I'm being totally honest here

[TylerD]

Ok, I

don't want to bother people who read this post with long stories, so I will just try to be quick.
I would like to

get advice on umm... how to call it best....damage control.
That is sometimes I can be really arrogant with people

even if I don't want to. Especially with women who are actually INTERESTED in me. I came to the conclusion that it

is like a preemptive strike for NO ACTUAL reason except because somewhere deep inside I fear being hurt.
I think

this is what is left after dealing with social anxiety.
I have ordered SOE and currently waiting for it to arrive.

Maybe Liquid Trust? And what about A1? I want to have some space so the connection is not instantly destroyed in

case I do a stupid thing. In the long run, however, I want to drop pheromone usage.
Umm..some other advice except

mones? I'm open to it, no problems here.
Thanks

[terry0400-40]

Ok, I don't want to bother people who read this post with long stories, so I will just try to

be quick.
I would like to get advice on umm... how to call it best....damage control.
That is sometimes I can be

really arrogant with people even if I don't want to. Especially with women who are actually INTERESTED in me. I

came to the conclusion that it is like a preemptive strike for NO ACTUAL reason except because somewhere deep inside

I fear being hurt.
I think this is what is left after dealing with social anxiety.
I have ordered SOE and

currently waiting for it to arrive. Maybe Liquid Trust? And what about A1? I want to have some space so the

connection is not instantly destroyed in case I do a stupid thing. In the long run, however, I want to drop

pheromone usage.
Umm..some other advice except mones? I'm open to it, no problems here.
ThanksYou have to make it a habit of asking yourself this type of question and then visualising

with feeling the answers you receive back. Ie:-



"If i were completly free of hangups and bagage when in the company of another

person"


How would i feel ?
How would i be acting

?
What would i be doing differently

?If i trusted that things would work out fine, How would i

appraise what i am worried about ? What can i do to reassure myself and move on ?

If i were relaxed right now, how would i see

what is troubling me ?

If i fully trusted my competence, how would i accomplish what i need to do

?

If i were

in charge of my life, how would i see what i am anxious about ? Is there anything i would do differently ? What

would it be ?

[TylerD]

Thanks for reminding me the power

of questions, Terry.
I'm compiling a little list now.

[CAtriathlete]

In my experience Liquid

Trust is useless.

A1, on the other hand, is awesome for building warm fuzzies and comfort with a woman. But as

you've already astutely noted, it's the attitude that you carry that is the dominant issue here, and no pheromones

are going to solve that.

You might try an approach one of my teachers has suggested: Lead with compassion.



That means,
-for everything you say
-for every behavior you initiate
-for every intention you create
lead with

the empathetic sense that we all suffer and need understanding.

And I'm not talking some new-agey pollyanna

self-conditioning here. I'm talking about leading with an open heart, rather than your defenses. And Terry

suggests, it will take a lot of constant looking at yourself to see the difference.

And most of all, have

compassion towards yourself.

If you can mix an attitude of compassion with some A1 and SOE, I think you will see

a change in your rapport with women.

just MHO,

-CAt

[terry0400-40]

Thanks for reminding me the power of questions, Terry.
I'm compiling a little list

now.Yes i do it frequently now every day and it really helps me stay out of

the box.

Also as Cat has said i try and treat myself and others with compassion in my responses to

situations, it helps me keep out of being locked in the box with the negative Ego that tries to control my life and

actions by clouding over who i am and what i am capable of.

It takes a little work, but the rewards are

just fantastic in creating peace joy and optimism. :cheers:

[idesign]

I think

this is what is left after dealing with social anxiety.

Thanks

Ahhh, we are brothers. One of my first

posts on this forum was very similar to yours.

Terry and CAt give very good advice.

Our preconditioned

social responses have a lot to do with who we are now, but does not have to determine who we are in the future.

Your post in another thread leads me to believe that you understand about attitude and results.

Email me if you

like and I'll send you a great response I got here on this forum.

[BGuy20]

Tyler:

As a recovering

nice guy (I'm in the 12-step program), let me tell you, YOU SHOULD NOT CHANGE A THING.

I've realized the

honest truth that it's the confident, cocky guys that get the girls. It's interesting what you said: that you act

that way ESPECIALLY around girls that like you. Perhaps its your attitude that attracts them in the first

place?

It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective: we're still hardwired like we're living in caves

and hunting buffalo with spears. It's evolutionary programming that compels women to be attracted to the confident,

cocky asshole guys. It's almost as if (subconsciously) the woman is asking, "Can he provide for me?" and the answer

in your case seems to be yes.

But if you'd rather be the guy who hears "I value our friendship" and who

hears about all the asshole guys shes inexorably attracted to, be my guest and change your behavior.

[tenaciousBLADE]

As an NLP practitioner, I

would just like to add to the great advice Terry mentioned here. You do better when you actually ask the questions

in your mind, and not just answer them. Let your brain hear the questions, feel them, and visualize thier meaning

:D
Great input Terry :thumbsup: - as always ;)


If you can mix an attitude of

compassion with some A1 and SOE, I think you will see a change in your rapport with women.
Couldn't have

put it better myself:thumbsup:
I usually don't recommend A1 for beginners, but it seems to be a good answer to

your specific situation. Though SOE is the best answer indeed for your situation.. If you find it not to be enough -

then maybe try A1.
(I love A1 - I just usually don't advise it for beginners that's all :)).

[tenaciousBLADE]

Email me if you like and I'll send you a great response I got here on this

forum.
I'm interested in that response.... can you not link it, please?
If you need to be tought how to

link, I can teach you easily... even how to link to a specific post-reply... just ask me to :D
I'm curious about

that response :p

[tenaciousBLADE]

It's evolutionary programming that compels women to be attracted to the confident, cocky

asshole guys.
pffft... I would AT LEAST delete the "asshole" part of that assumption.
We're not trying to

change anyones' behaviour, but rather improve it and make it flexible.. more suited to the situation (in every

situation).
Granted - Cocky can be an awsome tool, but it shouldn't be a way of life.
And dude, for the

record, I'm the type of guy to whom girls say: "I value your friendship very much... but do you mind if we also

have sex while staying friends?".
And when I want a g\f... I get her (have one right now... she's awsome and damn

sexy :D).

Still.. everyone is entitled to their own way of looking at things.
So if it works for you - feel

free :)

[TylerD]

Thanks guys for replying, I

appreciate and value it.
-----------------------------------
CAtriathlete:
I looked at the dictionary what

compassion means and while there are a few translations, I guess I have an image of what you mean. Wikipedia helped

to :)
I love women. To me, a woman is like a rose. She has thorns if you don't know how to touch her, but if you

know, she will blossom in your hands and will let you savor it.
Yesterday I was with my friends in coffee-house and

there was not so much people already, it was kinda late and they were almost closing. I flirted with the cute

waitress a bit. All the time she was near and she heard when I told my friends I will go home now.
When we asked

for the bill, she was all eyes on me and asked me....to stay. At that moment something inside me happened like a red

light telling me to stop. I'm just happy I didn't told her anything cocky at that moment... I wouldn't be able to

sleep after :) At least I hugged her and told maybe next time...

idesign:
It's great to hear we understand each

other.
I will send you an email, it will be really interesting to read.

BGuy20:
Hmm... I was thinking for a few

minutes what to answer.
While I value your reply, I think it's really all about calibration and flexibility.
Not

changing my behaviour/thinking is not the answer because if you don't change the behaviour you just keep getting

the same results.
And the results are getting a girl attracted, realizing she is really attracted, feeling a "red

light response" and then either disappearing or telling/doing something mean to stop it.
It's not my sometimes

mean behaviour that attracts them.
You are correct about the confidence part, but being an asshole is just another

extreme just like being a waaayyy to nice guy and unless the woman is low self esteem and THINKS she deserves it

it's not the answer.
A nice guy with confidence and strong sense of self can really get all the women he

wants.
Cocky can sometimes work to, for example with the spoiled "beauty queens", but as I mentioned before, it's

all about calibration.
But anyway, thanks for you answer and I wish you luck in your quest.

tenaciousBLADE:
I

agree with pretty much everything you said. Waiting for my SOE shipment to arrive - those will be the first

mones(mones from a shop that is :) )I will try in a long, long time.

