i can't figure this one out!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

hey guys (gals?),

so i was successful that night w/ pheros with this girl...had a great time...and she had a nice body :-)

yeah so i called her up, she was receptive, and then later that night she called me back to chat more, she seemed interested...but then the next day a complete 180 - u turn...she started saying shit like \"i was out of character that night, i don\'t want to give off a slut impression...and i\'m not ready for a relationship\"...damn that girl is conceited...she needs to chill out, all i asked her to was to get a bite to eat and chat...i told her to just chill and stop jumping to conclusions

any idea on what went wrong? maybe she regrets what she did last night?

[Bruce]

It is hard to say for sure, but many many times in a situation like that I have been asked for reassurance from the woman involved. If you like her, I would remain calm and try to provide that support she is looking for. That would \"take it to the next level.\" In any case, I don\'t think she is being \"conceited\" at all. I just think she likes you and is getting a bit nervous that maybe she likes you \"too much.\" Hey, she phoned you back after already chatting for a while.
I remember clearly one of the many times I was in your shoes (long ago). I told the woman: \"You know, guys don\'t really take sex as seriously as women, so don\'t sweat it.\" I told a very wise friend of mine that I had said that and his reaction was: \"Don\'t EVER tell a woman that again.\" So, maybe I flunked the test that time myself. Hang in there.
MHO,
Bruce

[**DONOTDELETE**]

yeah it seems the night i phoned her and she back, she was great...but i don\'t know what just changed in 24 hours. It beats the hell out of me. This is a college freshman girl...i really don\'t know!

[proteus]

I figure what she told you pretty much speaks for itself. She probably doesn\'t want you to think she\'s an \"easy\" girl, trying to get back some \"respect\" from her perspective.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

\'Round these parts we refer to it as the 24-hour rule. It\'s not unusual for me to take a woman somewhere that seems completely reasonable at the time. Looking back after a little time has passed, sometimes her reaction is \"OhMyGod, What have I done?\" There is a similar 72-hour rule. images/icons/crazy.gif

[jose]

I think she\'s scared that you will dump her because you slip with her so soon, This probably happened to her before. If you really like her just keep hanging out with her.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

yeah i agree with you guys but then why did she have to say \"i\'m not ready for a relationship and stuff\"

i don\'t know where that came from

all i asked her was to just hang out and getting something to eat
but i did understand when she said \"i don\'t want to give off that i\'m a slut\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

LoL hey maybe it was the coyoteugly reaction.

[Whitehall]

Let her talk - you can just nod your head and make pleasant clucking sounds.

Read some of the \"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus\" books. They\'ll tell you that women mostly want to vent and that their complaints are not necessarily connected to their actions.

In this case, listen to what she is saying and don\'t verbally contradict her - When she says \"I\'m not ready for a relationship.\" Don\'t say \"I must have a relationship now.\" Just ask her out for a casual get-together and show her a good time. Sounds to me like she\'s very interested in you - just take it easy with no pressure and I\'d bet you\'ll have no trouble.

\"Actions speak louder than words.\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

j0b00,
i think you gave good advice
but we didn\'t hit the sack that night, i just felt her up and stuff and danced for a while and some makin\' out

and i\'m not smothering her at all, i\'m pretty casual and laid back
but i def. will take your advice and give her some more time
i\'ll call her up after like 3-4 days otherwise then just forget about it...i\'ll see if she calls me

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Ok, first off I think what she means by \"I don\'t really want a relationship right now\" is that she went out with you and didn\'t have any idea she would end up in the sack with you (I\'m assuming thats what happened) and she just pain doesn\'t want to get very involved with someone right now. However, she really wanted sex that night (maybe because of the pheromones) and you were available. You called her way too early after the date and the simple fact that yall have gone from just plain knowing one another to having sex and then you wanting more dates is freaking her out. She doesn\'t want things to go too fast. She is afraid that you are only interested in her for what you got that night. I\'d say stop calling her for a few days...maybe 3-5. Then, give her a call and see how she\'s doing. Whatever you do, don\'t call he every day. If she wants to talk to you and you haven\'t called, she\'ll make it a point to call you up. Its obvious you like her and it seems she cares about you and wants to slow things down. Maybe its because she wants to keep thing between yall on good terms so that when she really is ready for a relationship, she\'ll have someone who she knows will care about ehr too. Maybe she didn\'t want you to get your hopes up about a possible LTR too soon. Take it slow. Don\'t ask her out again for maybe another 2 weeks. don\'t slip into the friend zone though...be a freind but be affectionate. Make sure she knows that even though yall are friends, you are ready for more than friendship when she is. I\'ve found from my experience that nothing can help a realtionship more than space. Don\'t smother her. Chances are, the reaon she isn\'t ready for a relationship is that she\'s happy having freedom.

To summaraze, chill out, give it some time, take it slow, communicate, and give her some space and i think you\'ll be fine.

Thats my 2 cents

-Andy