a very very bad day

[xxxPantero]

well, no reactions to the pheromones, maybe i didn\'t put enough

but that\'s no matter:

my gf\'s mother\'s live-in boyfriend forbid me from ever seeing my gf again, and also from ever coming near her or he\'s calling the cops

the sad part is i didn\'t even do anything. but my gf\'s mom was speaking to my stupid mom and my stupid mom said that i\'m scary when i\'m angry and some [censored], and how i go crazy, and so my gf\'s mom\'s boyfriend got pissed and kicked me out

it\'s a longer story involved, but that\'s the basics of it

tonight i broke down sobbing on the turnpike, and i have not cried for years, so i felt kind of weird
my heart hurts

so right now, i have an entire cup of tequila (8 oz.) and i get wasted off of one shot (i can\'t hold my liquor well - lightweight)
wish me luck and hope that i don\'t fall down on any sharp edges of the tables in my room

what a shame i don\'t have the balls to put a knife to my wrist

word of advice for everybody: never let your parents get involved with any relationship you take seriously. nothing good will come of it. for those of you that are parents, stay out of your kids lives, as you had wished your parents would have.

[xxxPantero]

i hate it when i cry again

[Buddydust]

xxxPantero,It\'s not the end of the world.We all go through some hardships.Believe me,it\'s true.But it\'s not worth killing yourself over it.It\'s not the fact that you don\'t have any balls,you just know better than to do that.I agree,parents shouldn\'t be involved in your relationship-Point.My advice,put down the tequila.It only acts as a depressant and it will not do you any good.Second,Talk to your mom.Ask her why did she say that to your gf\'s mom.You might have a hard time convincing her mom and even her mom\'s bf that you\'re Really a Nice Guy.But if you really love her then don\'t give up.I think the other guys can give some better advice.Anyone?

[xxxPantero]

when my mom said it, she doesn\'t take it seriously, she exaggerates

but my gf\'s mom takes everything with seriousness

[xxxPantero]

when my mom said it, she doesn\'t take it seriously, she exaggerates

but my gf\'s mom takes everything with seriousness

[Buddydust]

Try talking to your gf\'s mom if you can.If you can convince her that you\'re really a nice guy(and you seem like one) than all is not lost.She might be able to calm down or convince her bf that you\'re Ok.It\'s worth a shot.

[xxxPantero]

her mother won\'t talk to me

my gf\'s first boyfriend really WAS psychotic, and they have a restraining order against him

and my gf\'s mom holds grudges tightly

if anyone can talk her out of it, it won\'t be me, her daughter, her live-in bf, my parents, anyone

only someone that she considers better than herself, which is... no one

trust me, i already tried

[Buddydust]

What about your gf? Is there any way you can talk to her on the phone or meet in private? I only ask because now I think it\'s up to your gf now.She has to listen to her own daughter.I mean if she can\'t trust her own daughter\'s decision to be with you,then she has issues.I understand that she is trying to protect her from all the bad in the world,but eventually she will have to let go.It\'s not a lost cause-yet.But I still believe there\'s hope.

[xxxPantero]

i think we\'ll have to meet in secret or never meet again.
worst case scenario: i\'ll have to dump my gf to make her life easier

my parents call it love
my gf\'s mother calls it a disease

we see each other on the weekends only, and talk on the phone the rest of the week for about an hour or two

how is this obsession?

yet the mother finds it okay to have a live-in boyfriend?

hypocrisy at it\'s finest.

[Buddydust]

Hopefully you won\'t have to dump her.Ask her how she feels about the situation.If she wants to break up,she will let you know.But if she really loves you,then she will do anything to stay together with you.As for her mother,it might be a lost cause.You can only beat a dead horse so many times.Hopefully she will eventually see the light and realize that you\'re alright.

[xxxPantero]

she doesn\'t want to break up. that\'s the thing

oh well, living well is the best revenge. it\'s just that it\'ll take another 3 years for me to live well and get that mansion down by the beach /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif

[Buddydust]

Cheer up,brighter days are ahead.I know,easier said than done.Trust me,in the long run,her mother(and even your mother) will realize that they have done wrong.Granted,it\'s understandably to worry about your children and watch out for their well-being,but they will have to fly away from the nest sooner or later.Now the last thing she wants is to drive her own daughter away.That situation might just make her see clearly.I\'m glad to hear that she doesn\'t want to break up with you.She truly loves you.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

If she doesn\'t want to break up, then she\'ll find a way to see you no matter what her mother or anybody else says or does. She will. Cheer up, baby. How old is your girlfriend?

[xvs]

Are you SURE there were no reactions to the pheros?

If you used TE, you were wearing -none.

Sounds like the GF\'s mom reacted pretty negatively to you.

Could be a -none reaction.... too much -none and you SEEM like an overbearing alpha... who could very well be psycho.

My advice: if you are ever going to be around her again, get some A1 and put on a HEAVY overdose of it. She will feel relaxed and happy around you, though you may be nervous as hell...

[xxxPantero]

FTR, she is 20

and it wasn\'t the pheros, because i didn\'t reapply after i went to the pool

and this happened while i wasn\'t around the mom

[**DONOTDELETE**]

xxxPantero:

I know you feel like sh*t now, and believe me, I\'ve been there before. Remember the old saying \"There are other fish in the sea.\" I\'m sure you probably don\'t want to hear that, but just keep it in mind. Every person that posts on this forum has stuff in common, and we share ideas, feelings, thought, etc with eachother. We\'re all here to help eachother out and learn new things.

Just try to relax, and let things flow. It\'ll work out.

[Bruce]

I agree with XVS; my first reaction to your story was \"serious NONE overdose\": 19 yo latino, athletic build, tatoos, body pierced (I read your bio.. ;-) ). Dude... That\'s all great for your gf, but NOT her mom. BTW, when you have some spare time ask me what my Japanese father in law had to say to me the first time I met him. Anyway, I didn\'t give up and now we\'re married with 2 kids and the old guy thinks I\'m great. Or maybe he just wants to retire in the US. Anyway, like everybody is telling you, I wouldn\'t give up. Talk to anybody who will listen and rather than deny all the nasty things they are saying about you, I would say stuff like \"give me a chance to prove myself\". Also, have a really long mother and son discussion. Tell her how much you love this girl and that this mess is breaking your heart. Whatever you do, don\'t freak out about it. You absolutely must stay cool around these people or you will make their fantasies about you come true.

OK, I don\'t want to ramble too much. Just talk to your mom and your gf (if possible) for starters. Chill, don\'t blow up at folks, and hey... we love you.

Bruce

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Pantero, I was in love with someone from age 14 to 30. My mother wouldn\'t let me see him, completely forbade me, even had a hysterical hissy fit and lay in bed for a week over it, said it put her back out, she was so upset, I kid you not. My mother was real handy with a belt, too, if you made her mad or disobeyed. Do you think any of that stopped me for one second? I took up babysitting and as soon as the kids were asleep, he\'d come over. She\'d have had to kill me to stop me.If she wants to see you, she\'ll see you, no matter what she has to go through at home to do it. If she defies her parents for you, don\'t abandon her, thinking to make her life easier. You\'d probably just make her life more miserable. My point of view is probably unorthodox on this, but I think mature adults patronize young people as regards their emotions. She\'s 20 years old, she has a right to make some mistakes if that\'s what they\'re going to be, and she has a right to make her own choices. The situation sucks out loud, no question. But if you love her and she loves you, then persevere however you can, and have faith. And I completely agree with Bruce, stay calm and try to negotiate. And we do love you.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

We\'re all one big, happy, phero-wearing family

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Dude I would sugest heavy nol/rone(soe) and beeing realy nice to the mother, apollogize(I know you did nothing wrong but when a moron feel wrong and this is a hindreance to you...... SUCK UP, bigtime) Flowers laced with nol.......

Satan

And if that doesn´t work... f - u - c - k em, this is about you and your GF not her assenine family( like get an apartment and move in with your gf....(20 is leagal age where you are
(land of the not so free and home of ricki lake), right??!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

i\'d say see her in secret

aresx - who\'s glad he\'s not xxxpantero

[**DONOTDELETE**]

There\'s not much that can be said to make you feel better, but contemplating suicide is not the answer, doing that is a sure way of losing.

Her mother seems to be over-protective, and whenever I\'m involved in a relationship I always try and keep my parents out of it, they love me, but they do sometimes make a mess of things.

Anyway, if both of you want to continue the relationship, her parents won\'t be able to stop you from meeting. Do your best to move out of the house as quickly as possible (this is hard, I know), afterwards you can have your gf move in, and her parents won\'t have a word, or you get a restraining order agains *them*.

Don\'t give up and have faith, we\'re all here to help and listen if you ever need it.

[franki]

I don´t think this overreaction from your gf´s mother was caused by TE. Assuming she is about 40 (since your gf is 20) it wouldn´t be that easy to OD, especially since your not a big guy.

Good luck! /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[proteus]

Hey xxxpantero if she really wants to still see you she will find a way as has already been said so just hang in there and take it easy and even if you don\'t, keep your head up, go out and take it a day at a time - things have a way of working out in the end

[EXIT63]

.... She\'s 20 years old, she has a right to make some mistakes if that\'s what they\'re going to be, and she has a right to make her own choices...

Dude, come on, she\'s 20 years old. She can make her own decisions. If she wants to be with you she will. If she doesn\'t, she won\'t. If it is meant to be. The two of you will find a way to make it happen.

As far as her mother is concerned. Try to be as smooth and suave as possible when you\'re telling her to go [censored] herself.

As far as that suicide bullshit is concerned. Don\'t be stupid. I know 4 people that took their own. Really 3, the fourth one is inconclusive. And in all cases. It was the stupidest thing they ever did. Unfortunately, they didn\'t live to regret it.

The BIGGEST thing is. Whatever you do,.
DO NOT
DO NOT
DO NOT
get this girl pregnant.! ! ! ! !

This thing is complicated enough already without making it 10 million times more complicated.

PEACE

[EXIT63]

And what\'s with this censorship ?

[jose]

Like some people have said, get your own apartment, girlfriend moves in and your away from your parents problem solved. Now if you don\'t have a job you are screwed and you\'re going to have to meet in secret. Also get your girlfriend (if she has a job) to start saving money for a place to live, she can also live with a friend as a roommate till than. As for the mother you can\'t win she\'s always going to be angry you took her little girl away.

[xxxPantero]

heres\' our situation:

i have two-three years left ahead of me before i can find a job good enough to move out (at at least $36,000 a year - which is $3,000 a month)
my gf is still in school, has never had a job, doesn\'t have a car
my car keeps breaking down all the time, in the meanwhile /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif

i might get another job, in the meanwhile, but that only gets me about $400 a month at part time /ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif

in the meanwhile, i\'m waiting for my online business to kick off, since I just got started about a month ago. In about 6 months, i will be making at least a good $600 a month, residaul income /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

oh and here\'s the situation NOW

my gf wanted me to meet her at a Barnes&Noble, and wasn\'t going to be shy about letting her mother know about seeing me, with the mentality \"you can\'t stop me from going to a public place\" but i had to tell her no, because i know her mother wouldn\'t have liked it, and would have prevented me from seeing her even more, if things ever calmed down.

my gf wouldn\'t understand, called me \"afraid\", \"scared\" and a \"pus.sy\" and a \"sell-out\" but i had to tell her no, it wouldn\'t be best for me to meet her, since she wouldn\'t be keeping it secret or anything

did i do the right thing? now my gf is pissed at me.

oh well, if she breaks up with me b/c she\'s pissed, it\'ll make both of our lives a little easier
if she doesn\'t, good for me, and she will come to understand that it\'s for the best that i don\'t come over today (the barnes and noble is walking distance from her house, about 2 minutes)

so did i do the right thing? i\'m trying to be smart and not be ruled by emotions right now.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I think it is.

Basically your gf seems upset about her mom and wants to piss her off, not the best way to get back on good terms and it may lead to more family quarrelling.

The best thing to do is to talk to your gf, explain to her that being smart and acting calmly isn\'t being a \"p*ssy\", and that she should help you to resolve this in a more calmer note. I think that taking a full frontal assault would be a bad move.

just my 2 cents though.

Hang in there /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[jose]

Don\'t let your girlfriend get you in the middle between you and her mom, be firm and strong and if she doesn\'t like it tell her she can see someone else. Tell her you will be getting a apartment in a couple of months and everything will be cool. She might as will get off her fat ass also and get a job as well, she\'s 20 years old isn\'t she? Time to get out of the house. Personally I think this family must be screwed up and you will be wasting your time and energy on this girl. Plenty of other women out there that won\'t call you name\'s, she sounds immature.

[koolking1]

Move on. forget it. Be your own man. Lots of Lovelies are out there - find one.

[DrSmellThis]

Thanks for filling out your profile.

Since you,ve been using all -none, you\'d be a good one for using -nol, -rone, A1, NPA, and EW; and then, telling us the difference each makes. I hope you do this. AE and NPA would be a good start.

[Watcher]

Agreed AE and NPA would be a great start, you could also try avoiding -none altogether and go with SOE (-rone and -nol only)

www.anitadoth.com (\"http://www.anitadoth.com\")