Turning best friend into lover

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hello,

There is a girl I know since several years, I consider her as my best friend, and she considers me as her best friend.
I really love this girl, but she never seen me as a potential partner, she sees me as her best friend and a \"nice guy\".
She also currently has a boyfriend. I don\'t see her very often also.
I wonder if pheromones could change her point of view on me, and if she could maybe see me as a potential partner for her, and not just a friend.
I\'ve purchased PI/w and NPA. I tried them a few weeks ago (last time we met), but I didn\'t see any noticeable difference.
I used 2 dabs NPA and 3 dabs PI/w.

Any suggestions? Did anyone managed to turn a friend into a lover?

[MOBLEYC57]

Do as you please, but don\'t close out the FACT that.....you can get sex anywhere......FRIENDS.....a rare find. Someone else here can/may help you here on this...just had to say it. Good luck! Tater!!!

[tounge]

First get over your oneitis. You need to meet and date other women. This gal sees you as one of her girlfriends. All the pheromones in the world won\'t change this.

The only thing that may work, is if she sees you with other babes and feels a tinge of jealousy. If she doesn\'t feel that, you are in LBJF LAND WITH HER FOREVER.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Follow the advice above. Also, the moment you try to take the friendship one step further, you\'ll probably lose the friendship. It\'s very difficult to salvage a friendship if both of you are left uncomfortable about having taken (or even brought up) the next step. If the relationship doesn\'t work, you may lose a friend, what\'s more important?

And I would have to say that if she knows you for years, pheromone may not change her perception of you. She\'s already made a place for you in her mind, she\'s less likely to change that, than someone you just met.

[MOBLEYC57]

I\'m with you Ty....he said she was his BEST FRIEND. That tells me that he has yet to learn its true value (BEST FRIEND). I hope that life doesn\'t show him the hard way...tis such an ugly way to learn! /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif

[tounge]

The problem is, he has the hots for her. It is going to bother him to see her with other guys
in a romantic sense. He needs to find some good friends who are men. Then they can go out sarging together, meet other girls and move on from there.

If he developes relationships wih other girls, then he can still be friends with the original chick and deal with it on a stronger level.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hello,

Thanks for your fast and kindly answers, I\'ll try to stress a few points that maybe have been misunderstood.

1) Sex has nothing to do with this
2) I\'ve been dating with other women, and she knows it
3) She doesn\'t feel jealousy, because she see me as a friend
4) We are great friends and have a very deep relationship, we really know a lot about each other. We talked often about this subject even (I mean the fact that I loved her) and she said that she cared a lot about me, but she just couldn\'t help seeing me as a lover. She said that for her love had to do with something that \"happens\", that you feel and you can\'t explain. That\'s also what she told me when I asked her what his partners in the past had that I didn\'t.

About \"The problem is, he has the hots for her. It is going to bother him to see her with other guys\", well I wouldn\'t really call my situation as having \"the hots\", also I\'m not really bothered to see her with some other guy, well this won\'t make me happy too, but it doesn\'t really affects me.

About \"If he developes relationships wih other girls, then he can still be friends with the original chick and deal with it on a stronger level.\" there is really no levels clashes or anything like this, she even said me that she would be really happy to have that feeling (love) for me, but that she didn\'t have it and she couldn\'t help, as it should be something that happens by itself, according to her.

[tounge]

You didn\'t create an attraction of yourself to her.

So the answer to your orignal question is, no pheromones won\'t make her see you in a new light.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Now I\'m no expert, this is just my opinion based on very simular experience. You see I too have a friend (girl) that I\'m in love with but she considers me a best friend (she knows my feelings) after a while I just decided that I would \"wait and see\" I date others and still get together with her and we have a great time together. Maybe someday she will realize that a partner for life with your best friend is the greatest thing that could happen to you. Meanwhile I may just find another Best friend and we fall inlove together.

What I\'m trying to say, I think, is that you can\'t \"make\" someone fall in love with you. Just wait and see.

sorry for the long post, touched a nerve.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I was thinking that some -none would, maybe on the long term, create in her that feeling of attraction that is lacking.

