belgareth
12-31-2008, 11:05 AM
Not quite but
the following article does axplain a lot of things about us mortals and how things work.
http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain
Your Brain on
Sex
Sat, 2005-06-25 00:04 — Marnia
Let’s look at what goes on in the brain during sex and orgasm. Although you think everything happens
between your legs, the sensation of orgasm actually originates between your ears, in the form of chemical messengers
and the receptors they bind to. These neurochemical changes take place in the limbic system, or "mammalian brain."
The mammalian brain controls almost all bodily functions. It’s the seat of emotions, desires, drives and impulses.
It’s where you fall in and out of love…or lust.
The mammalian brain is largely the same in all mammals. It has been
around for well over 100,000,000 years, lurking right beneath your large, rational neo-cortex. Thanks to your limbic
system, you cannot will your feelings, emotions, falling in love, or staying in love, anymore than you can will your
heart to beat, or yourself to digest a meal or sleep.
Recently, scientists have begun to unravel the neurochemistry of
falling in love. And, if there is a neurochemical program to fall into love (or lust), there must be one to fall out
of love. For every biological event in your body, there is a biological cause. In this case, the cause is
neurochemicals and receptors.
Neurochemical Commands
The most important factor in falling in -
and out - of love is dopamine. Dopamine is the neurochemical that activates your reward circuitry. The reward
circuit is a small portion of the limbic system, but it drives nearly all of your behaviors. This center is
activated when you engage in activities that further your survival, or the continuation of your genes. Whether it’s
sex, eating, taking risks, achieving goals, or drinking water, all increase dopamine, and dopamine turns on your
reward circuit. You can think of dopamine as the "I’ve got to have it" neurochemical, whatever "it" is. It’s the
"craving" neurochemical.
The more dopamine you release and the more your reward circuit is activated, the more "reward" you experience.
A good example is food. We get a much bigger blast of dopamine eating high-calorie foods than we do low-calorie
foods. It’s why we choose chocolate cake over Brussels sprouts. Our reward circuit is programmed so that "calories
equal survival." You’re not actually craving ice cream, or a winning lotto ticket, or even a romp in the sack.
You’re craving the dopamine that is released with these activities. Dopamine is your major motivation, not the item
or activity.
Addiction
mechanisms are complex, yet the one aspect they share is dopamine. All addictive drugs and all addictions increase
dopamine; that is why they are addictive. Porn, accumulating money, gaining power over others, gambling, compulsive
shopping, video games…if something really boosts your dopamine, then it’s potentially addictive for you. Why did
Martha Stewart risk everything for more money? She got a thrill from a stock market gamble, and that gave her more
dopamine. She didn’t need the money.
Do not get the idea that dopamine is bad. Dopamine is absolutely
necessary for your survival. Yet when it’s too low or too high it can cause real problems. If you look at this chart
you can see some behaviors and conditions associated with dopamine levels that are too high or too low. The key word
on the list below is bonding. Bonding is more than a behavior. It is a mammalian program, the program that permits
parenting and living in groups. When dopamine drops, you are likely to find your partner less rewarding - your bond
unravels.
Researchers
placed electrodes in rats’ reward centers to stimulate them, just as dopamine does. The rats could then press a
lever to stimulate the reward center. That’s all those rats did; they ignored food, and even female rats. They just
sat there pressing the lever over and over, wasting away…not unlike crack addicts. In a second experiment,
scientists blocked dopamine so the reward center could not be stimulated. What happened? The rats just sat there,
again ignoring food, receptive mates, and the opportunity to explore their environment.
Orgasm is the biggest blast of dopamine (legally)
available to us. A Dutch scientist recently scanned the brains of people having orgasm. He said they resembled scans
of heroin rushes. He saw visions of an "orgasm pill" and lots of money. We saw visions of one of the most addictive
substance ever produced.
Orgasms and addictions have two things in common. They both produce an initial pleasurable experience, and
both are followed by an unpleasant hangover. The sexual satiation (orgasm) hangover is innate. It can be such a
subtle part of you that you do not connect the dots--unless you switch to making love without it for several weeks,
and then go back to sex with orgasm. "What goes up must come down." It’s simple biology; body systems must return to
balance, or homeostasis. What goes up and down in this case is your dopamine. That can play havoc with your mood and
the way in which you perceive, and treat, your partner.
With conventional sex and orgasms you’re going in and out of these
dopamine extremes. So are we saying that orgasm makes you schizophrenic and then depressed, as in the chart above?
No, but it definitely affects your behavior and mood. Not long after Gary (author of this article) got off of the
orgasm/dopamine roller coaster, his lifelong chronic depression disappeared. Considering the behaviors associated
with high and low dopamine may help explain how one’s lover can do the "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"
thing.
More to the
Story
The highs and lows of dopamine are only part of the "post-sexual
satiation hangover" story. At orgasm, dopamine drops like a lead balloon, and we lose interest, at least
temporarily. However, if dopamine’s not kept in check, it could rapidly shoot up again and we’d be back in the sack.
Biology’s mission is now to stop us from screwing around and place our attention elsewhere - like on hunting and
gathering, feeding the babies, going to our job, taking out the trash and so forth. Otherwise we’d end up like those
rats, working our levers over and over, and doing nothing else.
Suppressing dopamine is so important that nature uses an additional
neurochemical to curtail our sexual desire. It’s called prolactin. If dopamine is the "foot on the gas," then
prolactin is the "foot on the brake."
Research shows that prolactin surges immediately after orgasm in both
men and women. Men may experience this prolactin surge as the "roll over and snore" phenomenon. In women, the
effects may be delayed for days. We notice that the effects come and go for about two
weeks.
There’s an
inverse relationship between the levels of prolactin and dopamine; when one is up the other is down. This rise and
fall produces a dopamine/prolactin roller coaster of highs and lows, and this roller coaster is a major part of the
post-orgasm hangover.
What do couples complain of as their honeymoons end? The very symptoms associated with high prolactin: weight
gain, drop in libido, mood changes, depression. Notice that in women excess prolactin is also associated with
anxiety and hostility. Sound familiar? The following table lists symptoms of patients with chronically elevated
prolactin. We think that after sex, the surges may be more subtle, but still noticeable in their
effects.
Women
Men
Loss of libido
Loss of libido
Mood
changes / depression Mood changes / depression
Hostility, anxiety Impotence
Headache Headache
Menopausal symptoms,
even
when estrogen is sufficient Infertility
Signs of
increased testosterone levels Decreased testosterone levels
Although research hasn’t shown how long prolactin
surges continue in humans after sex, in female rats, twice daily surges of prolactin continue for up to two weeks.
This may help to explain how great sex last week could lead to relationship friction now. And it’s no wonder we
don’t make the link between cause and effect.
There’s also evidence that prolactin acts as a stress hormone. Unlike
the "fight or flight" stress hormones, prolactin seems to be associated with "giving up," or "despair-type" stress.
When a wild monkey is first caged, "fight or flight" stress hormones rise. As time goes by and despair sets in,
"fight or flight" hormones fall and prolactin rises. Could these surges of prolactin explain agitation, wanting
"space," or irritation with your partner that seems to come out of nowhere and then die down? Over time, could these
recurring feelings also lead to relationship disillusionment?
To summarize thus far, orgasm leads to a drop in dopamine and a rise
in prolactin. Both of these lead to multiple behavioral and emotional symptoms, which, in our experience, can arise
over the next two weeks. During this time, behavior may change for the worse. More importantly, lovers' perception
of each other can shift dramatically for the worse. If we feel depleted, our partner will seem overly demanding; if
we feel needy, our partner will seem selfish and uncaring. Bickering and emotional separation then lead to further
friction. Of course, few people ever avoid orgasm for two weeks. Most of us ride this roller coaster over and over,
never really experiencing balanced brain chemistry - or the easy harmony that accompanies
it.
Orgasm’s high
dopamine/low dopamine pattern actually encourages addictions of many kinds because people attempt to use artificial
means to manipulate their dopamine levels. Gary found that when he got off of the roller coaster, the results were
amazing: dropping a long-term addiction and eventually leaving behind prescription antidepressants, ending a
lifetime of depression.
Think about it. Most addictions kick in during teen years, when we become sexually active. A recent Columbia
University study found that sexually active teens use more drugs. One might think social factors alone lead to this
correlation between drugs and sex, but when scientists studied hamsters, they found that sexually-active hamsters
were much more susceptible to amphetamine addiction than their virgin counterparts. This research brings us to
another observation. Children, or pre-teens have yet to activate this dopamine roller coaster, and they possess a
cheerful, optimistic enthusiasm for the simplest activities. Perhaps this is due to balanced dopamine.
