View Full Version : Need help closing the date, Any clue?
happyman
01-23-2007, 02:06 AM
Hi,
I need help in closing the date. It always seems a girl is interested in me and when I start to show
interest like asking her out or for her number she backs off. This always happens. I try not to be too "available"
or eager but it never fails that in the fact that things will be going right along and then I ask her out or for her
number and she changes. I KNOW I am not reading into it because, even recently, I have been told the chic likes me.
But I ask for her number or something and she backs off. I try not to ask too soon either. What am I doing wrong?
Any idea? It should be easy, especially when you know for a fact she is interested. But it always seems to go this
way for me. What can I do to change this strange hault or prevent it?
Happy
Gegogi
01-23-2007, 02:58 AM
Nothing you can do. You can't
stop the earth from spinning. However it helps to chase after women rather than girls. You'll never totally get rid
of the games, but at least women are more direct and upfront. I recall having the exact same problem when I chased
after 18 and 19 year olds. They'd tease me, I'd get interested and ask them out and they'd say no. The cat 'n
mouse game seemed to spin on endlessly. I'd get fed-up, move on to an actual woman--5 or 6 years makes a big
diff--and then the silly young one often comes running back ready to compete, sometimes pissed as hell. Of course
once you taste a woman, ain't no going back to fingerling...
WorkingMann
01-23-2007, 04:18 AM
Yes I have to agree here..
Women LOVES their little games.. If you don't do exactly as they've intended it's a no no!
I think I've read it
in here, and will use it as an example..
A guy has this girl floating around all night and it's begining to be
kinda obiusly that she wants to go with him home..
When they're on they're way to go, she fakes to have lost her
keys..
ANd the point is that now he's suppose to say well you can spend the night at my place if you want..
And
so he does but this tiny little difference is that he ask TO EARLY.. SHw wanted him to go down on he's knee's and
look for the keys as a gentleman and THEN ask.. But because he read the game and knew what the point was, just
because he skipped the one point and wnet straight for the end results, she said no..
Women love's their games and
if you can't figure out what they want they're aint gonna play with ya..
bubblebob
01-23-2007, 04:29 AM
Try this: Tell her that she
seems to be a great friend and that you you would like her number so you could talk again. That little word
'friend' will most likely kill their little 'you want me but you won't get me' game...
Marlboro_man
01-23-2007, 08:35 PM
Try this:
Tell her that she seems to be a great friend and that you you would like her number so you could talk again.
That little word 'friend' will most likely kill their little 'you want me but you won't get me'
game...
Yes use the work FRIEND but don't use seems as it makes you seem unsure. Try something along
these lines. Hey, my buddy is having a party Friday night and he told me to bring some friends along. Pause... You
can come along if you like, there will be plenty of girls for you to talk to so you won't be lonely.
What does
this say to her?
1st you are qualifying her as friend and not the other way around, very powerful. 2nd Your voice
inflection should represent that you could care less if she comes, and that will make her wonder why. 3rd the
plenty of girls makes her think why would he care about other girls (be careful with this it can backfire if done
wrong). 4th you won't be lonely says you don't need her and you don't plan on being around her all night. Hell
even tell her to bring some of her friends along so she's not lonely.
Of course make sure a worthwhile party
exists, and don't follow her like a puppy. If you don't have a party apply these principles to something else.
Be creative, girls love it! or to use their terms play the game, but play it by your rules not hers!!!!!!!!
happyman
01-23-2007, 10:40 PM
Yes I have to
agree here.. Women LOVES their little games.. If you don't do exactly as they've intended it's a no no!
I
think I've read it in here, and will use it as an example..
A guy has this girl floating around all night and
it's begining to be kinda obiusly that she wants to go with him home..
When they're on they're way to go, she
fakes to have lost her keys..
ANd the point is that now he's suppose to say well you can spend the night at my
place if you want..
And so he does but this tiny little difference is that he ask TO EARLY.. SHw wanted him to go
down on he's knee's and look for the keys as a gentleman and THEN ask.. But because he read the game and knew what
the point was, just because he skipped the one point and wnet straight for the end results, she said no..
Women
love's their games and if you can't figure out what they want they're aint gonna play with
ya..
__________________________________________________ __________
Are you refferring to my story a
few months back on this exact situation? If so, you could of just said you remember my story on this scenario but I
do appreciate the initial respect.
Yes that was me. And Guess what. You are right. Instead of playing along
and helping her look for those keys I bit far to early without ever at-least putting in the needed time and a little
effort at the end in looking to helping her find her keys (which was an obvious story)....now I know.
Happy
happyman
01-23-2007, 10:59 PM
Yes use the
work FRIEND but don't use seems as it makes you seem unsure. Try something along these lines. Hey, my buddy is
having a party Friday night and he told me to bring some friends along. Pause... You can come along if you like,
there will be plenty of girls for you to talk to so you won't be lonely.
What does this say to her?
1st
you are qualifying her as friend and not the other way around, very powerful. 2nd Your voice inflection should
represent that you could care less if she comes, and that will make her wonder why. 3rd the plenty of girls makes
her think why would he care about other girls (be careful with this it can backfire if done wrong). 4th you won't
be lonely says you don't need her and you don't plan on being around her all night. Hell even tell her to bring
some of her friends along so she's not lonely.
Of course make sure a worthwhile party exists, and don't
follow her like a puppy. If you don't have a party apply these principles to something else. Be creative, girls
love it! or to use their terms play the game, but play it by your rules not
hers!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________ __________
She will know now
dude dude. A FANTASTIC IDEA if it were two weeks ago. Now, she will know. A GREAT idea for future contacts though. I
will use it. I think when she emails. You see, I am going to have to do it in an email. Such as, hmmmm, : -Her Name
Here-, your a nice friend, thanks for the advice.
You Know here it is:
1. I ALWAYS HEAR, AND READ ABOUT
to NEVER.....> EVER let yourself fall in the friend category with a chic. So I have always instilled it in me to
keep my edge and never act like a total friend. But I tell ya, in my situation, they never followed through or came
to me either. There was always this back and forth thing. Now, while it kept me out of the total friend category, It
kept my edge, however nothing ever really happend this way.
BUT, I ALWAYS NOTICE that when I am only trying
to be just friends with a girl I could care less about she ALWAYS ends up liking me. ALWAYS.
Everyone has
their niche,
I think I may of just found mine. I have to initially come off as a friend, that only thinks of a
the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder dude (that, I have never been anyway). I will
make it a point to tell her I think of her as a "nice friend to have".
I think this approach may actually
catch them completely off guard and turn the tables before they were ever turned in the first place you know.
What do you think? I think I should use this approach from now on.
Hell I always try the other approach
and it never really worked unless it happend for both of us when we were not expecting it. Never when I liked a girl
initially.
This catching the girl off guard, actually may twist the tides initially from the git-go.
Besides, I feel she will want to keep me in the "he's attractive, he's cool, but I just keep him as a little
friend" if I come off as I normally do. So this way it may get them in a totally different mode from the start.
Actually may make them chase you from the start. Reverse pscychology at it's finest. What do you
think?
Happy
Gegogi
01-24-2007, 01:46 AM
"I have to initially come
off as a friend, that only thinks of a the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder
dude..."
Being friends is the most natural human relationship. I prefer females as friends but prefer
to keep them as mere friends most of the time. Who needs the complication of romance with every woman you befriend?
However I never shift outta "man" mode and let matters fall where they may. It seems the slight sexual aloofness is
attractive and even enticing to many women. At least for me, these "friendships" often evolve into more. My
preferred next stage is "friends with benefits." Unfortunately I find most women either want to be your friend or
steady lover, but shun "friends with benefits." The problem is, if you really value her friendship, and you step
beyond "friends" you can kiss your friendship goodbye forever. Girlfriends come 'n go but friends are good for many
years.
