Personal Ads Translated

[upsidedown]

I saw some people talking about personal ads vs. bars in another thread. This brought to mind something I came across a while back. It should help us all understand exactly how to interpret what is being said in a personal ad. The first line contains the personal ad description, with the translation listed below.

WOMEN\'S ADS

40-ish
49

Average looking
Has a face like a basset hound

Beautiful
Pathological liar

Emotionally Secure
Medicated

Fun
Annoying

Gentle
Comatose

New Age
All body hair, all the time

Open-minded
Desperate

Outgoing
Loud and embarrassing

Passionate
Sloppy drunk

Redhead
Bad dye job

Reubenesque
Grossly fat

Romantic
Looks better by candlelight

Voluptuous
Very fat

Weight proportionate to height
Hugely fat

Wants Soulmate
Stalker

Widow
Drove first husband to shoot himself



MEN\'S ADS

40-ish
52 and looking for 25-yr-old

Athletic
Watches a lot of NASCAR

Average looking
Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back

Educated
Will patronize the hell out of you

Good looking
Arrogant

Very good looking
Dumb as a board

Honest
Pathological liar

Huggable
Overweight, more body hair than a bear

Likes to cuddle
Insecure mama\'s boy

Mature
Older than your father

Sensitive
Cries at chick flicks

Very sensitive
Gay

Stable
Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

[franki]

Is this meant to be semi-funny or not? /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

Franki

[upsidedown]

It\'s all supposed to be taken as humorous. It shouldn\'t be taken seriously at all. Why? Does the humor lose something in the translation? /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[franki]

No, it is funny, but the introduction was so serious I almost began to think this was not only meant to be funny.

Franki /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[upsidedown]

>>No, it is funny, but the introduction was so serious I almost began to think this was not only meant to be serious. <<

Oh, I see. Well, I was just trying to set it up so people would know what it was about. Maybe that was a bit of overkill. Perhaps I should go back and delete the introduction and let the piece stand on it\'s own.

[tounge]

Quite frankly, most of it is very true.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

No, leave it! It\'s got that good dead pan delivery set up that makes the funny part funnier. It\'s just true enough to make it sardonically amusing.On marital status: Single=married, Divorced=married, Widower=married, Separated=she\'s in the next room, Never been married=living with someone who\'s carrying my baby and expecting a ring this Christmas Spontaneous = manic Open-minded = enjoys sex with barn animals Young looking = bad toupee Free spirit = expects you to pay the check

[seadove]

Franki
This one\'s definately serious and funny.
Serious because people do tend to exagerate their opinions on themselves, and funny because life is funny.