Need help closing the date, Any clue?

[happyman]

Hi,

I need help in closing the date. It always seems a girl is interested in me and when I start to show

interest like asking her out or for her number she backs off. This always happens. I try not to be too "available"

or eager but it never fails that in the fact that things will be going right along and then I ask her out or for her

number and she changes. I KNOW I am not reading into it because, even recently, I have been told the chic likes me.

But I ask for her number or something and she backs off. I try not to ask too soon either. What am I doing wrong?

Any idea? It should be easy, especially when you know for a fact she is interested. But it always seems to go this

way for me. What can I do to change this strange hault or prevent it?


Happy

[Gegogi]

Nothing you can do. You can't

stop the earth from spinning. However it helps to chase after women rather than girls. You'll never totally get rid

of the games, but at least women are more direct and upfront. I recall having the exact same problem when I chased

after 18 and 19 year olds. They'd tease me, I'd get interested and ask them out and they'd say no. The cat 'n

mouse game seemed to spin on endlessly. I'd get fed-up, move on to an actual woman--5 or 6 years makes a big

diff--and then the silly young one often comes running back ready to compete, sometimes pissed as hell. Of course

once you taste a woman, ain't no going back to fingerling...

[WorkingMann]

Yes I have to agree here..

Women LOVES their little games.. If you don't do exactly as they've intended it's a no no!
I think I've read it

in here, and will use it as an example..
A guy has this girl floating around all night and it's begining to be

kinda obiusly that she wants to go with him home..
When they're on they're way to go, she fakes to have lost her

keys..
ANd the point is that now he's suppose to say well you can spend the night at my place if you want..
And

so he does but this tiny little difference is that he ask TO EARLY.. SHw wanted him to go down on he's knee's and

look for the keys as a gentleman and THEN ask.. But because he read the game and knew what the point was, just

because he skipped the one point and wnet straight for the end results, she said no..
Women love's their games and

if you can't figure out what they want they're aint gonna play with ya..

[bubblebob]

Try this: Tell her that she

seems to be a great friend and that you you would like her number so you could talk again. That little word

'friend' will most likely kill their little 'you want me but you won't get me' game...

[Marlboro_man]

Try this:

Tell her that she seems to be a great friend and that you you would like her number so you could talk again.

That little word 'friend' will most likely kill their little 'you want me but you won't get me'

game...

Yes use the work FRIEND but don't use seems as it makes you seem unsure. Try something along

these lines. Hey, my buddy is having a party Friday night and he told me to bring some friends along. Pause... You

can come along if you like, there will be plenty of girls for you to talk to so you won't be lonely.

What does

this say to her?
1st you are qualifying her as friend and not the other way around, very powerful. 2nd Your voice

inflection should represent that you could care less if she comes, and that will make her wonder why. 3rd the

plenty of girls makes her think why would he care about other girls (be careful with this it can backfire if done

wrong). 4th you won't be lonely says you don't need her and you don't plan on being around her all night. Hell

even tell her to bring some of her friends along so she's not lonely.

Of course make sure a worthwhile party

exists, and don't follow her like a puppy. If you don't have a party apply these principles to something else.

Be creative, girls love it! or to use their terms play the game, but play it by your rules not hers!!!!!!!!

[happyman]

Yes I have to

agree here.. Women LOVES their little games.. If you don't do exactly as they've intended it's a no no!
I

think I've read it in here, and will use it as an example..
A guy has this girl floating around all night and

it's begining to be kinda obiusly that she wants to go with him home..
When they're on they're way to go, she

fakes to have lost her keys..
ANd the point is that now he's suppose to say well you can spend the night at my

place if you want..
And so he does but this tiny little difference is that he ask TO EARLY.. SHw wanted him to go

down on he's knee's and look for the keys as a gentleman and THEN ask.. But because he read the game and knew what

the point was, just because he skipped the one point and wnet straight for the end results, she said no..
Women

love's their games and if you can't figure out what they want they're aint gonna play with

ya..
__________________________________________________ __________

Are you refferring to my story a

few months back on this exact situation? If so, you could of just said you remember my story on this scenario but I

do appreciate the initial respect.

Yes that was me. And Guess what. You are right. Instead of playing along

and helping her look for those keys I bit far to early without ever at-least putting in the needed time and a little

effort at the end in looking to helping her find her keys (which was an obvious story)....now I know.



Happy

[happyman]

Yes use the

work FRIEND but don't use seems as it makes you seem unsure. Try something along these lines. Hey, my buddy is

having a party Friday night and he told me to bring some friends along. Pause... You can come along if you like,

there will be plenty of girls for you to talk to so you won't be lonely.

What does this say to her?
1st

you are qualifying her as friend and not the other way around, very powerful. 2nd Your voice inflection should

represent that you could care less if she comes, and that will make her wonder why. 3rd the plenty of girls makes

her think why would he care about other girls (be careful with this it can backfire if done wrong). 4th you won't

be lonely says you don't need her and you don't plan on being around her all night. Hell even tell her to bring

some of her friends along so she's not lonely.

Of course make sure a worthwhile party exists, and don't

follow her like a puppy. If you don't have a party apply these principles to something else. Be creative, girls

love it! or to use their terms play the game, but play it by your rules not

hers!!!!!!!!

__________________________________________________ __________

She will know now

dude dude. A FANTASTIC IDEA if it were two weeks ago. Now, she will know. A GREAT idea for future contacts though. I

will use it. I think when she emails. You see, I am going to have to do it in an email. Such as, hmmmm, : -Her Name

Here-, your a nice friend, thanks for the advice.

You Know here it is:
1. I ALWAYS HEAR, AND READ ABOUT

to NEVER.....> EVER let yourself fall in the friend category with a chic. So I have always instilled it in me to

keep my edge and never act like a total friend. But I tell ya, in my situation, they never followed through or came

to me either. There was always this back and forth thing. Now, while it kept me out of the total friend category, It

kept my edge, however nothing ever really happend this way.

BUT, I ALWAYS NOTICE that when I am only trying

to be just friends with a girl I could care less about she ALWAYS ends up liking me. ALWAYS.

Everyone has

their niche,
I think I may of just found mine. I have to initially come off as a friend, that only thinks of a

the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder dude (that, I have never been anyway). I will

make it a point to tell her I think of her as a "nice friend to have".

I think this approach may actually

catch them completely off guard and turn the tables before they were ever turned in the first place you know.



What do you think? I think I should use this approach from now on.
Hell I always try the other approach

and it never really worked unless it happend for both of us when we were not expecting it. Never when I liked a girl

initially.

This catching the girl off guard, actually may twist the tides initially from the git-go.

Besides, I feel she will want to keep me in the "he's attractive, he's cool, but I just keep him as a little

friend" if I come off as I normally do. So this way it may get them in a totally different mode from the start.

Actually may make them chase you from the start. Reverse pscychology at it's finest. What do you

think?

Happy

[Gegogi]

"I have to initially come

off as a friend, that only thinks of a the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder

dude..."

Being friends is the most natural human relationship. I prefer females as friends but prefer

to keep them as mere friends most of the time. Who needs the complication of romance with every woman you befriend?

However I never shift outta "man" mode and let matters fall where they may. It seems the slight sexual aloofness is

attractive and even enticing to many women. At least for me, these "friendships" often evolve into more. My

preferred next stage is "friends with benefits." Unfortunately I find most women either want to be your friend or

steady lover, but shun "friends with benefits." The problem is, if you really value her friendship, and you step

beyond "friends" you can kiss your friendship goodbye forever. Girlfriends come 'n go but friends are good for many

years.

As for "reverse pscychology," I suggest you banish the game play. I sense you may never beat these

women. They're damn good at games, especially reverse pscychology, and most will see right through you. Why not

focus on making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc. Get involved with an

organization, club, church, community theater, etc., where women share similar values and interests as you. Women

will get to see you as a confident professional or creative individual, and will undoubtedly find you attractive.