As for "reverse pscychology," I suggest you banish the game play. I sense you may never beat these
women. They're damn good at games, especially reverse pscychology, and most will see right through you. Why not
focus on making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc. Get involved with an
organization, club, church, community theater, etc., where women share similar values and interests as you. Women
will get to see you as a confident professional or creative individual, and will undoubtedly find you attractive.
There will be less "testing" and the common ground will make the initial stages more organic and flowing.
WorkingMann
01-24-2007, 06:40 AM
I still say the "friend
game" is a good game!
I remember a girl I knew a few years ago.. As kids my stepmother and her friend spend time
together and of course the friend brought her kid.. She's 2-3 years younger than me.. They always wanted us to
become a couple but as a kid I never wanted (was to young :run:)
Than when I got older I knew who she were but
never was around her or spend time with her.. And suddently one of my girlfriends (just friends) had told her how
sweet I was etc. etc. and suddently she wanted me..
I was goin go get a haircut and she called and said she would
come to town to follow me.. Okay I said.. I didn't say much but I could sense she was tryin to get me talkin.. Then
after my haircut she said if we should grab some food.. Okay we went on to get some food and ate.. We got down to
the busstation and she said if I wanted it then her mother could come pick me up and drive me home instead of taking
the bus.. Okay i said.. It ended up with she told her parents they had to go out and eat and take me with
them..
And there I joked with her, and rubbed her shoulders etc. made comments like "you can do it.. YOU CAN DO IT
AAALLLL NIIIGGHHTT LOOOONNGGG" for many things and was fysical with her..
Very funny..! Because she ended up with
sayin to her mom let him come and sleep at our place, because I want him to give me a backrub longer.. :whip:
I
knew what she wanted! :twisted:
I just treated her like a freind but wass fysical and told her comments and
things that indirectly could turn her on..
Like dirty comments that could be misread..
Also a good idea is to rub
her stumach (over and beneath the shirt) if you watch movies, spoon with her, hold her hand, and lie close to
her..
Have worked for me many times.. And the best about women is when they get exited (really exited) they cant
hide it.. They blush, get heavy breathing, and start lying disturbed.. Can't lie still.. :twisted:
And when in
town make comments about other guys that would be great for her, slap her ass to get movin and other fysical stuff
as it doesn't matter..
Marlboro_man
01-24-2007, 08:39 PM
BUT, I
ALWAYS NOTICE that when I am only trying to be just friends with a girl I could care less about she ALWAYS ends up
liking me. ALWAYS.
Everyone has their niche,
I think I may of just found mine. I have to initially come off as
a friend, that only thinks of a the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder dude (that, I
have never been anyway). I will make it a point to tell her I think of her as a "nice friend to have".
I think
this approach may actually catch them completely off guard and turn the tables before they were ever turned in the
first place you know.
What do you think? I think I should use this approach from now on.
Hell I always try the
other approach and it never really worked unless it happend for both of us when we were not expecting it. Never when
I liked a girl initially.
This catching the girl off guard, actually may twist the tides initially from the
git-go. Besides, I feel she will want to keep me in the "he's attractive, he's cool, but I just keep him as a
little friend" if I come off as I normally do. So this way it may get them in a totally different mode from the
start. Actually may make them chase you from the start. Reverse pscychology at it's finest. What do you
think?
Happy
Ok here's my thoughts on what you said. First of all, like G said, reverse psychology
won't work on woman because they are way better at playing games than us!!! 2nd of all if you do the friend thing
wrong be prepared to be just friends. IMHO that's not a bad thing but others would disagree. I always surround
myself with female friends because it makes other woman want to know you and jealous as well as it allows them to
let their guards down a little when you approach them because you seem like less of a hunter, and finally because
hot girls know other hot girls and with time you will get introduced with your foot in the door. :cheers:
Now
that's said go back and read the first paragraph that you wrote and I quoted.
Ok now that's done there is
your distict difference. If you really are indifferent to the woman and could care less of the end result this
technique is magical. Anytime you use this approach you MUST have the attitued of oh well if not her then there
will be another right behind her and that my friend is what will push her magic little button of why not me.
tounge
01-24-2007, 10:32 PM
Why not focus on
making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc. Get involved with an organization, club,
church, community theater, etc., where women share similar values and interests as you. Women will get to see you as
a confident professional or creative individual, and will undoubtedly find you attractive. There will be less
"testing" and the common ground will make the initial stages more organic and flowing.
Nah. That would be hard work. Much easier to sprinkle on some magic liquids and read a dating guru
e-book.
happyman
01-24-2007, 11:21 PM
As for "reverse pscychology," I
suggest you banish the game play. I sense you may never beat these women. They're damn good at games, especially
reverse pscychology, and most will see right through you.
Well you are right, a woman is too hard to beat at
a game. They almost ALWAYS know what you are thinking even when you try to totally hide it. They can "Feel" and
sense when something is not real. Unless she is in love with you and you want to screw with her head. Then it is
easy, but in reality, even in this situation she knows the game deep down and is only ignoring the truth. And on
that note, anyone that wants to do that to someone eles is immature and selfish and not worth their own powder in
the first place.
I wasn't talking about playing a game. I was talking about a different approach, while
still being yourself. For the most part, games are for kids anyhoo, you know that.
"Why not focus on
making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc."
I am educated, haven't been to
the gym in a while but still havne't lost shape really, just the pump. Also I am good looking I am told (so some
say lol who the heck knows). Confident-sure, why not, not too much though. Kinda cocky in a friendly teasing way.
Never to act better than anyone though. I asked a girl who is a friend. She said "your as confident as the next joe
and have a slightly cocky (yet she assurred in a non-offensive friendly way, never a "real dick"), and a nutty
personality. But never in a obtrusive or purposeful way". She also stated I was funny. I am always told that. Kind -
of a clown actually. Oh well.
Anyway,
this is great input you all. Thank you.
Gegogi
01-25-2007, 01:44 AM
Well Hap, if what you write is
indeed true, I can't imagine what the problem is. We all have weaknesses and screwup all the time--you merely must
hit a few of the major marks to be successful. Amazingly even butt-breath losers manage to somehow get nice GFs from
time to time.
One thing I learned is you must put out a sexual vibe without being crude or too obvious. Don't
hold it back but or shamelessly flaunt it, but let it naturally ooze outta your pores. It's mostly in your eye
contact and how you look at her. You gotta nail the eye thing early on too. Of course, how you carry and hold
yourself should give her the sensual vibe as well. After a few days of that, plus a little SOE/NPA, any woman even
mildly attracted to you will be all hot 'n bothered down in her shorts.
As for clowning around and being nutty,
such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like romance and being treated like a lady,
and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date women much younger than me and have
heard all the complaints.
WorkingMann
01-25-2007, 06:46 AM
As for
clowning around and being nutty, such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like
romance and being treated like a lady, and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date
women much younger than me and have heard all the complaints.
I've often been told that it's the joking
that does the job.. If he's a funny guy and a little cocky (without bein a jerk) she will more often like him over
the guy that looks good..
If you always got a quick good line to joke around with she will laugh her as of and
later in the night she will either fall on you stumach and laugh and then kis you, or just say sshhh and then kiss
you..
I'm funny but not THAT-KINDA funny.. But some of my friends is so I know it.. They told many story's like
that..
One of my friends is really really big, and he smells (doesn't shower much and just does the trucker-bath)
and he's very succesfull with the ladies because he that kinda funny..
And I would also prefer the gunny girl
that doesn't look good (because I feel good around her if we can laugh and have fun) instead of the beautifull
chick.. Plus often if they're really hot their personality isn't me either but I prefer the funniness..
Marlboro_man
01-26-2007, 12:27 PM
As for
clowning around and being nutty, such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like
romance and being treated like a lady, and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date
women much younger than me and have heard all the complaints.
Agreed that too much clowing makes you look
immature and although you may be funny, you may not be dating material. I don't know where you fall here
happy.
I respectfully disagree with G on the romance thing. Romance is for long term relationships, YES!, but
not for first dates or getting someone to date you. ESPECIALLY with younger girls!
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