View Full Version : I have a date

11-21-2002, 06:14 PM
I talked to a female friend today about my love interest (read emotional train-wreck girl). Anyways somehow talking to a real live woman about it makes more sense than jabbering on about it with my forum family. No offense. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif
Now she said: \"call her and say I WANT to take YOU out to dinner\" don\'t ask \"can I\", or say \"maybe\", or hesitate. Well I did that and she was verrry accepting. Couldn\'t seem to put her thoughts together. She accepted and was clearly very excited. I said \"I\'m picking you up at 8:00\" and she replied with OK, \"I get home at five so if you want to pick me up earlier, or if you want to call me when you\'re ready, or just call me any time, , or you can come by earlier if you want, or you can call me and then come by because I\'ll be bored until you come, or call me when you\'re free and then....\" it carried on like that for a while but you get the point. hmmm - you people must think I\'m completely bonkers by now. Anyways - I wanted to share so.... there it is.

I\'m thinking it will be a good cool-scent night. low level phero\'s and a nice fresh scent to boot. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

PS - My fem friend also told me why we (men) can\'t understand women. But I promised to keep it a secret /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

11-21-2002, 06:18 PM
god told me with a big booming voice from the sky what the secret to life is and the winning numbers for next week were for every state lottery but I am keeping it a secret.

see how it feels? tell US!!!!

11-21-2002, 06:38 PM
HEHEHHEH I was waiting for it - 2 views 1 reply.
OK here is the \"big secret\" she told me.
Women don\'t know what the hell they want 99% of the time. They think they do one minute, but change their mind 20 mins later. \"\"\"\" We can\'t figure them out because they can\'t figure themselves out. If a girl likes a guy one minute and is head over heels. 20 minutes later she\'s maybe not so sure he\'s really that great. the next day he\'s the king [censored]. And then by sundown on day two he is prince charming again. All we as men need to know is women are crazy and we have to let them be that way. \"\"\"\" I put that in quadruple quotes because it is taken that way from my fem. friend. Who by the way gave a little hint that she\'s enjoying the fact that I never kissed her (in a flirtatious way) she made it sound like she thinks I\'m keeping her guessing... never saw it that way but I guess the pheros got to her. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
Sorry to all the women on the forum - but I had to let your secret out. Now we as men can rest assured that it\'s a simple case of \"women are crazy\" LOL /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

11-21-2002, 06:55 PM
well, not crazy, we just have the right to change our minds as often as we want !!!!

your friend is right though, IMO. I\'m not sorry the secret is out, I think the sooner men know this and accept it, life is better for all /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

11-21-2002, 09:30 PM
LOL! Good one. lmao.

- Krish

11-21-2002, 09:35 PM
So we know the problem now. So whats the solution?

- Krish

11-21-2002, 09:39 PM
congrats guy, and just remember to maintain that attitude - your female friend gives very good advice!!!

11-21-2002, 11:51 PM
It\'s amusing and frustrating to read this stuff. This girl is crazy about you. Two things make it clear to me: 1) she cooked you dinner, 2) she lost her mind completely when you got manly and asked her for a date. Her reaction cracks me up.

Ladies, you tell me if I\'m wrong, maybe this is just me - there\'s almost nothing more anxiety producing than cooking dinner for a guy and you don\'t even undertake it unless he\'s REALLY special. Just the thought of it makes my stomach clutch.

She blew her cool completely when you asked her out -- I bet five minutes after she got off the phone with you, she was on the phone to a girlfriend ,moaning about the stuff she said, all of which meant \"I\'m so excited, can\'t WAIT!\" It makes me laugh - she sounds very young - you don\'t say that stuff out loud. You took her so by surprise she blew her cool.

The strength of her reaction to your asking her on a real date should tell you something. She wants to be courted. She wants real dates where you call and ask her out and come pick her up and take her someplace nice. She has you cast in the role of Prince Charming and I don\'t think she\'s gonna fall into line until you play it out for her. I think she has stars in her eyes over you. I think she likes you so much that if she had sex with you and then wasn\'t respected in the morning, it would be so devastating that the fear of that is what\'s keeping her from going any further.

