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xxxPantero
11-04-2002, 05:18 PM
hey everyone

well i\'ve got to tell you what steps i\'ve been taking to help myself

i am at that age where my penis is up more than i am. yet by masturbating, i had reduced the sensitivity of my penis, so when my gf and i did it, i couldn\'t feel anything (when wearing a condom), and i had to pound away for a good 15 minutes just to get close to orgasm. this really sucked for my gf.

BUT

i confided in a close friend of mine, and he bought me a \"rubber pu**y\", like the one he has

at first i was like, WTF, why does he have one, his gf is beautiful and a nympho, plus a really cool chick in the meanwhile - he doesn\'t need it! yet he uses it for the same reason i am doing it now for: to get your rocks off (when alone) while not reducing your sensitivity (no vagina can match the speed or grip of a guy\'s hand, so masturbating can be detrimental).

it feels like the real thing, and it is helping me out so much! i am more sensitive with a condom on now, and it is great. i can\'t wait to suprise my gf with my newfound sensitivity. the the thrusting movements i do to the \"cyber-skin vagina\" (which amazingly feels like the real thing, minus the warmth) are conditioning my body for better control, as well. having \"slipped out\" a few times with my gf and the cyber-skin vagina, now i\'m learning the length of my penis a little better. so i\'m basically \"practicing\" and getting myself more sensitive to a vagina while wearing a condom, so she won\'t really have any complaints any more that i take a bit long.

after a while, i will learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation (EDIT: this is how a man becomes multi-orgasmic) and really be her #1 lover! (although she swears i am already, but i can\'t believe it until i feel that way about myself)

so if any of you have a problem with the reduced sensitivity of a condom, try \"Training\" yourself on a cyber-skin vagina! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

a.k.a.
11-04-2002, 07:20 PM
Back in the day, when we didn’t have cyber-skin vaginas, I discovered that a soft touch (combined with a good dose of massage oil) also works.

Now that I’m at an age where 15 minutes is just getting warmed up, I’ve discovered that you don’t have to keep pounding away. When wearing a condom you can just fake it.

xxxPantero
11-04-2002, 07:42 PM
tried soft touch, it just got me used to the way my hands would do it.

fingers feel much different from a vagina

the thing is i have a dual problem: without a condom, i am not even a one-minute man, more like a 3-pump chump - give me less than 30 seconds, and i have to pull out. yet, WITH a condom, i can\'t feel anything (i\'ve explored the mechanics of it, since i have a foreskin, and positioned it to how it works best)

oh and about faking it...
that can be good but bad

my gf never fakes it... how can i make such a statement, you ask? because when she\'s unsatisfied, she lets me know in the most ego-shattering way. yikes. she was always a little too honest, which always gets her in trouble. anyway, so at least when she compliments me, or if she ever tells me i got better in bed, she\'ll have a LOT of creditibility, and i won\'t think she\'s sparing my ego (although once in a while it might be nice)

and why would i fake it? that will just force me to remain unfulfilled instead of tackling the problem

a.k.a.
11-04-2002, 07:53 PM
Oops. I forgot. When you’re young, getting all worked up and not going off can be very... um... unfulfilling to say the least.

Then again, there’s always blow jobs.

a.k.a.
11-04-2002, 08:14 PM
I’ve read some books on being multi-orgasmic and tried some of the exercises, but when I do manage to separate orgasm from ejaculation the orgasm is really small. The books say it takes lots of practice.

On the other hand, the muscle contraction exercises bring results rather quickly. My regular (ejaculatory) orgasms feel much more intense.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-04-2002, 08:27 PM
To boost overall drive and sensitivity try horny goatweed, tribulus also they are the best aphrodisiacs out there and will get you pumped and able to just become an animal in bed (within controllable limits of course) but it also increases sensitivity and time to blow youre load.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 06:34 AM
She complains that you f*ck her too long? I don\'t get it.

franki
11-05-2002, 06:38 AM
Young women are complicated ..... /ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif

Bruce
11-05-2002, 07:49 AM
It\'s rare, but it does happen.
Bruce

Elana
11-05-2002, 08:32 AM
\"and i had to pound away for a good 15 minutes just to get close to orgasm. this really sucked for my gf.\"

I wish we could all have such problems. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 08:39 AM
Elana, DIG! He\'s got maximum equipment and can go longer than 15 minutes --- Pantero, come to my house, baby. Then go see Elana. I dont think either of us would complain about you taking too long...

Elana
11-05-2002, 08:41 AM
No, me first, me first /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif
I\'m right here in Miami /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

xxxPantero
11-05-2002, 09:00 AM
isn\'t it ironic how young women like the way older gentlemen do it - slow and sensuous, while the more mature women like it the way that younger guys give it to them (hard and fast)?

nature has an odd sense of humor

\"when you get to be my age, everything is stiff, except what should be\" i hope i never get that problem!

anyway - the thing is that last time, i remember i teased her and was going slow, and she got frustrated, because she wanted a good, hard f*ck, so i\'m all confused. i have to work on detecting what kind of sex she\'s looking for - make up sex, monkey sex, quickie sex, teasing sex, hard sex, lovey-dovey sex, etc.

well, i guess i had to learn somewhere/sometime, just wish i could have learned this beforehand

franki
11-05-2002, 09:03 AM
When she generally likes \"hard\" sex, I would think she didn\'t want to have sex the time she complained about you taking too long.

xxxPantero
11-05-2002, 09:11 AM
that\'s the thing...

she was wet, and she was in the mood, and was initiating!

she doesn\'t generally like any specific type of sex. what she DOES like is lots of variety. and that time, she wanted hard sex, but i didn\'t know that, so just was teasing her a whole bunch. the times i take really long depend on the condom. it feels like someone massaging you with a latex glove - not very pleasurable, even when lubed!

if i\'m f*cking her for a few minutes with a condom, no problem, but after a certain time period, her pu**y gets sore (like i mentioned before, she is a VERY sensitive girl, everywhere, not just her genitals) and for me to finish hurts her, although i\'ll admit that once in a very long while she wants to get hurt like that, and gets off on herself gasping in my ear. weird but lovely.

the main problem was those times that i took too long to finish and she got sore, and didn\'t particularly feel like getting sore.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 09:18 AM
What you\'re talking about is SO frustrating. Sometimes I *crave* a particular kind of sex and I just can\'t seem to get him to understand me at all and it does piss me off. It\'s like he gets in his head that it\'s supposed to be a certain way, and it doesn\'t matter what I\'m signaling or the mood I\'m in (obviously, to me at least), it can be really unsatisfactory for both of us even though physically we got off.

I don\'t know what to do about it.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 09:35 AM
Pantero,
Dude, I\'ve had the same probs. Putting FTR\'s comment on equipment together with the condom thing etc. I\'m going to assume your bigger than most. I\'ve had the problem with only one girlfriend with my size. BUt with her it was that if I went too deep she said it really hurt, but she said it reminded her of what we were doing for about an hour or so after so she seemed to think it was a mixed good and bad thing. Usually she\'d stop and switch to oral if it happened a couple times and needed to stop. Maybe you can get your girlfriend to either get you more excited before you start screwing or finish things in other ways?
btw, are you paying enough attention to getting her off too? If you think solely about her during sex you might find yourself enjoying it more and not merely worried about \"geez I wanna cum\" That and the fact that if she enjoys it more she might just want it more too.
Try some different condom types, some really are better than others and you\'ll feel more.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 09:52 AM
Another suggestion that comes to mind is that she play with herself while you\'re f*cking her. It sounds like she\'s losing lubrication/arousal during penetration.

Elana
11-05-2002, 10:03 AM
or take a break and give her some clitoral stimulation orally.

Whitehall
11-05-2002, 11:00 AM
If you put lube on yourself both before and after donning a condom, the guy will find that it feels more sensitive and more \"real.\" The extra lube between the guy\'s skin and the condom help to \"couple\" the tactile sensations.

It ain\'t the quite real thing (skin-on-skin) but it does help.

Also, if a guy is coming too soon, having him take 5-HTP can help slow him down. Too much and libido can drop. It\'s similar to taking Prozac.

xxxPantero
11-05-2002, 01:45 PM
well wizard, when we concentrate on pleasing each other, we don\'t orgasm - that\'s fun, but sometimes we both just want to cum

so i f*ck her and when i\'m done, i roll over and position myself at an angle where my pelvic bone hits her clit while she\'s rocking back and forth, until she cums. my gf can be like a man in that if she she wants to cum and doesn\'t get a chance to, or gets interrupted, she gets really pissed. plus she falls asleep right afterward while i try to stay awake and cuddle (not for reassurance, just cuz i don\'t want to let go of her)

i think my gf and i have really blurred lines of definition between male/female during sex!

oh yeah, and she jokes sometimes about how the sensation of being sore reminds her that she just got f*cked an hour ago... she likes it sometimes, doesn\'t like it others. also, i don\'t get off from oral (maybe not sensitive enough yet) but she loves to give me lots of bj\'s, but not DURING the act. like me, she gets into f*ck mode, where as they say in those pringles commercials \"once you pop you can\'t stop\".

but yeah, usually i pay attention to her, although sometimes she wants me to concentrate on myself, not on her. i don\'t know whether this is a good thing or bad thing. but yes, i do take the time to appreciate her sexy body, and her hair, her curves, her smell, her taste, the feel of her skin, and all of those things. once my d*ck is in her though... she doesn\'t want any more fore-playing around. she wants to f*ck! or she wants to make love! or whatever she\'s in the mood for! she says that anything my hands do distract from the sensations in her pu**y... which is weird, cuz i\'d assume they ADD to the sensations in her entire body, but she\'s very focused with her pu**y.

i\'ve tried different condom types. the ones that ended up feeling the best... are the ones that always broke.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 03:46 PM
Pantero,
The jokes after sex \"I feel like somebody fvcked the sh!t outta me\" and similar comments sure are an ego boost.

The only advice I have is from one girl who I used to make sore and as I said, I just had to watch some positions if things got too aggressive.

Good luck man, it used to kill me that sex would hurt someone I was with even if it was only some of the times.

Wizard.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 03:56 PM
I had a tough time finding a decent condom - I ended up switching to Lifestyles Large...I found that it fit better (didn\'t sqeeze the hardon out of me) and I haven\'t had one break yet.

xxxPantero
11-05-2002, 09:48 PM
IN reply to: \"What you\'re talking about is SO frustrating. Sometimes I *crave* a particular kind of sex and I just can\'t seem to get him to understand me at all and it does piss me off. It\'s like he gets in his head that it\'s supposed to be a certain way, and it doesn\'t matter what I\'m signaling or the mood I\'m in (obviously, to me at least), it can be really unsatisfactory for both of us even though physically we got off.

I don\'t know what to do about it.\" by FTR
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FTR, i just had a theory: The type of sex a woman wants can be found in the foreplay

(The following are speculations, which will have to be tested out by me: )

If I am leading the foreplay, then perhaps I can make her want a certain type of sex. If she is leading the foreplay, however, I will be able to tell what kind of sex she wants by paying attention. When we last had our (failed) sex marathon, I teased her with aggressive foreplay, but changed to teasing, fun foreplay right before. This set one mood for her at the beginning of the foreplay, but the change in the mood f*cked it up. Allow me to elaborate: lightly sucking on a woman\'s neck will make her feel for emotional sex, while nibbling on the meaty part of her shoulder/collar will make her feel more like an animal - this is what i\'m guessing. I was performing the latter as part of my foreplay, and also griding my crotch into her ass while doing such - more \"doggie style\" mood than \"spooning\" mood. so that made her want to be \"violated\" - she wanted to be taken. Yet, when I approached the act, it was not a \"take charge\" attitude, more like a playful \"hmm... let\'s see, what should we do now\". And that got her so frustrated that it killed the mood for her. So perhaps, the sex should follow the foreplay style! So if the foreplay is loving whispers and promises in each other\'s ears, and light kisses on the neck, it\'s time to make love. If it\'s hungry tongues searching the deep parts of each other\'s mouth, nibbling and biting on the shoulders, and pulling each other\'s hair, it\'s time to f*ck. If it\'s precluded by a massage, it\'s time for tantric sex. I\'ve had all 3 with her, but now I think that I can really enhance the act by keeping the mood consistent both before and after.

(okay now i won\'t bother with capitalization, i just did that above for clarity.)

i get my paycheck next friday, and we are renting a room to re-connect intimately. whether this involves sex is a maybe - we just haven\'t held each other without the barriers of clothes for a long while. it may lead to sex, so i\'ll make sure to be prepared. if it does happen, i\'ll take the above information into account, and let you all know how it goes.

there is a hotel i am planning on renting which has mirrors all over the ceiling and wall, as well as a multi-colored rotating light - very swank and somewhat kinky. i\'d get that, but not before we reconnect. we need to be intimate before we can be wild.

here is something interesting, though:

i was speaking with my girlfriend a few minutes ago, and i was comparing myself to her exes. strangely enough, there was a lack of jealousy on my part before she even answered. anyway, she always said that i am her best lover (out of 3 others) and that sometimes she has too much expectations of me because she loves me a lot. so if anything is less than amazing, she gets disappointed. she never really expected much from her exes, so she was satisfied because low expectations are easier to meet. she also said that she was not selfish in bed with them for a very selfish reason of her own: she thought that if she let them go at it a while, then maybe the relationship might be better. yet with me, she knows that she can be selfish in bed because the relationship is good (although we have our share of problems). plus she lets me be selfish because i always give her her turn. (that sounds a bit bad, i know, but if we\'re both satisfied in the end, how bad can it really be? not bad at all!)

one funny situation that shows her honesty - we were moaning and breathing and i could tell she was faking it (she\'s not a very good actress, THANK GOD!), but i didn\'t want to say anything about it to her. halfway through she asks \"are you feeling good yet?\" and so i said yes. so she said \"okay, then let me start ACTUALLY touching myself.\" i nearly laughed. a small shadow of anger had passed across my face, but then a moment later i realized she was faking it so that i could warm up and that by the time i finished, she\'d be finished too. she was just helping me out instead of saying \"you take too long\" what a sweet girl. i don\'t even think she knows that i appreciated it so much. something else that\'s funny - we both have developed the habit of laughing soon after we cum - she giggles, i laugh. it\'s funny, which makes us laugh even more. so on the phone you\'d hear \"uh uh uh .......uh.....uh......uh......i\'m cumming......oh.........uh........................ .................................................. .........hehehe.......hehe......hehheehehe........ ........hahahahaha!\" how weird.

**DONOTDELETE**
11-05-2002, 10:25 PM
You\'ve got the best attitude!


Those are good theories. Can\'t wait to hear your report on how they play out. It\'s great that you\'re paying this much attention.

I read your posts and think about them in connection with my own situation and realize that sometimes you just can\'t be in perfect synch -- and the closer you get to it, the more you crave it, hence the frustration when it\'s just almost nearly perfect but not quite. The fact is, you\'ll probably look back on your sexual experience with her as one of the best of your life. So don\'t let the glitches get you down.


I said to Studly Do Right on the phone between the time before last and the last time I saw him that I thought we could probably play a little harder. It was just an observation, something said in passing. He took it for an instruction. When I did see him again, in the interim, I\'d found out my mother was sick, had had a complete melt down with my closest girlfriend, and some considerable financial stress. I really needed close, warm, loving sex. Instead I got harshly given orders and shoved and slapped around. It was partly that the pheromones wind him up too much and I had too much on, but it was partly that he did it because I told him to (or, at least, that\'s what he thought I meant) and he had that in his mind walking in the door so was not able to be attentive to what was actually going on in the moment. I didn\'t remember the conversation until well after the incident.

It\'s really good to develop your bag of tricks - the key is to be able to be flexible with them and attuned to the mood and the signals of your partner.


Have you asked her how she feels about mirrors? just curious

xxxPantero
11-06-2002, 06:59 AM
about mirrors...

well i remember she once told me that her ex put a mirror on the ceiling but she was too uncomfortable with him to enjoy it

but with me she\'s very comfortable. we\'ve used a hand mirror for her to explore herself, shot about 2-3 videos of ourselves, and i\'ve drawn her naked. so i think with me she\'ll be able to enjoy it a lot. after all, i\'m the only person she\'s able to have sex with the lights on with - everyone else didn\'t make her feel sexy, just used.