New to Pheromones

[redhed]

I found this site as

I was looking for something else to fulfill my my fragrance addiction (I love fragrance) and thought "why

not!".

I ordered PI/w & PCC as I am looking to kick start my relationship with my live-in partner; we have been

together a few years and from his side...the libido is definitely down.

I am attractive and in excellent

shape/health (very athletic) and pretty great in other ways too (lol) but stress from various things in our lives

over past couple years (I went back to school, he went through some tough stuff at work, my mum got diagnosed with

terminal cancer & yes we of course went through our own emotional/relationship stuff together....) have not helped

keep things "passionate". Real life can really get in the way sometimes!

I am definitely someone whom tries &

likes to experiment and keep things new & have been patient as well and communicated about the issue...but well I am

finding I need some help.

Before someone says it...I DO know he is not cheating, I do know he is 100% faithful &

I definitely do know he loves me (as I do him).

I am hoping pheromones might help to both kick start the sex life

again and accentuate the emotional intimacy (we are close, but I guess it can't hurt right?), though I keep seeing

that on someone you know they take longer to work? Is that so? Can anyone tell me HOW much longer?


And I know

you can wear them with perfume, but are some perfumes not good to wear with them? I tend to prefer more "unique"

ones like Bulgari Black, and not sure if it would be too "strong" or weird and block the pheromones?

Thanks for

any help!

[tounge]

Well Redhed, all you can do is try.

There are no exact answers to each person's unique situation.

Certain pheromones go better with certain

fragrances and vice-versa.

I might suggest switching up colognes and trying to have some variety in that

respect. I have had girlfriends do that to me over the years and if I liked the fragrance it was lightning in a

bottle so to speak.
However those were only temporary stop gap measures and the inevitable staleness came back and

it was time for us to move on.

Best of luck in trying to find the right combination of pheros and maybe you

could try the Scent of Eros for Women scented product. A couple of my gal friends have had some success with that

product.

[redhed]

Well

Redhed, all you can do is try. There are no exact answers to each person's unique situation.

Certain pheromones

go better with certain fragrances and vice-versa.

I might suggest switching up colognes and trying to have some

variety in that respect. I have had girlfriends do that to me over the years and if I liked the fragrance it was

lightning in a bottle so to speak.
However those were only temporary stop gap measures and the inevitable

staleness came back and it was time for us to move on.

Best of luck in trying to find the right combination of

pheros and maybe you could try the Scent of Eros for Women scented product. A couple of my gal friends have had some

success with that product.

Haha, don't worry, I switch them up...I have about 30 different fragrances

(and samples of course) and switch them up all the time!

I should say, I don't feel we are "stale" by any means,

even if the sex life is not as hot as I would prefer. We do have a great, fun relationship and a deep friendship

(which I sometimes think is part of the problem in terms of intimacy...I know he has a hard time being vulnerable

and tends to back off if he feels "too close" at times).

I am a big believer that any long term commitment goes

in cycles, and that each partner needs to put the effort and work in to keep things alive and going (and falling in

love over and over again) and if something goes stale it is no ones fault but your own. We don't depend on one

another for our happiness and are both pretty exciting and interesting individuals, so it is hard to get "stale" in

that respect.

Everything else is there in other words...but his libido (and it's not just me...he does not

indulge much in porn or anything either). He is approaching 32 by the way, and I think he has been going through

some life re-evaluation last year or so and he kinda grew up with a bad model for a relationship.....their way of

dealing with things was to shut down and drift apart. You could cut through the tension in his parents house with a

butter knife at times....so while we communicate, he tends to kinda repeat patterns of "shutting down" and burying

things in which makes it a bit tougher at times.

I am not trying to make excuses for him or anything....sorry if

it sounds that way. I also know I have my own part in our relationship of course and bring my own quirks and flaws

into it of course that contribute to the dynamic.

[redhed]

Oh and thanks for your quick

reply!

[tounge]

Sounds like medical check-up for

him or counseling for you both would serve you better than pheromones.

This maybe you only choice if the pheros

don't give you the desired results.

[redhed]

Sounds like

medical check-up for him or counseling for you both would serve you better than pheromones.

This maybe you only

choice if the pheros don't give you the desired results.

Yes, I have attended counseling on and off for

myself over the years (for other things, not relationship) and it was something we talked about doing a few months

ago.....he is very, very uncomfortable talking with strangers however and is pretty resistant to that idea (I on the

other hand moderate on a relationship help forum and love reading and talking about that kind of stuff!).

I know

he is not OPPOSED to going entirely and would go as it is important to me, but I don't want him to go with an idea

that he was "forced" to go.

Getting him to go to doctor would be next to impossible....he hasn't even been for a

checkup in years (not something I am pleased about but again not something I am going to force him to do...he is

very healthy so I am not too worried but I still don't like it!). I do however agree with you...I actually do think

there is something going on there and last year (when he was going through his work issues for several months) I

also suspected mild depression.

Ah well...I am going to hope the phero's work and if they don't........go from

there. Thanks again.

[belgareth]

Not a lot I can add here other

than to warn that pheromones don't seem to work as well on somebody that already knows us well. I think it takes

time to get through the preconceptions that they already have about us. The subconcious nudges and the concious kind

of drags its feet about the whole thing. One thing that works well with my wife and I is to take these long

weekends. Find a B&B somewhere fun and leave our cellphones in the trunk for a couple days. One of our favorites is

along the Cane River in Lousianna, they have a hot tub in the room and a private deck overlooking the river.