Testosterone, Dopamine
and the Coolidge Effect
There is further evidence for the
post-passion hangover. Sexually-satiated male rats take up to fifteen days to recover their full desire for sex,
although there is one way to jump-start them, which we’ll get to in a moment. Research shows they experience a
reduction in testosterone receptors for up to a week within their reward circuitry. Hormones and neurochemicals dock
with receptors on the nerve cells. In this case, fewer receptors mean less sensitivity to circulating testosterone.
The result is that the reward circuitry pumps out less dopamine. If this happens in females, it would also reduce
their sexual desire.
Low testosterone (or decreased sensitivity to it) is associated with irritability and anger. Serotonin and
endorphin levels also rise in the reward circuitry of sexually-satiated rats. Most of us have heard that these are
"happy neurochemicals," but in this particular part of the limbic brain both function to decrease dopamine and raise
prolactin, respectively. Remember, ideal levels of dopamine are necessary for healthy
bonds.
Humans, like
virtually all mammals, are not naturally monogamous. This may not sound very romantic, but no mammals are sexually
exclusive. (A few are socially monogamous. That is, they raise the pups together.) It is therefore likely that our
mating neurochemistry is set up to accomplish two goals. It encourages bonding so we co-parent. Yet there is also a
conflicting program to push us out of those bonds - at least far enough to add a novel
mate.
From chimps to
rats, the same neurochemical events drive mammalian behaviors, and they are driving them to be promiscuous. Is it
likely that Mr. and Mrs. Rodent are growing apart in their relationship? Could the excitement be gone from their
marriage? Perhaps Mrs. Chimp spends too much money, or nags too much. Maybe Mr. Chimp watches too much football or
doesn’t help much with housework. Not likely. Just like us, they have a subconscious program, triggered by mating,
hard-wired into their mammalian brains, which biology uses to urge them tire of their mates and move on to new
mates.
During the two
weeks that the hangover from orgasm lingers, our higher brain proposes logical reasons to explain our relationship
disharmony. Orgasm is natural…absolutely. But it may also be natural for both men and women to sour on a mate, to
suddenly find a spouse unattractive, irritating, and wholly unreasonable. It may even be natural to become wholly
unreasonable and thus hasten the departure of a mate.
Now we know that all of you are wondering about that sure-fire way to
jumpstart male rats' flagging libido. Perhaps you can already guess. All you have to do is introduce a new,
receptive female. That may not be the answer you were hoping for…or perhaps it was!
Have you heard of the "Coolidge Effect?" Because that’s
what we're addressing. Scientists have discovered that - after a frenzy of copulation - a male rat will lose
interest in a female. BUT should a new female show up, he’ll perk up long enough to service her.1 This process can
be continued until he practically dies of exhaustion - once again proving that biology doesn’t give a
rat’s…hindquarters about anything but propelling genes into the future. The Coolidge Effect has been observed in
every species tested, and not just in males. Lady rodents prefer to seduce new guys, too.
The Coolidge Effect just might play a role in human
affairs as well. Marnia once talked with a man who had stopped counting at 350 lovers. He said, "I really don’t
understand it. I lost interest in all of them sexually so quickly - and some of those women are really beautiful,
too."
The Coolidge
Effect is linked to your post-orgasm hangover. The reason the rat loses interest is that he’s not getting any more
dopamine surge from Partner No. 1. No dopamine, no interest. She is not perceived as "rewarding." The same thing
happens to humans. The thrill is gone, and Partner No. 1 looks like Brussels sprouts. Now you’re primed for anything
that will jack up your dopamine again. Partner No. 2 appears, and your dopamine soars. As if by magic, your blues
are gone, and you have that heady feeling of anticipation, that sense of uninhibited aliveness. In short, No. 2
looks like chocolate cake.
What if No. 2 doesn’t show, and you’re left in the doldrums? Unlike rats, you have many dopamine-raising
possibilities - from internet porn, gambling and alcohol - to the new dopamine agonists drug companies are producing
to light a fire under slumbering libidos (not recommended, due to risky side effects).
These "fixes" make you feel better briefly, but as
far as your well-being goes, they are like eating junk food - a net loss.
Your mammalian brain is not equipped to understand that
there can be too much of a good thing. It just keeps rewarding you to do the same unrewarding things. A "fix" just
positions you for a continuous addictive cycle of highs, more lows, and a search for more highs. Many of us spend
much of our sex lives caught in this cycle - with no obvious way out.
The Power of Equilibrium
We have talked about how roller coaster levels of dopamine can break couples apart, but there’s also something
holding couples together - at least at first. The neurochemical that binds couples together is oxytocin, the "cuddle
hormone" or "bonding hormone." Without it, we could not fall in love. Falling in love is associated with a soup of
neurochemicals - like adrenaline, which makes your heart race, and, as we have mentioned, dopamine, which makes you
crave your beloved. But the heartwarming, loving, "gushy" aspects of love are due to oxytocin. It is the
"unconditional love" hormone associated with nurturing and generous affection.
Oxytocin has various functions in the body, such as
inducing labor contractions and milk ejection, but from evolutionary biology’s perspective, its main evolutionary
function is to bond us to our children for life. It also serves to bond us to our mate…at least long enough to
produce a child and (if we're lucky) get it on its feet.
Friendships are also built on oxytocin, and can be quite deep bonds.
Yet, what happens to friendships that turn into sexual relationships? Often things change for the worse. This
change is an excellent example of the post-sexual satiation neurochemical shift or hangover kicking in.
Oxytocin and dopamine
are the yin and yang of bonding and love. You need both acting on the reward circuitry at ideal levels to stay in
love. In experiments, if scientists block either oxytocin or dopamine, mothers will ignore their pups. There's
evidence that these two neurochemicals stimulate each other's release, so if one is low, it affects levels of the
other. As sexual satiation plays havoc with dopamine, lovers can end up with a double-whammy effect on their
precious emotional bonds. Low dopamine alone interferes with feelings of love, and it may reduce oxytocin levels or
the brain's sensitivity to oxytocin. As things go sour, something interferes with oxytocin's bonding effects.
It's likely that it's low dopamine.
The good news is that making love while avoiding sexual satiation is
the loophole in biology’s plan for our love lives. This is the secret that the ancient sacred-sexuality sages
stumbled upon. Making love with lots of affection, without the dopamine-driven highs and lows of conventional sex,
seems to keep neurochemical levels balanced.
The more oxytocin you produce, the more receptive you are to it. This
is the opposite of dopamine. Addicts need more and more of a drug, which, of course, actually means they need more
and more dopamine. Luckily you don’t need an ever-increasing "fix" of oxytocin to maintain the same gushy feeling.
In fact, your partner just looks better and better - at least to you. This is why this practice can strengthen your
bond with your mate.
When researchers injected oxytocin into the brain of a promiscuous breed of rodent, it preferred familiar
partners to unfamiliar partners. Possibly the injection stimulates the production of dopamine or otherwise activates
the animal's reward circuitry.
Oxytocin is associated with significant benefits, both emotionally and physically. In fact, oxytocin may
be the answer to the question, "What is the mechanism by which love and affection positively affect our
health?"
Oxytocin
reduces cravings. When scientists administered it to rodents who were addicted to cocaine, morphine, or heroin, the
rats opted for less drugs, or showed fewer symptoms of withdrawal. (Kovacs, 1998)
Oxytocin calms. A single rat injected with oxytocin has a calming
effect on a cage full of anxious rats. (Agren, 2002)
This quality of
oxytocin explains why companionship can increase longevity - even among those who are HIV positive (Young, 2004). Or
speed recovery: wounded hamsters heal twice as fast when they are paired with a sibling, rather than left in
isolation (DeVries, 2004).
It may also explain why, among various
species of primates, care-giving parents (whether male or female) live significantly longer. (Cal Tech, 1998)
Oxytocin appears be a major reason that SSRI’s [Prozac-type drugs]
ease depression, perhaps because high levels of cortisol are the chief culprits in depression and anxiety disorders.
(Oxytocin counteracts cortisol's effects.) (Uvnas-Moberg, 1999)
Oxytocin increases sexual receptivity and counteracts impotence, which may be one reason why this other way of
making love remains pleasurable. (Pedersen, C.A., 2002), (Arletti, 1997)
Again, notice that oxytocin reduces cravings and increases sexual receptivity. This allows making love without
orgasm to be surprisingly satisfying. The affection is always there, flowing between you and your partner. When we
tiptoe around dopamine’s highs and lows, we encourage balance and clear perception of each other. We see each other
as sources of safety and pleasure, not as sources of stress. The real magic of love happens at a neurochemical level
- and we can choose balance in order to foil the extremes of Mother Nature's plan.
the following article does axplain a lot of things about us mortals and how things work.
http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain
Your Brain on
Sex
Sat, 2005-06-25 00:04 — Marnia
Let’s look at what goes on in the brain during sex and orgasm. Although you think everything happens
between your legs, the sensation of orgasm actually originates between your ears, in the form of chemical messengers
and the receptors they bind to. These neurochemical changes take place in the limbic system, or "mammalian brain."
The mammalian brain controls almost all bodily functions. It’s the seat of emotions, desires, drives and impulses.
It’s where you fall in and out of love…or lust.
The mammalian brain is largely the same in all mammals. It has been
around for well over 100,000,000 years, lurking right beneath your large, rational neo-cortex. Thanks to your limbic
system, you cannot will your feelings, emotions, falling in love, or staying in love, anymore than you can will your
heart to beat, or yourself to digest a meal or sleep.
Recently, scientists have begun to unravel the neurochemistry of
falling in love. And, if there is a neurochemical program to fall into love (or lust), there must be one to fall out
of love. For every biological event in your body, there is a biological cause. In this case, the cause is
neurochemicals and receptors.
Neurochemical Commands
The most important factor in falling in -
and out - of love is dopamine. Dopamine is the neurochemical that activates your reward circuitry. The reward
circuit is a small portion of the limbic system, but it drives nearly all of your behaviors. This center is
activated when you engage in activities that further your survival, or the continuation of your genes. Whether it’s
sex, eating, taking risks, achieving goals, or drinking water, all increase dopamine, and dopamine turns on your
reward circuit. You can think of dopamine as the "I’ve got to have it" neurochemical, whatever "it" is. It’s the
"craving" neurochemical.
The more dopamine you release and the more your reward circuit is activated, the more "reward" you experience.
A good example is food. We get a much bigger blast of dopamine eating high-calorie foods than we do low-calorie
foods. It’s why we choose chocolate cake over Brussels sprouts. Our reward circuit is programmed so that "calories
equal survival." You’re not actually craving ice cream, or a winning lotto ticket, or even a romp in the sack.
You’re craving the dopamine that is released with these activities. Dopamine is your major motivation, not the item
or activity.
Addiction
mechanisms are complex, yet the one aspect they share is dopamine. All addictive drugs and all addictions increase
dopamine; that is why they are addictive. Porn, accumulating money, gaining power over others, gambling, compulsive
shopping, video games…if something really boosts your dopamine, then it’s potentially addictive for you. Why did
Martha Stewart risk everything for more money? She got a thrill from a stock market gamble, and that gave her more
dopamine. She didn’t need the money.
Do not get the idea that dopamine is bad. Dopamine is absolutely
necessary for your survival. Yet when it’s too low or too high it can cause real problems. If you look at this chart
you can see some behaviors and conditions associated with dopamine levels that are too high or too low. The key word
on the list below is bonding. Bonding is more than a behavior. It is a mammalian program, the program that permits
parenting and living in groups. When dopamine drops, you are likely to find your partner less rewarding - your bond
unravels.
Researchers
placed electrodes in rats’ reward centers to stimulate them, just as dopamine does. The rats could then press a
lever to stimulate the reward center. That’s all those rats did; they ignored food, and even female rats. They just
sat there pressing the lever over and over, wasting away…not unlike crack addicts. In a second experiment,
scientists blocked dopamine so the reward center could not be stimulated. What happened? The rats just sat there,
again ignoring food, receptive mates, and the opportunity to explore their environment.
Orgasm is the biggest blast of dopamine (legally)
available to us. A Dutch scientist recently scanned the brains of people having orgasm. He said they resembled scans
of heroin rushes. He saw visions of an "orgasm pill" and lots of money. We saw visions of one of the most addictive
substance ever produced.
Orgasms and addictions have two things in common. They both produce an initial pleasurable experience, and
both are followed by an unpleasant hangover. The sexual satiation (orgasm) hangover is innate. It can be such a
subtle part of you that you do not connect the dots--unless you switch to making love without it for several weeks,
and then go back to sex with orgasm. "What goes up must come down." It’s simple biology; body systems must return to
balance, or homeostasis. What goes up and down in this case is your dopamine. That can play havoc with your mood and
the way in which you perceive, and treat, your partner.
With conventional sex and orgasms you’re going in and out of these
dopamine extremes. So are we saying that orgasm makes you schizophrenic and then depressed, as in the chart above?