[tenaciousBLADE]

A

nice guy with confidence and strong sense of self can really get all the women he wants.
...
it's all about

calibration


Personally, I totally agree with that.
And, you sound like a smart guy who knows what he

wants. I'm sure you'll get that which you want at some point :thumbsup:... Specially with that open-minded

attitude :D



a woman is like a rose. She has thorns if you don't know how to touch her,

but if you know, she will blossom in your hands and will let you savor it.

I love that one!

Awsome!! :thumbsup:

[TylerD]

And,

you sound like a smart guy who knows what he wants. I'm sure you'll get that which you want at some point

:thumbsup:... Specially with that open-minded attitude :D

Thanks a lot for the kind words, tenaciousBLADE

:)
I am sure at some point I will get what I want.
It's just that now I feel like that kid in kindergarten when

everybody gets a candy except him.
Today I was exchanging messages with a girl I met two weeks ago on my way home.

Everything seemed fine and we liked each other and at one point a few days ago she (provocatively) offered to meet.

I refused. We continued exchanging messages for some time. And then I made a mistake, I rushed things. And you know,

you cannot rush things here, especially when talking on the phone/SMS. You gotta be flexible. I knew I was doing a

mistake, but guess this was because subconsciously I tried to make sure everything will be fine once we meet.

Stupid, I know.
So one moment she is all over me, the next....she says she has a husband.
It just sucks to hear it

at the point when I was so open to her.... I know... But still, it sucks.
So I just tried to remain cool. And sent

another message to other girl I met about the same time. I liked her too, we were getting along very good. She was

sending me kisses etc a day before.
And so I write her a message. She does not respond for whatever reason. I send

another message. After some time I realized I sent her like six messages in a row without any response. Now how does

that look like? I wonder what I would think about a girl AND HER LIFE if I would be in her place...
Needy. A nice

way to sabotage my success with a beautiful girl who gets lots of attention...............:frustrate
I'm just

happy I gave some good emotions to those two girls.
So anyway, sorry for this rant of mine. I know everything will

be fine....one day, it's just that now I feel very lonely. Today I got a notice from post office - my SOE shipment

has arrived. Tomorrow I will go get it.

[TylerD]

So

I received my shipment of SOE(and Chikara too)two days ago.
Yesterday I was in the city and wore SOE. It's still

hard to draw any conclusions. I want to be as objective as possible and from yesterdays interactions I can't tell

much. Although I picked up a girl AND also got one negative reaction. More on this later.
Used like 2/3 of SOE gel

pack. First tried to determine the effect on me myself. Now this one is not easy to describe, but it may be that I

felt more in connection with umm...(nobody in the room except me here)myself and the world. Like maybe more in

piece. Not calmer, but...like more friendly. Then for some time I tried to imagine how I would feel about a girl

wearing SOE(AFAIK some women use it to). It seems I could describe the feelings as "emotional connection, trust,

being close" etc. Maybe some sexual undertones to, but more of the connection stuff. I could feel the same feelings

even thinking about a girl I'm not actually very close with.
So on to the reports. First I catched a taxi to go

where I need to. The driver(a man)seemed a little more friendly and talkative(it's not the first time I see him),

although it may be just because upon entering a car I talked with him and shared some things.
So anyway I go and

meet a woman(business questions). I know her for some time already, she is like 35yo, but very feminine, positive,

smart, sense of style etc(I realized after writing this I kinda start to like her now LOL). Can't draw strong

conclusions about the effects of SOE here too. This women is usually responsive to me as she was yesterday, MAYBE

there was more connection, but I can't measure that.
So after that I go by trolley and there are a lot of people

on it(rush hour). I mark my ticket and there is this older woman standing behind me. She smiles and asks for me to

mark her ticket too. I do that and tell the good thing about so many people here is that no controller can get in to

check the tickets :) She was in general very positive. Can I call this a hit of SOE? I dunno. I attribute it to my

attitude. Although it seems SOE might have an effect on my attitude, so that's a good thing.
So anyway after I'm

walking on the streets, met my friend for a few minutes(a man too), didn't notice anything out of ordinary.
I

notice women looking at me on the street. Dunno if SOE has an effect on it. They start to look at me from distance,

plus I have catched a cold so I'm wearing clothes covering my neck. As I'm crossing the street I see a

particularly beautiful girl and she keeps eye contact with me. Looks down for a moment and then looks back in the

eyes. I swear she does that again, I'm going to try to kiss her in the middle of the street :lol:
But I can

already hardly control myself and the next moment I realize I stopped her in the middle of the street on a crosswalk

and the only reason cars are not going here is because people are walking(no traffic lights).
And now the people

are not walking. In fact the only people in the middle of the street are me and the girl. And surprisingly no car

signals.
Don't remember what we talked about in those few moments(I'm thinking about damn cars here LOL), just

remember how her voice sounds and how her eyes look when she giggles. Those delighting moments make me feel alive:p

So anyway I see I gotta go, she says see you soon and I go on with my day to day business.
Of course now even more

women glance at me :)
I catch another taxi, but traffic jams are everywhere and after a few minutes of talking and

joking with the driver(actually a very cool guy)I jump out of the car again.
Some more things to do, some more

people to talk to, nothing out of ordinary happens really and I head towards home.
On the way I visit a coffee, but

it's more like a McDonald's with no waitresses. I feel kinda tired and it's damn hot here(or is it justs me?)and

for some reason my state drops. Plus I get a negative reaction from a girl who is standing over the counter. I

can't really tell the reason, maybe the thing that she didn't understood what I was talking at first, maybe some

others, but she gets a strong bitch shield on even if I was not trying to pick her up or anything. She is like

"yeah" and rolls her eyes. Now you can say she always like that, but she flirted with a guy a few minutes ago.
Now

I was in situations like that before and I know a woman respects you if you get pats that and do not react to it. In

fact, she gets attracted.
But I was just standing here with this "what the hell is happening here?" look in my eyes

and wanted to just get my food and not see anymore cause it hurts.
Plus, who the hell she thinks she is. She is

hardly someone I would loose my head for.
So anyway I just say I love you too :)
If it matters, quite some time

already passed after the application of SOE.
After lunch I see more beautiful girls and it cheers me up. Since

there is still like half an hour left I just keep exchanging messages with the girl I mention in the post

above.
When the bus comes, there are a lot of people and one girl catches my eye. I am really happy she goes with

the same bus :) As people are getting in, I try to position myself so I'm either in front of her or sideways so I

can chat her up like "it just happened".
I chat her up and that the dynamics are wrong and it just ends up being

lame. Yes, she smiled AFTER she looked into my eyes and saw this almost screaming look "IT'S A JOKE. EVERYTHING IS

COOL. IT'S A JOKE". My thoughts go like "stay cool, everything is under control, next topic".
But the mind just

goes zzzzzzt BLANK. She gets onto the bus. I go after. Pay for the ticket and look where she goes to sit. It would

be nice if I could sit next to her but not to close if you know what I mean. But it turns out the place is taken and

the only place to sit is next to her. And she just puts her things here.
Not good. However I already started and

there is no way back and even if it looks damn lame now and me a big guy(compared to her)running after can more

likely scare her off than attract her....have you ever seen one of those movies, where a guy is at first running

after a girl and she seems to ignore him at first, thinking he is lame, but then something happens and she sees

*something* in him. Like he stands for himself at last, or maybe turn out to be a really cool guy or may be, as an

extreme example, becomes a super hero :)
So I'd say we get into bus by me following her, we get out of it after 30

minutes by her following me.
And as the old saying goes be careful what you wish for....:):nono:
So yeah it

started slowly by her sending indicators of interest and ended with hugs(that was big for me), some kisses and I

think I like her:lovestruc She is cute and warm and sexy.
Too bad she had to go with another bus, but it leaves

things to be desired for, so it has a good side to it to ;)
So where does SOE comes in? I dunno. It was not the

first time I met a girl like this, far from that, it seems my attitude still had TREMENDOUS effect on the results,

both positive and not so(although I would not call them negative as it's always a valuable feedback).
Although it

was still hard for me to accept positive reactions reactions sometimes and I was expecting beforehand negative ones

the other times and sometimes still was arrogant, maybe SOE softened the edges a bit(still more testing needed).

Also the questions helped a lot too.

