Elana
12-18-2002, 04:24 AM
Dov is a Jewish actor, so down and out he\'s ready to settle for any
acting
gig that he can find. Finally he gets a lead, a classified ad that says:
\"Actor needed to play ape.\"
\"I could do that, \" says Dov.
To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the local zoo. Owing to
mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money renovating the grounds and
improving the habitat, that they can no longer afford to import the ape
they needed to replace their recently deceased one. So until they can,
they\'ll put an actor in an ape suit. Out of desperation, Dov accepts the
offer.
At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being dishonest
by fooling the zoo-goers. And Dov feels undignified in the ape-suit, stared
at by crowds who watch his every move. But after a few days on the job, he
begins to be amused by all the attention, and starts to put on a show for
the zoo-goers: hanging upside-down from the branches by his legs,
swinging about on the vines, climbing up the cage walls, and roaring with all his
might whilst beating his chest. Soon, he\'s drawing a sizable crowd.
One day, when Dov is swinging on the vines to show off to a group of
school kids, his hand slips, and he goes flying over the fence into the
neighboring cage, the lion\'s den. Terrified, Dov backs up as far from the approaching
lion as he can, covers his eyes with his paws, and prays at
the top of his lungs, \"Shma Yisrael Ado-nai Eloheinu Ad-nai echad!\" (Hear
O Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is one!)
The lion opens its powerful jaws and roars, \"Baruch shem k\'vod malchuto
l\'olam va\'ed!\" (Blessed is the name of His glorious kingship forever and
ever!)
\"Shut up, you schmucks,\" a panda bear mutters from a third cage. \"You\'ll
get us all fired!\"
acting
gig that he can find. Finally he gets a lead, a classified ad that says:
\"Actor needed to play ape.\"
\"I could do that, \" says Dov.
To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the local zoo. Owing to
mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money renovating the grounds and
improving the habitat, that they can no longer afford to import the ape
they needed to replace their recently deceased one. So until they can,
they\'ll put an actor in an ape suit. Out of desperation, Dov accepts the
offer.
At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being dishonest
by fooling the zoo-goers. And Dov feels undignified in the ape-suit, stared
at by crowds who watch his every move. But after a few days on the job, he
begins to be amused by all the attention, and starts to put on a show for
the zoo-goers: hanging upside-down from the branches by his legs,
swinging about on the vines, climbing up the cage walls, and roaring with all his
might whilst beating his chest. Soon, he\'s drawing a sizable crowd.
One day, when Dov is swinging on the vines to show off to a group of
school kids, his hand slips, and he goes flying over the fence into the
neighboring cage, the lion\'s den. Terrified, Dov backs up as far from the approaching
lion as he can, covers his eyes with his paws, and prays at
the top of his lungs, \"Shma Yisrael Ado-nai Eloheinu Ad-nai echad!\" (Hear
O Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is one!)
The lion opens its powerful jaws and roars, \"Baruch shem k\'vod malchuto
l\'olam va\'ed!\" (Blessed is the name of His glorious kingship forever and
ever!)
\"Shut up, you schmucks,\" a panda bear mutters from a third cage. \"You\'ll
get us all fired!\"