No, but it definitely affects your behavior and mood. Not long after Gary (author of this article) got off of the
orgasm/dopamine roller coaster, his lifelong chronic depression disappeared. Considering the behaviors associated
with high and low dopamine may help explain how one’s lover can do the "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"
thing.
More to the
Story
The highs and lows of dopamine are only part of the "post-sexual
satiation hangover" story. At orgasm, dopamine drops like a lead balloon, and we lose interest, at least
temporarily. However, if dopamine’s not kept in check, it could rapidly shoot up again and we’d be back in the sack.
Biology’s mission is now to stop us from screwing around and place our attention elsewhere - like on hunting and
gathering, feeding the babies, going to our job, taking out the trash and so forth. Otherwise we’d end up like those
rats, working our levers over and over, and doing nothing else.
Suppressing dopamine is so important that nature uses an additional
neurochemical to curtail our sexual desire. It’s called prolactin. If dopamine is the "foot on the gas," then
prolactin is the "foot on the brake."
Research shows that prolactin surges immediately after orgasm in both
men and women. Men may experience this prolactin surge as the "roll over and snore" phenomenon. In women, the
effects may be delayed for days. We notice that the effects come and go for about two
weeks.
There’s an
inverse relationship between the levels of prolactin and dopamine; when one is up the other is down. This rise and
fall produces a dopamine/prolactin roller coaster of highs and lows, and this roller coaster is a major part of the
post-orgasm hangover.
What do couples complain of as their honeymoons end? The very symptoms associated with high prolactin: weight
gain, drop in libido, mood changes, depression. Notice that in women excess prolactin is also associated with
anxiety and hostility. Sound familiar? The following table lists symptoms of patients with chronically elevated
prolactin. We think that after sex, the surges may be more subtle, but still noticeable in their
effects.
Women
Men
Loss of libido
Loss of libido
Mood
changes / depression Mood changes / depression
Hostility, anxiety Impotence
Headache Headache
Menopausal symptoms,
even
when estrogen is sufficient Infertility
Signs of
increased testosterone levels Decreased testosterone levels
Although research hasn’t shown how long prolactin
surges continue in humans after sex, in female rats, twice daily surges of prolactin continue for up to two weeks.
This may help to explain how great sex last week could lead to relationship friction now. And it’s no wonder we
don’t make the link between cause and effect.
There’s also evidence that prolactin acts as a stress hormone. Unlike
the "fight or flight" stress hormones, prolactin seems to be associated with "giving up," or "despair-type" stress.
When a wild monkey is first caged, "fight or flight" stress hormones rise. As time goes by and despair sets in,
"fight or flight" hormones fall and prolactin rises. Could these surges of prolactin explain agitation, wanting
"space," or irritation with your partner that seems to come out of nowhere and then die down? Over time, could these
recurring feelings also lead to relationship disillusionment?
To summarize thus far, orgasm leads to a drop in dopamine and a rise
in prolactin. Both of these lead to multiple behavioral and emotional symptoms, which, in our experience, can arise
over the next two weeks. During this time, behavior may change for the worse. More importantly, lovers' perception
of each other can shift dramatically for the worse. If we feel depleted, our partner will seem overly demanding; if
we feel needy, our partner will seem selfish and uncaring. Bickering and emotional separation then lead to further
friction. Of course, few people ever avoid orgasm for two weeks. Most of us ride this roller coaster over and over,
never really experiencing balanced brain chemistry - or the easy harmony that accompanies
it.
Orgasm’s high
dopamine/low dopamine pattern actually encourages addictions of many kinds because people attempt to use artificial
means to manipulate their dopamine levels. Gary found that when he got off of the roller coaster, the results were
amazing: dropping a long-term addiction and eventually leaving behind prescription antidepressants, ending a
lifetime of depression.
Think about it. Most addictions kick in during teen years, when we become sexually active. A recent Columbia
University study found that sexually active teens use more drugs. One might think social factors alone lead to this
correlation between drugs and sex, but when scientists studied hamsters, they found that sexually-active hamsters
were much more susceptible to amphetamine addiction than their virgin counterparts. This research brings us to
another observation. Children, or pre-teens have yet to activate this dopamine roller coaster, and they possess a
cheerful, optimistic enthusiasm for the simplest activities. Perhaps this is due to balanced dopamine.
