Attracting the 30-40 year old woman

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Anyone know of the best mones to attract a 30-40 year old woman? Anyone have any tried and tested mixes for this?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I don\'t know about 30 year olds. However. 40 year olds, about all you have to do is crook your finger. Women in their forties are typically having a hormone surge that lasts a few years and makes them as horny as teenaged guys.


I heard a very wise man recently express this truth: make a woman feel safe, physically and emotionally, and she will have sex with you.


It\'s really that simple most of the time.

[jose]

Try AE it has 3 Pheromones, from my experience 30 to 40 year Olds respond very well to it. It\'s no guarantee that it will work for you, but you can try it.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I have had a lot of luck with a mix of AE and NPA in a mix around 5:1 or so. I use 3-5 drops of this depending on the environment.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I thought this homone blast on wome was from 30 to 34. By the way....make her feel safe.....but also let her know/feel that she is attractive.

[jose]

I heard it was 40, a woman said \"It\'s like a light switch turning on all of a sudden\", and they\'re just Horny.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Make her feel safe AND let her know she\'s attractive - the two don\'t contradict each other.

The hormone thing is at about 40 and goes through most of the decade.

Clock\'s Ticking is what\'s going on at 30-34. That\'s prime time baby window. That doesn\'t mean she wants sex because she\'s horny. That means she wants sex because she wants a husband and a baby.

Women in their forties don\'t want babies. They just want sex.

Get it? /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Mmm....I guess our friend is not into baby production!
How come redhead knows so much about women?? Oh my God...she is one! Good to have someone that can lead us through the unexplainable! JA!

[proteus]

Tried to date this 41 yr old women sometime ago and though we became friends of sorts, she never allowed things to progress coz of age difference - never could get comfortable with fact that I was about 10 yrs younger - I guess if the age diff. is not so large perhaps things are more simple with ladies in their 40s, but all I know is I never \"worked\" as hard to seduce this lady as I did younger women (she was so sexy this lady!!!!), and never got anywhere so I promised myself, never again.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Mmm....perhaps Redhead can give u advice! You know what? She should have an \"advice for guys\" webpage....make ALOT of $$$$!
To Redhead: please dont forget us when u become filthy rich!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

HA

Yeah, well, me getting rich is nothing to worry about any time soon.

What you\'re saying about age difference is true, and I hadn\'t thought about it. It\'s always on an older woman\'s mind. But it often doesn\'t keep her from going through with it with a younger guy. It\'s just the thing that worries her. (If it\'s not that, it\'s going to be something else.)

And guess what? I have no answer for the question of how to because I don\'t mess with younger guys. The women I know my age and older who have, have been taken by storm rather than talked into it. The guys just grabbed them and kissed them, sort of thing, and it went from there. The anxiety was always there on the woman\'s part (how can he find me attractive when I\'m old enough to be his mother) but the guys always played it off, and wood speaks louder than words, if you get my drift.

[proteus]

FTR said: \"And guess what? I have no answer for the question of how to because I don\'t mess with younger guys. The women I know my age and older who have, have been taken by storm rather than talked into it. The guys just grabbed them and kissed them, sort of thing, and it went from there. The anxiety was always there on the woman\'s part (how can he find me attractive when I\'m old enough to be his mother) but the guys always played it off, and wood speaks louder than words, if you get my drift.\"

I get your drift FTR and I think if I had done things this way, just been assertive and initiated the sex, she might have relented, however problem was she was a neighbor from the standpoint that at the time I lived in the same apartment building as she did - this is how I noticed her and we began talking, became friends, but problem is when you are neighbors like this, if you are assertive, push things to a sexual level, I felt it would have been very complicated if she had still resisted as now she would be very uncomfortable living there and crossing my path as I would. Matter of fact I think it was precisely because we were in the same building and one of those buildings where everyone knows each other, so she probably didn\'t want to get a rep as the woman who\'s sleeping with that younger guy on the 3rd floor :-) . So I didn\'t push it, but always wonder what might have been - I\'ve since moved from there and haven\'t seen her since but she was one of the hottest woman I\'ve ever had the fortune to become friends with.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

That double standard is so cruel. If the ages had been reversed, you\'d be congratulated for bagging a younger woman. ... somehow it\'s creepy if it\'s an older woman/younger man thing. I wonder if that will ever go away.

Probably not.

[Mtnjim]

No double standard here. My friend has 30somethings hitting on her all of the time. I\'m double nickle (last Sept.) and she turned 6-0 the day after. ;~}

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah, but does she go for them?

[Mtnjim]

\"Yeah, but does she go for them? \"
Nope, right now she\'s not sure what she wants. Only divorced a year after 23.
I\'m interested in her, but she says she only wants to be friends. When I treat her like a friend, she doesn\'t like it, she gets all defensive.

[proteus]

FTR: you\'re so right that this is a cruel double standard. I tried to let her know I could care less, but my assurances weren\'t enough and I know she felt that she is the one who would have to bear the brunt of the comments/looks etc. so I never pressed things.

Mtnjim: your situation with this lady is exactly what I went through. She would do exactly as you say she does which is tell me she only wanted to be friends, then when I treated her as a friend she did not like it and would get actually furious in a quiet but seething manner lol Drove me nuts as what she was transmitting with this behaviour was inherently contradictory. I\'m very interested in hearing what advice you might give to Mtnjim in this situation FTR as you seem to understand a lot of stuff really well. Perhaps I can learn something if ever I\'m in a situation like this again :-)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It\'s boring but I\'m gonna say what I always say. When it comes to women, guys, if you want it, take it, don\'t sit around talking about it. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif If it goes on too long in the talky-talky let\'s be friends vein, you\'re standing on the shore waving your ship goodbye. ... Proteus, you were saying since you two lived in the same building, etc., there were reasons not to pursue it. So -- are you wishing you had, or glad you didn\'t?

Maybe you\'ve been in a situation where it just feels good to have a heavy flirtation and know that nothing will ever come of it. Some people enjoy that. I\'m more of the \"If you can\'t bite, don\'t growl\" school, but I do know men and women both who are satisfied to fantasize and keep the other person as an admirer from a distance. .

And there are good reasons, in the case of older woman, younger man, to keep it non-sexual. There\'s always some anxiety in the initial phase of a relationship - does he/she like me as much as I like them, etc. For older women/younger men, it never really goes away, because we have a youth and beauty culture, and it\'s impossible for an older woman to believe that the younger man won\'t be seduced away by the first woman his age or younger who shows any interest. Sometimes it\'s impossible for her to believe a man that much younger is attracted to her with any sincerity in the first place. So the situation is not easy to begin with. Then the remarks come, and the gossip from friends, and the times when you\'re in public and a waiter says the wrong thing, or gives her the check to pay ... it\'s a lot of pressure.

My point being this: if you make up your mind you want her, don\'t give her time to think about it. Move in and claim her. Otherwise, you\'ll never get past her anxiety and (probably) very good reasons not to want to get into it with a guy 10+ years her junior.

In the case of a 30\'s guy who\'s never been married, for example - guilt sets in. He should be with a girl in her twenties so he can father children. He says it doesn\'t matter to him, all he wants is you. About the time you get seriously attached to him and fall for his line, the dreaded younger girl comes into the picture and there the older woman is, abandoned. What\'s the point in even starting. If he doesn\'t abandon her, the longer she keeps him, the more guilty she feels that she can\'t give him what a younger woman could.

Also, the age difference becomes more apparent the older the couple gets. Women age faster than men, typically. When he\'s 40 and she\'s 50, she\'s gonna look 50. He might look 35. Cause for even more anxiety on her part and fear of abandonment.

None of it\'s easy.

Mtnjim, I\'m inclined to think you should make yourself scarce and see if she comes after you, ready to do something according to YOUR pacing. Unless things as they are are ok to you and you don\'t care too much either way what she decides. I don\'t get the feeling that anything is going to change. There\'s no motivation for her to change as long as you\'re acting happy with what you\'ve got. y\'know?

