Another hit

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m standing outside smoking and this guy walks by, glances at me, comes back, stands about 5 feet away for a minute or two, and then comes over to me, asks me for a light, so I give him one. He says it\'s freezing out here, why aren\'t you wearing a jacket? I said because I have enough natural insulation to keep me warm. He starts laughing, said I was a perfect size, he saw me and thought I was just beautiful, what did I do to keep myself in shape, did I like to walk? I said yes, I like to walk. He said had I been to the zoo, I said not in a long time, several years, actually. He said I\'m NAME, put out his hand for me to shake so I shook hands and said my name. He asked if I had a business card, said he didn\'t mean to be forward, but he couldn\'t walk away from me without asking for my number so he could call me up and take me to the zoo and out to lunch sometime, would I like that? I said I was sure I\'d like it very much but unfortunately I was spoken for. ... he said that was such a shame, how come all the good ones were taken, I smiled and said I\'d enjoyed talking with him, he wished me a good day.

again, EW mist all over, 1 drop of lavender -nol, Maja cologne

I swear I think -nol makes people chatty or makes the wearer more approachable. Things like this don\'t happen when I\'m not wearing it. I don\'t know how much the EW has to do with anything but it could be doing something too.

[Elana]

Very nice FTR /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif That certainly counts as a serious hit. Why don\'t you post this in the women\'s forum?

[cuddlebear]

Redheads need mones? I get a woody just looking at your screen name ... /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thanks, Elana, I will.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Elana]

I don\'t think anyone NEEDS mones. They are just fun to play with. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I think you have a great mix there. EW for the sexual attraction and \'nol for the \"yes you can talk to me I won\'t bite\" effect.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I wish I\'d seen him in different circumstances, or knew somebody who knows him, or something. I just can\'t give my phone number out to a stranger on the street. He was nice, very pleasant, well-groomed, well-spoken, and had the brass to ask me for my number. I think he did that really well. The date suggestion was even good - the zoo, and lunch - a nice Saturday afternoon kinda thing. I kind of hated to say no. Oh, well!

Alchemist, I was just thinking about what you said and I think you\'re right. It\'s just in the past week or so that I started wearing EW and lavender -nol and nothing else -- no PCC, no SOE, no Realm for Women, no 5 phero mix -- before, I had been using one or the other of those things with EW.

EW and that tiny drop of -nol has got me two strong hits since I started wearing it just like that. I think you\'re right - we could be on to something! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Watcher]

Sounds like a hit now if i could get more women to do that with me lol. Ask me for my numbers.

[druid]

FTR-
Would you have given him your number if he had persisted? Did you actually turn him down since you are spoken for or were you testing him?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I wasn\'t teasing or testing. I hate bullshit, I really do. I try to be as straight as I possibly can. There is a guy I see from time to time and we have certain understandings. I could date someone else but I couldn\'t sleep with anyone else without telling him. It\'s not that I can\'t go out with other people but it would have to be discussed with him first.

But I\'m very guarded. I won\'t give my phone number to a stranger on the street. He did as well as anyone could possibly have done, well enough that I really admired it. But nothing would make me give my phone number to a total stranger. Ever.

If some man came up to me, like, at a book store or in a club or a Starbucks or something, his best bet for me would be to ask me to meet him there again, or someplace close by, e.g., \"How about you meet me here next Saturday and I\'ll buy you a latte and we can continue this conversation? I\'d love to get to know you better.\" That would be fine, I\'d be happy to. And maybe if that conversation went well, I\'d give my phone number - but probably I would take his number rather than give mine out, have him tell me when\'s a good time to call, and keep the appointment, call exactly to the minute when he said to, and follow up.

I\'ve learned this from experience, not to give my number out casually.

[Watcher]

Good point FTR you gotta protect youre privacy the thing is if the female makes the move she is showing that she is available and single and interested in the male and then he can respond.
Although a short dating thing is essential as it determines if you are compatible with others but 4 months on a dating site (refering to another post) is a bit long i would say 1 month at the most otherwise guys you will be put into the LJBF category.

