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belgareth
04-19-2010, 12:09 PM
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments

were
taken off actual police car videos around the

country:

1. "You know, stop lights

don't come any redder than the one you just went through."



2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch

after you wear them a while."

3. "If you

take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless

document."

4. "If you run, you'll only

go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run

faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speedof the bullet that'll be chasing

you."

6. "You don't know how fast you

were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,

huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the

shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm

the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You

want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another

ticket."

9. "The answer to this last

question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a

dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair?

Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey

poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two

more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."



12. "In God we trust; all others we run through

NCIC."

13. "Just how big were those

'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No

sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we

can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the

Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your

bail."

AND THE WINNER

IS....

16. "You didn't think we give

pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

idesign
04-19-2010, 08:58 PM
Good one Bel. And now one from

the other side of the rolled-down window:

Why did I run from you? Last year my wife ran off with a policeman,

and I thought you were bringing her back.