View Full Version : JOKES ASIDE

11-19-2002, 01:49 AM
A missionary realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was
how to speak English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, \"This is a tree.\" The chief looks
at the tree and grunts, \"Tree.\" The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the missionary points to a rock and says,
\"This is a rock.\" Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, \"Rock.\"

The missionary is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he
hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a
couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The missionary is really flustered and quickly responds, \"Riding a bike.\"

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.
The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years
teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could
he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, \"My bike.\"

11-19-2002, 08:11 AM
What I\'ve learned as I \"matured\"

I\'ve learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I\'ve learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I\'ve learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I\'ve learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you\'d better have a big weenie or huge

I\'ve learned that you shouldn\'t
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I\'ve learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you\'re finished.

I\'ve learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I\'ve learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is
at first, the passion fades, and there
had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I\'ve learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go

Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me,
they\'ll appreciate it. Who knows,
maybe something good will happen.

If not...tough [censored]