Still no success

[rllycute]

I am so over the top

stressed. I haven't been on for a long long time because I have been so upset about NOTHING working for me. Could

it be my body? I even bought EoW and NOTHING. Maybe I will never find success with this.
I do understand that he

works long hours and is very very tired, but when he has several days off and is rested it sure would be nice to

have the passion. and NO he's not cheating!!! yes - I do know this for a fact!!! We have actually gone 2 months

with nothing! I really need help in getting the right produce. I have tried 2 types of produce that comes in little

packs and EoW. Last time I wrote I was told to use less EoW because the amount I was originally told did nothing -

well less does nothing also.
Am I hopeless?

[belgareth]

Let's try another approach.

Pheromones are not a miracle cure and cannot perform magic. Tell us about yourself and the man you are trying to

attract. Perhaps we can help you figure out what is going on and offer some insights that will help.

[justfabulous]

Sorry for your plight dear. I usually don't get into grown-folk business however you

asked for advice so here's mine:) . My suggestion would be to evaluate your relationship and figure out why you and

your man have not been intimate in months you say? Belgarth is right, pheros is no miracle worker.



Also, never ever assume your man is not cheating. Any woman

would be naive to think that. Not to say that he is, however I am a realist and I know that men do cheat and

cheating is about opportunity. I hear men say that all the time, that they will never cheat blah blah blah and I ask

them if a "Halle Berry" or "Angelina Jolie" try to sleep with you would they? They all say yes BUT it's not

cheating. Now how is that?! LOL:lol: Just because there a "celebrity" it's not considered cheating?? See this is

the rationale that men use. Bottom line if your sleeping with anyone who is not your wife, girlfriend, fiance etc

then your cheating. I personally think all men cheat and don't trust not a one. Again it's about opportunity. I

tell any man I deal with as long as I don't see it or hear it I can careless because I refuse to stress myself out

wondering what he's doing and who's he's screwing! At the end of the day there isn't a damn thing you can do

about it unless you plan on being stuck to him like white on rice!



Why don't you pick up one of my favorite books "Why Men Love

Bitches" and "Why Men Marry Bitches" by Shery Argov. A definite pick me up for single and committed women. I live by

those books and it works wonders!

[Lokua]

just a suggestion but on the days

off perhaps you could take an initiative? pin him to the bed, lay it out in what i call "caveman english" and tell

him exactly what you want, blunt and to the point.

caveman english would be something along the lines of "honey,

im horny. f***king take me" if that doesnt work then phero's isnt going to be a solution.

is there any pictular

events happening that could have him put off? perhaps a recent death? emotional issues? talk to your man and try to

find out what is wrong. though if its just sex im sure the first solution will work

[tenaciousBLADE]

First off... if you

do want `mone-details, we need to at least know his and your age.

Second...
well, I guess if you talk

like that you've tried everything.
Still, I think you should try and help him realize how important this is

for you.
You should show him you have a natural need and you want him to be a part of the solution. Maybe try

getting him to talk about the reasons behind his (non)actions.

[gaf]

[FONT=Arial][COLOR=magenta][B] I personally think all men cheat and don't trust not a

one. Again it's about opportunity.

No, I belive you have chosen the wrong man.
:POKE:
Don't

assume we all cheat because yours did.
:nono:

[Lokua]

First

off... if you do want `mone-details, we need to at least know his and your age.

Second...
well, I guess

if you talk like that you've tried everything.
Now just in case you don't have children or it's not an 8 years+

long of a relationship...
How about...? saying "Listen... This sex life is not enough for me... don't get scared

here like a sissy or anything but... If you don't f*ck my brains this next week... We're done for. I'm serious!

I'm sorry - but I have my needs and one of them is to feel wanted - and that's a must!.. or we break this

relationship... which might be a shame for both of us, but it simply can't last without the most fr*aking basic

instinct of lust :("

i really wouldnt suggest saying that but its not my call

[belgareth]

First off... if you do want `mone-details, we need to at least know his and

your age.

Second...
well, I guess if you talk like that you've tried everything.
Now just in case you don't

have children or it's not an 8 years+ long of a relationship...
How about...? saying "Listen... This sex life is

not enough for me... don't get scared here like a sissy or anything but... If you don't f*ck my brains this next

week... We're done for. I'm serious! I'm sorry - but I have my needs and one of them is to feel wanted - and

that's a must!.. or we break this relationship... which might be a shame for both of us, but it simply

can't last without the most fr*aking basic instinct of lust :("
That's very bad advice. You would do well

to ignore it.

Have you tried counseling? Even if your partner refuses to go, you can go yourself in an effort to

sort things out. There is obviously a lot more going on here than we can resolve.

I also have to agree with

GAF, not all men cheat. Not only that, some of us have been completely faithful and tried to be good husbands only

to be cheated on.

[tenaciousBLADE]

In no way did I mean you

should insult the man. The oposite way is what I meant... To show him how important it is for you that he'll find

you attractive and show it... and be a part of the solution.
I admit - I was tiered and wrote a hursh reply. And

agree... you should ignore it. I appologize, as it's incosiderant of me to give such a hursh method and not

fully explain the focus of what I meant :nono: :(

Yet - belgareth.. wouldn't you agree that she has to

emphasize (in a softer way than what I suggested before) how important a need of hers it is that he'll show he

wants and needs her also in a sexual way?

[belgareth]

Yes, it is important but

throwing ultimatums is a dumb thing to do in almost every case. I know that when somebody tries that with me I dig

in my heels and get as uncooperative as possible.

In a short sentence: They have a serious issue and need to

communicate with one another to resolve it. If they cannot resolve it between them, they need outside help or their

marraige is in deep trouble. Been there and done that.

[tenaciousBLADE]

You're right. I get

that... and thinking of it I agree with you. People need to try & open up and communicate... not throw ultimatums.



Maybe outside help might indeed be a very good idea.

Well... I wouldn't imagine I'd find myself advising

ultimatums without even realizing I did so.
Thanks for the insight here.

[Lokua]

indeed. the male libido and ego

are very fragile things, you dont want to say anything that could worsen them if they are allredy harmed.

[justfabulous]

Hello all:wave: !

[Lokua]

justfabulous while i do not have

any problem with you stating your opinion i really dont think you should use words like "facts" as it means its more

than just your opinion

perhaps you could post credible statical reports backing up these claims?

[belgareth]

Justfabulous,

Please, we

all have opinions and experiences. You are entitled and I personally encourage you to always voice an opinion.

However, we are entitled to an opinion as well and have an equal right to voice it. No offense was meant at all and

hopefully none was taken, we simply disagree with you.

For myself, for what it is worth, I've never cheated and

have had plenty of opportunity. There are others I believe who can say the same thing. It's a shame that some

people cannot keep their vows but it isn't all of us. In my opinion, the majority of men will not cheat. Perhaps I

expect too much of my fellow men but really do believe it.

[Lokua]

id have to agree with bel. at best

i would say 3 outta 10 men cheat. thats a pretty high odds too without doing any research in the matter but i would

say that is the top of the spectrum.

however if one is constantly being cheated on no matter whom the partner may

be, it could be that the partner is not the one who has the issues in the relationship?

[tenaciousBLADE]

Personally, I disagree

with Fabulous' opinion on 99% of men cheating. I might be only 23 years old and I might have missed some "facts" of

life - but for now that sure ain't any fact in my life.

With that said, she does have a point

here:

I haven’t cursed or said

anything rude or belligerent so you shouldn’t call my advice “bad” you should just say you don’t agree. As I do not

agree with everything you or anybody else says on here but I won’t say its “bad” I would just say I don’t agree.


Thank

You!

I recon it was probably only a misunderstanding and they probably only

ment they disagree. And yes, I agree with Lokua that you shoudn't use words as "facts" to describe your opinion (if

you see them as facts in your personal life it's one thing, but these are not viewed as fact by any measurable

manner that I know of).

Still, calling any of our opinions bad advice and not even stating it is your

personal opinion that it's bad advice - is a bit harsh. Even if you're right, and that advice is not by

any means usefull to the poster - you shouldn't label it as "bad".

But hey... everyone makes mistakes. In these

forums, I guess most of what is said is opinion anyway.

[justfabulous]

...............

[sweet thing]

I say you should go about your business and let him wonder why you are not lamenting. :think:



Everyday you should dress as though you care about your appearance. Spend time enjoying your looks in the

mirror and pay him no mind. Dump the sweats, flip flops and find that red lipstick. That is how women that are

having an affair act. Do not ask, "Does this dress make me look fat?" Just put it on with your FMPs and keep on

going. You know the routine. Kiss him on the forehead like a little school boy and then check to make sure your

seams are on straight. "What is she up to?" :think:

The attention you will get from men on the outside of your

home will fuel sexual energy in the inside of it. He will notice other men looking at you, and wonder why he is not

jumping on it too.

Either way, do not beat yourself up for his lack of sexual interest. It may be a medical

reason, perhaps a side effect of a perscription medication. Who knows. There are plenty of environmental factors for

low sex drive. Stress is number one! :rant:

Just keep your head up and your self esteem. Love yourself.



Shake it till you break it. If he won't make it, there are plenty of men that will take it.

Sweet Thing

[idesign]

Hi Fabulous,

I really

don't want you to get disillusioned by men. There is no possible way to scientifically know who cheats and who

doesn't. By its very nature cheating hides statistics.

But since we're basing this on personal observation,

the older I get the more I see couples my age (49) being faithful, and the incidence of cheating being spread pretty

much equally among men and women.

You and I have talked here about the kind of man you're looking for, and his

qualities. In my search I'm looking for a woman who has the character traits of someone I know will be faithful.

There are no guarantees, but there ARE those character traits in any person that you can read which will lead you to

trust or distrust.

I, like Bel, believe in the possibility of honesty and commitment among men and women. It can

happen, and does happen. To me there is no more important trait in any woman I would choose to spend my life

with.

[Lokua]

Lokua "3 out of 10 men cheat?" Where in the heck

did you get that from?

dunno, same place you pulled your guess from? ^.^

its hard

to guess such things considering its impossible to get stasticial measurements on such things. not many would admit

to such questioning thus you cannot have an accurate measurement

however you really shouldnt judge all based upon

your experiences.

the only study i could find is 10yrs old though it places the estimate around 22% for men and

18% for women cheating. 4% is not a huge diffrence and does imply women cheat just as much as men

do..

source:
http://www.womansavers.com/infidelity-statistics.asp

[rllycute]

OMG - I

didn't know I would get such a large reply. to answer some of the questions.... I am 43 and he is 38. I work M-F

and he works M-Th during the day and then works F-Sat nights from 4pm to 5am. so most of our problem is that he is

drop dead tired all the time. on his days off he likes to lay around and play video games and not have to think

about anything. I know for sure he is not cheating because I can call him at any time day or night - and no - not

at just certain times and I can get him right away. He will talk to me for 15 to 30 mins when I call. If I don't

call him for a while he calls and checks on me. we are trying to keep our communication alive. I have told him

that I enjoy sex with him and that i desire him. We have had moments where i have tried to start something and he

blows me off because he is too tired and says its not fair because he wants to but wouldn't be able to give it his

all. It hurts but I understand. I just wanted to try mones to see if I can waken things up for us on the days he

is off and resting. It doesn't work. I've even worn it out to see if what people say is true - it draws others

to you. I get nothing - not even a glance. I ordered something else a few weeks ago and still nothing. so i

don't think it's just him. no guy looks my way - dont misunderstand me - i dont want any other man - i just

wanted to see if this stuff works. if others look then maybe its us - but no one has so maybe it doesnt work on me

specifically. I have been cheated on before a few times and i totally know the signs. if i thought that were the

case - i respect myself enough to say 'you're gone!' he is a good man, great provider and wonderful dad of a 13

yr old that has issues. and sex isnt the most important in a relationship. i just miss him so much in that area.

i just want something that will wake him up and put spice in the night - just one night. anything would be great -

even a make out session at this point. but i guess his being tired from work is just in the way - heck he's so

tired he's not even working out anymore and has gain 25 pounds.
any more suggestions????

[belgareth]

You didn't mention the other

symptoms. Now it is begining to sound like depression, especially the weight gain to go with a general lack of

interest in other things. I'm not a psychologist but I think that you should explore the possibility of depression

with him. Do you have a family doctor you can discuss it with youself?

[DrSmellThis]

Hello all:wave: ! To Gaf and

Belgarth. As I stated in my post I wouldn't had commented had she not asked. Since she did I gave my advice on what

I have seen with my own two eyes. Gaf I never said anyone cheated on me. To be honest I never caught any of my

boyfriends cheating HOWEVER it doesn't mean it didn't happen. They were probably good at hiding it. What I have

seen is women I know from work, school, and women in my family get cheated on time and time again. Of all ages and

races. I am talking facts. Not a gimmick. You may very well be that 1% that does not cheat. Like I said before

cheating is about options and opportunity. If you had the options let’s say for instance like Brad Pitt or an

NBA, NFL or any professional sports player at that matter I think your tune would be different. It is a well known

fact that them professional players cheat on their wives. The wives know. They know how many groupies and thirsty

women are after their husbands. Not only are there willing and ready they are beautiful, gorgeous woman. Ain’t

that much will power in the world! I would never say I condone it but I understand. Again, this is my personal

opinion. This is an "open" forum and if someone asks for it then I will give it. I haven’t cursed or said

anything rude or belligerent so you shouldn’t call my advice “bad” you should just say you

don’t agree. As I do not agree with everything you or anybody else says on here but I won’t say its

“bad” I would just say I don’t agree.
Thank You!For many men, there is nothing they want more than

to do whatever they can to improve their current relationships. They want to be as close to their girlfriends and

wives as possible; and have as great a relationship as possible. They think about ways to do that all the time, etc.

They are happy, and see so much more promise in their current relationship than outside it, they would never think

of cheating.

I think the reasons for these individual differences are scientific and have to do with hormones

and neorotransmitters, such as the way our hormonal makeups change through out life. Hormones also differ among

individuals regardless of their age.

For some men, their hormones are telling them to cheat.

But some

hormones (and pheromones) promote fidelity. So for a lot of men, their urges are telling them to be faithful and

think of new ways to love their partners.

You sound as if, from a scientific standpoint, that you believe the

only hormone in a man's body is testosterone, and that all men have an excess of it.

I'm not talking about

morals, ethics or promises here. You can even have crappy morals as a man, and have absolutely no desire to cheat.



I hope that makes you feel better.

[rllycute]

what i find so interesting

about this is that i am asking for actual help to spice up my love life with my wonderful, but tired man and everone

keeps bringing up cheating. is he - isnt he? what the heck? i really don't want to read about anything that has

to do with cheating. i have stated, yet again...HE'S NOT!!!! If you worked 14 hours a day 6 days a week, you too

would be tired. He knows that I enjoy and miss being with him. He has made comments to my brother in law that

there are many times that my just walking by him excites him but he's just too tired to act on it and he feels

bad. i found that comment alone very sweet. he has a 13 yr old that has anger issues - so we spend time at night

dealing with him. by the time we get to bed it's 11 pm and then we are up at 4:30am. i just want to find a way to

draw him in for some personal time on his days off and after he has rested. If the man was cheating on me I don't

think he would be secretly planning our wedding (a family member slipped it out) he's working very hard to put us

in a financial area to have a better live together. I just miss him. Maybe I am being selfish. I'm putting my

need of being with him to high on the pole. I just thought I would give this a try to attempt to get us together

now and then - but like i said before - i don't think this works on me specifically. it doesn't even make other

mens heads turn. i've worn it out just to see if its a problem with us or if its me and it's go to be me. unless

there is something super wow for me to try, please dont start them assuming on cheating. you are slamming a good

man, and one you don't know and that is really not very nice. i just wanted some help in finding the right thing

to help spice us up - really. i feel so bad that it went onto a different topic.