I think if you can do the romantic gentleman thing by the book for a little while, and let her know in words, looking into her eyes, being very convincing, that you really, really like her, you should be home free.

Send flowers in the morning. Even just one rose. Call the next day after the date to tell her how much you enjoyed being with her. She\'ll go into orbit. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

This should really be a piece of cake, if it is what it looks like it is. Just be aware you\'ve been cast in a role, and play it out. Easy, \'cause the script\'s already there.

I think this is why we appear to hate you one day and love you the next. We want you to make us feel a certain way so we can be comfortable having sex with you (we like it as much as you do). To the extent you make us feel that way and do the things we need done to increase our comfort, we love you. To the extent we signal frantically what we want, and don\'t get it, we hate you.

Don\'t write back and tell me that didn\'t make sense. Makes perfect sense to me.

But then, I\'m female... lol

11-22-2002, 12:03 AM
Good god, im trying to keep them away at the moment - the more i try (really trying to get my university course finished, studying hard and focusing on myself and being selfish beyond no belief. Yet the more a man tries the more i get the yappy flirting women out in the outer the more they keep trying, im enjoying the single life the only consolation is the fact women like to be asked out and when i play dumb and ignore it then they get upset oh well im happy women dont ask me out and at the moment things are good, i dont have to brush them off

Lots of stuffing around saved all round.

11-22-2002, 01:07 AM
RscuRngr, it just occurred to me it might help if you could get ahold of a copy of something like \"The Rules.\" I think that\'s the title of the book - a couple of women put out this book about the rules for hooking a guy -- maybe you could get a handle on what this girl is expecting. You\'d do better with an etiquette book like Emily Post or The Rules than with the advice written by guys. Especially the awful bull they write about wait 10 days to call, etc. Call the next day to tell her how much you enjoyed the date. That\'s old school proper etiquette.Is ETWG a military brat, by any chance? An officer\'s daughter?The good thing is that it appears somewhere in all the confusion you two agree on one thing: it\'s serious. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

11-22-2002, 06:47 AM
I remember my sister got a copy of The Rules once - we were laughing because it seemed so outdated. Things along the lines of wear a petticoat under your skirt....
She\'s not a brat, but she is an only child. She\'s definately used to getting her way. It is sophomoric behavior for a 24 yo woman, but I think it\'s fun to find someone who finally shows interest when I thought all was lost. I\'m still amazed at the subtle difference between \"I want to take you out\" and \"If you\'re free this weekend would you like to go out\" this is something I overlooked for far too long. This will be an interesting evening - I\'ll tell you all about it in the morning.

11-22-2002, 07:30 AM
My dad was an officer in the Navy so I grew up on bases with other military dependents. There are lots of protocols, and, at least when I was growing up, the boys were indoctrinated with some pretty formal rules about how to conduct themselves with women, which \"civilian\" guys don\'t seem to know a thing about. For example, that the man should always walk on the street side and have you walk on the inside of the sidewalk. To this day it feels funny to me to walk with a guy and not have him stay on the street side. I was hoping maybe her dad was in the service and she was used to a certain kind of behavior.

Oh, well.

Yeah, \"I want to take you out\" beats hell out of \"if you\'re free...\" /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif Good luck, can\'t wait to hear about it.

11-22-2002, 09:01 AM
\"Good god, im trying to keep them away at the moment\"

Good god, I wish I had such problems. /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

11-22-2002, 09:42 AM
In s. america and the caribbean if a man lets his woman walk on the street-side of the side walk it is considered a pimp offering a prostitute. I was taught that by a venezuelan woman - she insisted on walking on the in-side - I could definately understand when she explained why!

11-22-2002, 11:05 AM
Man, if this chick is a \"Rules\" girl, bail NOW!!! You will be miserable if you don\'t.

11-22-2002, 12:24 PM
The point about women not knowing what they want is dead on. Sometimes they think they do - for a while. Most women recognize this about themselves and either go with it or get anxious about it.