[franki]

\"But I\'m very guarded. I won\'t give my phone number to a stranger on the street. He did as well as anyone could possibly have done, well enough that I really admired it. But nothing would make me give my phone number to a total stranger. Ever.\"

What about giving your email-address? You are advertising your email here on the web (Love-Scent), so that wouldn\'t be a big privacy problem and on the other hand you could easily stay in contact. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Watcher]

Shes with someone therefore in my book (not being judgemental FTR) this applies to any situation. If a woman is with a guy then she has a responsibility if she isnt in love with him anymore (cheating going out sexually with another guy) then to tell the existing male she is breaking it off plain and simple. I hate women who have a provider and then have a lover on the other side, my view is if you want a provider than give him the sex to. If you want a root make it a one night stand and not a short term fling unless communication verbally to the party that its over so that they dont get any nasty surprises, its not that i would be jealous i would rather be dumped and left to get over it than to be thinking shes into me only and sleeping with another guy. If she wants to sleep around tell me first and if i walk away as a result dont get upset because the girl is the one wanting to sleep around and i might want something longer term and if i am going to waste my time i want to waste it with someone who is being faithful.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I feel the same way. I\'ve made a promise. I don\'t lie worth a damn, you can see it on my face - I don\'t even try anymore, like, not since I was about 9. I know he doesn\'t lie to me, because he says what he feels even if he knows it will hurt me, he never talks a bunch of crap to flatter me. He\'s truthful to the bone. I don\'t ever want him to see a lie on my face, it would hurt him and it would destroy what we have. There may come a time when I\'m ready for a different kind of relationship than what I have with this guy, and he and I both know that, so I keep an ear to the ground with personal ads. Every once in awhile, someone interesting will write, but it\'s never even gone so far as even to meet for a coffee. I like what I have and I don\'t want anything else for right now. I\'ve never cheated -- if I\'m unhappy, I leave, and it\'s over, but I don\'t string guys along or do things behind their backs. We\'ve agreed that if I go out with another man, I talk to him about it first. That means that if I do think about going out with someone else, I have to weigh whether it is worth hurting the guy I have, and whether I think the new guy could replace the guy I have. It\'s going on three years and there\'s no one who compares, for me. I don\'t want to lead some guy on, having him keep taking me out, buying me meals, whatever, when I have no intention of coming through - I couldn\'t look myself in the face if I did that, I hate that. It would have to be pretty important looking to me for me to go to my guy and say look, I\'ve met someone I\'m kind of interested in, do you mind if I meet him for coffee? he would say it was fine, he would make sure the guy was ok as far as he could understand from what information I could give him, and he would want to know when, where we were going, what time we were supposed to be back, so he\'d know I was safe, but it wouldn\'t be ok, because he\'d be worried that guy was going to take me away from him. I don\'t want him unhappy in any way, ever, it hurts me to think about it. It\'s just better to keep it clean and simple. Truth all around. Watcher, I\'m judgmental too. I don\'t mind it a bit if you are. Tell it like you see it.

[Gerund]

--------------------------------
There may come a time when I\'m ready for a different kind of relationship... so I keep an ear to the ground
--------------------------------

I\'ve done that at times, too. Do you find that you go through a lot of Q-Tips? Smile, baby; I hear what you\'re saying. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Watcher]

Its just a matter of being honest with those that we are with, even if it hurts them well then at times its better than being decieved then finding out afterwards - betrayl and being misled lied to are by far worse than actual honesty.