I got it completely wrong?

Also in reply to tounge:
\"You didn\'t create an attraction of yourself to her.
So the answer to your orignal question is, no pheromones won\'t make her see you in a new light. \"

So pheromones work only if used right from the very start?

[tounge]

I\'ve got to hit the road. But in essence, I think that pheromones can help you get some confidence and aid in attracting people you don\'t know yet.

Once someone knows you very well, their mind is pretty much made up, for better or worse. Pheros generally won\'t change that.

I have to run, will be glad to answer any questions later. In the mean time, I sure others can more eloquently explain what you need to know.

[trejoe]

Um I am going threw this right now but the very BIG diffrents between the two situations is youve known this girl for years right and the girl Im talking to Ive only known for 9 months or so The only advice I can really give you is continue to work on the friendship and maybe when shes not dating someone you can make your move then.( I dont mean while shes on rebound)

[Wolfe]

No, now look, i was married 25 yrs, divorced but continued to live with the lady in diff parts of the house, 5 yrs now. Six months ago i started using -mones in my dating other ladies, they HAVE started to affect her(my ex)--just took awhile, and -nol was what seemed to turn the tide(it got her talking to me again and it only got better after that)
now that said, it doent mean it will work in your case and to be honest, i\'m inclined to agreee with some others in that friends are DAMN hard to come by and IF you press this..ya might end up losing it all. I\'d have to ask myself \'is losing her as a friend worth what it?\" Now i know in my case that anser would have to be NO, many fish in rthe sea, rebait and cast out again.

[trejoe]

I think the reason they had an efect on her is maybe because she still loves you or has feelings for you. Just my opinon thow.

[Wolfe]

the point was it took 6 months before they started to show results(on the ex), and she wasnt even the target as i wrote her off 4 yrs ago and wasnt even interested in trying with her any more. (was tired of beating my head against a wall trying to get her back)

[cuddlebear]

Hi, I wanted to add something to the discussion here. It has been stated many, many times on this forum that pheromones are less effective if the person already knows you, and this may be true, but the idea that you can\'t make an impression on someone who already knows you with pheros is FALSE. It may take a while, as it did in Wolfe\'s case, but people\'s impressions can be changed. They are not etched in stone. Give it time if you really want her as a lover. If pheros don\'t do anything the first time, don\'t worry, just persist, meanwhile don\'t rock the boat with the friendship. And down the road, watch for phrases such as \"I never thought of you this way before ... \" Good luck, Cuddles /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Wolfe]

and in the meantime..keep your hook baited and keep fishing

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Which mix do you suggest? What is more important here -none? -nol? I guessed that -none would be the way to go, as I read -nol is useful in getting attention and chatty attitute (something already present obviously).
I have PI/w and NPA. What do you suggest?

[Wolfe]

if you\'re in no hurry go -nol and keep this in mind..-nol converts to -none over several hrs so getting them into a \'chatty\' mood and talking abit isn\'t a bad thing as time is on your side, other hand all you want is a quicky then by all means go -none.

[CptKipling]

There are a lot of people giving you false advice, missinterpreted ideas and such.

In essence, I aggree with Mobes, cuddles and Wolf.

1) A friend is a VERY valuable thing. You need to consider just how important she is to you as a friend before you go past the point of no return.

2) Pheromones can change how you are perceived to others, even those who already know, it just requires an attitude change and persistance. -none and -rone would be the best, but in any combination. Given me a new mix idea /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

3) For her to have romantic feelings there has to be a spark. For there to be a spark the needs to be enough distance between you for it to jump. In other words, back off her a bit, pay her less attention, and create a bit of mistery around yourself. Maybe change how you look a bit at the same time.

[marv14yag]

Your problem, is onitis...You BELIEVE that she is some PERFECT person for you. This is false, there is no PERFECT person for you, lol...The only reason you say this, is you probably believe, we are close, she is a girl, she\'d be perfect...

She doesn\'t like you because you are a. Not attractive to her..
And, b. not right pheromones...

Now, you can use pheromones, which, is true...And they work, but, it\'s complicated.

As for the None. I have used None in front of (girl) friends, and I VERY MUCH have had reactions, more flirting too, but their preception never changed, rather, their mood...Now, I SSUUUUPOSE that, after a while they\'d be like, this guy makes me feel good, etc, so I like him or whatnot...

HOWWWWWWEVER you must realize, that, girls, aren\'t as smart as they would have you believe. They do not CARE..Whether you make her feel hot happy, whatever, does not matter...If she does not like you, she DOOOES NOT LIKE YOU, unless it is some kind of girl that cares little about looks and personality...

Now, LOGIC is against you..Logic would dictate that you do not focus on someone that does not like you..

Now, you can order the pheromones, they would help you out, but, it\'s not with this girl that would help you out..lol

Here, get this though:

She does not like you like THAT.

Pheromones won\'t help that

You are WASTING VALUABLE TIME!

You know what Casanova\'s cure to lost love...? Find another more beautful...

Even though you are going out with all these other girls, you may not CARE...I mean, anyone can go out with someone, anyone can f*** someone... But, if you don\'t care, and you\'re thinking of someone else, it\'s not worthwhile...Stop thinking about this girl, and start thinking about all these other girls you can ACTUALLY hook up with...

Oh, and, you\'re not the only with with a problem like such...Me, and someone else so far...Anyway...My expreience...Seems to dictate it as I have said.

But, yeah, go ahead...Waste your time, buy the pheors, etc....

Even if you ended up hooking up with her, you know how much time you wasted ( you\'re probably thinking...Oh...It would be worth it..)

You know, just as girls are pinged one way...So are you man...

I\'m not even going to tire my fingers typing this...Because, no mater what anyone says you\'re still going to be trapped...

Neverthless...You will eventually learn the hardway...

She does not like you, you are a dumba** for tryhing to hook up with her...Logic...Use logic dumb***

Nothing against you, but, it takes strong words to get through people with a more THICK scull....

Bart

[tounge]

There are not a lot of people giving you false advice. Just a 16 year old cake maker. Even HIS 3rd point was correct.

If you want advice about teenage things than listen to teenie boppers. If you want advice about the realities of life, then pay attention to those who haved lived to be 30,40,50 and older. Nothing beats experience.

[Watcher]

Experience tells volumes, listen to the older forum members.

[CptKipling]

If there one thing that pisses me off the most its someone saying my veiws dont count because I\'m young. Thats total BS.

I bet you had to check to see my age, then thought, hey, thats a good put down. I said myself that experience is extreemly valuable resourse, but just because someone is older doesnt mean that they are \"more right\". You\'ve lived your life and made your mistakes and learned your lessons, and me mine. Who is to say who is right? For sure not you my friend, who needs to resort to personal insults to get his points heard.

[Elana]

CptKipling- There is not a chance in the world that anyone here could guess your age from your posts. You have contributed more than substantial information to this forum. Don\'t waste another second on that clown.

[CptKipling]

Thanks Elana

Im sorry the tone had to be lowered.

[belgareth]

CptKipling

Ignore the age cracks. You are one of the most thoughtful and informative people on the forum. Even us old codgers can learn from you. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I agree with Elana 100%.

CptKipling\'s wise beyond his years.

[upsidedown]

CptKipling

Just consider the source of the comments. Enough said.

[Wolfe]

hum, i wanna get something straightened out here,,i DID NOT say anything about Cpts posts and the meaningfulness of them, my statement had to do with his age and having sex /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif
And i\'m sorry if theres been some kind of mis understanding because of it

[Elana]

Wolfe...this has nothing to do with anything that you said

[upsidedown]

No Wolfe, it had nothing to do with you.

It relates to tounge, spreading his love and goodwill around the forum. He just has this knack for making friends on here. /ubbthreads/images/icons/crazy.gif

[upsidedown]

private75

One nice thing about a forum like this is that you can always find a lot of people willing to help. Ultimately though, you\'re going to get a lot of different ideas about what to do from a lot of different ages and perspectives. In the end this is a healthy thing to have a variety of ideas to draw on. But, ultimately, it\'s going to be up to you to decide which advice, if any, you like best.

With that said, in the end even the older guys are not going to have an ironclad surefire answer for you. In cases of romance, this is not an exact science like math where 1+1 always equals 2. Situations like yours is always a shot in the dark and you win some and you lose some. If there was a perfect surefire answer, a lot of us would have used it a long time ago and would have totally different lives right now. I\'d say just wear your pheromones (they can\'t hurt) and give it your best shot. Good luck.

[CptKipling]

Thanks guys, those kind words mean a lot. And no Wolfe it wasnt to do with you.

I think upsidedown hit the nail on the head. Explaining courtship is like teaching someone to be funny. It just doesnt work, the best thing that can be done is to explain the ideas behind all these methods and tactics, and let someone work it out for themselves.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

The great thing about an internet forum is that nothing matters but the value of your ideas. If you\'re old, young, pretty, ugly, handsome, not-so-handsome, none of those things make a difference. There\'s just as good a chance we older folks have been doing it wrong for decades as there is that the younger folks would err in judgment due to inexperience. This is an egalitarian venue, or should be.

[upsidedown]

You\'ve got it right FTR. I would be considered one of the older guys on here, but I\'ve never really been all that successful with women over the years either (otherwise I never would have come to this forum.) But a lot of these young guys on here have had a lot more success with women at their young ages than I\'ve had in my life. So, I sometimes feel like I can learn things from them.

We\'re never too old to learn.

[CptKipling]

Guys this wasnt Wolfe.

The age and sex thing is unrelated to this. Wolfe is a good bloke and a usefull contributor.

Wolfe: Sorry for all the PM\'s that you received.

[Wolfe]

no reason for you to be sorry, wasn\'t your doing any more than mine /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
simple misunderstanding (not even one between you and i at that..lol) /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Whitehall]

Better to be a young wise man than an old fool.

CptKipling is the former.

[Wolfe]

sigh, that\'s it, i\'m outta here

[MOBLEYC57]

\"Better to be a young wise man than an old fool.\"

Mr. Whitehall Sir - I beg to differ Sir. As Richard Pryor would say...\"There\'s a lot of young wise men....deader than a MOFO!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif You don\'t get old being no fool!\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif It\'s like the boxer that\'s getting his a*s kicked, and suddenly gets knocked down. The ref is starting to count, when the boxer looks up at him and says, \"I don\'t know what you\'re counting for! I \"\"ain\'t\"\" getting up! I\'m going to make sure this fight is over!! In fact, I \"\"ain\'t\"\" getting up until I see them start sweeping up!!!!\" Should he had gotten up, he could have been dead and labeled a young wiseman = foolo. He stayed down, now he gets to live another day = wise man! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif Tater!!!!

[belgareth]

Mobley,

I disagree with you. He sounded like a young wise man by not getting up. If he had gotten up, he might be classed as young and brave. Of course, he may have been wiser to have never walked into the ring in the first place.

[MOBLEYC57]

Bel - It\'s O.K. if you disagree...we\'re cool! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif Now let Mobley operate for you. WISE MAN BY NOT GETTING UP. MAY HAVE BEEN WISER TO HAVE NEVER WALKED INTO THE RING. All that wise thinking will allow him to do what? GET OLDER!!! TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif TATER!!!

[marv14yag]

Umm...

You wouldn\'t have to be OLD to be the wise guy that doesn\'t get up....

Even if you are young, you could stay down, because, you might win, but, you dont\' want to take damage?

Or, yeah, you could be yound, and not walk into the ring in the first place..

Old and young would have nothing to do with it.

The only reason most who are wise who are young is because MOST people are STUPID, but, as they are withering away, they ahve more time to think about what\'s IMPORTANT instead of their own greed..Ie, being old and wise...

However, others have it good off to the start and are young and wise. Either way, if you aren\'t wise now, you may well be as you age.

Bart