Taser

[belgareth]

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my

interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket / purse sized taser. The effects of the taser were
supposed to be

short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL...

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded 2 AAA batteries in the

darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing. I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND

pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth

between the prongs.??

AWESOME!!!?

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the

face of her microwave!

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all

that bad with only 2 AAA batteries, right?




There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the

directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit

I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought
better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance

that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading

glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions

said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause

muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on

the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the

while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in diameter; pretty cute really

and (loaded with 2 itsy, bitsy, AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"??

What happened next is

almost beyond description, but I'll do my

best...

[S

IZE=5]I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to

say, "don't do it dumbass," reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all

that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
naked thigh,

pushed the button and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in

through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over

again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both

nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and

tingling in my legs!

The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my

face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, stupid, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to

"mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap

yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the

floor. A three-second burst would
be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A GUN... That hurt like hell !!!

A

minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a not relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what

little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had

been shot up with
Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a

significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

[/SIZE]



If you think Education is difficult, try being

stupid...

[Bruce]

Is that for real? Haven't really

heard details like that before.

[belgareth]

I have no idea if it is real.

But it was funny.

[woofa1]

The taser gun, is been talked

about down here in Australia,for a while. It is a very dangerous weapon that if used incorrectly and or on people

with heart problems can have very menancing effects. Like Death, and infact a taser was used on someone in a

airport, contributed to someone
death. Police want to make it compulsory to have one down here. Im sure if you

google it on the net there is much info on it.

It opens up a pandora box on its use when and how, and the laws

relating to it?

But your story is funny.

[Numanoid]

:thumbsup: :lol: Funny!

[bronzie]

Very funny, in a self

destruction kind of way. Tasers are dangerous, im suprised, Bel, that you went that far and zapped yourself, knowing

your science background and such, I would have thought you would know the painful conclusion of such an act.

Like

woofa said, Tasers, are weapons that are supposed to debilitate an offender temporarily, but people with low immune

system, others with nervous problems, and heart conditions, can die from a stun.

Maybe the pepper capsicum spray

is the way to go for some S AND M on a saturday night, at least you know you wont die for it, might go blind

though......lol

[idesign]

Too funny... Bel didn't

actually zap himself bronzie, its from one of those email jokes. I've read a lot of your old posts, good to see

you.

[belgareth]

Hi Bronzie,

That wasn't

me, I only posted it. I have better sense and don't write as well as that.

[bronzie]

sorry Bel, yeah I did question

if you had done that to yourself, but sure you can write like that..... I know you have better sense, but who knows,

anything is possible in this world, I once shot myself in the hand (lucky for me, I just grazed it) with a fishing

spear gun, (not on purpose ofcourse) so there you go....

hi idesign, hows it going? been behind on the phero news

and forum.....good to see you guys here

[omaj]

very funny!

[woofa1]

Bronzie, were have you been bro.

Tasers = Insanity. Looked on he net as to how many deaths there has been with tasers. And there has been a few.



Like i said if used incorrectly and on the wrong people ie people with heart problems. Will cause major

problems!

[belgareth]

Beats the hell out of what a

gun or nightstick will do. Overall, tasers have probably saved thousands more lives than they have taken.

[DrSmellThis]

Beats

the hell out of what a gun or nightstick will do. Overall, tasers have probably saved thousands more lives than they

have taken.Probably, and hopefully, you are correct; even though I read about local fatalities from them on

a regular basis. I'd be interested to see correlations between the introduction of tasers, and the incidence of

lethal force, in particular communities. I'm not going to assume what this data indicates, however, until I see

it.

The problem with them, at least in the local statistics and studies I've read, is that they tend to be

consistently overused. And the deaths that do result from them tend to be "controversial", to put it mildly, simply

because such deaths are virtually always unintended.

Police have tended to view them as sort of generic crowd

control; not so different from pepper spray. This is a problem with training. The training on the use of tasers

tends to lag significantly behind the data. Hopefully that is changing for the better, as we slowly start to

understand the medical phenomena associated with them. To date, we have been sort of "shooting from the hip" with

them; that is, using them on a regular basis without an understanding of what they do medically.

Recent data

certainly underscores that we shouldn't think of them as non-lethal force.

But no question, they are a useful,

"less lethal" weapon. I have about ten cops in my family, and I wouldn't want them to be without these weapons.

Better training, supervision, and accountability around the use of these weapons are key.

At least we now have

the versatile "Don't taze me, bra!" in popular culture. :)

Anyway, funny post. You can always count on the

Bellster to bring the Darwinian humor.

[belgareth]

Unfortunately, even pepper

spray can cause adverse reactions resulting in death. It's a hard call to make and I wouldn't want the job of

making the call on whether to use a taser or not. People rarely manage to put themselves into the position of the

cop at the scene. They are trying to do a difficult and dangerous job under adverse conditions that often require

split second decisions. And you can bet that every decision they make will be second guessed later by the armchair

quarterbacks. Doc is right about training, it helps to make better decisions, if it is repeated often enough. That

brings up other issues like funding. Most often police do not have the funding for the amount of training they

really need to do the job as well as we'd like them to do it.

I do not always support the actions of the police

but I try to understand them and not to revile them just on general principles. You have to look at every incident

on a case by case basis.

[DrSmellThis]

Yes, of course. Usually the

individual officers on the front lines take all the heat for their lack of training. Those at the bottom of the

chain of command often get thrown under the bus by the public, and even their superiors. The vast majority of the

time, they are doing the best they can to make the best decisions and protect themselves or the public.