My 2 cents from the school of hard knocks. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Mtnjim]

\"Mtnjim, I\'m inclined to think you should make yourself scarce and see if she comes after you, ready to do something according to YOUR pacing.\"

That would be the ideal solution, except for two things--1 I live next door, and 2 I\'m helping her take care of her 99 1/2 year old ex-father-in-law (long, strange story).
To tell the truth, it\'s her that caused me to investigate mones!
She says that she really loves me (she sometimes really shows it), I\'m a great guy, and she wishes something would happen. BUT, she wants that spark, \"it\'s pheramones or something\".
I know she\'s not worried about what people think, her brothers, ex-brother-in-law and his wife, and a lot of people that know us have told her that we are the perfect match, and when were we going to get married? People that don\'t know us, or don\'t know us very well, when they see us together THINK we are married.
Also, she is convinced that she won\'t be ready for a relationshp until 1 month for every year (23) have passed.

As far as making myself scarce. A couple of weeks ago, she got pissed off at me and I went home, the next day (Sunday) I called up to see if \"pop\" was up for football. As soon as I said \"hi\" she hung up without a word. I never called back. The next Wed. she called me at 9:00 PM. So yes, I can sort of make myself scarce, and yes I can get interested in someone else-I don\'t have a case of \"oneites\", but damn we \"fit\" together so well.

[proteus]

FTR in answer to your question, the non-rational part of me wishes I had made a move, but the rational side of me is glad/relieved that I did not because I think she was so hungup on what everyone would think that she would have probably freaked if I\'d been sexually aggressive and either have a) made a huge deal about it, thrown a fit or b) even moved from the building because of it.

Reason I say this is every time it seemed like we would be getting to that point in a friendship where you are talking very intimately and it feels like that the sex is going to happen any moment she would not only back off big time, but then she\'d go away for the weekend or longer, come back and kinda act like we are at the most mere acquaintances then when she was back in her comfort zone she\'d start pursuing, hanging around etc making conversation then the same would repeat. So it wasn\'t for lack of trying on my part - she would in a sense \"run\" when she felt she was losing control of things and this went of for quite some time and then as I said I moved and that put a stop to it, but I doubt she\'d ever have changed her mind. She was a very intelligent, successful professional woman, and I think \"appearances\", what the other neighbors, her friends, family etc. thought was too important to her. But like mntnjim\'s lady friend, she really got annoyed if I tried to be casual and act like we were just friends and nothing was going on, and God forbid she saw me with another gal in the building - she would ignore me for weeks when we\'d pass each other until I did something to show that I was sorry - and yet we were supposedly \"just friends\" lol. CRAZY!!! lol

But I think you are absolutely correct that if I had moved in without hesitation and showed her that I was 100% certain that I did not care about what other folk thought, and made it clear that I wanted her completely a part of me does feel she might have relented. But it was impossible (for me) to move this aggressively as the downside for not succeeding would potentially have been really unpleasant since we were neighbors. And everything you wrote about the age difference and her ageing faster than myself I heard from her many times so this is also very true, that it was a big concern of hers. All I wanted to do is be friends with this lady and have sex with her, but it became too complicated and after all of this I promised never to put myself in a situation like this again. But I really appreciate your input FTR as it\'s helpful to sort through this stuff and get a woman\'s perspective on these issues. In the end I did a big woulda/shoulda/coulda and really annoys me sometimes as she was incredibly sexy -(not gorgeous in the traditional sense, just one of those woman who has a very powerful sexual aura if ya know what I mean.) Thanks again for your input on this as I often wonder about her and the what-ifs but then again I believe that if something was meant to be it would have happened so....

[Mtnjim]

\"and God forbid she saw me with another gal in the building - she would ignore me for weeks when we\'d pass each other until I did something to show that I was sorry -\"

Actully, my friend said \"you should be seeing other people, I\'ll set you up\". She proceeded to set me up with a friend of her\'s that she know was completely wrong for me. My preference is for assertive, adventersum type and she set me up with a meek, shy woman. I think she was trying to (safely) put some distance between us while ensuring she wouldn\'t lose me (FTR??)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Y\'all can stand a lot more jerking around than I can.

I think both those women are nuts.

If you want the truth.

Seriously.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Age ... you want to talk about that .... How\'s this one :

.................................................. ....................................

Just before my 49th birthday this attractive lady approaches me in the gym and asks me about training her as she played softball and tennis and wanted to be stronger for those activities and she wasn\'t happy with the results she was getting with her current training methods. Ok ... so I do and find out she\'s almost 43 , divorced, no boyfriend and no kids - perfect !

So we go out to lunch a couple times and dinner once. At dinner she asks me ,

\" So how old are you ? \" People don\'t think I\'m as old as I am and age never meant much to me anyway so I wasn\'t avoiding the question, just automatically replied ,

\" How old do you think I am \" ?

She replied , \" Well I think you\'re alittle older than me and I\'m 42 so I guess 44 - 45 ? \" Again , with age meaning little to me I relpied , \" Close enough \".

She looks at me and says ... \" Older ?? \" I say \" Yeah, alittle. \"

She looks at me then says , \"Well as long as you\'re not over 46\".

\" 46 ?\" Why, what\'s with 46 ? \" I laugh.

Dead serious she says, \" That\'s my cut off point - I don\'t date guys over 46\".

\" Really? \" I said, now knowing I\'m dealing with a real smart girl. \" So ... let\'s just say I was 48 ..... if that we the case we wouldn\'t be even be sitting here right now ?? Even if I looked the same as I do now, same shape, we met the same way and been doing all the same things we ave been doing ... we wouldn\'t be dating if I were over 46 ? What\'s your reasoning behind that ? \"

Her brilliant answer ....

\" Well, let\'s say you were 48 and we really hit it off and were still together two years from now . You\'d be 50 ! .... \"

\" Yeah .... so ? \" I said.

\" Well, I would NEVER be with a 50 year old , NO [censored] WAY ! \" was her answer. How could you tell your friends you\'re dating a 50 year old ?\"

\" Hmmmm ... \" I said, \" You\'re almost 43 ... what are you going to do when you\'re 50 ? \"

\" I\'ll date younger guys .... you\'ll never see me with a 50 year old, I can tell you that ! \", was the reply.

Just goes to show how affected and fixed on \'age\' some people can be .

Oh, if you hadn\'t guessed .... that was our last date - my call. I never said anything to her about why , I just sort of let it fade away .

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Another looney woman! lol

[rockstone]

Listen guys here\'s my story
My wife turned fridged on me during the last two years and I didnt know what to do until I came across this story bout pheros how they awaken etc.So I ordered PI.Am waiting for it to arrive.My question is can anybody advise me what I should or shouldnt do to gain maximum results?Please open this issue on the forum cause I want wide opinion on this.
rockstone

[**DONOTDELETE**]

What you should do or shouldn\'t do to gain maximum results ...the dishesThat\'s my answer, while you\'re waiting for the guys to give \'mone advice.You keeping up your end of the housework? Shave and bathe every day? Keeping fairly fit? Brush your teeth?Give her any pampering at all, take her out once in awhile, compliment her occasionally, give her the 3 minute I-just-called-to-say-I-love-you phone call?Foot rub, back rub, snuggle and kiss sometimes without asking for sex?That stuff works as well as \'mones ... Also maybe she should see an endocrinologist. Depending on her age, her hormones could be doing her wrong. Could be she\'s low on testosterone. Easy to find out and easy to fix.Cheers, good luckFTR

[koolking1]

If a woman told me she just wanted to be \"friends\", I\'d say to her: hmmm, friends, like as in f*ck buddies? Why waste your time.

[Whitehall]

Red,

Your advice SOUNDS nice, but is not likely to work. It is almost certainly her hormones. When a person\'s libido goes away, they usually don\'t see that as a problem - especially women. Since they have no feeling of lust they can\'t remember even the feeling either - strange but true. They are therefore not motivated to do anything to remedy something they don\'t see as a problem. So getting them to admit it is a problem is difficult much less going to a doctor for treatment.

Pheromones are not likely to be much help either in my experience. Without an underlying sex drive, pheromones have little to stimulate.

I remember the last time I brought flowers home to the wife - \"Don\'t bring home flowers again unless YOU put them in a vase.\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Women in their forties don\'t want babies. They just want sex.

You\'ve gotta love women in their forties...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Whitehall, honey, I respect your opinion but I was a wife for nearly a decade, and when my husband asked me once in frustration what he could do to make me more eager, I said exactly what I told this guy -- \"You could do the dishes\" and I was quite serious. I would have felt such a surge of love and gratitude for a little help. I was chronically exhausted, usually worked a 12 hour day, came home, cooked dinner, did dishes, kept the laundry up, did all the ironing, did all the cleaning ... on very rare occasion was too tired for sex and said no (I think it happened maybe twice); sometimes I was accomodating but not real excited about it. I know it is tempting and I\'m probably the most guilty of anyone to think that one\'s personal experience is representative of every circumstance, but your wife and I are two very, very different women - for example, I love flowers above almost any other gift and would never, ever criticize what kind, what color, whether they came in a vase or I had the pleasure of arranging them myself (my preference).

The things I suggested, if my husband had been willing to do any of them from time to time, or especially when I asked for them, would have gone a long way toward extending the love in our marriage and hence our sex life. I never lost enthusiasm for sex, but I got very tired of being expected to perform on cue when tired, cramping, or desperate for affection and/or recognition.

It\'s very easy to show that there\'s a problem. Mark on the calendar every time she\'s responsive or she initiates. Let her see for herself how few the times are. Draw her attention to the fact that your own libido is healthy and part of the marriage contract is to meet each other\'s sexual needs. Her ass will get up and go see the doctor if she doesn\'t want you running around.

[Whitehall]

My Darling Red,

It is intuitively obvious to the casual observer that you have no personal problem with a too weak libido. Your advice is sound for a woman with a normal (or above normal) sex drive. In that case, emotional openness and being connected is important and a fine inducement to a better sex relationship.

However, I\'ll stand by my analysis: with no libido, there is no memory of libido and no recognition that there is a problem. You don\'t miss it when its gone. One would think it wise for either partner in a marriage to make a point of keeping the other partner happy and satisfied but it is by no means universal wisdom. Some women refuse to consider sex in marriage a duty and maybe it isn\'t. I\'m not interested in duty sex in any case. A man turning himself into a household servant for the frigid Lady of the House wouldn\'t help in the least.

Women\'s hormones do change, especially in their 40\'s. For some women, the sex drive increases; for others it disappears. When it disappears, they tend to show no internal motivation to get it back. Depression is often associated with that loss. I know that both are treatable (a little testosterone and some Wellbutron) but she has to seek treatment on her own inititive and make a point of taking the meds. A passive-aggressive type will see to it that neither happens.

Frankly, after enough indignant holier-than-thou rejections, a guy just gets the message and finds himself a normal woman. Biologically, a woman who has given up on reproduction would prefer that her breadwinner do the same. Sorry, no woman is going to make me celibrate.

I will try the calendar record but predict that it will just meet with an angry scene no matter how diplomatically it is presented.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Whitehall Most Wise Whom I Adore,

I would like to share with you certain observations.


Men tend toward ignoring/discounting/minimizing emotional connectedness because they don\'t feel completely in control in such nebulous areas, there being no precise formula to follow. You wrote off emotional connectedness in one sentence and proceeded to the clinical/biological (\"there\'s something wrong with her\"). Unfortunate but true, women need emotional connectedness to have good sex; men need good sex in order to feel emotional connectedness (normally, usually and generally). So comes the necessity for the art of give and take. Which demands a certain maturity level and sometimes even a little self-sacrifice.


Relationships are generally women\'s first priority; specifically, our relationships with our men are most important to us -- relationships in which we want to feel a close and intimate attachment and through which we seek fulfillment. Therefore, depression and loss of libido come about all too easily for women when not enough attention is paid to maintaining the emotional bond. Relationships degenerate when power struggle comes in, i.e., \"I refuse to give her any praise or assistance until she conducts herself the way I want her to conduct herself and performs certain duties in the way I want them performed; unless and until then, I will let her know that I find her unsatisfactory and I will seek comfort elsewhere.\" Perfect prescription for a depressed and rejecting wife with no desire to do anything toward making a home.


I never suggested a man turning himself into a household servant. I do strongly suggest he turn a calm and rational eye to the tasks involved and evaluate whether his participation is what is should be or what was agreed upon. You may not see a connection between shared housework and good sex. There is one. Trust me.

BTW, by shared housework, I do not mean, he does one load of laundry and and actually even puts it away, and then wants to hear his praises sung for the rest of the week, and ever after brings it up as leverage in disputes under the general category \"After All I\'ve Done For You.\"


Even a woman who has the luxury of a good provider and stays at home because she wants to or they agreed on it does not want to feel like a household servant. Some assistance from time to time and some gesture of appreciation for her efforts is still a good idea -- without begrudging or comments to the effect that he works all day at a job too and nobody thanks him or gives him tokens of affection for doing what he\'s supposed to do ...


It\'s hard for me to understand how, if my mate took me by the hand and said, \"Renee, I want to draw your attention to something. We\'ve had sex once in the past two months. There was a time not too long ago when that would not have been enough for you. Frankly, it\'s not enough for me; my desire for you is much stronger than that. Do you think it\'s possible your hormones could be fluctuating? Because I want us both to have the pleasure we used to have, would you go to the doctor and see? I\'ll come with you if you like.\"
It\'s hard for me to accept that a woman would not feel the loss of herself as a sexual being, if she ever identified herself as one to begin with. My older women friends have been through this sort of thing in connection with hysterectomies and/or with HRT not being properly balanced, and were more than anxious to regain their sexual functioning. Let\'s not write this woman off. She may not be aware of how little she is able to respond, or of the lack of frequency of her response.

Um .... darlingest, was that a Freudian slip -- \"No woman is going to make me celibrate,\" you wrote. How long have you been so angry...

Warm embrace, sorry for the trouble in paradise,

FTR

[Whitehall]

Of course! It\'s all my fault.

Further response off-line.

[koolking1]

Aye Caramba FTR, great pickup on the Freudian slop. I\'ve had 3 affairs with married women (I prefer them, they are less trouble, kinder, etc.).

Woman # 1: Her and husband hadn\'t slept together in years. He had become quite strange. He would not flush the toilet after peeing to save on water. He drank vinegar for God knows why and it gave him a strange odor. He would buy things like tomato sauce when it was on sale (they had cupboards full of the stuff - laughing, she even offered to send me cases of the stuff just to be rid of some of it). When she told him she was leaving he said, \"ok, sounds good to me\". They did divorce and it was amicable.

Woman # 2: She was expected to host large family gatherings at Thanksgiving, Christmas (approx 30 people, year in, year out). He would criticize her cooking, planning, etc.. All that she did was criticized. She decided at about age 38 not to sleep with him anymore and he moved into the basement. They continue not to sleep together. I met her when she was about 42 and she is not only gorgeous but one of the most sensual lovers I\'ve ever had the pleasure to be with. Alas, her daughter figured things out and we had to end the affair. She can\'t leave him for the usual reasons.

Woman # 3: She works hard at a very high-paying professional job. Her husband hadn\'t worked in 20 plus years and had become Mr. Mom. Mr. Mom didn\'t take out the garbage, didn\'t shovel the snow, didn\'t cook - his only real domestic duties included washing clothes (for some reason - he enjoyed it) and sorta keeping an eye on the kids. She\'s left him for me and it was a bitter long-drawn out divorce. He resented now having to do some things for himself. It\'s been over 3 years now since she left him and he\'s just now starting to communicate with her in an adult manner (kids needs to discuss, etc.).

The three above women had some things in common: husbands never bought them flowers - ever!!; They were always \"wrong\"; for all they did, there was never any praise.

I was pretty broke two Christmas\'es ago. I went to the mall and in a candy store they were selling chocolate roses for about $3 apiece. I was in line and there was an attractive woman just behind me. Her husband, kids, and what looked like a set of grandparents were waiting for her just outside the store\'s door. We chatted a bit and I mentioned that I was feeling bad cause I didn\'t have much money to spend on my girlfriend and would be buying her just two of the roses and not much else for her. She said to me: \"for me, that would be the greatest present I could get\". So boys, aside from real physical problems/trauma, you can bet the farm that no woman in her 40s suffers from loss of libido - she\'s as sexy as you want her to be provided you treat her with respect, kindness, and dignity. Do small things- secretly go out one night and put a little note on the seat of her car saying that \"I love you\". She may run right back into the house and, hmmmmm gonna be fun!!!!

[Whitehall]

Geez, can\'t a guy make a simple spelling mistake without getting psychoanalyzed? I knew I should have looked that word up in the dictionary!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Lucky]

Koolking\'s comment: \"you can bet the farm that no woman in her 40s suffers from loss of libido - she\'s as sexy as you want her to be provided you treat her with respect, kindness, and dignity\" is EXACTLY right. I would add that showing her the least bit of individual attention as a sexual being (not as a wife or mother- and on a regular basis) could do wonders.

In my opinion (based on personal experience and having a medical background), hormone problems can create very logical and believable excuses for women to avoid sex with undesirable mates. There may not be a hormone problem at all, just an assumed prediction.

Koolking\'s conscious selection of married women ought to tell a guy a thing or two. Koolking, I am dying to know more about your story - if you are married or have ever been married. If you are divorced, I\'m wondering if your knowledge of women was attained after the divorce. Do you have a non-sexual goal when you choose these married women?

Hope it\'s okay to be curious and questioning on here???

[cuddlebear]

I really don\'t have anything to offer on this subject .. but the answer to the question, \"Is it okay to be curious and questioning?\" ... YES YES YES That\'s what we\'re all doing here! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif Cuddles

[belgareth]

A woman at any age wants to be appreciated and desired but one in her forties feels the need more in a lot of cases. Gray hair is starting to appear and they begin to lose the battle of the wrinkles. It can result in their feeling unattractive. So, what to do?

There\'s a whole bunch we can do and most should be done for no apparent reason. Stop behind her while she\'s doing something and rub her neck and shoulders for a minute, kiss her then walk off. Or, better yet, walk up behind her, put your arms around her and start kissing her neck; leave before it goes too far. Send her flowers at work for no reason, on Wednesday! Leave the kids with a sitter and run away for the weekend. Go somewhere and have fun. The constant dealing with household issues can kill anybody\'s libido.Call her at work and tell her youu just wanted to say hello and ask about her day. Get up before her and bring her a cup of coffe, then gently rub her back to wake her up. Take her out for an ice cream and a walk in the park.

It\'s not about sex, it\'s about a caring relationship. Don\'t do any of these things on a daily basis, be random, surprise her with Godiva chocolates one week then don\'t do anything for a while. If there is nothing wrong medically, the little things will count for everything. you\'ll get all the sex you can handle.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

koolking1 is right. Sometimes It\'s so simple to please a woman. What he says is probably right for women in thir 40s and as far as I know, it\'s true for those in their 20s. I also think it was true for my defunct grand-mother who was 98 years old.

Inside, there\'s always a little girl. If you can speak to this little girl, the woman is yours.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh, brilliant, brilliant posts! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Whitehall]

\"Sometimes It\'s so simple to please a woman.\"

--- Alchemist

Sometimes it\'s NOT so simple. Sometimes it\'s impossible.

I think some of our posters have overstated their case. Love does not conquer all. Hormones and feelings are closely linked - a change in one can change the other - and sometimes the hormones change first.

[belgareth]

I think your right that hormones and feelings are closely related. It works both ways. Hormones production is suppressed when you are unhappy, depressed or stressed.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

How come everybody\'s reading this old post all of a sudden?

[Watcher]

I dunno these old threads can be quite educational when read again and applied to current discussions.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Five Anonymi were looking at this thread at the same time. Weird.

[Blackwidow_Woman]

(Women in their forties don\'t want babies. They just want sex.)
Well im in my 40s no more kids is right, sex BRING IT ON!!!!!!! Now how did i get on this thread...LOL!!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

High five! /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Blackwidow_Woman]

Back at ya!!!!! hehehehe!!! Just cant seem to ever get enough... /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[Watcher]

Well if i could get a 20-25 yr old woman who wanted sex just for the sex id be good, oh wait ive got that already oops time to shut up before i jinx myself.