It

does sound like you are doing the right things but I have to ask if your partner is aware of your feelings?



Oh...and Welcome to the forum.

[redhed]

Not a

lot I can add here other than to warn that pheromones don't seem to work as well on somebody that already knows us

well. I think it takes time to get through the preconceptions that they already have about us. The subconcious

nudges and the concious kind of drags its feet about the whole thing. One thing that works well with my wife and I

is to take these long weekends. Find a B&B somewhere fun and leave our cellphones in the trunk for a couple days.

One of our favorites is along the Cane River in Lousianna, they have a hot tub in the room and a private deck

overlooking the river.

It does sound like you are doing the right things but I have to ask if your partner is

aware of your feelings?

Oh...and Welcome to the forum.

Thanks for the welcome!

Damn those

preconceived notions ;)

Yes, we do try and get away on occasion. We are heading up to the lake for the weekend

coming (it's winter here and COLD so we will be going snowmobiling, skiing and staying warm!) as a get away....it

is very hard for us to do that much though with his work schedule (this time of year there are lots of short

business trips) and my school schedule (heavy program) but we try.

We are a little far from Louisianna for a day

trip...but that sounds like a wonderful place!


I guess you mean is he aware of the frustration on my end? Well,

yes and no. We have always had differing libidos.....even early on when the sex was a lot more frequent and exciting

and new, his was a bit lower. His just got lower and mind stayed high. I know I talked to him when it first started

going down (the sex frequency I mean) to find out what was going on.....at time he just felt tired and was not

sure...and then I have brought it up a couple times in last few months...but I do kinda skirt around it as I know it

is something he is pretty sensitive about and it does not go far when he himself says "he doesn't even know why he

doesn't feel up for it"!

[belgareth]

You really should get him to

get a medical check up to eliminate any physical causes. He may not like it but he is too young to be losing

interest in sex, in my opinion. Both high blood pressure and stress, among other things, can lead to loss of desire.

Stress can also lead to depression, which could lead to loss of desire. His responses sound a lot like depression. I

am a layman so don't take that as anything more than an unqualified opinion.

[redhed]

You

really should get him to get a medical check up to eliminate any physical causes. He may not like it but he is too

young to be losing interest in sex, in my opinion. Both high blood pressure and stress, among other things, can lead

to loss of desire. Stress can also lead to depression, which could lead to loss of desire. His responses sound a lot

like depression. I am a layman so don't take that as anything more than an unqualified opinion.

Hey,

well I do know it is not high blood pressure (as I said we are both very healthy people....and I know he has checked

his BP while say at his parents (his mother is a home care nurse)) and his is actually lower than the average (but

healthy range). I do definitely think stress and depression are very likely.

Anyway, he is away for a couple days

for work.....but I will definitely talk to him about going to doctor when he comes back (I am going for my own

physical and mammogram this week so I am sure I can segway it in there somehow too!).

Thanks again.

[redhed]

Alright, so I got my PI/w and

PCC, as well as packet of Perception & a bottle of Climatron (could not find any information on it on here).

I

tried the PI/w & PCC over weekend with my honey around.....just two drops of the PI/w and a roll of the PCC and it

is hard to tell but I did feel he was a bit more chatty with men than usual, and did some really sweet things for me

over weekend (not that he isn't sweet, but just some extra things I observed he normally would not have done

perhaps!). Of course, I know it can take longer with someone you have been with to see a change, but maybe it makes

a difference in that he often travels a lot so we are not around one another AS much....

I did wear some PI/w &

PCC today (with my Agent Provocateur as a cover) as well just to see the hits that occurred with others (to get an

idea) and I definitely got a couple hits standing in line for coffee this morning at the coffee shop, even though I

was all bundled up in all my winter gear (like everyone else around here!)...a guy in front of me kept looking at me

(even turning around to do so) and a guy walking by with his girlfriend looked right at me/right in the eyes in an

unusual way that while subtle was definitely more than just the usual "glance".

In class we also had a mock

assignment where we had to negotiate with other groups and I noticed not only was I more confident in negotiating

than usual, but others (I was working with almost all men) were far more cooperative with me on issues...I

definitely FELT more assertive in the situation anyway.

Really the only one I am interested in garnering more

interest from is my partner, but it is interesting to observe effects on others (and know it might eventually show

more of a change with him too!).

Anyway, all very interesting! I think I will try the mystery Climatron sometime

this week and see what effect (if any) there is.

[tounge]

All I know is, if you were standing

in line next to me wearing Agent Provocateur, you would have my full attention.:box:

[redhed]

lol, thanks.

It's either a

love it or hate it fragrance in my experience....but I love it :)

I am still testing the effects on my

partner....there seems to be some notable changes, but maybe it is just the placebo affect of me reading into

it...haha. Until he jumps on me and tears my clothes off, it's all just "maybe so's and maybe no's" for the

effectiveness of "hits" from him so far!

[tounge]

lol, thanks.



It's either a love it or hate it fragrance in my experience....but I love it :)





Well I

love it too! And that's all that's really necessary.;) :cool: