I need help with this one girl....

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hey y\'all

so i\'ve realized that sex isn\'t a great deal for me...the pheros and pickupguide really helped. but there\'s this one girl that i like and tonight is our first date. if i\'m interested in her long term, then i shouldn\'t jump the gun and try to get her into bed like the last girl, right? we should take it slow and i should be a little more respectful in that i value the sex more, right? i am using the tips from www.askmen.com (\"http://www.askmen.com\")

[CptKipling]

Yeah you\'re aproaching it in the right way, but just because you don\'t want to rush things doesnt mean she cant want to shag you! Try SOE as usual, perhaps a small amount of -none, if you have AE cover that with SOE.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

My 2 cents:
There really aren\'t any rules, there are only guidelines. For example, the man I was married to for 8 years and the two men I\'ve been with since, I slept with on the first date because I wanted to and I felt sure about where things would go from there. First date sex is not the issue. The issue is what you do after that. Search your heart. Iif you find you\'ve been conditioned to devalue women who are sexually open, the put it off for your own sake because you want this to be an ltr and you won\'t respect her unless the sex is postponed. But if you think you can still respect her in the morning and she wants to and you want to, there\'s no reason not to, either.

The main reason women don\'t come across on the first date or maybe the first few dates is not because they don\'t want to. It\'s because they know how men think about women who like sex.

[sirlun]

Correct, from my vast experiences, most women already have sized a man up and have determined if they are desirable sex partners or friend material in a matter of seconds. Now that isn\'t a hard and fast rule and can change (depending on the man and his intellect and humor factor) but in most cases she already has sized you up. Now in your case you are going on a date, the best way to handle yourself is to be \"you\". You are probably \"respectful\", \"thoughtful\" and all the good qualities a decent man possess. For possible long term relationships all \"dog\" characteristics need to be left out in the dog house with the dog. Treat her the way you want to be treated and take sex off the table, get across to her that you want her friendship. Remember (from the movie Coming to America) \" It\'s not what\'s between the loins but between the lobes that will make you fall in love with her forever\". Make her feel appreciated and she will recipocate in kind. Most successful long term relationships last not because the sex is so great ( it helps, but all fires eventually die down) but because their relationships continually revolve and evolve into higher levels of friendship and trust.
Treat her like a lady and you\'ll be alright.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

thanks FTR...if she did something sexual with me, i wouldn\'t at all lose respect for her, because i shouldn\'t hold a double standard...i\'d be real happy, but i def. wouldn\'t have sex on the first date...i\'d go as far as second base or something and then save it for other times...i could just lie with her and talk in bed and cuddle or something...but def. i am gonna gave to make my first kiss move tonight

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Lovely. I\'m sure it will go well. Hope you\'ll let us know.

[jose]

Try to get that good night kiss on the lips if she turns away her interest level is not high. But if you get a make out session she\'s attracted to you, and would like to see you again.

[DrSmellThis]

Personally, I am very dog influenced dog and I love dogs. Don\'t be dissin\' them. We could learn a lot from their lack of shame, genuineness, openness and compassion. Dogs are powerful healers. A dog will hump you within 10 seconds of meeting you and be your best, most accepting friend for life. The dog also accepts itself, and knows who it is with singlemindedness and integrity, unlike most of us. What\'s wrong with that? Woof woof! Even Jesus was not more loving than dogs.

If sex is super important to you, why not let a woman know it? Otherwise you\'re setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration, psychic slavery, and possible manipulation of your shameful, frustrated, hidden desires.

But otherwise is what most of us do. Yet are we really more \"respectful\" if we\'re less sexual? What beliefs about sex, nature and ourselves does this idea presume? Who told us to feel ashamed of our sexuality?

I\'ve been immediately sexual with two of my three most serious relationships. The one in which I wasn\'t was the sexually unhealthy one.

[Watcher]

Ok heres the sciencetific fact and what happens in reality.

Within 4 seconds you are sized up by women (LABELED in their minds in other words into three catorgries - NLP type)

Doable
Dateable
Friends.

Thats it and she will react to you and treat u like you are in one of those 3 categories. Dont bullshit with youreself otherwise - use pheromones to increase youre chances of going into the first one doable.