There will be less "testing" and the common ground will make the initial stages more organic and flowing.

[WorkingMann]

I still say the "friend

game" is a good game!
I remember a girl I knew a few years ago.. As kids my stepmother and her friend spend time

together and of course the friend brought her kid.. She's 2-3 years younger than me.. They always wanted us to

become a couple but as a kid I never wanted (was to young :run:)
Than when I got older I knew who she were but

never was around her or spend time with her.. And suddently one of my girlfriends (just friends) had told her how

sweet I was etc. etc. and suddently she wanted me..
I was goin go get a haircut and she called and said she would

come to town to follow me.. Okay I said.. I didn't say much but I could sense she was tryin to get me talkin.. Then

after my haircut she said if we should grab some food.. Okay we went on to get some food and ate.. We got down to

the busstation and she said if I wanted it then her mother could come pick me up and drive me home instead of taking

the bus.. Okay i said.. It ended up with she told her parents they had to go out and eat and take me with

them..
And there I joked with her, and rubbed her shoulders etc. made comments like "you can do it.. YOU CAN DO IT

AAALLLL NIIIGGHHTT LOOOONNGGG" for many things and was fysical with her..
Very funny..! Because she ended up with

sayin to her mom let him come and sleep at our place, because I want him to give me a backrub longer.. :whip:
I

knew what she wanted! :twisted:

I just treated her like a freind but wass fysical and told her comments and

things that indirectly could turn her on..
Like dirty comments that could be misread..
Also a good idea is to rub

her stumach (over and beneath the shirt) if you watch movies, spoon with her, hold her hand, and lie close to

her..
Have worked for me many times.. And the best about women is when they get exited (really exited) they cant

hide it.. They blush, get heavy breathing, and start lying disturbed.. Can't lie still.. :twisted:

And when in

town make comments about other guys that would be great for her, slap her ass to get movin and other fysical stuff

as it doesn't matter..

[Marlboro_man]

BUT, I

ALWAYS NOTICE that when I am only trying to be just friends with a girl I could care less about she ALWAYS ends up

liking me. ALWAYS.

Everyone has their niche,
I think I may of just found mine. I have to initially come off as

a friend, that only thinks of a the girl as a friend, without being some sappy cry on the shoulder dude (that, I

have never been anyway). I will make it a point to tell her I think of her as a "nice friend to have".

I think

this approach may actually catch them completely off guard and turn the tables before they were ever turned in the

first place you know.

What do you think? I think I should use this approach from now on.
Hell I always try the

other approach and it never really worked unless it happend for both of us when we were not expecting it. Never when

I liked a girl initially.

This catching the girl off guard, actually may twist the tides initially from the

git-go. Besides, I feel she will want to keep me in the "he's attractive, he's cool, but I just keep him as a

little friend" if I come off as I normally do. So this way it may get them in a totally different mode from the

start. Actually may make them chase you from the start. Reverse pscychology at it's finest. What do you

think?

Happy


Ok here's my thoughts on what you said. First of all, like G said, reverse psychology

won't work on woman because they are way better at playing games than us!!! 2nd of all if you do the friend thing

wrong be prepared to be just friends. IMHO that's not a bad thing but others would disagree. I always surround

myself with female friends because it makes other woman want to know you and jealous as well as it allows them to

let their guards down a little when you approach them because you seem like less of a hunter, and finally because

hot girls know other hot girls and with time you will get introduced with your foot in the door. :cheers:

Now

that's said go back and read the first paragraph that you wrote and I quoted.

Ok now that's done there is

your distict difference. If you really are indifferent to the woman and could care less of the end result this

technique is magical. Anytime you use this approach you MUST have the attitued of oh well if not her then there

will be another right behind her and that my friend is what will push her magic little button of why not me.

[tounge]

Why not focus on

making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc. Get involved with an organization, club,

church, community theater, etc., where women share similar values and interests as you. Women will get to see you as

a confident professional or creative individual, and will undoubtedly find you attractive. There will be less

"testing" and the common ground will make the initial stages more organic and flowing.








Nah. That would be hard work. Much easier to sprinkle on some magic liquids and read a dating guru

e-book.

[happyman]

As for "reverse pscychology," I

suggest you banish the game play. I sense you may never beat these women. They're damn good at games, especially

reverse pscychology, and most will see right through you.

Well you are right, a woman is too hard to beat at

a game. They almost ALWAYS know what you are thinking even when you try to totally hide it. They can "Feel" and

sense when something is not real. Unless she is in love with you and you want to screw with her head. Then it is

easy, but in reality, even in this situation she knows the game deep down and is only ignoring the truth. And on

that note, anyone that wants to do that to someone eles is immature and selfish and not worth their own powder in

the first place.

I wasn't talking about playing a game. I was talking about a different approach, while

still being yourself. For the most part, games are for kids anyhoo, you know that.


"Why not focus on

making yourself more attractive--education, lifestyle tweaks, workout, etc."

I am educated, haven't been to

the gym in a while but still havne't lost shape really, just the pump. Also I am good looking I am told (so some

say lol who the heck knows). Confident-sure, why not, not too much though. Kinda cocky in a friendly teasing way.

Never to act better than anyone though. I asked a girl who is a friend. She said "your as confident as the next joe

and have a slightly cocky (yet she assurred in a non-offensive friendly way, never a "real dick"), and a nutty

personality. But never in a obtrusive or purposeful way". She also stated I was funny. I am always told that. Kind -

of a clown actually. Oh well.


Anyway,

this is great input you all. Thank you.

[Gegogi]

Well Hap, if what you write is

indeed true, I can't imagine what the problem is. We all have weaknesses and screwup all the time--you merely must

hit a few of the major marks to be successful. Amazingly even butt-breath losers manage to somehow get nice GFs from

time to time.

One thing I learned is you must put out a sexual vibe without being crude or too obvious. Don't

hold it back but or shamelessly flaunt it, but let it naturally ooze outta your pores. It's mostly in your eye

contact and how you look at her. You gotta nail the eye thing early on too. Of course, how you carry and hold

yourself should give her the sensual vibe as well. After a few days of that, plus a little SOE/NPA, any woman even

mildly attracted to you will be all hot 'n bothered down in her shorts.

As for clowning around and being nutty,

such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like romance and being treated like a lady,

and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date women much younger than me and have

heard all the complaints.

[WorkingMann]

As for

clowning around and being nutty, such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like

romance and being treated like a lady, and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date

women much younger than me and have heard all the complaints.

I've often been told that it's the joking

that does the job.. If he's a funny guy and a little cocky (without bein a jerk) she will more often like him over

the guy that looks good..
If you always got a quick good line to joke around with she will laugh her as of and

later in the night she will either fall on you stumach and laugh and then kis you, or just say sshhh and then kiss

you..
I'm funny but not THAT-KINDA funny.. But some of my friends is so I know it.. They told many story's like

that..
One of my friends is really really big, and he smells (doesn't shower much and just does the trucker-bath)

and he's very succesfull with the ladies because he that kinda funny..

And I would also prefer the gunny girl

that doesn't look good (because I feel good around her if we can laugh and have fun) instead of the beautifull

chick.. Plus often if they're really hot their personality isn't me either but I prefer the funniness..

[Marlboro_man]

As for

clowning around and being nutty, such behavior repeatedly tells her she's just one of the boys... Women like

romance and being treated like a lady, and a lot of younger guys kinda miss the boat here. I know as I mainly date

women much younger than me and have heard all the complaints.

Agreed that too much clowing makes you look

immature and although you may be funny, you may not be dating material. I don't know where you fall here

happy.

I respectfully disagree with G on the romance thing. Romance is for long term relationships, YES!, but

not for first dates or getting someone to date you. ESPECIALLY with younger girls!