Testosterone, Dopamine
and the Coolidge Effect
There is further evidence for the
post-passion hangover. Sexually-satiated male rats take up to fifteen days to recover their full desire for sex,
although there is one way to jump-start them, which we’ll get to in a moment. Research shows they experience a
reduction in testosterone receptors for up to a week within their reward circuitry. Hormones and neurochemicals dock
with receptors on the nerve cells. In this case, fewer receptors mean less sensitivity to circulating testosterone.
The result is that the reward circuitry pumps out less dopamine. If this happens in females, it would also reduce
their sexual desire.
Low testosterone (or decreased sensitivity to it) is associated with irritability and anger. Serotonin and
endorphin levels also rise in the reward circuitry of sexually-satiated rats. Most of us have heard that these are
"happy neurochemicals," but in this particular part of the limbic brain both function to decrease dopamine and raise
prolactin, respectively. Remember, ideal levels of dopamine are necessary for healthy
bonds.
Humans, like
virtually all mammals, are not naturally monogamous. This may not sound very romantic, but no mammals are sexually
exclusive. (A few are socially monogamous. That is, they raise the pups together.) It is therefore likely that our
mating neurochemistry is set up to accomplish two goals. It encourages bonding so we co-parent. Yet there is also a
conflicting program to push us out of those bonds - at least far enough to add a novel
mate.
From chimps to
rats, the same neurochemical events drive mammalian behaviors, and they are driving them to be promiscuous. Is it
likely that Mr. and Mrs. Rodent are growing apart in their relationship? Could the excitement be gone from their
marriage? Perhaps Mrs. Chimp spends too much money, or nags too much. Maybe Mr. Chimp watches too much football or
doesn’t help much with housework. Not likely. Just like us, they have a subconscious program, triggered by mating,
hard-wired into their mammalian brains, which biology uses to urge them tire of their mates and move on to new
mates.
During the two
weeks that the hangover from orgasm lingers, our higher brain proposes logical reasons to explain our relationship
disharmony. Orgasm is natural…absolutely. But it may also be natural for both men and women to sour on a mate, to
suddenly find a spouse unattractive, irritating, and wholly unreasonable. It may even be natural to become wholly
unreasonable and thus hasten the departure of a mate.
Now we know that all of you are wondering about that sure-fire way to
jumpstart male rats' flagging libido. Perhaps you can already guess. All you have to do is introduce a new,
receptive female. That may not be the answer you were hoping for…or perhaps it was!
Have you heard of the "Coolidge Effect?" Because that’s
what we're addressing. Scientists have discovered that - after a frenzy of copulation - a male rat will lose
interest in a female. BUT should a new female show up, he’ll perk up long enough to service her.1 This process can
be continued until he practically dies of exhaustion - once again proving that biology doesn’t give a
rat’s…hindquarters about anything but propelling genes into the future. The Coolidge Effect has been observed in
every species tested, and not just in males. Lady rodents prefer to seduce new guys, too.
The Coolidge Effect just might play a role in human
affairs as well. Marnia once talked with a man who had stopped counting at 350 lovers. He said, "I really don’t
understand it. I lost interest in all of them sexually so quickly - and some of those women are really beautiful,
too."
The Coolidge
Effect is linked to your post-orgasm hangover. The reason the rat loses interest is that he’s not getting any more
dopamine surge from Partner No. 1. No dopamine, no interest. She is not perceived as "rewarding." The same thing
happens to humans. The thrill is gone, and Partner No. 1 looks like Brussels sprouts. Now you’re primed for anything
that will jack up your dopamine again. Partner No. 2 appears, and your dopamine soars. As if by magic, your blues
are gone, and you have that heady feeling of anticipation, that sense of uninhibited aliveness. In short, No. 2
looks like chocolate cake.
What if No. 2 doesn’t show, and you’re left in the doldrums? Unlike rats, you have many dopamine-raising
possibilities - from internet porn, gambling and alcohol - to the new dopamine agonists drug companies are producing
to light a fire under slumbering libidos (not recommended, due to risky side effects).
These "fixes" make you feel better briefly, but as
far as your well-being goes, they are like eating junk food - a net loss.
Your mammalian brain is not equipped to understand that
there can be too much of a good thing. It just keeps rewarding you to do the same unrewarding things. A "fix" just
positions you for a continuous addictive cycle of highs, more lows, and a search for more highs. Many of us spend
much of our sex lives caught in this cycle - with no obvious way out.
The Power of Equilibrium
We have talked about how roller coaster levels of dopamine can break couples apart, but there’s also something
holding couples together - at least at first. The neurochemical that binds couples together is oxytocin, the "cuddle
hormone" or "bonding hormone." Without it, we could not fall in love. Falling in love is associated with a soup of
neurochemicals - like adrenaline, which makes your heart race, and, as we have mentioned, dopamine, which makes you
crave your beloved. But the heartwarming, loving, "gushy" aspects of love are due to oxytocin. It is the
"unconditional love" hormone associated with nurturing and generous affection.
Oxytocin has various functions in the body, such as
inducing labor contractions and milk ejection, but from evolutionary biology’s perspective, its main evolutionary
function is to bond us to our children for life. It also serves to bond us to our mate…at least long enough to
produce a child and (if we're lucky) get it on its feet.
Friendships are also built on oxytocin, and can be quite deep bonds.
Yet, what happens to friendships that turn into sexual relationships? Often things change for the worse. This
change is an excellent example of the post-sexual satiation neurochemical shift or hangover kicking in.
Oxytocin and dopamine
are the yin and yang of bonding and love. You need both acting on the reward circuitry at ideal levels to stay in
love. In experiments, if scientists block either oxytocin or dopamine, mothers will ignore their pups. There's
evidence that these two neurochemicals stimulate each other's release, so if one is low, it affects levels of the
other. As sexual satiation plays havoc with dopamine, lovers can end up with a double-whammy effect on their
precious emotional bonds. Low dopamine alone interferes with feelings of love, and it may reduce oxytocin levels or
the brain's sensitivity to oxytocin. As things go sour, something interferes with oxytocin's bonding effects.
It's likely that it's low dopamine.
The good news is that making love while avoiding sexual satiation is
the loophole in biology’s plan for our love lives. This is the secret that the ancient sacred-sexuality sages
stumbled upon. Making love with lots of affection, without the dopamine-driven highs and lows of conventional sex,
seems to keep neurochemical levels balanced.
The more oxytocin you produce, the more receptive you are to it. This
is the opposite of dopamine. Addicts need more and more of a drug, which, of course, actually means they need more
and more dopamine. Luckily you don’t need an ever-increasing "fix" of oxytocin to maintain the same gushy feeling.
In fact, your partner just looks better and better - at least to you. This is why this practice can strengthen your
bond with your mate.
When researchers injected oxytocin into the brain of a promiscuous breed of rodent, it preferred familiar
partners to unfamiliar partners. Possibly the injection stimulates the production of dopamine or otherwise activates
the animal's reward circuitry.
Oxytocin is associated with significant benefits, both emotionally and physically. In fact, oxytocin may
be the answer to the question, "What is the mechanism by which love and affection positively affect our
health?"
Oxytocin
reduces cravings. When scientists administered it to rodents who were addicted to cocaine, morphine, or heroin, the
rats opted for less drugs, or showed fewer symptoms of withdrawal. (Kovacs, 1998)
Oxytocin calms. A single rat injected with oxytocin has a calming
effect on a cage full of anxious rats. (Agren, 2002)
This quality of
oxytocin explains why companionship can increase longevity - even among those who are HIV positive (Young, 2004). Or
speed recovery: wounded hamsters heal twice as fast when they are paired with a sibling, rather than left in
isolation (DeVries, 2004).
It may also explain why, among various
species of primates, care-giving parents (whether male or female) live significantly longer. (Cal Tech, 1998)
Oxytocin appears be a major reason that SSRI’s [Prozac-type drugs]
ease depression, perhaps because high levels of cortisol are the chief culprits in depression and anxiety disorders.
(Oxytocin counteracts cortisol's effects.) (Uvnas-Moberg, 1999)
Oxytocin increases sexual receptivity and counteracts impotence, which may be one reason why this other way of
making love remains pleasurable. (Pedersen, C.A., 2002), (Arletti, 1997)
Again, notice that oxytocin reduces cravings and increases sexual receptivity. This allows making love without
orgasm to be surprisingly satisfying. The affection is always there, flowing between you and your partner. When we
tiptoe around dopamine’s highs and lows, we encourage balance and clear perception of each other. We see each other
as sources of safety and pleasure, not as sources of stress. The real magic of love happens at a neurochemical level
- and we can choose balance in order to foil the extremes of Mother Nature's plan.