MOBLEYC57
12-22-2002, 07:16 PM
How to Tell if You\'re a Grinch
1) You reuse last year\'s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
2) You steal light bulbs from you neighbor\'s outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor\'s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
3) You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
4) You put out last year\'s stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
5) You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale\'s or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
6) You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day, claiming you are stuck in a phone booth. (5 points; 10 if you call from a cell phone),
7) At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
8) You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)
9) After an invitation to a friend\'s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
10) Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points + a prize from a box of 1970 Cracker Jacks)
Evaluate your score on the \"Grinch Scale\" from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are definitley JUST a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny, and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU MONE-AHOLICS!!!! MAY YOUR CHRISTMAS BE FULL OF LOVE, SMILES, WARMTH (YES -- EVEN YOU WATCHER!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif), MAY SANTA BRING SOMETHING TO EVEN THE NAUGHTIEST OF YOU, AND MAY YOUR EVERY CUP OF TEA, HOLD THE SWEETEST LEAVES! WHAT!? YOU DON\'T DRINK TEA!!? WHATEVER!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif KEEP SMILING, BE SAFE, THINK SAFE, AND POST ALL YOUR HITS AFTER THE HOLIDAY SEASONS...NO LIES PLEASE!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif TATER!!!!
1) You reuse last year\'s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
2) You steal light bulbs from you neighbor\'s outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor\'s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
3) You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
4) You put out last year\'s stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
5) You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale\'s or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
6) You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day, claiming you are stuck in a phone booth. (5 points; 10 if you call from a cell phone),
7) At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
8) You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)
9) After an invitation to a friend\'s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
10) Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points + a prize from a box of 1970 Cracker Jacks)
Evaluate your score on the \"Grinch Scale\" from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are definitley JUST a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny, and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU MONE-AHOLICS!!!! MAY YOUR CHRISTMAS BE FULL OF LOVE, SMILES, WARMTH (YES -- EVEN YOU WATCHER!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif), MAY SANTA BRING SOMETHING TO EVEN THE NAUGHTIEST OF YOU, AND MAY YOUR EVERY CUP OF TEA, HOLD THE SWEETEST LEAVES! WHAT!? YOU DON\'T DRINK TEA!!? WHATEVER!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif KEEP SMILING, BE SAFE, THINK SAFE, AND POST ALL YOUR HITS AFTER THE HOLIDAY SEASONS...NO LIES PLEASE!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif TATER!!!!