Question for the Guys???????

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hello Everyone!

Just 2 quick questions. Being female, I do sometimes have trouble understanding men (I\'m sure it\'s visa versa for you). Wondering if you could inform me on two things:

1) If you stare at a girl or even continually glance at her, should she take that as a sign that you\'re interested?

2) I find men have quite a bit more confidence to approach women than visa versa...... is it common for men to be too shy to approach a women/girl they\'re attracted to? If a man is too shy, what are some signals we can pick up to know that it\'s safe to approach him?

Thanks and have a great day!
Hunny_Bunny

[**DONOTDELETE**]

some guys will look but never approach. depending on their confidence level. i use to be like this.
if you want the guy to come up to you, it helps to look approachable. dont look like you dont want to be bothered.
shy guys actuallly like it when girls make the first move. if a guy is checkin you out and doesnt make a move after the 10 or so eye contacts then its safe to say he wants you but is a bit insecure and that you should make the first move.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

also: if hes not directly looking at you but blinks when you look at him he\'s lookin at you at the corner of his eye.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah, I look at a lot of cute girls but rarely ever try to talk to them.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

To answer your questions:

1) Staring and glancing are definitely signs of physical attraction - however, if a girl isn\'t very friendly towards a guy, then chances are the guy isn\'t very interested at all. If the guy doesn\'t know the girl, or if the girl is friendly towards him, then most likely he\'d love to give it a shot - but he lacks confidence, which brings me to your second question:

2) I find it very common that men are too shy to approach women - at least that\'s my case. If I\'m interested in a girl, it\'ll usually be after a long time of talking to her, being around her, and in general starting to feel at ease around her, that I\'ll tell her I\'m interested in her. (Unless it\'s a \"just-got-to-meet-you\" environment such as a club/party)

My advice to you would be to make the first move - approach the shy guy, start talking to him, make him feel at ease around you, then it\'ll be much easier for him to make the second move (or you can up the ante by being flirtatious from the very start - I would assume that most shy guys would feel very flattered by it (I know I do!) and would encourage them to make a move).

Good luck!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Also, there\'s a difference between ogling (at body parts...) and staring out of interest. Both involve signs of physical attraction, but olging doesn\'t always mean that the man is interested in a relationship with the girl.

[Gerund]

1) Oh yes, absolutely.

Men simply don\'t continue to eyeball someone they don\'t have an interest in. And to reinforce my statement, consider this: A guy will intentionally avoid looking at a girl he is *not* attracted to -- because he doesn\'t want to give her the idea that he has any romantic interest.


2) Of course it\'s common for men to be too shy to approach a female they\'re interested in. A guy may hold back for any number of reasons: he may think he\'s too old for her (my particular bugaboo); he may think she already has a boyfriend, especially if he often sees her talking with guys. Conversely, a guy will hesitate to approach a girl when she\'s in the company of one or more girlfriends -- he simply doesn\'t know how to proceed.

As to the second half of the question: It\'s always safe to approach a shy guy. As for signals, I\'m not sure there are any, except that you have noticed him looking at you enough to catch your attention.

If you are fairly certain that a shy guy is interested, and you\'ve decided to approach him, there are really only two things to keep in mind. The first and foremost thing for a woman to remember when desiring to connect with a guy is to smile. Smile during conversation, smile from a distance. This boosts his confidence and empowers him in subtle but powerful ways. I know that may not make sense to you, and if that\'s the case, all I can do is say, \"trust me -- it\'s a guy thing.\"

The second thing is to single him out for conversation to enough of a degree that he\'ll realize you are being more than \"socially polite.\" And that\'s really about all you need to know; guys are pretty linear.

Sure, there\'s a hundred finer details, and things you can finesse. But when dealing with a shy male, remembering those two things I mentioned will enable you to make a connection, if it is at all possible to make a connection.

Number 1: Smile a lot, up close and from afar, letting him know it\'s meant for him specifically.
Number 2: Talk to him long enough and/or often enough so that he realizes you\'ve singled him out for attention.

Then you\'re a lock. Good luck, Hunny Bunny /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Wow, thanks for all your help guys. I definately have a better understanding. I\'ll do the smile thing for sure...... the actual approaching..... eeek, I don\'t know if I can. I\'ll try to get up the guts. If I am rejected, I\'ll probably run and keep running until I reach my car -- in which case I\'ll then start speeding home until I reach my bed under which I\'ll hide for the next 4 weeks due to the horrific embarrassment.....lol.

Thanks again,
Bunny

[Gerund]

Wow, the longest I ever hid under my bed was 2 weeks... /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif (I\'ve found it helps to keep some comic books and a flashlight underneath the bed for such emergencies)

Good luck, cute stuff.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hey,

I know this is a little of topic, but...

It would seem that handling/not handling rejection is a topic that is on everyone\'s mind. I think a lot of it has to do with your perspective. A rejection can only be a rejection if you let it. It can also simply be a mistake or a misunderstanding. If I notice a girl that I believe is attracted to me, I approach. I have found that most people don\'t want to hurt your feelings anyway. If it turns out to be one of those rare cases that confirm all of you worst fears, it doesn\'t have to be the end of the world. The most important thing is how YOU handle the situation. One of the very best things that you can learn is the ability to like someone without requiring them to like you. I\'ve liked women that hated my guts, but I still admired them for all the same reasons I did originally. It is possible to preserve your self respect even in the most awful of situations.

Scenario #1:

Let\'s say that you are in a club and you notice someone looking at you. They have looked at you several times. You work up your courage and go over to them and say hi. They look at you and laugh saying \"not in a million years baby\". You HAVE choices. You can run and hide under your bed. You can become a nun. You can say \"I\'m sorry. I made a mistake. Your not the kind of person that I thought you were. Excuse me.\".

Scenario #2:

Your in a club (I\'m using the club thing, because it seems like it would be more embarrassing). You notice an attractive person looking at you. They give you a smile. You decide to approach. You sit down with them and start chatting. A couple of the person\'s friends join them at your table. The person leans to you and whispers \"I\'m sorry. I\'m not interested\". You could run away. You could cry. You could get all flustered and make a fool out of yourself. You could simply say \"Oh. I\'m sorry. I think I misunderstood you. I thought that you seemed interested.\" then politely excuse yourself from the table.

The bottom line is that EVERYONE is not going to like you. They are most certainly not going to like you less if you show that you like them. If you encounter someone that is not interested, then you have simply found one of the people that you already know exist that isn\'t going to like you. It\'s really up to you. You can handle it with grace and dignity, or you can simply fall apart.

My favorite response anytime I\'m faced with a rejection is to look the person in the eye and say. \"Oh. That\'s too bad. I think your really (nice or neat or attractive or whatever), but thanks for being honest. Have a great night. Bye\". I\'ve actually ended up going out with women that I said that to.

Later,
sigipa

[SwingerMD]

Hunny_Bunny,

1. Staring maybe . . . but the thing to watch for is the double take with a smile. The guy glances at you once, looks back and smiles. (I also see this with women too)

2. As for sending signals back glancing, smiling, and hair flipping (esp. many of us on the forum) would be a good signal to tell him you are intersted.

As for coming up to a guy, I know it\'s probably hard (it\'s definatly hard for me to approach a girl) but, sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and take chances. A lot of times when I\'m out dancing it is usually traditional for a guy to ask a girl, but I have been having a lot a girls come up to me to ask me to dance since the follows usually outnumber the guys. Then again it could me the mones /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif .

[MadMaxx]

Hunny,

I don\'t think you have to go so far as to make the move and strike up a conversation with the guy. I can imagine that would be pretty tough, since it is tough for most guys. So, what you could do, besides what has already been mentioned is something that may seem lame, but would definitely work if the guy has been giving signs that he is inerested; absolutely anything that makes contact; asking him what he is reading, what time it is, how the double chocolate mocha is that he just ordered, anything, even if it is lame. Chances are he\'ll get the conversation rolling after that. Remember, guys are probably more willing to talk to a women than women are willing to talk to strange men. Most men aren\'t sick of women trying to pick them up and chat them up all the time.

[DrSmellThis]

Dear Hunny Bunny,

If you give a smile and lingering eye contact, that should be enough to make him come over. If not, it\'s your choice whether you still want to pursue him.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hey, Hunny Bunny. Try making the approach, it\'s an interesting experiment and you\'ll have more respect for men when you get done, or, I did. I\'ve found it helps to have a guy friend to bounce things off of. I used to be friends with a guy who sat next to me at work, and one night I was out clubbing and saw this guy I thought was attractive, so I went up to him and asked him if he\'d like to dance. The music was so loud he couldn\'t hear me, so I\'m standing on my tiptoes trying to talk in his ear, \"Would you like to dance?\" He turned straight around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, \"NO.\" My co-worker friend said that\'s why men invented liquor. What you do in that case is go directly to the bar and belt down a shot of something straight.

How guys go through it all the time amazes me. It\'s one reason I stopped being coy.

[Watcher]

Guys should make the move, its just modern day political correctness that gives men the idea have to wait for women to move. Its plain laziness on the part of men. OK now criticizim to come my way but oh well.

[EXIT63]

Hunny,
As the others have said. Smile, look friendly and approachable. When it comes to making the first move. I\'m not sure I understand your fear of rejection. How COULD ANYONE resist you..lol

Once I had a girl tell me, (this is an exact quote), \"I COULDN\'T DRINK THAT MUCH ! ! !

Don\'t feel sad. Just rationalize it the same way guys do. SHE\'S GAY. Or in your case. HE\'S A HOMO.

Always be confident and charming. But most importantly. Always wear really tight pants. And spaghetti straps. Guys cannot resist tank tops with spaghetti straps.

Now get out there and KICK THEIR ASSES.

[proteus]

I agree with you Watcher - and if a guy doesn\'t have the balls to make the first move as he should, genetics is just weeding him out because he will be unsuccessful in the \"dating\" game. Now if a woman makes the move I have no problem with that but I\'m not waiting around for her to approach me.

And as for the initial question in this thread, if a guy is looking at you, he is interested as has already been said. Just smile at the guy - this lets him know you won\'t bite of his head if he says hi, and if anything make it easy for him to approach you e.g. if out with friends and you see a guy you like and he is indicating interesting, try to get away from your group time to time to give him opportunity to approach you - most guys find groups of ladies together intimidating.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

\"How guys go through it all the time amazes me. It\'s one reason I stopped being coy.\"

Most guys don\'t go through it all the time. Instead they spend the time just standing around drinking. The few that do go through it \'all the time\' usually don\'t care the slightest about the particular woman they approach. If they don\'t get anywhere with one girl, they just move on and hit on someone else. And if they do get somewhere, they usually still don\'t care about her.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

How much would a rational person expect a total stranger to care about them? Guys who hit on you in bars are looking to score, as someone else here said, we\'re just \"f*ck fodder\" -- collecting at least phone numbers they don\'t intend to use if not pubic scalps. It\'s a game you can play if you feel like it, that\'s all. My experience just made me a little more sensitive to shooting a guy down in public. I didn\'t mean go through being shot down, though. I meant I had a new admiration for men in the fact that they basically shoulder the burden of making the first approach. It looks easy until you\'ve done it yourself.

[CptKipling]

Hunny Bunny,

As with all things, initiating with guys will get easier and mroe intuitive with time. Start off just talking to them, perhaps with some you dont find extreemly attractive. When it comes to rejection, you can be safe in the knowledge that that particular guy has bad taste, and doesnt know what hes missing, too dumb to see the super sexy side of you, and so doesnt desearve to have you anyway, you were wrong about him, hes not that attractive. Seriously, say this to yourself. Also, remember that how ever many times you get regected, it has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on your attractiveness or future success with men.

[BassMan]

My usual approach is to notice something about the woman that I can use to build a conversation. Doesn\'t need to be much - an unusual piece of jewelery, something she\'s carrying. \"Geez, that dress is hot\" never worked for me /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif That gives you at least a couple of sentences of safety. Then I pay attention to see if she\'s interested. If somebody is interested, and you can get a couple of moments of conversation started, s/he\'ll let you know. If not, ya let the conversation die, smile sweetly, say, \"see ya\", and wander off.

The (unfortunately too few, in this ultraconservative town) women who approach me generally use the same approach. I\'ve taken to wearing silly hats...

The corollary to this is, if you want more men to approach you, give them something to start a conversation with.

[Whitehall]

When I hit a bar or lounge, I scope the place out, checking out the females and their social arrangements. After a short while, I look at the ones I\'m interested in, hoping for a look back. If the eyes lock, then I try to find a way to strike up a conversation.

The major problem is that some women don\'t think to make themselves approachable; they sit at a table with all the chairs taken by their friends, or they stand in front of the loudspeakers so you can\'t communicate, or they let themselves be surrounded by \"beta males\", etc. May advice is make sure that a guy can get to you without walking a tightrope or otherwise exposing himself to a very public \"crash-and-burn\" if he has to back off. He needs a merciful retreat path. A woman can give me come-hither looks all night but if she can\'t think to make herself approachable, she won\'t get approached.

One technique I admire is for an interested women to move up to a guy and stand so that he can\'t miss her. For example, I go to the bar to buy a drink and the woman stands behind me so that when I turn around, there she is in front of me looking up with a big smile. How can I NOT talk with her? She\'s not being too forward either and has a retreat path if needed.

I try to put myself in the other person\'s shoes (or pumps) and think a couple of moves ahead.

[Gerund]

Hunny Bunny~

Go back and re-read MadMaxx\'s post; I think he\'s dead on. Most men aren\'t sick of women trying to pick them up all the time -- and the topic of conversation you open with just really doesn\'t matter, no matter how lame it may sound to you... /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

1. Yes.

2. If he looks away or looks down when you catch him looking at you, he\'s probably interested but shy.

[xvs]

My favorite pickup line is:



\"hi!\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

A minimalist, I like it.

[jamesdeanmartin]

1) If you stare at a girl or even continually glance at her, should she take that as a sign that you\'re interested?

Yes. The more I\'m interested in a girl, the more I\'ll look back and see if she is looking at me. I\'m shy, so this is one of the easiest ways to tell if I am interested in a girl.

2) I find men have quite a bit more confidence to approach women than visa versa...... is it common for men to be too shy to approach a women/girl they\'re attracted to? If a man is too shy, what are some signals we can pick up to know that it\'s safe to approach him?

I think approaching a guy when he is alone is best. When he\'s in the pack, you run the risk of hearing a bunch of lines or him having to prove his manliness to the other guys. So try to isolate the guy and just approach him one-on-one. I really wish more girls would approach me, but all my female friends say they\'d never approach me because I give off an intimidating aura.

JDM

[Andy]

I still don\'t get it. Why are some people scared like hell of approaching someone ? We always do this, with lots of reasons ,naturally. As soon, as \"personal intentions\" come on the field, they got scared like Mr.Weener (alternative Mrs.). They won\'t start to yell, like you are trying to rape them, they won\'t start throwing heavy objects at you. Just relax and talk a \'lil bit. Just start up a conversation.

[Buddydust]

\"I still don\'t get it. Why are some people scared like hell of approaching someone ? We always do this, with lots of reasons ,naturally. As soon, as \"personal intentions\" come on the field, they got scared like Mr.Weener (alternative Mrs.). They won\'t start to yell, like you are trying to rape them, they won\'t start throwing heavy objects at you. Just relax and talk a \'lil bit. Just start up a conversation. \"

Well Andy,coming from a shy person,I can say that some of us are scare of rejection.Or that person might have a boyfriend/girlfriend lingering around.I use to be scared of asking a girl for her phone number,but I\'m getting better.The only thing is,that I HAVE to get her alone.I don\'t approach a girl if she is with her friends or a guy.Once in a while,I get the numbers,but my Main Problem is keeping her \"Intellectually Interested.\"I couldn\'t hold a decent conversation with her to save my life.I never know what to talk about.

[Andy]

@Buddy

Ok .. this conversation problem was hitting me hard in the past too. I\'ll try to help you and explain how I partially solved it...

You might be the smartest person in the world, college profs might call you late in the nite and ask you stuff. But you will reach the point that you just don\'t know what to say to somebody you want to get closer to. Why\'s that ? Have you have had such problems with your friends ? Guess not, so what\'s the problem ? It\'s sheer insecurity on your part, you question yourself all the time, whether you are entertaining enough or not. Aight ? (quote Buddy: ... my Main Problem is keeping her \"Intellectually Interested.\" ...) You are limiting yourself and prejudge what seems to be interesting for her. I think that\'s natural. You just will want to avoid setting the theme of your conversation.. just pick her information up and use it. It\'s mostly like this ...

Q:Where are you from ?
A:Brumbolinga Tamatawa
Q:I\'ve never been there .. how is it there ?
A:It\'s nice, but it\'s a bit too quiet for moe.
Q:Is it really that quiet ? What would you prefer ?

.. the key is .. !never! ask questions that might be answered with \"yes\" and \"no\" .. your conversation partner should start to tell you things you hadn\'t asked for quite soon. Whenever this is not happening and your cp will keep answers beeing short over a long time (you\'d feel it, I bet), move on and find another target. The interest level is just too low and you might waste your time on this one.

The point about rejection :

This might sound strange, but I like to be rejected. Not that I like the feeling by itself, but the sign \"you did something wrong\" is blinking in all-caps over my head. That\'s something to work with. But! Something is wrong with someone that\'s giving you one of these \"coldshoulder rejections\" right in the beginning. Do you \"reject\" people that are just trying to talk to you ?

Ok ... I\'ll try to explain it later in a more detailed way but I am in a hurry now to test the DIHL locking ... /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

The thing is, if you do approach this person, especially on a campus, you\'ll likely be seeing them around often..... which will be uncomfortable if they\'ve \"rejected\" you. Furthermore, one can be certain that every time you pass by this person with his/her friends, the first thing they\'ll say to their friends is, \"that chick/guy tried picking me up the other day\". Which means even more staring eyes. Do you get what I\'m saying???? If you\'re in a club, you\'ll never see them again...... if you\'re part of the same social group, you\'ll have to deal with it all the time.

[proteus]

What is most folks favourite subject?? Themselves!! If you really have a genuine interest in getting to know a lady you\'re interested in then focus on talking about her, getting to know her, asking her questions etc. - you can never run out of stuff to talk about if you just relax, show her you\'re interested in what she has to say, listen and go with the flow. The hard part is the initial approach and getting her to \"begin\" talking to you - after that if you just keep the focus on her and do the above you will never run out of things to say. If on the other hand she is quiet by nature then that\'s a diff. story, but there\'s ways to get her talking if she\'s the quiet type too :-)
<<<<<
You wrote:
Well Andy,coming from a shy person,I can say that some of us are scare of rejection.Or that person might have a boyfriend/girlfriend lingering around.I use to be scared of asking a girl for her phone number,but I\'m getting better.The only thing is,that I HAVE to get her alone.I don\'t approach a girl if she is with her friends or a guy.Once in a while,I get the numbers,but my Main Problem is keeping her \"Intellectually Interested.\"I couldn\'t hold a decent conversation with her to save my life.I never know what to talk about.

[proteus]

well for a guy this can work in his favor - I think folks worry too much what others think. So what if someone says \"he tried to pick me up\" - I know and have seen/experienced enough to know that if I am going out/approaching etc. sure I\'ll get shot down, and sure I may come across that person and they may talk about me to their friends, but funny thing is it can also make folks intrigued about you especially if you give off the air that you don\'t give a damn what anyone\'s saying and next thing you know you get approached by one of these friends. Now it may be different for a lady, but from a guy\'s perspective this can work in your favor as long as you don\'t come off as the desperate guy who hits on every lady he sees.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Re people gossiping: 1. F*ck \'em if they can\'t take a joke. 2. Think of it as public service: if they\'re busy talking about you, they\'re giving someone else a break. Cultivate nonchalance. Yeah, I hit on him/her. He/she wasn\'t interested. I cry at night, but my therapist assures me I\'ll get over it. *insolent grin* --now you seque straight into the next subject -- hey, have you been to blah-de-blah? I was thinking of going ... whatever. Shine it on. When you see the person you hit on who wasn\'t interested, even if you just saw them turn to the next person in the group and talk about you, don\'t be shy, say hello to them and be just as friendly as you ever were, be just the same. Act like it never happened. ... Sometimes you have to be like a duck. Paddling furiously underwater, on the surface there\'s nothing but glide.

[EXIT63]

... Sometimes you have to be like a duck. Paddling furiously underwater, on the surface there\'s nothing but glide.


That has to be one of the best that I\'ve ever heard.
Every day I appreciate you a little bit more.
It must be written in the stars.

[Andy]

I think the key to avoid beeing shot down is too rush in with the highest projected strenght and confidence level possible. This is hard to manage while beeing around people you know, because they know how you are. I always make ladies that rejected me in first place, think of what they have done afterwards. Just play your cards and have the last word. Things like \"I am so sorry for you, I would have liked to chat with you, you must be a really (sick, poor, weird, whatever) person\" *shrug your shoulders and walk away with raised head*.. Stuff like this is a hard bone to chew on and in most cases she will feel bad, when presented in the right voice. Act like you are in a deep state of compassion. You are the price, she\'s the one who\'s to blind to see it.
The sentence is only an example of cause. But it\'s the direction to go. I even had former targets apologizing a few days later and some even went up to be a *close in the end.

Just relax, you aren\'t up to break into fort nox .. you are just approaching the opposite sex ... to talk! in first instance .. open ended of cause.

[xvs]

Dissing women if they don\'t go for you is the mark of a wimp with no real self confidence.

Not everyone likes you. There\'s nothing you can do about that.

What you can do is to not care so much about being rejected by this one or that one.

Keep after it and you\'ll find ones you like who will also like you. If you talk to lots of women, you get more comfortable talking to women, and if someone isn\'t interested you know you can always talk to the next one and maybe she will be.

There are all sorts of reasons someone may not be interested. They may have a boyfriend. They may have just broken up and don\'t feel ready for anything right now. They may be gay. Or you may just not be their type. Sorry. You\'re not everyone\'s type. Deal with it and don\'t make a big deal out of it.

On the other hand, if you\'re nice and someone is just completely rude and nasty, some comeback is not inappropriate.

But it should be to teach them to be nicer, not to hurt them.

Striking out to hurt is again a mark of someone who feels threatened. Teaching is the mark of someone who is confident that they have something to teach.

Wimps feel threatened. How do you feel? Threatened? Think about it and change it.

[BassMan]

<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

you have to be like a duck. Paddling furiously underwater, on the surface there\'s nothing but glide.

<hr></blockquote> /ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif My nickname in Austin in the 70\'s was \"Duck\". And that\'s just how I got it.

[Andy]

No xvs, from my point of view, everybody who\'s rejecting someone the rude way has deserved to get the cold shower. I won\'t say something like this to a person that just doesn\'t want to talk with me... But we spoke of beeing \"shot down\" and that\'s a rude rejection.

Somebody that acts this way is nothing but sick.

Besides .. I don\'t !want! to be nice to people that aren\'t nice to me. I am not prostituting myself, I am not one of these slippery eels. I have stings and It\'s not my fault. Whenever a stupid dumbass bitch is trying to pick me from the wrong side, she will notice this right away (this is not only true for girls). I\'ve been too nice in the past, nicer than I am naturally, because I thought women like it. BS ... they will give a [censored] and kick you down the social ladder. She did something wrong .. show it .. she did something right .. give \'er a candy. That\'s it !

[marv14yag]

There was this one girl dude...I wrote her a poem and stuff....Like in the 7th grade...And she was talking about it, and everything else...Man, I really felt like sh*t then....

But guess what? lol

It worked in my favor.

Some girl was like, I heard you wrote Sherry a poem? I\'m like, yeah...She\'s like, wow, that\'s so sweet....

And than, I got KNOWN...

And, you know...It doesn\'t really MATTER, lol...

Just...I mean...Do what you want..lol

Bart

P.S. I\'m actually very sweet, romantic, deep down anyway, but, on the surface, I appear to be very...Alpha Male, dominant male, you know...Which, I\'m the kind of guy all the gilrs who HAVE boyfriends think about when they are WITH their boyfriend...
Other day...lol...That was cool...Very dominant..I wonder how I could use this....

[Buddydust]

\".. the key is .. !never! ask questions that might be answered with \"yes\" and \"no\" .. your conversation partner should start to tell you things you hadn\'t asked for quite soon.\"

Hmm,That does make sense.Of course for me it\'s easier said than done.Not to sell myself short..I just sometimes have trouble talking about the simple things in life.Not because I\'m scared,but I just don\'t have too much to talk about.But I will give it a try,Thanks Andy.

[Andy]

No Problem, that\'s why it works sooo good. You don\'t have to have much to talk about ... she will do the \"work\" for you. Talking about your \"target\" is the better way to hold a conversation anyway.