belgareth
02-11-2007, 08:19 PM
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize
cats
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit
her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You
can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sne eze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't
wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's
lap.
http://w
ww.pherolibrary.com/forum/cid:image002.jpg@01C74C4F.71A36710[
SIZE=1]
[/SIZE]GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE
LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are
like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for
the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else
you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age,
but sometimes age comes alone.
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't
believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa
Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is
. having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At
age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your
pants.
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize
cats
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit
her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You
can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sne eze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't
wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's
lap.
http://w
ww.pherolibrary.com/forum/cid:image002.jpg@01C74C4F.71A36710[
SIZE=1]
[/SIZE]GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE
LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are
like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for
the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else
you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age,
but sometimes age comes alone.
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't
believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa
Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is
. having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At
age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your
pants.