LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES- USE CONDOMS

[seadove]

A telemarketer was taking a survey. He told the
woman on the line, \"I represent a number of
vaseline companies and we\'re doing a survey of the
many uses of vaseline in the home. Would you mind
taking a few moments and telling me how you use
our product ?\"

She said, \"We use it for cuts, dry skin, chapped
lips and sex.\"

The marketer undaunted pushed on, \"Uh, would you
mind explaining how you use it for sex ?\"

\"Simple. I put it on the door-knob - it keeps the
kids out of the room.\"

[Whitehall]

Of course, we all should know the German word for vaseline - \"weinerschlider.\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

The muse sat on my shoulder yesterday after reading these posts about languages:

Winken and blinken
and donner and blitzen
Girls sit to pee
While the boys, they geshpritzen.

[Whitehall]

I\'d brush that muse off of you, if I were you.

Get a parrot instead.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

A parrot could probably make better doggerel, I agree.

[CJ01]

Whitehall are you sure that word actually exists or are you just fooling about?

[belgareth]

Whitehall\'s joke has been around probably since before he was old enough to understand it. I remember it from my junior high school (or maybe elementary school) days. And that was a long tiome ago!

[CJ01]

? WHAT ?

[belgareth]

der vienerschlider goes along with several other very old jokes from when we were all children.

[Whitehall]

Why don\'t we ask Franki for his opinion? He sprecken sie Deutsch.

[CJ01]

What the F*** are you on about guys? I understand german perfectly well and that word doesn´´t exist as far as I know, maybe I should look in a dictionary just for americans?
CJ /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[franki]

I speak fairly good german, although I am not a native speaker. I must say I never heard the word you are talking about, but then maybe the word was more popular in the past.

I did a little search on the internet. No hits for \"wienerschlider\", \"weinerschlider\" or \"vienerschlider\". Afaik the germans use the word \"Vaseline\". So personally I think the word is JUST an (american) joke.

Franki /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[CJ01]

Yep, it must definetly be a private joke for non.europeans franki. My guess some army guys who had trouble with the language made it up. Am I right guys?

[Whitehall]

Yes, it is a joke. An old joke. But people STILL laugh.

[franki]

I don\'t even understand why you would laugh at it. I guess it is for Americans only. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

Franki /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Whitehall]

OK, I\'ll explain....

\"Weiner\" as in weiner or hot dog, a long cylindical meat sausage, slang for penis

\"schlider\" as in slide or slippery ...

Ergo, vaseline (\"weinerschlider\") is a sexual lubricant.

Maybe it makes more sense spoken with a phoney German accent.

[Bruce]

Whitehall,
I think you mean \"wiener\" for hotdog.
Bruce

[CJ01]

It would make more sense if you spoke no german at all Whitehall /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
Weiner- you mean WIENER I presume
Schlider - not a word really

Okay then I hope everyone else has a good laugh about your joke:p CJ

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I thought it was cute and hadn\'t heard it before.

[CJ01]

Right then sexys, I´m off to bed witout lubricants - I just don´t need those /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif. But that´s cause I´m sleeping alone now /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif
see you CJ /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Whitehall]

My German spelling IS worst than my English spelling. You would have thought that the semester class in German in high school would have stood me better.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

G\'night then, sexy.

If you\'re sleeping alone, at least hog the bed and enjoy it. /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It actually is pretty funny. Wiener, as in penis. Schlider, as in making lubrication for the penis during sex.

But please DON\'T use Vaseline to lubricate latex condoms. Then, more prone to break!!!

[Xehupatl]

okay I see you\'re in kind of a pickel, so I\'m gonna throw in some of my native-german-speaking-punk-ass wit into the mix:

I have never heard of the word \"wienerschlieder\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
at least in Austria, it doesn\'t exist (to my knowledge). It\'s most probably some Anglicism, just like the word \"Chris Kringel\" for \"Christ Kind\" or something like that.
Wiener is some kind of a sausage in the USA; however, the word \"Wiener\" means, literally, \"Viennese\" (the capital of Austria is Wien [Vienna]). I hate sausages /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif, but I can assure you, if it\'s got Austria written all over it, it\'s got to be good!

\'schlieder\' I don\'t get either.

Oh man, you\'ve got some [cencored]-up sense for language, over there /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

good luck

ste

[Whitehall]

Perhaps its not Politically Correct to poke fun at another\'s language but I always thought that the Germans were tough enough to take it. Guess I was wrong, even the Germans have a delicate sense of self!

It is a completely made-up word, done just for the humor (at least in American eyes). You will not find it in any dictionary and I hope one never does. At least that\'s my excuse for spelling it wrong!

Trust me, most Americans do see the naughty humor in it - I\'ve been telling this one since I was 12 and it seldom fails in impolite company.

Are there any dumb American jokes over in Europe?

[franki]

Whitehall, maybe Xehupatl reacted like this because he is from Vienna. That means he is a \"Wiener\" (meaning someone from Vienna, or someone living in Vienna). /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif


Franki

[Xehupatl]

nope I come from near vienna, though .. just about 30km away /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif And to be honest, I don\'t particularily like the Viennese /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif
sorry my post might have sounded a bit ... um .. rude; plese substitute [cencored] with \"thumbs\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

you know, I still don\'t get the weinerschlieder, though /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

ste

[CptKipling]

Pleanty of dumb American jokes /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif