GIFT OF THE GAB

[seadove]

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some
news. \"I\'ve got some good news and some bad
news,\" The Lord said.

Adam looked at The Lord and said, \"Well, give me
the good news first.\" Smiling, The Lord
explained, \"I\'ve got two new organs for you,
One is called a brain. It will allow you to
create new things, solve problems, and have
intelligent conversations with Eve. The other
organ I have for you is called a penis. It will
give you great physical pleasure and allow you
to reproduce your now intelligent life form and
populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that
you now have this organ to give her children.\"

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, \"These are great
gifts you have given to me. What could possibly
be bad news after such great tidings?\"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great
sorrow, \"You will never be able to use these
two gifts at the same time.\"

[seadove]

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out
in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are
watching the auctioning off of bulls.

The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull
to be auctioned off: \"A fine specimen, this bull
reproduced 60 times last year.\"

The wife nudges her husband in the ribs,
& comments, \"See! That was more than 5 times
a month!\"

The second bull is to be sold: \"Another fine
specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last
year.\"

Again the wife bugs her husband, \"Hey, that\'s
some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!\"

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this
comparison.

The third bull is up for sale:
\"And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365
times last year!\"

The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,
\"That\'s once a day, every day of the year!
How about YOU?!\"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells
back, \"Sure, once a day!... But ask the auctioneer
if they were all with the same cow!!!\"