MOBLEYC57
05-28-2008, 04:44 PM
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that
she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &
STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
A successful
man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand
him a lot and love him a little.
To be
happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a
woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED :cheers:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped after I started doing the same
thing to them at funerals. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl::wave: :run:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that
she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &
STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
A successful
man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand
him a lot and love him a little.
To be
happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a
woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED :cheers:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped after I started doing the same
thing to them at funerals. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl::wave: :run: