MOBLEYC57
01-02-2003, 07:17 PM
FOR ADULTS ONLY!!! LONG AND A LITTLE DIRTY! /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif
\"The Signifying Monkey\"
Way, way down in the jungle deep,
Lived the world’s most signifying monkey, the world would ever see,
A bad a*s lion stepped on the signifying monkey\'s feet.
The monkey said, \"Motherfu*ka, can\'t you see?
You\'re standing on my g-damn feet!\"
The lion said, \"I ain\'t heard a word you said.\"
\"If you say three more I\'ll be steppin on yo muthafu*kin head!\"
Now, the monkey lived in the jungle, in an old oak tree,
Bullsh*ttin\' a line every day of the week.
It seemed like everyday before the sun would go down,
That lion would kick his as* all through jungle town.
But the monkey got wise and started using his wit,
Start thinking, \"I\'m gonna put a stop to all this old as* kicking sh*t!\"
So he ran up on the lion the very next day,
He said, “I heard about you, over the way!!
Oh, Mr. Lion! Mr. Lion! You’d better beware!
There\'s a big, bad motherfu*ka coming, and he doest’t care!
He\'s somebody that you’ve never seen, and you don\'t know,
He just broke loose from the Ringling Brother\'s Show.\"
Said, \"He talked about your people in a hell of a way.
He talked about your people til my hair turned gray.
He said your daddy\'s a freak and your momma\'s a whore,
Said he spotted her running through the jungle selling a*s from door to door!
Said your sister did the an amazing breathtaking trick!
She got down so low and sucked a earthworm\'s dick.
Said he spotted your niece behind an old oak tree,
Getting screwed like a dog by an old one legged flea!
He said he saw your aunt sitting on a white picket fence,
Giving a crackhead zebra some muthafu*king french.
Then he talked about your mammy and your sister Lou,
Then he start talking about how good your grandmaw could screw.
Said your sister\'s a prostitute and your brother\'s a punk,
And said I\'ll be damned if you don\'t eat all the pussy you see, when you get drunk!
He said he cornholed your uncle and fu*ked your aunt and niece,
And next time he see your grandmaw, he’ll get him another piece.
Said your brother died with the whoopin cough, and your uncle died with the measles,
Your old grandpaw died with a rag chunked up in his ass, and he\'s going on home to Jesus.
And you know your little sister that you love so dear?
He said he fu*ked her all day, for a bottle of beer.\"
So, Mr. Lion, you know what he said, just ain\'t right.
So wherever you run up on the elephant, I want you to be ready to fight.
The lion jumped up in a hell of a rage
Like a young man smoking some serious gage.
He ran up on the elephant talking to the swine.
He said, \"All right, you big, bad motherfu*ka,
It\'s gonna be your as* or mine.\"
The elephant said, “I see your lips moving, but I can’t hear a fu*king word you said,
Don’t get this thirteen planted, upside that head!
You need to find somebody, your own fu*king size,
Cause I’d get on you, and your ass I’d ride!\"
The lion jumped up and made a fancy pass,
But the elephant side-stepped him and kicked him dead on his a*s!
He fu*ked up his jaw, and messed up his face,
Broke all four legs and knocked his a*s out of place.
They fought all night, and all the next day,
And still today, we still don’t know how the lion managed to get away.
But back he came, more dead than alive,
Just to run into the monkey and more of his signifying jive.
The little monkey said, \"Look here partner, you don\'t look so swell,
Looks to me like you caught a whole lot of hell!
You took off running, yupping like a pup,
Now look at you’re a*s! You’re all fu*ked up!!
Your eyes is all red and your a*s is all blue,
I knew in the first place, it wasn\'t sh*t to you!
But I told my wife before you left\'
\"I should have whipped your a*s, my motherfu*king self!\"
Everytime I’m up here with my lady, trying to get me a bit,
Here you come with that King of the Jungle sh*t!
Shut you’re a*s up! Don\'t you dare roar!
\'Cause I\'ll jump out of this tree and whip your dog a*s some more!
And don\'t look up here while you’ll doing your I got my ass kicked pace!
I\'ll piss through the fork of this tree right in your motherfu*kin\' face!\"
Get away from around her, go hide and cry in your den,
Fu*k with me, and I’ll call my elephant friend,
The little monkey got happy; started jumping up and down,
His feet missed the limb, and his ass hit the ground.
Like a ball of lightning and a streak of white heat,
That lion landed on the monkey\'s a*s with all four feet.
With the monkey’s back on the ground, and his dick in the sand,
The monkey went back to his wits, and came up with a plan.
Said, “Mr. Lion, the whole jungle saw you jump me when I slipped and fell,
Let my balls up out of the sand, and I’ll give you hell!!
I can’t breath, and you got my dick in the sand,
Let me get up, and I’ll fight you like a real man!”
Such a challenge, the lion had never been tasked,
So he step off the monkey, and got ready for his a*s!
The monkey dusted his a*s off, and brushed off his legs,
And quickly leaped into the tallest tree, right past the lions head.
The monkey said, “You’re lucky I was hungry, or I would\'ve stayed and kicked you’re a*s,
But beating a fu*ked up old lion, wouldn’t display much class.\"
The monkey flipped the lion a bird, as he swung away,
Lucky that he’d got to live to signify, one more day!
THE END.
\"The Signifying Monkey\"
Way, way down in the jungle deep,
Lived the world’s most signifying monkey, the world would ever see,
A bad a*s lion stepped on the signifying monkey\'s feet.
The monkey said, \"Motherfu*ka, can\'t you see?
You\'re standing on my g-damn feet!\"
The lion said, \"I ain\'t heard a word you said.\"
\"If you say three more I\'ll be steppin on yo muthafu*kin head!\"
Now, the monkey lived in the jungle, in an old oak tree,
Bullsh*ttin\' a line every day of the week.
It seemed like everyday before the sun would go down,
That lion would kick his as* all through jungle town.
But the monkey got wise and started using his wit,
Start thinking, \"I\'m gonna put a stop to all this old as* kicking sh*t!\"
So he ran up on the lion the very next day,
He said, “I heard about you, over the way!!
Oh, Mr. Lion! Mr. Lion! You’d better beware!
There\'s a big, bad motherfu*ka coming, and he doest’t care!
He\'s somebody that you’ve never seen, and you don\'t know,
He just broke loose from the Ringling Brother\'s Show.\"
Said, \"He talked about your people in a hell of a way.
He talked about your people til my hair turned gray.
He said your daddy\'s a freak and your momma\'s a whore,
Said he spotted her running through the jungle selling a*s from door to door!
Said your sister did the an amazing breathtaking trick!
She got down so low and sucked a earthworm\'s dick.
Said he spotted your niece behind an old oak tree,
Getting screwed like a dog by an old one legged flea!
He said he saw your aunt sitting on a white picket fence,
Giving a crackhead zebra some muthafu*king french.
Then he talked about your mammy and your sister Lou,
Then he start talking about how good your grandmaw could screw.
Said your sister\'s a prostitute and your brother\'s a punk,
And said I\'ll be damned if you don\'t eat all the pussy you see, when you get drunk!
He said he cornholed your uncle and fu*ked your aunt and niece,
And next time he see your grandmaw, he’ll get him another piece.
Said your brother died with the whoopin cough, and your uncle died with the measles,
Your old grandpaw died with a rag chunked up in his ass, and he\'s going on home to Jesus.
And you know your little sister that you love so dear?
He said he fu*ked her all day, for a bottle of beer.\"
So, Mr. Lion, you know what he said, just ain\'t right.
So wherever you run up on the elephant, I want you to be ready to fight.
The lion jumped up in a hell of a rage
Like a young man smoking some serious gage.
He ran up on the elephant talking to the swine.
He said, \"All right, you big, bad motherfu*ka,
It\'s gonna be your as* or mine.\"
The elephant said, “I see your lips moving, but I can’t hear a fu*king word you said,
Don’t get this thirteen planted, upside that head!
You need to find somebody, your own fu*king size,
Cause I’d get on you, and your ass I’d ride!\"
The lion jumped up and made a fancy pass,
But the elephant side-stepped him and kicked him dead on his a*s!
He fu*ked up his jaw, and messed up his face,
Broke all four legs and knocked his a*s out of place.
They fought all night, and all the next day,
And still today, we still don’t know how the lion managed to get away.
But back he came, more dead than alive,
Just to run into the monkey and more of his signifying jive.
The little monkey said, \"Look here partner, you don\'t look so swell,
Looks to me like you caught a whole lot of hell!
You took off running, yupping like a pup,
Now look at you’re a*s! You’re all fu*ked up!!
Your eyes is all red and your a*s is all blue,
I knew in the first place, it wasn\'t sh*t to you!
But I told my wife before you left\'
\"I should have whipped your a*s, my motherfu*king self!\"
Everytime I’m up here with my lady, trying to get me a bit,
Here you come with that King of the Jungle sh*t!
Shut you’re a*s up! Don\'t you dare roar!
\'Cause I\'ll jump out of this tree and whip your dog a*s some more!
And don\'t look up here while you’ll doing your I got my ass kicked pace!
I\'ll piss through the fork of this tree right in your motherfu*kin\' face!\"
Get away from around her, go hide and cry in your den,
Fu*k with me, and I’ll call my elephant friend,
The little monkey got happy; started jumping up and down,
His feet missed the limb, and his ass hit the ground.
Like a ball of lightning and a streak of white heat,
That lion landed on the monkey\'s a*s with all four feet.
With the monkey’s back on the ground, and his dick in the sand,
The monkey went back to his wits, and came up with a plan.
Said, “Mr. Lion, the whole jungle saw you jump me when I slipped and fell,
Let my balls up out of the sand, and I’ll give you hell!!
I can’t breath, and you got my dick in the sand,
Let me get up, and I’ll fight you like a real man!”
Such a challenge, the lion had never been tasked,
So he step off the monkey, and got ready for his a*s!
The monkey dusted his a*s off, and brushed off his legs,
And quickly leaped into the tallest tree, right past the lions head.
The monkey said, “You’re lucky I was hungry, or I would\'ve stayed and kicked you’re a*s,
But beating a fu*ked up old lion, wouldn’t display much class.\"
The monkey flipped the lion a bird, as he swung away,
Lucky that he’d got to live to signify, one more day!
THE END.