Questions on how to make great eye contact...

[**DONOTDELETE**]

What do you think is appropriate in these 2 common situations (eye contact with a woman you don\'t know, or know very little). There seems to be a fine line between staring and making enough contact to be interested in them.

-Seated and talking when you\'re facing each other. Some time ago, I heard about the \"80% rule\". Basically, you look at whoever you\'re talking to in the eye 80% of the time. This way you\'re not staring all the time, but you\'re giving her enough contact so she won\'t think you\'re not interested. How often should you shift your eye contact, like from focusing on one eye to the other?

-When you\'re walking towards someone you\'re attracted to. I\'ve read on here about looking her in the eye, not breaking away and making her either look away or smile, or say hi first. Wouldn\'t this come across as kind of creepy if she has no interest in you? What\'s the difference between staring and looking approachable?

[EXIT63]

Good question.
I keep reading about holding eye contact. Not looking away etc etc. But doesn\'t that make you look like some kind of a nut.

[SwingerMD]

A good college buddy of mine would talk about something he called, \"The double ogle with a smile.\" He said that if a gal looked you in the eye, looked away, looked you in the eye again and smiles at you that she really wants you to start a conversation with you.

I\'ve also heard about the holding eye contact thing, but it seems a bit much.

[EXIT63]

Yeah, I don\'t know nothin bout nothin but if I was a chick out dartin around and I just happened to make eye contact with a guy I thought might be doable. And he\'s just like staring me down. I\'d be like. What the f**k is up with this a**hole.

I guess it has to do with how friendly she perceives your smile. That\'s my problem. Mines much more of a s**t eatin grin. /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Nothin\' wrong with a sh*t-eatin grin.

[xvs]

Looking at a woman for an extended period of time generally will creep them out unless you talk, I find.

Sometimes that can be an interesting move: look at them until they\'re just starting to get nervous, then start talking to them in a cheery, unthreatening voice. They feel so relieved that they actually seem more receptive than perhaps they would have been otherwise.

[proteus]

I guess it\'s all about how you do the eye contact thing - you gotta smile or at the least have a look like she is the hottest piece of a** you\'ve seen in a long time - for the most part I find most fems appreciate this as long as you don\'t look like an axe murderer (y\'know, crazy gleam in the eye, strange fixated look etc :-) ).

I\'ve been trying this new eye contact pickup opener thing that I read about recently on ASF forum.....deliberately making sure she catches me looking at her, then pretending like I\'m trying to avoid getting caught staring.

IOW - you\'re looking at her, she notices, you hold a sec of eye contact then quickly look away. Then she looks away, then you start looking at her again until she turns and sees you looking again, then you quickly look away and repeat - first she\'s thinking you\'re a some bozo shy guy who can\'t stop ogling her, but as she keeps catching you looking then looking away she will often start playing along with this game of catching you looking and gets amused (if done right) - once she\'s smiling/laughing, you walk up confidently and say \"hi\" ...... I\'ve done it a couple of times and invariably the gals get extremely amused as it\'s done with a playful/cocky/fun attitude so they know I\'m just doing some \"moves\" on them

[Bruce]

I really have to agree with XVS. Overdoing the eye contact before \"breaking the ice\" can almost doom the likelihood of actually meeting the person, unless you are very good at making verbal contact. If you don\'t feel like you are going to be able to actually approach the woman, be very cool with the eye contact. Some women may have the stregth to help you out with the next step if you are very skillful with the EC. If you are oogeling and drooling, you destroy any chance you have of getting some help with step two without some major league opening lines that I personally would be very hard put to come up with.

Maybe we sould start a thread: \"how to make great verbal contact\".

Bruce

[MadMaxx]

I agree Bruce. That would be a great thread. Since some of these pheros work so great, I think a lot of us need help in that department. Several times I have had really excellent hits but am not capable of making contact and getting into something with the woman.

[Bruce]

Mad,
I hear you. I was very shy when I was young, and hardly a week would go by that I wasn\'t kicking myself in the butt for not following through on an apparent opening from a girl in a public place somewhere. I even have a few choice stories involving beautiful women trying to pick ME up and not being able to respond out of blind fear. If I could help someone avoid even one such haunting nightmare, I would feel my life had been worthwhile. ;-)

Anyway, I started the thread. Maybe the pros in this department can set us on the path.

Bruce

[DrSmellThis]

I like looking confidenly right into a woman\'s eyes, knowing I\'m the s-h-i-t, and holding it until she turns away -- establishing my dominance -- then following up with a friendly introduction, without much delay. Then perhaps, the 80% thing.

This is similar to XVS\'s advice, I just realized.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I bet you are the sh*t, too, doc.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Bruce, and forum members:

I know from experience that holding eye contact too long makes you look like a stalker/serial killer. If you see a target that you want to get to know, do something to get their attention (ex: play with your watch, ring, bracelet, say something that makes people laugh.) and when you caught that person\'s attention, look them directly in the eyes, shoot a flirtatious smile, hold eye contact, glance away.

Then, look at the target from the corner of your eye to see if the person is looking at you. If he/she is, lock eye contact and smile. If the target returns the smile, waves, etc. Approach and talk to that person, use a natural introduction \"Hello/Hi, I\'m \'me\' how are you?\" Most important, SMILE, be polite, to show that you\'re extremely nervous.

This approach worked for me a few times, and it worked for several of my friends, male and female.

DISCLAIMER: The writer of this post is NOT responsible for back-fires, shoot-downs, slaps to the face, kicks to the genitals, mortification infront of friends/strangers.

LOL

[Whitehall]

The time for a deep stare into the eyes of a target is when she is DIHL. Build on the mesmerization by locking eyes and talking slowly and with a deep voice. Mention the you/me connection and \"feelings\" she has about being with a man - the ol\' Vulcan Mind Meld but without necessarily touching although a safe touch is better if you can get away with it. How personal and direct one can speak and touch is a function of the setting and it\'s safety for her.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

FTR:
I have long suspected that you were an exceptional woman, but quoting Tom Robbins confirms it....

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thank you kindly for the compliment. Today\'s a day it\'s sorely needed.

[CptKipling]

Whats up FTR? We\'re here for you.

*big hug* /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I sure appreciate it. Everything\'s fine. Just a little tired. A lot going on lately. Nothing that won\'t remedy itself.

[CptKipling]

Ok, I\'m sure you know best.

Keep smiling! /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif

[a.k.a.]

Jaeger\'s approach sounds perfect, as a rule of thumb. But there are also situations where you can tease a girl with your eyes and she likes it.

The best thing is to learn body language. (Practice different looks in the mirror. Get to know lots and lots of people. Observe how they look when they\'re scared, curious, flattered, etc....)This way your eyes become the first line of communication, and you can use them creatively as the situation requires.

It\'s helpful to have guidelines, but you can\'t reduce the art of seduction to a series of rules.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Also another good idea is to go out and observe these kind of things happen. Clubs, bars, parties, schools (mainly colleges), shopping malls, etc are great places for \"field work\". Just look at a male talking to a female or vice versa, and pay attention to what he/she is doing......also, don\'t spy unless you want a black eye. LOL