Dating customs - mating rituals around the world

[Nutt]

OK, so per my rescent disscussion of some of these dating tips site, I cant think of a single girl I \'Dated\' for me, and im 99% sure most of my friends we tend to meet people at a club or in an work/ school suituation, go out in a group enviroment, talk for a bit and end up pairing off.

is it just me, or does hardly anyone \'date\' in the UK compared with the US. intresting thought at least. I realise that going out alone with someone dose\'nt need to be specificaly called a date to be one, but these occasions seem less common in my experience.


Now, thats not to say that some of the advice isnt relevant, but it spured me into thinking what diffrences have people notised about the way people tend to get together ( especialy the more early , usualy busiest dating years when people are <30 ish ) in diffrent countrys .

[Andy]

I think people in the US are members of the dating-cult. Here in germany everything has a special purpose, going to the movies, drinking something, going to eat. I never experienced anything like what\'s called a date in the US, just like you Nutt. Most people in europe just end up pairing off, or just having sex, without going thru this dating stuff. Most people I know in the States say something like \"I\'ve been dating her for 2 months now\" (something like that). This is absolutely impossible here in europe. You are in a fixed relation, or in a plain friendship quite quick. In most cases it\'s the first time you meet someone that counts, maybe the second, in case there isn\'t enough time to start something. You will experience her decision quite quick, but there are some guys who are still after her after a \"no\". It\'s a strange behavior I am unable to explain correctly to someone from the states, you have to experience it yourself.

[Watcher]

I would say its a mixture here in oz of the two.

[Watcher]

Here in australia i think it is easier for people just to hook up without the pressure of \"dating\" as per say and people just fall into line and there is saftey in being with someone at all times, being single is really tough on some people not all some of us are quite emotionally dependant in being able to look after ourselves if we are single (being independant) without being dependant on another for holding us up. Sorry just random thoughts - actually another thing i have noticed is whist using pheoros several people on the outer of my social group have hooked up and have formed short-medium term relationships usually when the girl has made the move and ive not responded she is horny so finds another close male to hook up with. Now that ive bulked it is a little different its a shame that this male is single and not looking for several reasons. And has been said in another posts this is when moves tend to be higher in incidence and women want me more - something about being ignorant attention going elsewhere but if nothing happens then nothing happens and im not woffling on about lost opportunites etc as it is in the past and for all males dont dwell on the past go forward.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Dating is a drag. My worst date was when i showed up to a girls frontsteps with a bunch of expensive roses. Inflated prices because of valentines day. And offered to take her to a dinner and a movie. We got through dinner but never made it to the movies because she was giving me the cold shoulder. Did invite me over her house but her attitude towards me was just basically friendly. We never saw each other again. Hmm....Got to be a better way to find out if two people are compatible. You Europeans and australians might be on to something....

[rjm]

I was kind of thinking the same thing...

Maybe I should shoot for the Euro-style, rather than trying for a \"relationship\" first... (\"So babe, you like to do it Euro-style?\") It would certainly keep me out of LJBF-land; I\'d like to spend more time in LFBJ-land... /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

pickupguide\'s style is to
get action first, then see if a relationship works
so don\'t do all that dating crap
just play it cool and have fun..and then if you like each other beyond physicality, great

[rjm]

The hard part is, well, besides the obvious , that I always believed that was tantamount to using someone, and that\'s why it was wrong for me... There was always the guilt that she\'d be thinking there was something there that wasn\'t.

I\'ve wasted probably hundreds-of-thousands of dollars on crap, and there wasn\'t there what I thought was there. (Hideous sentence, but you get my point...)

This is just part of the deprogramming I\'m doing to myself -- we\'re going in open-eyed, so there is no \"using\" of each other.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

yea RJM man i feel for you...but i realized that some girls want some action too...you don\'t have to use them, just let them know of your intentions and if the feeling is mutual, then you\'re all good
there are so many things about being nice that you have to get over...that i got over like after such a long time
good luck man i\'m here to help

[druid]

Well I am extremly jealous of the aussie\'s and the euro\'s. I wish it was like that here in the states. And corry I hope that was not a first date (or a date before you were banging this girl) Bringing flowers?!?!?!? Big Mistake.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

heh....it was.....Dont worry it wont happen again.

[Andy]

It\'s like in usual business, don\'t pay before you are completely satisfied. I can remember only a single case I paid something above $5 (coke, burger... cheap stuff) for a girl before banging her ... well and in this case I knew it will happen before I took her out. This doesn\'t count for female mates of cause, in the end not every girl is a target.

[xvs]

I think it varies based on the age of the woman, in the US.

Younger ones (at least good ones) won\'t let you pay. They split it, or pay for you. Or you have to insist if you really want to treat them.

Older ones may expect you to pay and decide you are \'cheap\' if you won\'t.

I go by the non-verbal signals: if I meet someone and get their # I try to then get them to come meet me for a drink. Is it a \"date\"? Who knows. I\'d say yes, but some people think that the word \"date\" means something else.

Anyway, I will buy the girl a drink because I invited her, but often the younger ones won\'t let me. Then I judge them based on how their body reacts to me. Always try to sit at a bar, next to the girl, not at a table.

If you lean against her for a moment, does she flinch away? If you touch her, for a moment, does she seem to like it? If your leg rests on hers, does she move away or stay like that? If she flinches away at all, I figure that\'s it... end of game. No more trouble should be taken.

But if she seems to like her body next to yours you can proceed to get closer, then kiss, then... there ya go!

[FerroMone]

in asia it takes time. Takes a lot of words,persuation, etc. Poems whatever. Asian girls need lots of compliments and you should treat them like princessess. After doing that the girl will consider you as a possible mate. So perseverance and patience is an important virtue for males here.

[Andy]

I don\'t think this is always the case. I had a hit about 2 years ago (C18 this time) in a Shinkansen in Honshu heading for Osaka with a nice japanese girl. We became *really* close friends in the following 3 weeks and we are still writing letters. We bumped back in back while she boarded the Shinkansen and she said \"gomen nasai\" (sorry) I replied \"kamai-masen\" (hard to translate this in english, means something like \"It\'s ok\"). She turned around and started to bow, but suddenly stopped and seemed a little shocked, the last thing she expected was a gaijin (outlander). Hrhr, this was really funny. It was fortune that her place was right next to mine and we talked the whole ride (this can be quite short in a Shinkansen I wish we had trains like this in europe). Maybe it was easier, to get in contact with her, because she stayed 2 years in the states, I am not sure about this.

Umm .. sorry bruce for mistypings /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif I have no clue how to write it exactly in romaji, it\'s just written how I feel it should be written /ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif.