Surreal
06-03-2007, 10:45 AM
I came across this the other night and I figure it's a good read for the younger guys here.
Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...
This is based on a lot of reaserch. You'll want to know
this.
There are 28 days in a womans mensrtual cycle. This cycle is what really determines how things go between
you and her. For example, on Day 24 you should learn to duck. I talked to sex experts and discovered how the
hormonal fluxes in a woman's body affect her moods-and your life-throughout the month. Now I have a handy schedule
for you to consult when you want to know which days you're going to have sex, which days your going to get yelled
at, and which days your going to get yelled at durring sex.
DAY 1 TO 5: She's ready to iron and fold
What's
happening to her: She may complain of cramps a few days before this, but this is where the cycle really starts. Her
estrogen levels are dropping, so there's only a 2% chance she'll get pregnate if you have sex. That would be great
news, except you won't be having sex right now. Thanks to those low estrogen levels, she currently sees you as a
large lump of cells in a stupid shirt.
Your strategy: Lack of estrogen can also trigger insomnia and restlessness,
which is why many women feel the urge to clean and organize durring these days, says Christine Northrup, M.D.,
author of Women's Bodies, Women's Widsdom (I read it so you wouldn't have to). My suggestion: Forget about sex
and point her to the clothes.
DAYS 6 TO 9: She's up for anything
What's happening to her: She's calmer and
happier now because her body is saturated in feel-good hormones and endorphins. "That means she's more receptive to
new and creative ideas," says Northrup.
Your strategy: Break out the new and creative ideas! This is the time to
settle old disputes and get buy-in on your golf trip with the guys.
DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's
happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of
mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your
woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling
her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for
Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence.
DAY 15: She's really horney
What's
happening to her: On the positive side, she CRAVES sex because she's at her most fertile. On the negative side, the
sex doesn't necessarily have to be with you. Research shows she's mroe likely to be unfaithful during this time.
In one study, researchers observed 500 women in nightclubs and found that they were more likely to wear revealing
clothes and send suggestive signals to men in this pahse of their cycle. Naturally, the researchers still went home
alone.
Your strategy: Don't let her out of the house by herself. Instead, take advantage of her adventerous mood
by trying a new position or location.
DAYS 16 TO 23: She's a lesbian
What's happening to her: Her estrogen
level is dropping again, so she's less fertile. Research shows that during these 8 days, she's mroe attracted to
feminine-looking men because they appear more nurturing (as I call it, the Justin Timberlake factor). She's no
longer looking for a strong man to provide sturdy genes and protection.
Your strategy: Shave and put on some
Melissa Etheridge.
DAYS 24 TO 28 She could crack at any moment
What's happening to her: Estrogen continues to
fall aas tantrum-provoking progesterone rises. This leads to premenstrual syndrome, during which she'll be extra
sensitive to criticism, more neurotic about ehr looks, and more likely to thrrow a fit, or a Crock-Pot.
Your
strategy: Play tennis or go run with her-vigorous exercise can reduce her symptoms. That way, if she "feels fat", at
least she's doing something about it.
DAYS 26 TO 28: She's craving ice cream and jelly beans
What's happening
to her: Her estrogen and progerterone levels are falling as her body prepares to start the cycle all voer again. Low
estrogen causes her to crave high-fat foods such as chocolate, which studies show can elevate mood.
Your strategy:
Indulge her cravings by taking her out to eat rather than bringing home some Ben & Jerry's. Reason? She'll eat the
whole tub and blame you for letting herr do it.
Memorize this, cut and paste this. It has been a great resource
for explaining moods for me for going on 2 years.
[...]
DIGG
Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...
This is based on a lot of reaserch. You'll want to know
this.
There are 28 days in a womans mensrtual cycle. This cycle is what really determines how things go between
you and her. For example, on Day 24 you should learn to duck. I talked to sex experts and discovered how the
hormonal fluxes in a woman's body affect her moods-and your life-throughout the month. Now I have a handy schedule
for you to consult when you want to know which days you're going to have sex, which days your going to get yelled
at, and which days your going to get yelled at durring sex.
DAY 1 TO 5: She's ready to iron and fold
What's
happening to her: She may complain of cramps a few days before this, but this is where the cycle really starts. Her
estrogen levels are dropping, so there's only a 2% chance she'll get pregnate if you have sex. That would be great
news, except you won't be having sex right now. Thanks to those low estrogen levels, she currently sees you as a
large lump of cells in a stupid shirt.
Your strategy: Lack of estrogen can also trigger insomnia and restlessness,
which is why many women feel the urge to clean and organize durring these days, says Christine Northrup, M.D.,
author of Women's Bodies, Women's Widsdom (I read it so you wouldn't have to). My suggestion: Forget about sex
and point her to the clothes.
DAYS 6 TO 9: She's up for anything
What's happening to her: She's calmer and
happier now because her body is saturated in feel-good hormones and endorphins. "That means she's more receptive to
new and creative ideas," says Northrup.
Your strategy: Break out the new and creative ideas! This is the time to
settle old disputes and get buy-in on your golf trip with the guys.
DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's
happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of
mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your
woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling
her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for
Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence.
DAY 15: She's really horney
What's
happening to her: On the positive side, she CRAVES sex because she's at her most fertile. On the negative side, the
sex doesn't necessarily have to be with you. Research shows she's mroe likely to be unfaithful during this time.
In one study, researchers observed 500 women in nightclubs and found that they were more likely to wear revealing
clothes and send suggestive signals to men in this pahse of their cycle. Naturally, the researchers still went home
alone.
Your strategy: Don't let her out of the house by herself. Instead, take advantage of her adventerous mood
by trying a new position or location.
DAYS 16 TO 23: She's a lesbian
What's happening to her: Her estrogen
level is dropping again, so she's less fertile. Research shows that during these 8 days, she's mroe attracted to
feminine-looking men because they appear more nurturing (as I call it, the Justin Timberlake factor). She's no
longer looking for a strong man to provide sturdy genes and protection.
Your strategy: Shave and put on some
Melissa Etheridge.
DAYS 24 TO 28 She could crack at any moment
What's happening to her: Estrogen continues to
fall aas tantrum-provoking progesterone rises. This leads to premenstrual syndrome, during which she'll be extra
sensitive to criticism, more neurotic about ehr looks, and more likely to thrrow a fit, or a Crock-Pot.
Your
strategy: Play tennis or go run with her-vigorous exercise can reduce her symptoms. That way, if she "feels fat", at
least she's doing something about it.
DAYS 26 TO 28: She's craving ice cream and jelly beans
What's happening
to her: Her estrogen and progerterone levels are falling as her body prepares to start the cycle all voer again. Low
estrogen causes her to crave high-fat foods such as chocolate, which studies show can elevate mood.
Your strategy:
Indulge her cravings by taking her out to eat rather than bringing home some Ben & Jerry's. Reason? She'll eat the
whole tub and blame you for letting herr do it.
Memorize this, cut and paste this. It has been a great resource
for explaining moods for me for going on 2 years.
[...]
DIGG