:28 AM
If he seemed too uptight.

If he seemed like a player.

If he seemed like a drifter in life.

If he had a lame job.

If he seemed too immature, or too old (behavior-wise).

Though superficial, these would seem like reasons for females to not really go for a guy even when they are turned on to the MAX. Been there, done that.

01-11-2003, 01:35 AM
Thanks for the help puchi.

01-11-2003, 01:37 AM
I don\'t think those are superficial. Too uptight, too mature or immature is about personality fit; the other things are indicators of his values.

01-11-2003, 01:41 AM
So too uptight, mature or immature are personality fit, and other things are about his values.

So what sort of things do you look for or get turned off by as far as values go.

Message to everyone else, everyones values are different and some peoples values may be a turn on in one person and a turnoff to another.

01-11-2003, 01:48 AM
Stinginess drives me crazy. It is a value that I absolutely abhore. Being stingy with money, time, and emotions...it really turns me off. As for turn ons, I like people who like to learn. This means that they are open about new things, new people, and new ideas. If you are a \"learner\" in life, then you might have less difficulty seeing what your own problems are and try to \"learn\" how to get over them. This, I would say, is the best attitude a person can have regardless of gender. And of course, being generous and considerate is a must.

01-11-2003, 01:52 AM
That money thing pops up often, i guess men have the money and a small % of women want men with status and money and want to spend it on him long term. Could explain the view.

01-11-2003, 11:17 AM
He wasn\'t talking specifically about money, I don\'t think. And that money thing works both ways. Some women constantly buy little presents for their boyfriends, who NEVER get them anything.The male quality I love best is if he\'s quietly relaxed and if you can see his mind working in his eyes. I like a quiet guy with no ax to grind who doesn\'t miss a trick and then when he does talk, he\'s right on point.And I love beautiful manners. I notice how a guy treats the waittress (especially if she\'s a horrible waittress) or in a social situation, if someone makes a faux pas, will he say something to smooth it over or smirk and make it worse, does he pick on the weak or give them a hand up, etc., which I guess again goes to generosity of spirit. A kind guy with generosity of spirit can completely infatuate me even if he\'s butt ugly. Oh, I know another reason a woman would hesitate to show interest even if she was turned on to the max. If she thinks she hasn\'t got a prayer to begin with -- the guy\'s a superstar and already has girlfriend wanna-be\'s, etc.

01-11-2003, 11:58 AM
Right on FTR. I totally agree with you. I\'m glad that you saw through my term \"stinginess\". It wasn\'t only about money, but more about the principle of being stingy. I learned that men tend to show their love through monetary spenditure, therefore, if he doesn\'t spend money on you, then he doesn\'t really care about you (even if he is poor, he can still spend within his means). So in a sense, if he\'s really stingy with money, it could be an indication of being emotionally stingy towards you. I hope men can see the difference here.

And I really liked the man you described. I must say that I am attracted to men like that too! Oh, BTW, I\'m a female. ^.^

01-11-2003, 12:03 PM
YAY! Another girl! Welcome, welcome, welcome. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

Gotta love those quiet guys with the knowing eyes. ... /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

01-11-2003, 12:54 PM
>>Gotta love those quiet guys with the knowing eyes. ... <<

Unfortunately that doesn\'t work on this forum. You can\'t see our eyes, and if we\'re quiet you won\'t know we\'re here. So, the good guys just have to find other ways to be noticed on here I guess. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

01-11-2003, 12:55 PM
!! Somehow, you\'ve managed! /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

01-11-2003, 12:56 PM
Don\'t worry...you are very noticed. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

01-11-2003, 02:26 PM
I have noticed how a guy\'s spirit shows up in their words...it\'s cool. You can tell the good guys from the bad guys in a few posts.

01-11-2003, 05:37 PM
Thanks, everyone, keep the comments coming. By the way, this was a hypothetical question and has nothing to do with my current relationship. By the way, does fear figure into this in any way? Sometimes a girl can be sexually turned on to the point of not being able to control it but she\'s afraid of something? Thanks again, praise God that there are women on this site ,,,, Cuddles /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

01-11-2003, 08:12 PM
Afraid of something like what?

01-11-2003, 10:09 PM
Yep, she might be afraid that if she expressed her sexual desire, she will come across as a \"slut\". Ah, the wonderful double standards against women.

01-11-2003, 10:21 PM
Well, you know those sluts. They\'re not nice girls. /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

01-13-2003, 05:58 AM
Who wants \'NICE\' girls?

01-13-2003, 07:43 AM
My ex-husband!

01-13-2003, 07:46 AM
I\'m so sorry to hear that. Would medication help him? /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif