What's the Cure for a Broken Heart?

[Whitehall]

A broken heart can be devastating. Last time it happened to me, it took months to regain equilibrium. There was definitely something neurochemical going on.

So, what can soothe the pain and speed the recovery?

[proteus]

Only thing that ever worked for me in truth was \"time\" and keeping busy which consisted mainly of work, travel, taking up a new hobby etc. What didn\'t work was going out with other gals etc. coz I find that just ends up with you dumping your baggage on them and they get \"hurt\" too...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

There\'s a drug for OCD called Luvox, if you can\'t stop thinking about it, which I couldn\'t. That drug helped a little. I think I went on Prozac or Paxil, one -- a heavy anti-depressant. Those two things kept me from slitting my throat to get away from the agony.

Something for sleep is good, if your doctor will give it to you, too.

I have also tried 1. change of scene - no help. Just miserable in new circumstances, 2. rebound affair/casual sex - made it worse, 3. going out - waste of time

Projects - if you do art, this is the time - or music - something creative or expressive that takes a lot of effort, if I can get myself started in it, those things really help.

I can\'t talk about it because it all seems too trite to me and nothing anybody ever says is the right thing. But some people find talking about it helps. In which case you need a really good, patient friend or a dog.

It\'s the worst pain there is - I for sure can\'t do it again. hope nobody out there\'s going through it, if you are, my sympathies.

[BassMan]

<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

Projects - if you do art, this is the time - or music - something creative or expressive that takes a lot of effort, if I can get myself started in it, those things really help.

<hr></blockquote>It was my divorce that got me playing out again. I started taking pick-up gigs on bass, playing songs I didn\'t know with people I\'d never worked with. The all-consuming nature of having to stay completely focused on what was happening on stage, bar by bar, change by change, kept my mind off my pain - three minutes at a time. It was a large part of what kept me sane during that first year.

It also gave me quite a reputation as a mind-reader /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It\'s kind of ...what? Orwellian? maybe, but I do wish there could be more research and better pharmaceuticals for heart break. The physical pain of it is debilitating, and it\'s not like you could take a leave of absence over a matter of the heart - it\'s amazing how people sneer, or, worse, almost, meaning well, tell you cheer up! think happy thoughts! It\'s occasion for serious pain meds, I think - like, synthetic heroin wouldn\'t be going too far, and a week\'s bed rest with a nurse. The medical profession appears to be moving toward less insistence on stoicism for physical ailments, but for heart break, which is something different from depression, there really isn\'t anything. You just have to suffer until it eventually deadens, even if it never entirely leaves.

[Irish]

It\'s almost identical to drug addiction withdrawal. The PEA your brain generates to keep you in love, juicing the brain reward pathway, is similar to what cocaine does in the brain of an addict. The lovers\' breakup and the cokehead\'s withdrawal are very similar chemically and emotionally. PET brainscans of coke addicts when showed their favorite drug look almost exactly like the brains of lovebirds shown a photo of their beloved.

It\'s an addiction to a person, designed to drive us together long enough to reproduce and get a baby through toddler age - lasts about 3-4 years before brain shifts from PEA to more mellow long-term endorphins. If you disrupt the plan by breaking up before the brain is ready, you suffer \'withdrawal\' - lovesickness. Some people are more prone beacause of an overactive hypothalamus.

Since it\'s a brain chemistry problem I think the best solution is an anti-depressant, which several of my friends and family have reported worked well. I\'ve always just toughed it out with whiskey (not recommended). They say withdrawal lasts about half as long as the relationship itself did.

The great womanizers and seductresses of history understood the difference between being in lust and being in love, although the two are usually entertwined, at least in the beginning of an affair. These \'practical psychologists\' actively developed techniques to make people fall in love with them, not merely sexually entice. Having people in love with you gives you great power over them, as anyone who has ever been lovesick can testify. Lust is fleeting and easily satisfied - love binds one desperately to the other.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Seems like methadone would be better than anti-depressants.

Even \"just\" a physical thing can be as addictive and as hard to lose as a love. But I don\'t think I\'ve ever felt lust as you define it. Maybe this is a girl thing.

[Irish]

FT - I know men are more notorious for this, but haven\'t you ever met someone you just wanted to have meaningless sex with, and not care if you saw him again? Someone very sexually attractive, but that\'s all you saw of interest about him? All the women participating in one night stands can\'t all be deceived about what it is...a momentary sexual interlude for it\'s own sake.

Anyway, that\'s what I was referring to about lust. Sexual attraction apart from any deeper emotional attraction. I know men are capable of that mindless lust, as well as the deeper attachment of being \'in love\'. Always thought women were capable of both too, although they seemed less likely to act on casual sex as a rule.

[CptKipling]

I think its a good idea to get yourself doing something, anything. A hobby, working out, but having fun is a must. Distraction. Never hard at the best (or worst, erm school!) of times for me.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I don\'t think one night stands are fulfilling for women. This could be a generational thing or maybe it\'s just me. I think most women hope something will come of it if they have sex with a man, and I think for many women it\'s a source of pain to connect once and then walk off as though the person never existed in your most intimate world.

I can honestly say I\'ve never felt that way - for me, there\'s no such thing as \"meaningless\" sex. I\'ve seen men I had instant, raging lust for and wanted to have sex with right that second, and have fairly often acted on it, but 99.999 percent of the time, I pick right for myself and it\'s intensely good sex. If I have intensely good sex with someone, I want to do it again. And intensely good sex always involves a heart connection for me, even if it\'s only once. So I never go into anything with the intention of it being a one night stand. If I f*ck you, I mean to make you mine and want to keep you for a little while, or as long as you want to stay, and I make it my business to make you want to stay. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

Otherwise, I\'d just do it myself.

I don\'t understand, can\'t conceptualize, sex on a purely physical level. It seems to me like if you have sex like that, you\'re restricting it down to such a miniscule fraction of what it can be like that to me it\'s not worth having, and I do choose to do it myself rather than to do that. It\'s just not worth taking your clothes off for.

Wish I could be a guy just once and see what it feels like.

[Whitehall]

So the \"heartbreak\" probably involves a change in neurotransmitter levels. My original post was a leading question, really, since I\'ve given the subject some thought already. In fact, dating a post-doc in neuroscience at Brown as I was recovering from my last (and worst) heartbreak lead me into smart drugs and on to pheromones.

I see two obvious approaches. First, one could restore dopamine levels. That could involve direct PEA supplementation. Since chocolate contains PEA and it has a long reputation for helping, at least, with heartbreak, I think this approach may have merit. Cocaine and amphetamines are direct-acting on dopamine release but would exacerbate the depletion when stopped. To be more subtle, one could load precursor(s) to dopamine such as l-phenylaniline. I\'ve noticed recently that improves one baseline mood - I tend to whistle even more! (Song bird analogue?) L-dopa is also available through various herbs like macana pruiens (sp?) and is an even closer precursor. One available drug that has a great deal of merit is deprenyl which inhibits dopamine re-uptake and/or metabolism.

The notion of going out and having fun might work so long as dopamine is not too low. \"Depression\" can be defined as not being able to fun or percieve pleasure. With depleted dopamine, you CAN\'T have fun. Even sex without the loved one is less engaging.

Another track is the serotoin route. Prozac/Paxil and other SSRIs work to increase serotoin levels and calm the irritatible brain - serotoin is an inhibitory neurotransmitter. These prescription drugs can be replace for non-clinical depression by serotoin precursors like 5-HTP or tryptophan.

So if one avoids prescription drugs, candidate treatments are:

1) chocolate
2) l-phenyl aniline
3) l-dopa
4) 5-HTP

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I go with chocolate and L phenylalanine, but the long-term effects of the latter are not known, I don\'t think.

5-Http just makes you sleepy.

[Whitehall]

Sleeplessness is a symptom of depression and a broken heart too.

As to l-phenylaniline, it\'s an essential (almost) amino acid! You can hardly live without it. Long term use (in your diet) is called \"Life.\" When you\'re not brokenhearted, it\'s supplementation also improves and facilitiates orgasm.

[SwingerMD]

The adiction theory does make a lot of sense. Time is necessary to work it out of your system. In the meantime occupying yourself with new hobbies and workouts are good. When I went through my last major breakup I really hit the weights hard (loved the results) and spent lots of time taking swing classes and going out alone to dances. Dating too soon is not a good idea. It actually took about year before things felt normal again.

[MOBLEYC57]

Months = TIME

[**DONOTDELETE**]

The difference I make between depression and broken heart is that with depression, you don\'t feel anything because you\'ve put yourself past pain, everything turns to gray and just floats by you, you\'re watching from the outside, lost the connection to yourself or anyone else.

Heartbreak is your whole body hurts, like it\'s throbbing, and especially there\'s a weight that sits on your heart like a stone, your throat is sore because you want to cry all the time, and you can\'t eat and you can\'t sleep and you can\'t escape it even in your dreams you see/feel the person you lost. It\'s way more painful than depression.

But yeah, sleeplessness - at least theoretically - goes with both things and so 5-htp is good, right - especially combined with valerian root.

I say theoretically because when I\'m depressed I don\'t see any reason to get out of bed, I can sleep 20 out of 24 hours - but I guess some people do swing the other way. Besides coca leaves (ha) and caffeine, what would you do in the case of the person who\'d rather be lyin\' in bed just like Brian Wilson did?

L-phenylalanine has to do with pain receptors, doesn\'t it? I\'ll have to look it up, I haven\'t even thought about that for maybe 20 years. I used to take it every day when I was in college until my best friend who was a grad student in psychology said he didn\'t think it was good to keep taking it over years of time because we didn\'t know what that much extra in your system would do over time, maybe fry some receptors or something, I don\'t know.

But if it gives better orgasms, point me in the direction of the GNC, bay-bee...:)

[cuddlebear]

To Bass Man, your note about doing gigs and playing songs you don\'t know. That brought back some memories, man! On the actual subject, I would have to say that a broken heart is quite simply the most devastating human experience I know. I think it\'s safe to say that 90% of suicides are for this reason. And as for these people who say \"it\'s nothing, just think happy thoughts\"? These people know nothing about heartbreak and I am happy for them, but they are of no help ... cuddles

[MadMaxx]

I agree with most of what has been said. I think I was depressed for about one year each time my heart was broken in a serious relationship. What I finally did in the last case was take up dancing. This was a VERY good thing to do. I really threw myself into it, taking lessons at least 3 times a week.

[MadMaxx]

Whitehall, are you sure about the chocolate. I was reading studies on the whole PEA thing, and they claimed that even though chocolate contains PEA, ingesting it does not have the same effect as the PEA does that is produced by your body. So, which is true??? There seems to be a discrepancy between what I have read and what you are saying.

[MOBLEYC57]

Excuse me...but why are you suffering from a broken heart? You\'re doing what I\'ve done all of my life...hurting for nothing!!! Surely, everyone knows that no one that LOVES you is going to break your heart. They may disappoint you, or let you down, but break your heart...NEVER!!!! Stop taking your partner cheating on you, or wanting someone else so PERSONAL. If you had a way to look back into the future, I\'m sure you\'d find that they were cheating before you, during you, and after you. Just like no one\'s born a bigot, no one was born with the intentions of breaking YOUR heart. It will get better tomorrow, and heal with time. Why do we hurt over something caused by someone else, when the bottom line is...they couldn\'t care less? Beats me. /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif It\'s going to be alright...I\'m a living witness, and I\'m doing just FINE! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

We\'re just talking about it as a concept. I don\'t think anybody writing is broken hearted right now.

But if I were broken hearted and you said all that stuff to me, I\'d get up and walk out of the room. Far as I\'m concerned, I don\'t care if they meant to or not, they did, and I have a right to grieve and be given the time and space to grieve in my own way without anyone insisting I cheer up and not take it personally...

just food for thought from another perspective.

[Whitehall]

As to l-phenylaniline affecting pain receptors, not so. The compound that\'s implicated in increased endorphin production is the d (dextro or right-handed) version. The L (levo or left handed version) is the one that makes the dopamine - the D version does not.

To cover both bases, buy the racemic mix of phenylaniline called \"dl-phenylaniline\"

For a stay-in-bed depressive, I\'d try a little deprenyl and l-phenylaniline. But if you\'re that bad you should see a doctor.

The combination of l-phenylaniline and deprenyl is also MOST effective in get a bigger bang from your buck. too.

[Whitehall]

Am I sure about chocolate? No. It certainly contains PEA in various amounts but whether it makes it into the blood stream and crosses the blood/brain barrier is an open question.

The strongest evidence in support is its reputation as a love food. It didn\'t get that reputation and have it hold credibility for hundreds of years without some merit.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah, thanks, and that\'s good across the board advice. When I started to get that bad, I did see a doctor and got on meds quick -- it was years ago, btw, not a current issue.

[SonnyBlack]

ive devoted my time to composing intricate pieces on my syntheziser and going out with good friends and meeting other girls....she still calls me alot and I wish she would stop so I could just forget about her once and for all...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

HA! I can help you with that! If, after you\'ve begged, pleaded, said in person, on the phone, in writing, I wish you would not call me anymore, and they persist ... call your phone company and ask them to add a feature called \"Identified Call Block\" to your service. You *60 and then follow the prompts to enter the number that you no longer want to receive calls from. (Don\'t forget to enter the work number and the cell number.) You will never hear from that person at those numbers again. Bliss.

[Naughtymonkey]

Sorry Don\'t log in too often and reply, but folks.......................................try Buspar................

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Wellbutrin?

My current drug of choice, thank you! Pretty good stuff.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I dunno about PEA (or what PEA is) but chocolate has been shown to raise your oxytocin levels, I believe.

[BassMan]

<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

Wellbutrin?

My current drug of choice, thank you! Pretty good stuff.

<hr></blockquote>Gawd. No wonder yer horny alla time...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It\'s as good an excuse as any, I reckon...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I have followed this post 2 days ago.

I am recently separated, I was taking to my ex and she wanted to kick back in with me and all...she wanted a reconciliation and as a token of her will, she left our daughter with me. (Today) Then I call her to say, hey, the girl is doing fine, she got to sleep...only to find out she\'s with someone else...
Broken heart?...what heart?...I wanted to DIE...I cried, I prayed, then, when I sign on I see MOBLEYS post...
It picked me up and helped me to make room for a definitive direction...
I can see the truth, I spoke to her from the bottom of my heart and she couldnt comply.

I have all the faith in the world that as soon as I receive my order of pheros, I am going to force a change in my lifestyle and with luck find true love (with lots of fun in between)

Thanx MOBLEY
I AM

[MOBLEYC57]

You\'re so veeery welcomed Cubanacan, but I have to say that you can\'t force a change. You can want a change, hope time directs you there, and the mones...like a stiff drink to kill the pain, is not going to help, nor is going out getting laid. You telling/showing her that you wanted to give it another try, confirms where your heart is. Time is your true friend, others turn to drugs, or what have you...don\'t! Strength is a true blessing...that\'s what you\'re in need of. The heart wants what the heart wants...and when you want something so badly, you have a tendency to keep telling yourself...it\'s going to work. Each and every one of us has a click within, and it tells us that enough is enough. As for the pains of the heart...I still don\'t know how I made it this far. But I\'ve learned...as soon as you teach yourself not to take it personal...you\'ll be fine. I still say, no one that loves you is going to hurt you, and I don\'t care what no one on this forum says!!! While you\'re hurting, they\'re out there having fun with what they think is a better deal, and as soon as something goes wrong...it\'s back they come. In my 45 years of living, and getting cheated on, I have never had ONE woman that has gone out there, and didn\'t try to come back. And there has only been three that I attempted to try again, and that taught me...you can forgive, but you can\'t forget. Sounds like something to be proud of? It\'s not, but for me, it tells me that I wasn\'t that bad, and I feel good being able to look back over my shoulder and say to myself, \"Self! we did ALL that we could.\" Some people say that knowing that they\'re speaking with a forked tongue. It amazes me how people lie to themselves, knowing that they\'re lying, and believe the lie!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/shocked.gif Anyway, keep praying, and no matter how bad things are today, life goes on, it will get better tomorrow...even if you think it won\'t. Some people can\'t relate to that. I\'m glad you feel better...everyone deserves to be happy, but not at the expense of someone elses heart. Tater!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Mobes, I\'m at least with you on the lie thing, OMG, it\'s like they think if they say something loud enough and long enough, that will make it true, when you BOTH KNOW what happened, and the truth bears no resemblance to what they\'re hollerin\'. Amazing. It\'s a sickness.

Also about them always coming back. That\'s been my experience too. Because they think they\'re smart when they\'re cheating and you\'re not ... until they get cheated upon and find out how bad it hurts. Then they want back where it\'s safe. And you can\'t take them back anymore once your trust is broken. I\'ve tried, too, and learned the same lesson you did, it\'s never gonna work. But at least you know you don\'t have to live with regret as far as your actions went, so while there\'s heartbreak, you can at least free of guilt and self-recrimination, which is a huge freedom and worth the discipline of avoiding any amount of temptation. Virtue as its own reward is cold comfort maybe, but anything\'s better than having to suffer guilt on top of the pain of separation and think, if only I hadn\'t....at least you know you did the very best you could have done.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

when I say \"force\" I actually mean getting out more often, be seen, dress up more, making new friends...etc...
Let me tell you, I am not the most deep believer, but just when I thought I was helpless I stumbled upon your post and I directly interpret your post as a \"message\" to me...yes, from a higher authority.
I have a professinal career in pharmaceuticals (www.medicinas.net) and I spend waaayyy too much time by the computer and within my \"world\" if can be called like that right now. .....But I want a change, and if I identified my current situation with \"the broken hearted\"...I definitely have made a major decision when I read your message...
moreover...I have found a warm friendship in you (I guess this is how people go gay...lol)
I am 33 and I THOUGHT this was the saddest day of my life,...then, shabbboooom!!
ENTER THE MOBLEY
Thanx so much my friend (regardless of if you want to be it or not)
I am saving your message as something to hang on to when the stiff drink comes to mind...

I am

[MOBLEYC57]

It shocks me so when you agree with me!!! {{{{SMOOCH}}} But you\'ve been there too...so you have no choice /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

OH yeah. Been there, done that, bought the t shirt. Ain\'t doin\' it again, I\'m through with luv. lol

[MOBLEYC57]

Gay!!!!? AWWWH HELL NAWH!!!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif One can never have too many friends Mr. C...I\'m touched!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif You never need a drink...you just need to think!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif The mind is a powerful tool...a lot of people don\'t know that /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif Keep your head up and smile, even when inside your down, and sooner or later you\'ll start believing and feeling that good feeling of being happy. And when you cross her path...give her a damn good smile, and a happy hello!!! Go home, punch in the door, kick the dog, and eat the fish, but don\'t let her know that you still hurt inside. Take a deep breath, count to 10, and let it out slooooooooooooooooowly! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[MOBLEYC57]

Oh no RED!!! You can\'t do that!!! There\'s nothing better!!! Once you find it...everything you\'ve gone through will just disappear!!!! There\'s more than one way to skin a chicken... and you my dear, need to try other options /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif I\'m in your corner, even if you try to spank me every now and then /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif Tater!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thank you Mobes, but there\'s where we part ways. I\'m the only one who knows what\'s good for me, even if it doesn\'t look right to you. If you want to get up and do it again, be my guest, tho.

smooch back atcha

[**DONOTDELETE**]

sounds easy...will follow directions...jejeje

in the mean time...what makes u get that motivation but being watched and wanted?...makes u smile so pretty inside but a young girl wanting you?

I am not saying that pheros is the universal solution to \"the things in life\" but I have spent hours researching an learning about the other users posts and I see it has worked for a thousand \"brokenhearted\"

Switching from a phylosophical angle to a more \"earthling\" view, Its not everything but am sure it helps!....you know...that warmth feeling of being desired by someone new (sounds like a 70\'s song, I know readhead will elaborate about this line...no pun intended)

I am

[MOBLEYC57]

Oh hell nawh!!! It t\'aint easy!!!!

Mones for those brokenhearted people you\'re talking about, is that stiff drink...gives their mind something else to think about, with hopes of it turning into fun. Those that are seriously hurting from wanting a relationship to work WILL find out, just like the stiff drink, when the morning comes and the new lover is gone,...the heart will take back over. And like the stiff drink...you have to ask yourself...was it worth it? Some say yes, some say no. When I was in my teens, my girl cheated on me, so I slept with someone else hoping to ease the pain. I felt worse!!!! Some people are blessed, I guess, not to have a conscious, but I have a serious conscious. Blessed or cursed? Damn if I know!!! But I won\'t sleep with no one else until I know the last is out of my heart, and once I know, somebody else is in for some serious LOVING!!! I mean...I try to Mobleytize everything!!!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif Tater!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

That\'s cool and all, and sure it feels good to be flirted with and admired, but watch out for rebound.

Taking it back to the philosophical for a minute - I\'m dead serious about this stuff anymore, like watch myself like a hawk to see if I\'m using someone to boost my ego, thinking I need to be with someone because I\'m afraid to do for myself or to be alone, thinking I need to be with someone because of societal pressure to pair up, thinking I have to be happy all the time or it\'s not all right -- it feels good to have that \"in love\" feeling but there\'s just about nothing as disastrous as when it goes badly, so besides the fact that I pretty much don\'t believe in it anymore, I have a lot more respect for the power of it in my life and I don\'t mess with it and won\'t let anybody in close again until I\'m good and ready, and I might not ever be, and that\'s just fine, too. If I were saying this at 22, it\'d be one thing, but at 45 almost 46 now, I think I deserve a rest.

Flirt, have fun, but watch what you\'re doing and who you\'re doing it with, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear (and I mean that -- look at what they DO, not at what they say), and don\'t give your heart away easy, that\'s my best advice. One or two heartbreaks in your life, that\'s manageable, but after they start mounting you realize you can\'t do another one. For me, it\'s a matter of my health at this point. I don\'t think I could survive one more and I\'m not even vaguely interested in trying.

So don\'t let yourself get to that point if you can help it. Fools rush in. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

into mones...ok, granted the comparison of the drink...I I certainly know hows to look at someone hows not suppose to be there in the morning (not from this relationship though)
But the point is about being definitive, such as I am now, to let go as I have exhausted 8 years in marriage and months of \"lets workit out \" separation...man, I am letting go and I am seeking help in the mones, smart enough to know that is only to let room for the pain to go...I am only this talkative cuz of u my friend...I wanted to just be in the yard shooting a couple of whyskies and smoking 2 cigarrettes at the time...drugs? never have never will...
I can recognize a need MOB and I feel i want to enjoy attention...

yes

[**DONOTDELETE**]

outstanding red

thanx

I feel much better now...different angles, different issues...

Thank you SO much

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Un fuerte abrazo de tu amiga

FTR

[MOBLEYC57]

Eight years just don\'t fly out the window Mr. C...good or bad! If you\'re absolutely sure, and only you know that, go for it!!! Just don\'t expect it to take away any pain, because I can save you money and time, and tell you that it won\'t. I\'m a member of AmericanSingles, and I\'m here to tell you, there are some beautiful women on that sight!!!! But underneath all that beauty, I\'m willing to bet you that about 75% of them have some serious issues. Trying to get over someone, trying to find a sugardaddy, looking for a one night stand, etc. etc. What I\'m trying to say is, some people don\'t know themselves, and like RED said in so many words, make sure, and be careful. Rule number ONE - don\'t trust no body. Rule number TWO - never forget rule number one. Keep your guards up, and let them work it down. Listen and watch, and you\'ll always know what you\'re getting into. Annnnd cigarette smoking is bad for your health!! /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif I quit 4 March 2002 at 6:30 in the p.m. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif Tater!!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

MOB...thanx...
RED...gracias amiga
---------
I am newbie into this forum and the nones thing ...my time is usually occupied by business, but as unbeliavable as it seems, you never know where a good friend is gonna pop (as if friends go poppng around at all!!!)
Anyway, thanx for listening, I thought a lot last night looking at my 2 y/o daughter sleeping next to this desk and me learning a whole new angle in LIFE...and thats a lot to say...
I wondered \"why me...there are so many guys, who do wrong and stuff...why if I am not a bad man...\"
Well...I got an answer and its not stereotyped or cliche\'...

&gt;&gt; I learned that if I got to believe in her perhaps it would take a lot of time and more suffering, perhaps another child sleeping by my side, to realize she was cheating.
I also learner that I am not a pig, but a good father, when I look downstairs I dont recall any complaints ever about my attributes by anyone and a large number of other \"positive\" qualities that make you stop and say...I DID ALL I COULD, I HAVE BEEN ALL I CAN.
I learned that it was not coincidence I made that phone call...

Keep up around my friends...I am eternally in debt to you both (not cliche\'...but from the bottom of my heart)

[MOBLEYC57]

MOB...thanx...Glad you think I helped, but it\'s time that I go back into the closet and just read and watch. My racist ex girlfriend is up her, and she\'s passing some ugly words around. The last ugly words she passed out in my town was that I grabbed her, when I only put my hand on her back to guide her to the door, after saying that calling her a racist is like calling her a \"N\". Racist = N? Duhhh!!! Never touched her any other way!! It\'s amazing the way people are...for her to call me the big N word, but sleep with me just shows how sick she was in the head, but it\'s the best thing she could have ever done FOR me. The only things worse than a liar is a murderer, a rapist, an abuser, and a child malester. Hear that Toni? She\'s talking to some guy on here and she has him believing her, but she\'s good at that. A man that puts his hand on a woman to do anything other than massage her, caress her, hug her, or pinch her...is totally gay in my book. I found out that she use to go to work black and blue because she was out cheating. No wonder she thinks that a man that doesn\'t fight a woman is not a man. Amazing isn\'t it? Anyway, enough conversation about the ignorant...if you need to vent...MOBLEY57@HOTMAIL. (\"vent...MOBLEY57@HOTMAIL.\") Tater!!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Real interesting thread and advice by everyone. I don\'t contribute much here since I don\'t use pheros but I\'d like to add some comments to this thread.

I agree with you all that a \'broken heart\' is about as bad as it gets .... but I think maybe the guys might have a little harder time bouncing back from it than women because your confidence is completely shot. Not that it doesn\'t hurt a woman\'s self esteme because it certainly does. But like has been discussed here before , even in the year 2002 with all the advances of womens lib , a guy STILL has to be the one to make the advances.

Whan a guy has his heart ripped in half and handed to him , it takes a LONG time before he can get up enough confidence to do anything with a woman again - and some people never recover 100%. When a guy is noticably [censored] up over a woman the reaction by most is to sneer ... \" look at the whimp \" .... while a woman receives sympathy. But unlike a guy , at least there will be others interested and asking her out as the news of her being \'free\' gets around. And even though it might not make her feel much better at the time ... it\'s sure is good to know there are others that are interested in you. A guy doesn\'t have that. He has to be able to shake off the \'knockout punch\' , and go back in. But some guys aren\'t that strong - for a long time they aren\'t.

What\'s the cure ? I\'d say \'Time\' is the thing that helps everyone , though there is no guarentee that there will be a 100% recovery. I think everyone except the most calloused will show at least some scarring from it the rest of their life, just in different ways. The best thing along with time for me were my two wonderful dogs, one of which I lost last December. No matter how bad I felt and cried about things ... their love always made me feel good. Laugh about that if you want but that is the truth. They continue to love you no matter what and helped me through more than anyone. My dogs and time was it for me.

Working, playing and staying busy learning new things are great - but when you finally do shut down at the end of the day - no matter what , the silence is deafening. The working , playing, drinking, partying, drugs ( hope not ) etc etc. are really just a way to help pass the months and years needed to get over your broken heart.

I hope if there\'s someone in this thread suffering a broken heart that you can avoid it effecting your future outlook on relationships and you\'re able to get by it and try again. Though I continued to excell in my three careers and everything else after my own experiances dealing with it, I never got back to relating to women like I had before - and I admit I miss it.

At one point I was convinced I was over this crap and would do just fine without someone in my life ever again. But one day it finally it hit me that there was something missing.

I was at an award ceremony at National Geographic to receive an award for some magazine photography, the high point for me in that carreer. It was when I was there in the auditorium that it started to dawn on me that here I was ready to accept this big deal award, and had nobody with me . Man , what a [censored] up feeling to suddenly have. After accepting the thing I couldn\'t get out of there fast enough, being too embarrassed to be seen hanging around alone anymore, LOL !

But , like Ms. Redhead says, you can certainly get along by yourself, and quite well. I do and am as happy and successful as ever but I admit it could be better if there was someone special around. I agree with her though, that there comes a time when you just don\'t want to deal with it anymore. It\'s amazing how you\'re able to close the door on something so important and wonderful - that CAN or MIGHT cause pain IF things go wrong. You weigh the past results and experiances and think about what is more important ; the pleasure it brings or the pain it may cause. Seems that avoiding that pain is more important than gaining pleasure for some of us in the relationship part of out lives.

[Whitehall]

Very thoughtful post, Jim. It seems like wisdom only comes to us one way - the hard way.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

My doctor and I were having a conversation recently because he was concerned that I always ask for tests above and beyond the usual for a yearly woman\'s checkup - he said why don\'t you talk to your partner and say you\'re concerned about these things? I said because I wouldn\'t believe any assurances he gave me anyway, I want to see for myself if I\'m ok. He said so when are you gonna marry this guy? I said never, he\'s someone I see maybe once a month for sex, that\'s about the best I can do right now. Doctor says Renee, have you thought about what your life is going to be like when you\'re 65 years old if you keep on the way you are now? I said yes, I\'ll be old and alone. Doctor shook his head and said, \"You\'re tough, you\'re a tough one.\"I cried the whole drive home.It\'s just a fact, once you\'ve sustained enough damage, you can\'t do it anymore, no matter how grim the consequences. Thanks for your post, Jim.P.S., as an aside - women are MUCH meaner than men. A girlfriend will listen only so long and then she\'ll start to talk about you behind your back, a la \"Her boyfriend cheated and they broke up, you\'d think it was the end of the world, can you blame him? who wouldn\'t have predicted that? After all, she\'s *cut cut cut cutting remark*...\" Women are competitive with one another, and if you show weakness, you\'ll be pecked to death - their pity barely conceals their contempt. And while men may have to do the approaching, women have to signal that it\'s ok for them to approach...which means having the confidence to make eye contact, smile, flip your hair, do whatever. ... a guy who will come after you if he knows you\'ve been dumped is a predator to be avoided, so it\'s not useful the fact that they do come around when they see you\'re now available -- you take one up on an offer like that and it\'s for sure you\'ll be sorry. It just looks like greener grass on this side. I\'m not so sure it is. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[CptKipling]

I\'m sure you will end up happy FTR, if people like you cant, then there is no justice what-so-ever in this world.

&lt;big hug&gt;

[Whitehall]

Here\'s another candidate for ameliorating the pain of a broken heart - vasopressin.

This is a neuropeptide similar to oxytocin, meaning it is a long, unique string of amino acids that supplies a special signal to parts of the brain. It is available as a nasal spray.

It\'s forte is making one more clear-headed and reasoning while enhancing the formation of long term memories yet is capable of suppressing emotions. It is a counter-balance to the emotional effects of oxytocin. In fact, they are both made on different ends of the same master gland.

One complication is that it also suppresses urination - it\'s sometimes prescribed to bedwetters. So careful, don\'t get a snoot full of beer then use vasopression.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Prescription only?

[Whitehall]

In the US, one needs a prescription to buy vasopressin locally. However, I got mine from Europe from International Anti-Aging Systems. Their service is good (if slow) and they have a wide range of interesting products.

http://www.antiaging-systems.com/ (\"http://www.antiaging-systems.com/\")

No prescription is necessary via IAS.

These guys also point out a problem with the US health care delivery systems. I had a doctor here in California give me a prescription for Hydergine (the preminent smart drug) which I filled at a local pharmacy after checking local prices. The cheapest I could find cost the insurance company $1 per milligram for generic. IAS only charges 10 cents a milligram for real Sandoz (now Novartis.) Something\'s rotten with our system.

[Watcher]

The knowledge that people dont generally check prices elsewhere means that these people can charge extremely large amounts and get away with it.
The counter is to investigate any purchase for a cheaper or better quality alternative. Like most people who come through love-scent. Better quality, actually figures, the forum large information sources reputible suppliers .money back guareentee and competitive prices.

[Whitehall]

A young friend broke up with his girlfriend. The guy\'s a Cancer so is very attachable.

I gave him some advice - find new friends. To that end I gave him a small vial of JB#1 and the command - \"Go forth, and be cocky and funny whilst wearing two dabs of this.\"

Suddenly, he\'s so distracted that his heart is no longer so painfully broken.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

A women broke my heart once I gave her all my love and she stepped all over me, I became depressed and overweight (200+ Pounds) I enclosed myself in my apartment for about 6 months and almost got evicted. One day I was watching tv and I saw a comercial for Zoloft and i got a notion that i might have depression, I went to my GP and he referred me to a psychiatrist and I got a prescription for Wellbutrin it really helped, in a few hours i started to feel relief it was like someone released the pressure my skull that was holding me back from living the life I was supposed to. In a few days I put all those event that happend to me in the past, I started working out, i got a job and in a few months I lost all the weight I gained. Its been two years since and now I look great ( I have a six pack and eveything) the medicine just put my confidence through the roof, I recently discovered pheromones and with that combination I feel invincible.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oh yeah heres a few sites you can get prescription medications for a very cheap price

***(Online Pharmacy Iisting)***
http://www.drugbuyers.com/members/international/ (\"http://www.drugbuyers.com/members/international/\")

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Good Sites
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http://www.1drugstore-online.com (\"http://www.1drugstore-online.com\")
http://www.dru-online.com/ (\"http://www.dru-online.com/\")
http://www.epharmacyunited.com/ (\"http://www.epharmacyunited.com/\")
http://www.europharmacy.com/orderform/ (\"http://www.europharmacy.com/orderform/\")
http://www.healthcarepharma.com/ (\"http://www.healthcarepharma.com/\")
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