[terry0400-40]

I
So I received my shipment of SOE(and Chikara too)two days

ago.
Yesterday I was in the city and wore SOE. It's still hard to draw any conclusions. I want to be as objective

as possible and from yesterdays interactions I can't tell much. Although I picked up a girl AND also got one

negative reaction. More on this later.
Used like 2/3 of SOE gel pack. First tried to determine the effect on me

myself. Now this one is not easy to describe, but it may be that I felt more in connection with umm...(nobody in the

room except me here)myself and the world. Like maybe more in piece. Not calmer, but...like more friendly. Then for

some time I tried to imagine how I would feel about a girl wearing SOE(AFAIK some women use it to). It seems I could

describe the feelings as "emotional connection, trust, being close" etc. Maybe some sexual undertones to, but more

of the connection stuff. I could feel the same feelings even thinking about a girl I'm not actually very close

with.
So on to the reports. First I catched a taxi to go where I need to. The driver(a man)seemed a little more

friendly and talkative(it's not the first time I see him), although it may be just because upon entering a car I

talked with him and shared some things.
So anyway I go and meet a woman(business questions). I know her for some

time already, she is like 35yo, but very feminine, positive, smart, sense of style etc(I realized after writing this

I kinda start to like her now LOL). Can't draw strong conclusions about the effects of SOE here too. This women is

usually responsive to me as she was yesterday, MAYBE there was more connection, but I can't measure that.
So after

that I go by trolley and there are a lot of people on it(rush hour). I mark my ticket and there is this older woman

standing behind me. She smiles and asks for me to mark her ticket too. I do that and tell the good thing about so

many people here is that no controller can get in to check the tickets :) She was in general very positive. Can I

call this a hit of SOE? I dunno. I attribute it to my attitude. Although it seems SOE might have an effect on my

attitude, so that's a good thing.
So anyway after I'm walking on the streets, met my friend for a few minutes(a

man too), didn't notice anything out of ordinary.
I notice women looking at me on the street. Dunno if SOE has an

effect on it. They start to look at me from distance, plus I have catched a cold so I'm wearing clothes covering my

neck. As I'm crossing the street I see a particularly beautiful girl and she keeps eye contact with me. Looks down

for a moment and then looks back in the eyes. I swear she does that again, I'm going to try to kiss her in the

middle of the street :lol:
But I can already hardly control myself and the next moment I realize I stopped her in

the middle of the street on a crosswalk and the only reason cars are not going here is because people are walking(no

traffic lights).
And now the people are not walking. In fact the only people in the middle of the street are me and

the girl. And surprisingly no car signals.
Don't remember what we talked about in those few moments(I'm thinking

about damn cars here LOL), just remember how her voice sounds and how her eyes look when she giggles. Those

delighting moments make me feel alive:p So anyway I see I gotta go, she says see you soon and I go on with my day to

day business.
Of course now even more women glance at me :)
I catch another taxi, but traffic jams are everywhere

and after a few minutes of talking and joking with the driver(actually a very cool guy)I jump out of the car

again.
Some more things to do, some more people to talk to, nothing out of ordinary happens really and I head

towards home.
On the way I visit a coffee, but it's more like a McDonald's with no waitresses. I feel kinda tired

and it's damn hot here(or is it justs me?)and for some reason my state drops. Plus I get a negative reaction from a

girl who is standing over the counter. I can't really tell the reason, maybe the thing that she didn't understood

what I was talking at first, maybe some others, but she gets a strong bitch shield on even if I was not trying to

pick her up or anything. She is like "yeah" and rolls her eyes. Now you can say she always like that, but she

flirted with a guy a few minutes ago.
Now I was in situations like that before and I know a woman respects you if

you get pats that and do not react to it. In fact, she gets attracted.
But I was just standing here with this "what

the hell is happening here?" look in my eyes and wanted to just get my food and not see anymore cause it

hurts.
Plus, who the hell she thinks she is. She is hardly someone I would loose my head for.
So anyway I just say

I love you too :)
If it matters, quite some time already passed after the application of SOE.
After lunch I see

more beautiful girls and it cheers me up. Since there is still like half an hour left I just keep exchanging

messages with the girl I mention in the post above.
When the bus comes, there are a lot of people and one girl

catches my eye. I am really happy she goes with the same bus :) As people are getting in, I try to position myself

so I'm either in front of her or sideways so I can chat her up like "it just happened".
I chat her up and that the

dynamics are wrong and it just ends up being lame. Yes, she smiled AFTER she looked into my eyes and saw this almost

screaming look "IT'S A JOKE. EVERYTHING IS COOL. IT'S A JOKE". My thoughts go like "stay cool, everything is under

control, next topic".
But the mind just goes zzzzzzt BLANK. She gets onto the bus. I go after. Pay for the ticket

and look where she goes to sit. It would be nice if I could sit next to her but not to close if you know what I

mean. But it turns out the place is taken and the only place to sit is next to her. And she just puts her things

here.
Not good. However I already started and there is no way back and even if it looks damn lame now and me a big

guy(compared to her)running after can more likely scare her off than attract her....have you ever seen one of those

movies, where a guy is at first running after a girl and she seems to ignore him at first, thinking he is lame, but

then something happens and she sees *something* in him. Like he stands for himself at last, or maybe turn out to be

a really cool guy or may be, as an extreme example, becomes a super hero :)
So I'd say we get into bus by me

following her, we get out of it after 30 minutes by her following me.
And as the old saying goes be careful what

you wish for....:):nono:
So yeah it started slowly by her sending indicators of interest and ended with hugs(that

was big for me), some kisses and I think I like her:lovestruc She is cute and warm and sexy.
Too bad she had to go

with another bus, but it leaves things to be desired for, so it has a good side to it to ;)
So where does SOE comes

in? I dunno. It was not the first time I met a girl like this, far from that, it seems my attitude still had

TREMENDOUS effect on the results, both positive and not so(although I would not call them negative as it's always a

valuable feedback).
Although it was still hard for me to accept positive reactions reactions sometimes and I was

expecting beforehand negative ones the other times and sometimes still was arrogant, maybe SOE softened the edges a

bit(still more testing needed). Also the questions helped a lot too.Ive

been using SOE average about 4 days week for over a year with good obvious results regarding softening the edges a

bit to say the very least of its attractive and consistant nature.

While im here just mention today applied 1/4 TE gel to chin with 1/2 gel/ pkt SOE around throat

and had a good time at an open air country market fair.

I was

somewhat suprised when several China men tried to keep me talking for nearly 20 minutes even though they knew i

wasnt buying they were happy small talking me which is not usual for these business type

men.

It was another great fun testing day with great responses

from all females i approached including Asian girls.

When i

stopped in one spot for 10 minutes i did notice a couple of girls in different directions who were checking me out

continually and making obvious eye contact, I dont know what to make of it because i was over 30 ft and 40 ft away

from the other one.

I had several girls check me out in

passing who returned back like they could have been picked up easy.

I was driven to the market with 3 girls who were around somewhere close by so i was behaving my

self lol. :angel:

Both SOE and TE as good if not better than

anything else out there, well im happy with the stuff and always regard it as a good investment, even if only to

keep my supplies topped up. :thumbsup:

[TylerD]

It was another great fun testing day with great responses from all females i approached including

Asian girls.It's awesome. I mean there are not so many really social guys around. Of course

they are always much more noticeable, but statistically the percentage is quite low.
So it's great we have guys

like you here on this board.


When i stopped in one spot for 10 minutes

i did notice a couple of girls in different directions who were checking me out continually and making obvious eye

contact, I dont know what to make of it because i was over 30 ft and 40 ft away from the other one.

The first word that comes to my mind again starts with A and and end with E :)
This and

social proof. If you can get women interested in you and other women see it, you are instantly recognized as an

attractive ummm...tested male.
A few minutes ago I received a call from my friends, tomorrow they want to go "to

practice" and so they invited me. They are great guys, but now I just need to think what we will do. To go somewhere

to have fun, where there is high density of people. Cause it's all about fun. Then meeting women will be easy.
So

tomorrow I will do more SOE testing:thumbsup:

[marina1]

I'm sorry to drop in the middle

of the conversation but, what's A1?

[TylerD]

I'm sorry

to drop in the middle of the conversation but, what's A1?

I am happy you dropped :)
Love-Scent Product

Table says A1 is Androstadienone.
More info with links to products:


http://www.pherolibrary.com/human-pheromones/androstadienone.htm

[marina1]

thank a lot, I truly was lost

!