What women are looking for from men, I find, is leadership. That\'s a mixture of foresight, confidence, competence, and will. You, as a man, need to know what you want and how you\'re going to get it. Once you\'re square with yourself, then women tend to tag along and WANT to be your follower.

I hate to bring up an unpleasant historical fact, but during the 1930\'s both Hitler and Mussolini were considered extremely sexy men by large numbers of women. Obviously, being a world figure bent on world domination is the acme of ambition and is not a role many of us are comfortable with, but there is a lesson for us there. Mussolini would know what time to pick up his date and where they were going to go for dinner.

The answer is to be clear with yourself then let women compete to be your follower. Women have a range of behaviors too. At one end is the complete submissive, the ones that like rough rule and a strong hand. At the other are women who will challenge you, think for themselves, and need a minimum of guidence. Some women will be one in the bedroom and the other in the parlor. There is also a confused group that want to dominate their men but are unhappy if they succeed.

11-22-2002, 12:56 PM
Whitehall, such a good post. I\'m so glad to hear someone address the d/s aspects, especially.

11-22-2002, 01:24 PM
I was thinking of wearing half of an SoE gel-pack on the wrists/arms, and a spray of cool scent on the neck for my rendezvous .... hmmm any eyedeers?

11-22-2002, 04:03 PM
went with that + 1 drop AE in my hair gel.... will report back with the results.
Out the door with my fingers crossed /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

11-23-2002, 12:54 PM
Date bombed. Game over. Not fun anymore so I\'m not playing with her again.

11-23-2002, 01:07 PM
Wow , I feel sorry for ya.
You now have the chance to move on with your life. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

11-23-2002, 04:03 PM
That sucks, babe. I\'m so sorry to hear it. It\'s her loss.

11-23-2002, 04:11 PM
Yeah man, I feel your pain. It\'s her loss though. If it makes you feel any better, I had some courage built up today (amazingly.) and tried asking one of my friends out and she said she didn\'t like me that way and just wanted to be good friends with me. *sighs* Oh well, there\'s my que for this year anyway.

- Krish

11-23-2002, 04:36 PM
I tried to slip my collar and be bad tonight, too. Invited this guy over who answered a personal ad, we\'d been IM-ing for a couple of says. He brought over a movie and after we got settled down to watch it, I packed a bowl with the crumbs I have left. Two hits and he was literally a mouth-breathing dummy the rest of the night. When the movie was over, I went to the rest room. Came out and he\'s watching The Weather Channel, slouched down on the couch, mouth hangin open, eyes glued to the set. I kicked him out and came here. The company\'s better.Another cozy night, just me and b.o.b.(battery operated boyfriend). --- b.o.b. says \"hi\" to Rosie, by the way lol

11-23-2002, 05:15 PM
I\'m really sorry to hear that FTR. What an idiot he is, he lost himself a great woman! You deserve better than that. :\\ If I ever get lucky enough someday to get myself a date, the girl I\'m with would never see my attention just drift away like that. I\'d be all into her and interested to know more about her. Well anyways, good night FTR.

- Krish

11-23-2002, 05:23 PM
You\'ll have dates and they\'ll be lovely. If you weren\'t quite so young, I\'d be hitting on you myself.

\'night, Krish, thanks for the kind words.

11-23-2002, 05:28 PM
After thinking about it I\'m glad the date bombed. I got \"over it\" altogether, whereas before I was clinging for a shred of hope. At least now it\'s over and done with. And if she can\'t appreciate me showing up for a date with my shirt ironed (first time I\'ve ironed in 3 years) and flowers in hand then she doesn\'t deserve my company.

FTR - I don\'t puff-puff anymore, so if a woman gave me a bowl I\'d be a mouth-breathing idiot too... if for some reason I decided to accept.

11-23-2002, 05:33 PM
Yeah, I have to agree that if she doesen\'t appreciate that, she isn\'t worth your time. I have a question, and it\'s gonna be a stupid one, but oh well, but what are you talking about when you say the word \"bowl\" ? I don\'t understand that.

- Krish

11-23-2002, 05:42 PM
how old are you again KRTEL? been to college yet? When you know the meaning of kind, crumbs, schwag, bowl, and diggity, you\'ll know what we\'re talking about - or PM me for a direct explanation.

11-23-2002, 05:42 PM
I hear ya RR. We talked about it beforehand and he said he liked that and would like to.It\'s not just that. This guy was like standing in front of a mirror. If I moved, he moved. If I laughed at the movie, he laughed at the movie. If I lit a cigarette, he lit a cigarette. If I didn\'t move, he didn\'t move. I had indications that he might be a \"follower\" type but thought I\'d give him the benefit of the doubt as he also seemed nice and down to earth, friendly and open. But my personality can\'t be happy with a guy like that. I wanted some action tonight and I\'m sure if I\'d reached over, took off his glasses, took his face in my hands and kissed him, I would have had it, but it\'s not worth it to me if I have to make the first move. I made a lot of signals and gave lots of opportunities. He scooted slightly closer to me on the couch and that was it. That\'s not an aggressive enough guy for me; it would just never work. I want somebody I don\'t have to try to change to be happy with. This was a passive, submissive kind of guy. Not my match. Or maybe he just didn\'t like me. But that\'s not the feeling I got. He was mesmerized by my chest and his eyes followed me everywhere whenever I got up and moved around. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif RR, I pm-ed Krish.

11-23-2002, 05:47 PM
I just turned 17 a month ago, why? I go off to college in 6 months. I figured it out now though. Thanks.

- Krish

11-23-2002, 05:48 PM
hmmm - lack of confidence on his part? Maybe you need a different phero mix LOL. Remember that we as men have to be careful with what we do these days. We\'re so afraid of reading the \"signals\" the wrong way and being accused of un-invited sexual advances. Women\'s lib is fine, but christ, now we\'re just twice as confused! I am woman, hear me roar, and don\'t you dare touch me.... but if you don\'t take me know and f*ck the shite out of me you\'re not aggressive enough. It makes my head spin.

11-23-2002, 05:50 PM
Glad to hear it Krish. This is the \"undeclared\" minor that you will be studying in college /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif along with keg-tapping 101.

11-23-2002, 05:54 PM
The point is, you should Do What YOU want. And don\'t be afraid to be slapped down for it. So you make a move and get rebuffed. You live to make a move another day and find out it\'s not the end of the world.If I didn\'t know from experience there are guys who, if they want me, will show it, I might fool around with the guys who can\'t get up the nerve because they\'re afraid of my rejection or afraid of looking stupid or afraid of whatever they\'re afraid of, but those guys are all caught up in their heads. A guy who knows he wants me will make a move. A guy who wants me to take all the risk is not a gentleman...I\'m a bitch, I admit it (like anybody\'s surprised). But a bitch needs a strong hand, not someone she has to spoon feed... I\'m amending this ... it\'s not even a matter of whether or not I\'m a bitch. I wasn\'t mean to the guy in the slightest. I said earlier I \"kicked him out.\" I couldn\'t sit there any longer watching him zone in front of The Weather Channel. I patted him on the leg and asked if he was ok, suggested maybe he needed to go home and get some sleep. He said uh, ok, yeah, and got up and ambled out, apologized that he was so out of it. We had joked around that it didn\'t matter what movie he brought over because we wouldn\'t be watching it anyway. ... he had a good idea ahead of time that I wanted to play, and ostensibly, that\'s what he was interested in, too. My apartment is immaculate, I\'m not kidding, there is not one surface anywhere you couldn\'t eat off of. Gleaming floors, wood you can see yourself in, a couple of candles lit, the overhead lights off and the indirect lighting on, I was completely groomed head to toe, clean, silky, shining hair, a little makeup carefully applied, perfect manicure, perfect pedicure, soft, and scented. I think it was clear I made some effort. I complimented him on his choice of movie. I tried to start conversation but he wouldn\'t hold up his end. I took my slipper off, he was sitting fairly close, I was sitting next to him in a half lotus and the sole of my clean, soft, bare foot with red toenail polish facing toward him, (I\'m describing my foot because I want you to know it\'s not like it was funky) and I start absent mindedly rubbing my foot. How easy it would have been for him to say, \"Here, let me do that.\" How easy it would have been to move from foot rub to leg rub to home free. Nothing. I get up and go to the bathroom, come back, he\'s moved closer on the couch to where I was sitting. I sit back down and pick my brush up and brush my hair while watching the movie. Again, it\'s a prop. It would have been easy for him to say any number of things, does that feel good? yes. Do you want me to brush your hair? yes. Do you like your neck rubbed? yes Do you like your back rubbed? yes do you like your front rubbed? even better ... etc. Nothing.Several things went through my mind. I could have done the incendiary approach and sit myself on his lap, take off his glasses and ask him if he wants to play. I could have done the hold his face and kiss him. I could have put my bare foot in his crotch and asked him to rub it.But why? I can wait. I\'d rather wait than have to go through all that. I just would be more comfortable with someone more direct. It just didn\'t click, I guess. No big deal. The movie really was good. I\'d like to see it again.RR, how did Emotional Train Wreck Girl ruin what started out to be such a great night? if you feel like talking about it...

11-23-2002, 10:45 PM
well you know what they say:

marijuana in your brain
takes more time to ejaculate
roll up a spliff and throw away the day
with marijuana in your brain ....

11-24-2002, 01:42 AM
FTR - It sounds like you were giving hints even I couldn\'t miss! Damn I\'m getting horney just reading your post!!
as for my date story: OK here goes.
I told her (the night before) I\'d pick her up at 8:00. I called at 7:10 and she was asleep taking a nap! That threw me off, I had been primping for an hour, and I DON\"T PRIMP!! I showed up with flowers in hand (the thanksgiving bouquet) and she gave me a little hug along with \"I\'ve gotten more flowers in the last month than I have in my whole life and they are all from you\" which made me feel good. As soon as we got in my car it went down-hill. She started talking about other guys she dated, failed relationships,chemistry that wasn\'t there in other guys, etc...this carried on through dinner. We got to the restaurant and she knew the steward (??) and had a lengthy chat without bothering to introduce me. (can we say awkward!) the service sucked the food was OK, and then she saw someone from work she knew who stopped by the table with his girlfriend. My date chatted with him, and I chatted with his girlfriend (would have had a shot at her too /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif ). I basically suffered through dinner just wanting to get the hell out of there. Long story short: I took her home and she said \"I\'d invite you in but I have to take a shower and get ready to go out tonight\" WTF!!!!!! She couldn\'t be bothered to shower and get ready for a date??? This is a girl who flip-flops between being totally stoked that I asked her out and then ends up being a total waste of my time. Per my last post on this thread: GAME OVER! This little girl is a waste of my effort. I\'m glad I did it b\'cause now I can move on, but I still feel like a sucker. Someday I\'ll find a woman who appreciates the fact that there is chivalry in my blood, and love in my soul.

11-24-2002, 05:51 AM
I can\'t tell you how much I don\'t like this girl.

11-24-2002, 06:13 AM
Read Doc love\'s articles on http://www.askmen.com (\"http://www.askmen.com\") you could have avoided this whole thing from the very beginning.

11-24-2002, 07:14 AM
See my take on this is there are two kinds of woman. The type of woman who has her head screwed on right and appreciates someone who is a gentleman as you tried to be (these are in the minority unfortunately - don\'t know whether it\'s always been this way but it seems lately a lot of the gals are really \"flakey\" - this crosses all ages too, not just the younger ones as I\'ve experienced this flakiness with one or two somewhat older women), and then the other type of woman who unless you really have a good grasp of the \"game\", you will never succeed with them.

From my perspective it\'s pretty clear that if she made that comment about the flowers, and hadn\'t even showered, told you she was going out after your \"date\" and would shower for that, well it\'s pretty clear that in her eyes you had \"supplicated\" too much, and she had no \"respect\" for you as a result.

When for a brief moment you were very direct ((when you asked her out on the date directly/confidently, behaving like a classic super-confident dominant alpha) she obviously responded very positively to this dynamic, but then she probably took into account all the other stuff as she thought about it (e.g. when she said she\'d never received so many flowers in a month - not good at all!! Too supplicant for this type of woman), and subconsciously had you categorised already, knew she had you if she wanted (=no challenge) hence the total lack of respect.

Next time with a woman like that never supplicate (no flowers until she\'s done something to really deserve them etc.) , call her on her bs, and if she\'s chatting up other guys during the course of the date, stand up, pay for your dinner and walk out. Women like this will walk all over you if you let them, and while it\'s classy to see the date through to the end, sometimes you just gotta make it clear to her that you have self-respect and won\'t tolerate this bs.

Anyway, read the stuff Jose suggested and check out some of the other often mentioned websites if you want to learn how to deal with women like this. Unfortunately, since they are in the majority, unless you learn this stuff, you will lead a very sporadic and unsuccessful dating life as I did for years until I made some changes to how I approached this kind of woman.

11-24-2002, 07:23 AM
God, I swear I hate to read posts like that. I can\'t argue with you because obviously this girl was as rude as RR says she was and obviously, Proteus, you\'ve been through the mill with some really rude women, but ... damn, sam. The thing is that you\'re then forced to be rude in return, and if you don\'t like yourself when you\'re rude, seems like you just end up cranky all around. Proteus, I so agree with you and your recommendations. I\'ve never heard of the kind of disrespect RR got shown and she would have more than deserved his getting up and walking out, and the kiss off was UNREAL, what a little bitch.But are you really telling me that\'s how most women treat most men?I guess my question is, if you see that someone\'s going to disrespect you just because they can, they have no standards of behavior for themselves, no code of honor. so to speak, why would you want to deal with them at all?I err too much on the side of \"no second chance,\" but ... reading these posts I\'m thinking maybe some guys could stand to learn to cut their losses sooner, too.

11-24-2002, 08:01 AM
Well FTR I\'m in NY and hangout at the clubs/bars etc in the city practically every weekend, and unfortunately I see a lot of the ladies who are in this social scene who are like this. I don\'t get this disrespect (anymore I should lol) because from the getgo I present myself a certain way and have never had to walk out on a date because women like this know who they can do this stuff too without being called on it.

As to your specific question, why would I want to deal with this kind of woman? Well, it\'s simple - I don\'t intend to live a celibate life while I wait to find a decent woman, so I figure I will control the situation, control the dynamic so that I get what I want. I will play things very straight if the lady I\'m interested in shows me that she is non-flaky, honest etc. but if she is into all the bs, then I know how to handle her too and have no compunction about using all the \"skills\" I\'ve learnt to seduce her. There was a time when I said I would just wait for Ms.Right, but I went through a period where I didn\'t get laid for almost 2 yrs. coz even the ladies I figured were \"nice\" ended up doing the LJBF stuff, so that\'s when I began looking at some of those seduction sites, looked for phero sites etc. and now I can honestly say that I can very confidently deal with this kind of woman, and now it\'s the reverse - they chase me rather than vice versa.

you seem about as direct/non-flakey as women go FTR and I say this as a real compliment, but there are a lot of women who are so screwed up they don\'t have any idea of what they want from one moment to the next, will be friendly, all over you one minute, then next minute wonder what ever gave you the idea that they were interested in you in a sexual/romantic manner.

Let me give you an example. This gal I dated once (gorgeous gal, very tall, long legs, a redhead as a matter of fact lol) in college - typical NY kinda gal likes to club/movies etc. We go out on a lunch date, then we go out on a second date to dinner, a movie, she\'d been getting very close to me lots of mutual touching etc, no kissing yet, then as we are waiting for the movie to start she changes the subject to tattooes, tells me she has one. I don\'t say much, just something like \"interesting\" and she asks me if I want to see it. I say sure, why not, and figure maybe it was on her arm covered by her jacket. Well, she proceeds to unzip her pants, then slides them down, she\'s not wearing any panties and so is completely naked, and shows me the tattoo which is right next to her privates of privates (being polite here lol) . So of course I\'m stunned she\'d do this on the second date but I keep my cool, she lets me take a good look, asks me if I want to touch it which I do, then she zips them back, we watch the movie and I figure I have more than enough indications of interest and figure to try and make some moves that night and so later as we leave and go to my place I move in to kiss her etc. and she draws back and starts giving me that whatever made you think I wanted more than just to be friends crap :-) - (if I knew what I know now this would never have happened) and says I really like you etcetc. but lets just be friends okay, hangout, don\'t want to get \"involved\" right now. This to me is about as flaky as things get but this is the kind of bs that all too often gals around here will pull so unless you know how to maneuver, well you\'re pretty done for even before you get through the first date.

