seadove
12-05-2002, 11:42 PM
Why Men Can\'t Win
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don\'t work enough, you\'re a lazy, worthless bum.
If she has a boring, repetitive job with low pay, it\'s exploitation.
If you have a boring, repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it\'s favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it\'s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it\'s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it\'s male indifference.
If you cry, you\'re a wimp.
If you don\'t cry, you\'re insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you\'re a chauvinist pig, you bastard!
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she\'s a liberated, independent woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn\'t enjoy, that\'s domination.
If she asks you, it\'s a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you\'re vain.
If you don\'t, you\'re a fat, lazy slob.
If you buy her flowers, you\'re after something.
If you don\'t, you\'re a thoughtless, inconsiderate shmuck.
If you\'re proud of your achievements, you\'re an egotist.
If you\'re not, you\'re not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she\'s tired.
If you have a headache, you don\'t love her anymore, and you\'re obviously sleeping around.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don\'t work enough, you\'re a lazy, worthless bum.
If she has a boring, repetitive job with low pay, it\'s exploitation.
If you have a boring, repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it\'s favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it\'s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it\'s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it\'s male indifference.
If you cry, you\'re a wimp.
If you don\'t cry, you\'re insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you\'re a chauvinist pig, you bastard!
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she\'s a liberated, independent woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn\'t enjoy, that\'s domination.
If she asks you, it\'s a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you\'re vain.
If you don\'t, you\'re a fat, lazy slob.
If you buy her flowers, you\'re after something.
If you don\'t, you\'re a thoughtless, inconsiderate shmuck.
If you\'re proud of your achievements, you\'re an egotist.
If you\'re not, you\'re not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she\'s tired.
If you have a headache, you don\'t love her anymore, and you\'re obviously sleeping around.