seadove
12-20-2002, 02:58 AM
There was a businessman who was going on a long
business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious
sort, so he thought he\'d try to get her something
to keep her occupied while he was gone, because
he didn\'t much like the idea of her screwing
someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex
toys and started looking around. He thought about
a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to
another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started
talking to the old man behind the counter. He
explained his situation. The old man said, \'Well,
I don\'t really know of anything that will do the
trick. We have vibrating dildos, special
attachments, and so on, but I don\'t know of
anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
except -- \' and he stopped.
\'Except what?\' the man asked.
\'Nothing, nothing.\'
\'C\'mon, tell me! I need something!\'
\'Well, sir, I don\'t usually mention this, but
there is the \'voodoo dick.\'\'
\'So what\'s this voodoo dick?\' he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled
out an old wooden box, carved with strange
symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
ordinary-looking dildo.
The businessman laughed, and said, \'Big ****ing
deal. It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!\'
The old man replied, \'But you haven\'t seen what
it\'ll do yet.\' He pointed to a door and said,
\'Voodoo dick, the door.\'
The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over
to the door, and started screwing the keyhole.
The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a
crack developed down the middle. Before the door
could split, the old man said, \'Voodoo dick, get
back in your box!\'
The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box
and lay there, quiescent once more.
\'I\'ll take it!\' said the businessman. The old man
resisted, saying it wasn\'t for sale, but he
finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took
it home to his wife, told her it was a special
dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was
say \'Voodoo dick, my pussy.\'
He left for his trip satisfied that things would
be fine while he was gone. After he\'d been gone a
few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She
thought of several people who would willingly
satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo
dick. She got it out, and said, \'Voodoo dick, my
pussy!\'
The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started
pumping. It was great, like nothing she\'d ever
experienced before. After three orgasms, she
decided she\'d had enough, and tried to pull it
out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.
She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how
to shut it off. So she decided to go to the
hospital to see if they could help. She put her
clothes on, got in the car and started to drive
to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of
the dildo.
On the way, another orgasm nearly made her
swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a
policeman. He asked for her license, and then
asked how much she had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
hadn\'t been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was
stuck in her pussy, and wouldn\'t stop screwing.
The officer looked at her for a second, and then
said:
\'Yeah, right......... Voodoo dick, my ass!\'
business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious
sort, so he thought he\'d try to get her something
to keep her occupied while he was gone, because
he didn\'t much like the idea of her screwing
someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex
toys and started looking around. He thought about
a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to
another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started
talking to the old man behind the counter. He
explained his situation. The old man said, \'Well,
I don\'t really know of anything that will do the
trick. We have vibrating dildos, special
attachments, and so on, but I don\'t know of
anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
except -- \' and he stopped.
\'Except what?\' the man asked.
\'Nothing, nothing.\'
\'C\'mon, tell me! I need something!\'
\'Well, sir, I don\'t usually mention this, but
there is the \'voodoo dick.\'\'
\'So what\'s this voodoo dick?\' he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled
out an old wooden box, carved with strange
symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
ordinary-looking dildo.
The businessman laughed, and said, \'Big ****ing
deal. It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!\'
The old man replied, \'But you haven\'t seen what
it\'ll do yet.\' He pointed to a door and said,
\'Voodoo dick, the door.\'
The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over
to the door, and started screwing the keyhole.
The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a
crack developed down the middle. Before the door
could split, the old man said, \'Voodoo dick, get
back in your box!\'
The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box
and lay there, quiescent once more.
\'I\'ll take it!\' said the businessman. The old man
resisted, saying it wasn\'t for sale, but he
finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took
it home to his wife, told her it was a special
dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was
say \'Voodoo dick, my pussy.\'
He left for his trip satisfied that things would
be fine while he was gone. After he\'d been gone a
few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She
thought of several people who would willingly
satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo
dick. She got it out, and said, \'Voodoo dick, my
pussy!\'
The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started
pumping. It was great, like nothing she\'d ever
experienced before. After three orgasms, she
decided she\'d had enough, and tried to pull it
out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.
She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how
to shut it off. So she decided to go to the
hospital to see if they could help. She put her
clothes on, got in the car and started to drive
to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of
the dildo.
On the way, another orgasm nearly made her
swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a
policeman. He asked for her license, and then
asked how much she had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
hadn\'t been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was
stuck in her pussy, and wouldn\'t stop screwing.
The officer looked at her for a second, and then
said:
\'Yeah, right......... Voodoo dick, my ass!\'