11-24-2002, 08:20 AM
No wonder some guys are \"confused.\" Dealing with psychos would kinda make you confused. I\'ve been sitting here feeling so guilty for cheering RR on -- I was completely convinced this girl was nuts about him -- then she pulls this stunt -- now I\'d really like to smack her around a little.

I hear what you\'re saying about if you wait for the right one, you\'ll be celibate, and you don\'t want a celibate life. My life is kind of celibate -- I don\'t get to have sex anywhere near as often as I\'d like to -- because I haven\'t made my mind up that it\'s important enough to me to have to deal with the stuff guys do with a woman who\'s direct, which is, either treat her with complete disrespect for being honest about her needs, or talk a bunch of crap and then get scared and do nothing. I\'m embarassed to tell you all the stuff Movie Guy wrote to me in IM\'s about what he likes to do, how giving he is in bed, etc etc. -- he\'s in his 30\'s and we even had a discussion wherein I asked him why he wanted to date a woman older than himself, did he have a Mrs. Robinson fantasy? because I\'m NOT Mrs. Robinson, I like a take-charge kind of guy ... I was very clear, or thought I was -- it\'s been almost two months now since I\'ve been touched by human hands, much less had sex, and it\'s to the point now I dream about it and I\'m feeling physically bad from deprivation -- Studly Do Right\'s on the west coast until the 30th, so no hope there -- and I decide out of desperation to take somebody up on his offer ... and then get led on by some guy who can\'t walk his talk. What happened to me is maybe a version of this girl who pulled her pants down and then said she just wanted to be friends. Mixed messages is putting it mildly. And that kind of thing happens a lot, which is why I don\'t take too many men up on their offers. Too often, it\'s a lot of talk. Or they want to treat me like a whore (and I don\'t even get paid...lol).

I\'m beginning to think maybe I\'m wrong about these how-to-deal-with-the-bitches sites. Maybe it really is as bad as you guys say it is.

Let\'s get T-shirts made up that say \"If you can\'t bite, don\'t growl.\"

11-24-2002, 09:37 AM
FTR - Thanks for all of your posts, I enjoy hearing your opinion on stuff. Like I said I\'m glad at least I can get this girl out of my system. I would be a little more concerned about how I handle women if I hadn\'t gotten laid a few times /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif over the summer. I still have a girl calling me from california, and I haven\'t seen her in three months! I think this situation was a fluke. There was some history with ETWG that goes back about 6 months. It wasn\'t until recently that I really liked her. This is strange for me because I rarely let myself get emotionally attached. My profession isn\'t exactly conducive to having a relationship, and I know and accept that. I haven\'t had a \"girlfriend\" in over three years, but I definately haven\'t suffered from celibacy. I\'m starting to wonder if I\'m only good at the short-term, but get slammed in the emotional relationship arena. A couple of things I have considered are: It\'s getting cold and I have been sitting in one place for a long time. Maybe I\'m sending out a sub-conscious desperation signal. In the summer when I was still new here I had a more cocky attitude. I\'ve never had a problem picking up a one-night-stand until now. I had a great night out last night. I ended up showing a girl around \"my place\" and she left me her home phone # ... but I didn\'t seal the deal. That has never happened before. Usually once I get a girl here she melts down and I\'m in like flint. So whatever message I\'m sending ETWG isn\'t the only one who\'s reading me funny. I don\'t entirely blame her (Emotional Train Wreck Girl) notice the nickname I have given her. This was trouble from the start, but the RescueRanger thought he could heel her heart and make everything all better. Oh well - time to mave on. I just need to get back in touch with my inner cocky-bastard.

PS - Yes it\'s really that bad out there.