The other tactic people use (esp females i find and to a lesser extent some guys) is to attack the other person to piss them off in the hope they will go away- this leads to fights and usually occours in relationships were the connection isnt particualaliy strong those that have hooked up just for the sake of having someone around because they are too weak emotionally to be on thier own (both submissive types in guys and girls)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'ve had that happen to me, too. It took me the longest time to figure out that the guy was acting like a jerk to get me to break up with him because he didn\'t have the balls to tell me he wanted to break up. You can\'t even begin to imagine how much respect I lost for that guy. He wasted months of my life for nothing. And I have a girlfriend who does that crap to men, strings them along, breaks dates, doesn\'t do what she says she\'s going to do, the whole time saying she wishes they\'d stop calling and leave her alone - when I say, then TELL HIM NOT TO CALL YOU ANYMORE, she whines, \"But it\'ll hurt his feeeeelings....\" UGH! I can\'t stand it. Think how stupid he\'ll feel when he finally does get it. Another girlfriend who knows a man who\'s an immigrant and his wife can\'t get out of the country and may never -they\'ve been apart now for years, him in this country and her in their old country --this man is completely in love with my friend, it\'s all over his face to the point it makes your heart ache to look at him. He\'s a contractor. She gets free crown molding out of him, and her house painted, and lunch dates, and all manner of services --and says she won\'t sleep with him because he\'s married. Bullshit. She is just enjoying the attention without any accountability while he\'s lying awake at night wondering when he\'s ever going to get a break. I hate and despise that crap. It\'s mean. It\'s way meaner than cards on the table, yes, I see other people and am going to continue to, so deal with it how you see fit, or, I love the attention you\'re giving me but you have to know I don\'t feel sexually attracted to you and never will, or, It\'s over, I\'m breaking up with you. At least then you know what\'s going on and can make an informed decision.Which is not to say, in the case of married people, that there aren\'t reasons why one or both wouldn\'t see fit to go outside the marriage.But as far as those other dating games, I\'m against them.Oh, Franki - I put my email address in my profile for back when pm was shut off and we couldn\'t pm each other. I\'d forgotten all about it. I don\'t mind email, but the phone can drive you nuts if you give your number to someone who has no phone manners. Calls at all kinds of times, or calling and hanging up, or calling and calling and calling - makes you want to pull your hair out. You know? /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Greetings. Well....it seems that this thread suddenly got serious. Starts out with a hit story and suddenly turns into a discussion on relationships.
I do have a profound comment, that springs from deep search and introspection..............I have to agree with cbear....there is something about redheads!
While working this weekend, I met several beautiful -model type- women....but at lunch, my eyes would inevitably roll over towards the catering girl....a typical redhair /blue eyes/white American girl (probably with Irish background). Nop, no hit story.....did not meet her.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Nah, nothing serious. It\'s a favorite rant of Watcher\'s and I was just ranting with him for a minute. Seems we think alike on that subject.What is it with you guys and the redhead thing? lol Reminds me of what my mother used to say: Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it ...

[cuddlebear]

Let\'stryit ... my buddy! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif We know what\'s cool!! (high five)

[a.k.a.]

Great hit story, FTR.
But what if he’d asked if you’d like to go to the zoo and after you said something like “might be nice” asked for your number? Still no go?

Maybe it’s because Colorado’s more laid back. Maybe it’s the pheromones. Or maybe it’s my non-threatening look. (People say I remind them of Stephen Spielberg.) I don’t get a lot of “I never give my phone number out.”

[Watcher]

And yet steven speilberg has become popular i wonder what his phero signature is ??? is he high on the none or the rone.

[a.k.a.]

eu de rich and famous

[Watcher]

Lol de rich and famous hard work and lots of luck.
He also has a good mind. Which would be free of immediate reactions to androgens ie a higher logic than normal.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

a.k.a., still no go. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif I would have arranged to meet him there. I\'d try to get away with getting his number,

Anyplace is more laid back than here.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Guys, does Bruce sell that L\'eau de Rich & Famous here??? Or do we still have to go along with the pheros??
FTR: yep...\"be careful for what u ask\" is an ancient chinese saying.....and...if this wish is coming...I am rubbing my hands with a sly grin drawn on my face......full of anticipation!!!!
Cbear: good to know there\'s another one out there; I was beginning to worry that I had some kind of fetish with redhair.....blue eyes....white skin...and...ohh....did I mention the freckles???

[cuddlebear]

Now I\'ve got a woody again ... /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[xvs]

>his best bet for me would be to ask me to meet him there again, or someplace close by, e.g., \"How about you meet me here next Saturday and I\'ll buy you a latte and we can continue this conversation? I\'d love to get to know you better.\" That would be fine, I\'d be happy to. And maybe if that conversation went well, I\'d give my phone number - but probably I would take his number rather than give


Why not take the initiative and do that yourself... tell him you won\'t give out your number but he can meet you at X location or give you his number, etc.?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

xvs, you must have missed the beginning of the conversation. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif